No one knew it, but Will Kipp was a slave to fashion.

He had been watching the stores, the runways, the catalogs, and now, he was sure that his time had come.

It wasn't that he wanted to wear jeans that were so tight that he could barely get out of them. It was just that it was the 90's, for Chrissakes! Fashion fallout from the glam-rock explosion of the 80's was still sending designer shrapnel into the new decade. Designer jeans were all they had ! He couldn't buy anything else!

But Will had waited. Oh, how he had waited. And he had begun to sense the change, as 1992 started to creak by. Hair had gotten a little... straighter. Colors a little more muted. Huge hoop earrings, tucked in over-sized t-shirts, ugly slip-on shoes... they all started to go away.

And the jeans had started to loosen.

Will had opened the box of regular width jeans with trepidation that morning, his hands trembling as he pulled them on. It was a desperate act, the act of a strangled man. He wanted to be in style. He really did. But he just couldn't take it anymore.

Will Kipp was taking a step forward, and leaving Guess Jeans behind.

When he zipped up the fly and buttoned the top button, his whole body had veritably melted in pure relief and unadulterated comfort. A Levi-induced dream-trance fell over him, and when he came to, he was humming "Bye Bye, Miss American Pie" in the key of C.

He sighed happily, the memory of this morning giving him a small respite from his worry, as he trudged through the swamp with Alec on the way to Arcane's compound.

Alec grumbled unintelligibly to himself. He wished Will would stop sighing like that. It made him sound like such a girl.

Will lagged behind Alec, as he felt suddenly very peculiar, as if-- He shook his head, chuckling. No. No. That was crazy.

But the strange sensation didn't stop. Will stumbled, gasping in horror.

The jeans were getting tighter.

Will screamed, clawing at the Levis, as the once-regular width jeans began to constrict around his legs. "ALEC!! ALLLEC!!!!!!!!"

Alec spun around, hearing Will's cry, and raced toward his friend. Will lay on the ground, clawing at his jeans. "ALEC! THE JEANS! THEY'RE CLOSING IN!!"

"My God..." Alec breathed. "Will, what do you want me to do? The swamp's life force is powerless against synthetics."

Will fumbled desperately at the zipper, but it was no use. "They're denim, I swear! Just DO SOMETHING!!!" He hung his head. This couldn't be happening. This just couldn't be happening. They had been REGULARS !!! How could Fate be so cruel?!

"ALEC!!" Will screamed. "TAKE 'EM OFF!!!"

Alec stared. "You want me to what ?"

"TAKE MY PANTS OFF!!!"

Alec flushed a particularly bright shade of green. "Will, I... shouldn't be the one to--"

Will stared up at Alec desperately. "Alec, the jeans are strangling him!!"

Alec frowned in worry. "Who?"

Will closed his eyes tight, trying to breathe. "Little Will!!!"

Alec was confused. "Little--" Realization hit him. "Ohhh." He grimaced. As he watched Will struggle, he realized that there wasn't much time left. The jeans were growing ever tighter.

He closed his eyes and made a grab for Will's fly.

"OW!"

Alec's eyes snapped open. "What? What?"

"You hit my nose!"

"I'm sorry, Will." He closed his eyes and tried again.

It took about ten more minutes before Alec finally reached the zipper, and another fifteen before he could pry the pants off. Finally, the two sat back, with Will gasping for the sweet oxygen, and Alec gasping with the exertion -- even plant strength was hard put against those pants. Will glared at the jeans and threw them into the swamp. "Rot in hell," he hissed.

Alec glanced down at Will's boxers. "My Little Pony Fun Prints?" he asked with an arched mossy eyebrow.

"They're musical," Will exclaimed proudly.

At that very moment, Tressa's couch exploded. "Damn piece of foreign junk."