Tressa's mood not only hadn't improved, but had actually taken several steps further into increased irritability. Still bemoaning the lack of her morning cholesterol fix she had sought to improve her temper by writing some more of the story she'd decided to embark on. After a few deep breaths to control her rising blood pressure at Will's earlier faux pas, and ensuing customary lack of consideration, she went to fetch her laptop to do some writing. It was perhaps just as well that Will wasn't around when she discovered the remnants of her beloved computer; and she didn't want to think about the five months of hard work that had been on it's sorry little scorched hard drive. Novel writing was a damned sight more difficult than most people gave credit for. The boat trips and tours had been slow lately. She'd read the advert in the newspaper asking for submissions, promising wonderful financial returns; not to mention the accompanying fame; and so, of course, she'd written in. They sent the guidelines, and having perused them, she'd decided firmly that the life of a romance novelist could be a good one! That was five months ago, and her masterpiece was now in ruins. Well, at least she had a backup on CD-R.... "Unless that's exploded too!" She snarled grimly to nobody in particular. She looked around tentatively. No. She breathed a sigh of relief. It was on the table in it's case, and safe.....for now....Don't think about that one too loud! She mentally admonished herself. Still, she could hardly do any work on the story now. Mom's old typewriter's in the attic! She thought quickly. She could still do something and re-type it up later when the computer was replaced. That was it. Nothing like a nice relaxing bit of writing to calm the old nerves. As an afterthought she grabbed the floppy discs from the table. They'd be safer with her; after all, nothing she'd been actually touching had exploded, had it? Tentatively she crept upstairs, warily eyeing her surroundings in case they decided to spontaneously combust. The attic was strangely calm. Almost too calm, she thought suspiciously. After a few minutes of delving amongst the cobwebs she came across the typewriter: An old Silver Reed. She placed it on the table and put a scrap of paper in, typing a few letters as a test. Wonderful! She smiled. There was still enough ink on the old ribbon. Pacified for now, Tressa began her creativity in earnest, her mood distinctively better than before.
The elevator doors opened and Anton Arcane sauntered into the laboratory, looking in a somewhat better mood than before. Graham turned to look at him.
"You're hair, Sir?" He said, perplexed.
"Yes, Graham. What about my hair?"
"It's....it's, er, normal again." Well, maybe normal's not the right word, he thought, but it's definitely you!. "Did you find another working hair dryer, Doctor?"
"No, Graham. No need for those trivialities?." Arcane said casually. "Some things just right themselves quite naturally....especially amongst the more gifted of us, eh?" Graham nodded, although still a little perplexed. "Anyway, we've got far more important things to deal with right now than my hairstyle, Graham." He addressed his assistant, wisely deciding not to mention his cunning plan to combine tortuous towel drying, half a cannister of Nexus firmest hold mousse, and hanging himself upside down from his towel rail over a portable heater for the last 40 minutes. You're a genius, Anton! He proudly reminded himself, surveying his gloriously restored mane in the reflection of a shiny metal filing cabinet. No problem is insurmountable with a little help from my intellect; and `Incredible' is my middle name, after all!
"There was a minor incident an hour ago in the pits outside, Doctor: Some acid leakage after a pipe burst open; but there's been nothing new happening. No more explosions for now. It all quietened down suddenly, Sir." Graham's voice broke him off from his train of self agrandising thought.
"Well, that's something of a relief at any rate. Have you found out anything more about what's been happening?"
"Er, no, Sir. We've been too busy clearing up and assessing the damage." Arcane's irritated look returned abruptly.
"I don't know. I'm absent for a mere hour and nothing useful gets done. Must I do everything myself?"
"I'll get onto it, Doctor Arcane."
"Oh, don't bother on my account, Graham. I'll look into it myself. You could hardly be trusted with an investigation requiring initiative and intellect anyway!" Graham look downwards, hurt by the rebuke.
Arcane noticed and sighed irritably. "Stop sulking, Graham. If it'll make you happy you can come and check the damage outside with me; after I've spoken to Sheriff Andrews, that is" Graham just nodded, still looking downwards and shuffling his feet a bit. His lips hadn't quite formed a sullen pout, but it was close.
"Graham! Are you even listening to me?" Arcane snapped cynically at his assistant.
"Yes, Doctor" came the almost monosyllabic reply. What little patience Arcane had was wearing thin.
"In that case, make yourself useful and get Andrews on the phone for me."
Graham walked over to a bench and picked up a piece of black plastic that resembled something that had crawled out of a Salvador Dali painting, and proferred it to Arcane.
"Your cellphone was one of the first things to go this morning, Doctor." Graham pointed out to him. Arcane frowned.
"Then use the laboratory phone, you idiot!"
Graham went over to the wall mounted telephone at the other side of the lab. He moved to pick it up, then stopped just short of touching it; eyeing it like a swarm of bees that might decide to sting him any moment now.
"Graham. What are you waiting for?" Arcane called angrily to him.
"Wouldn't it be best if you dialled, Sir? You're going to be the one to speak to him." Graham was still keeping a relatively safe distance from the phone.
"Graham? Kindly remind me who is in charge here. In a moment of absent minded misunderstanding I've obviously forgotten."
Graham sucked his cheeks in with frustration. "But, Doctor Arcane....what if it...well...explodes?"
"Well you wouldn't want to see me injured, would you?" Arcane said casually.
"No, Sir. I'd hate for that to happen!" It wasn't obvious, but there may have been just a tiny degree of sarcasm to the way Graham had said that. He closed his eyes and snatched at the receiver. Nothing untoward happened. He swiftly dialled the required numbers and reticently put the receiver next to his ear. Arcane made his way over to where Graham was.
"Sheriff Andrews?" Arcane heard Graham's voice talking to someone on the other end of the phone. He reached out, indicating that Graham hand him the receiver. Graham complied, then backed off, happy to be at a safer distance from anything remotely explodable.
"What's going on, Sheriff?" Arcane said evenly to the man at the other end. "Deputy Jensen?.........Well, where's Andrews?........Well how long is he going to be away, this is bloody important? .......Wonderful! ......... No.............Yes........You don't say?...........Very well, I suppose you can help. I want to know what's going on with these...incidents that have been happening.........Everywhere, you say .......California?..........Canada??..........But you're sure Houma has the most concentrated incidents?......Hmmmm, interesting.........No theories yet, then?.........Well collate all your data and send it to me..........Your Fax melted?.........Well transfer the damned file then!...........Oh...No computer either!...........Well have it delivered then......You do have some cars left, I take it?....Oh good!..........Yes...yes I appreciate that it'll take time..........Yes.........Yes.........Do it anyway...........Yes, I'll see you get your usual fee! Goodbye, Deputy.....and Get Andrews to call me when he does decide to turn up." Arcane slammed the receiver down, almost breaking it himself.
"Do you still think it's Holland's doing, Sir?" Graham enquired.
"No. Definitely not Holland. It's too widespread. Besides, annoying me may be one of his sadistic pleasures, but he wouldn't do anything that would endanger inno......people other than me."
"There's not a lot more we can do for now, Doctor. Why don't we check the acid pits outside?"
"Why not. I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing on such a fine and cheerful morning! Lead on, Graham."
Outside the complex, Alec and Will stared at the scene. It was busier than usual. Multitudes of workmen were scurrying about with a purpose. Will frowned.
"It's gonna be tough getting past them, Alec; and Arcane's not exactly going to make himself accessible to us."
"It isn't usually this busy. I knew he must be up to something. The instincts of The Swamp are never wrong, Will"
"Well what do we do? Wait?"
"For now, Will. Yes. Waiting is all we can do."
"I don't like it, Alec. There must be a way of getting into the building." He looked around, desperately seeking anything that they could use as cover. Will's eyes widened eagerly at a sight by one of the pits.
"Alec; Look! We've hit the jackpot! Yes!!" Alec followed Will's gaze to one of the acid pits. It was Arcane and Graham themselves. They'd just exited the building and had approached one of the pits. He looked at the perimeter fencing. Fortune was smiling broadly. That pit just happened to be right next to it, albeit a few hundred yards away to the right. He turned to Will and smiled. They both nodded to each other and set off. It would be simplicity to break through the fencing and get to Arcane before the guards could interfere. Once he had Arcane, they'd dare not interfere for fear of injuring the scientist.
"Shouldn't be too long before the spill's all cleaned up, Doctor." Graham said helpfully as Arcane surveyed the damage. Arcane merely nodded. It wasn't as bad as he'd expected. Some of the workers had been burned and injured, but that didn't really matter. He hadn't lost too much of the acid. He felt a modicum of satisfaction.
"We may as well go inside, Graham, in case Andrews calls. There isn't much to do out here."
"Where is Sheriff Andrews?" Graham asked as an afterthought.
"He had an incident problem this morning. He was apparently still trying to extricate himself."
"From what?"
"Graham.....Don't ask. Just pray it never happens to either of us!"
"Look at them, Alec. Probably talking about their deranged schemes."
"Indeed, Will. There's no evil that Arcane isn't capable of."
They'd moved round the perimeter and were merely 20 metres or so from the two men. The noise of the place made it difficult to hear the conversation though.
"Time to go, Alec. Let's go get them."
"Wait, Will."
"Alec?"
"We can't go in like this."
"Huh?.......Oh!" Will followed Alec's gaze down to his mode of attire.
"Will. It is not in my nature to be judgemental;" He paused and thought on that for a moment, but continued anyway; "But I don't feel....comfortable for us to confront Arcane when you're dressed in those.....My Little Pony Fun Prints" He muttered those last words in a tiny gravelly whisper.
"You want me to take them off, then?" Will quipped sarcastically
"No! No, I'll go in alone."
"There's two of them Alec. You can't split yourself in two.......can you? Look, Arcane could get away. You need me there to deal with Graham."
"Hmmmm." Alec pondered this. "Very well. I could render a guard unconscious and you could use the uniform."
"Hey! Fine by me. Show me a guard near enough?"
Alec looked around. It wasn't promising. Where was there a guard when you did need one.
"No time, Alec. We've got to move now. They're leaving!" With a resigned sigh cum snarl, Alec tore through the fencing and he and Will made straight for Arcane and Graham, who's backs were now turned from them.
For now oblivious to all this, Graham and Arcane made their way back towards the elevator. After the morning's tensions Graham seemed more much relaxed.
"So, Doctor Arcane, there's not much to do for the moment since we don't have much working equipment left; and Stella's dealing with the data collation. And well, we're waiting for the police reports, and, well, I guess we could always do some......."
"Aaaccchhhh!!"
"Doctor??" Graham turned as he heard Arcane give a strangled cry. As he turned he saw the familiar and unwelcome form of Alec Holland holding Arcane by the throat. Graham backed away slowly, indicating he wasn't going to resist if it would endanger his employer.
"What do you want, Holland?" Graham asked agitatedly. "Let Dr. Arcane go."
"Not until we get some answers from you creeps." Will's voice answered from behind Graham. Alec cringed and shut his eyes briefly as he saw Will. He'd managed to sort this out on his own. It wasn't necessary for Will to have joined in. Alec held Arcane firmly, but released the grip on the man's throat. With a choked cough, Arcane began to breathe again.
"Bloody Hell, Holland. Are you trying to give me a heart attack!?" He gasped, rubbing his throat with his one arm that wasn't pinioned behind his back. "What the Hell is the meaning of th......." His anger momentarily forgotten, Arcane's voice trailed off as he noticed Will for the first time. "My Little Pony Fun Prints??" Was all he could think of to say that seemed remotely appropriate.
"They're musical!" Will announced; "Like it's any of your concern." Arcane just stared. Anton Arcane was a man who was rarely lost for words, but this did seem to be one of those occasions. Alec cringed inside again, fearing The Swamp's street cred heading down the toilet.
"There was a sale of them on at the Wal-Mart in Beaumont;" Graham added; "........Urm, or so I was told." By now Arcane had composed himself. If he'd been at all afraid before, the sight of Will's underwear seemed to break that mood rapidly.
"So, Holland. To what do I owe the pleasure of this little social call? You can release my arm, you know. I doubt I could escape you. Besides, since you're here I've got some questions I'd like to ask you. We can talk civilly, you know." He glanced back at Will. He couldn't help it. The eyes just kept getting drawn back. "I won't ask." He muttered. Yes. Best not to ask. The image of both that and of Sheriff Andrews in one morning was more than enough for any sane man to bear.
"What are you up to, Arcane?"
"Walking. Minding my own business. Talking with Graham here. What exactly are you implying, Holland?"
"You know very well what I'm talking about. I abhor violence, but when innocent people...my friends are endangered I WILL find the truth. And I will do to you whatever it takes to find it!"
"Oh stop being so bloody melodramatic, Holland! Graham! Give him some of your Prozac, will you."
"This is no time for flippancy, Arcane."
Arcane merely stared back at Will again, raising his eybrows quizzically. "Show me a better time, then. Look, Holland. You're here about the incidents. Unexplained explosions of everyday objects....Yes?"
"Yes."
"Good. Then perhaps you can tell ME what's causing them? In case it's escaped your notice, my complex has suffered considerable damage today. Look around you." Alec complied. It was true, he had to admit. The workforce did seem to be busy repairing things. "This is happening nationwide, Holland. Objects are spontaneously self destructing. People are being hurt, or incapacitated..." His mind couldn't help trailing back to the image of Sheriff Andrews. He shuddered, although allowing himself a brief mental smile; "....And I can assure you that I've got nothing to do with it. I was nearly injured myself earlier."
Alec held him tightly and closed his eyes, concentrating. With a sigh, he released Arcane. "He's telling the truth, Will. He really doesn't know anything about this."
"Can I safely take it that you don't know what's causing this either?" Arcane asked rhetorically.
"Yes." Was Alec's succinct reply.
"Look, Holland. I'll make a deal with you. If you find out anything about this, let me know. I'll do the same for you. Between us we'll have a better chance of getting to the bottom of it." Alec had to grudgingly agree with the logic. However, trusting Arcane was a different matter, and something that came anything but easily to him.
Nonetheless, for now it seemed the only thing he could do. "Very well, Arcane. But I warn you. Try to withhold information; or doublecross me if what you find proves useful to you, and I shall....."
"I get the general idea, Holland. So! We have a deal then?" Arcane offered his hand, giving Alec one of his best smiles that said `You can trust me with your life'; but made you want to take an immediate shower and look for the knife in your back.
"Yes. A deal, Arcane." Alec replied, not shaking the hand though.
"Jolly good. Well, shouldn't you be off looking for clues then?"
Alec backed away. "Come, Will. There is nothing more to be gained here, for now."
"Oh, and Will?" Arcane said pleasantly; "If you'd like, I can recommend a very good tailor in New Orleans" Will just glared. At that moment there was a spontaneous spark of electricity from the tiny batteries in his shorts waistband; and the "My Little Pony" theme tune started playing in a tinny, but hypnotically cute tone. That was it. Alec had had enough. He grabbed Will by the arm and hurriedly ushered him away from the complex. Arcane and Graham watched smugly as they left.
"Well, that worked out rather well." Arcane said cheerfully.
"It did, Sir?"
"Now we have our resident swamp mystic working for us. Beautifully ironic, isn't it, Graham?" Graham seemed preoccupied.
"Do you think those shorts were dangerous, Sir? They did kind of explode....a bit...."
"We can only hope that they are, Graham. One less Will Kipp in the world is a concept to savour."
"But, Sir....?"
"Oh give it a rest, man. Why are you so interested anyway?"
"Oh....no reason" Graham said warily as they headed back to the elevator.
Stella was waiting for them when they got back to the lab. "Sheriff Andrews called while you were gone." She said helpfully.
"Ah, splendid!" Remarked Arcane. `Best call him back, then."
"There's no point, Doctor. He said he didn't have any more information yet than Deputy Jensen gave you. He'll call again when he does have something."
"Fine. And how is the good Sheriff, Stella?"
"Why, Doctor? Was there supposed to be something wrong with him?"
"He didn't mention anything? What a surprise!" Arcane grinned. Stella looked puzzled, but decided it was best not to pursue the matter. She had work to do. Just then, the laboratory phone rang. "Speaking of the devil, I imagine." Arcane mused, gesturing for Graham to answer it. "Graham, tell the Sheriff I'll be with him shortly." There was a pause as Graham listened to some information from the other end.
"Sir. It isn't Sheriff Andrews." Graham sounded both worried and puzzled.
"Well, who is it?" Arcane snapped. "I've got better things to do than play guessing games with you, Graham."
"It's Security, Sir. The F.B.I's here!"
"WHAT!?" It was a good job Arcane wasn't drinking anything or it would have been sprayed over the desk at this point.
"The F.B.I's here."
"Yes, Graham. I heard what you said. Well what the Hell are they doing here? This is all I bloody need right now. An external investigation into my affairs. And why the Hell didn't Andrews stop them?....Or at least warn me they were coming!? Look, get Security to delay them for a short while. Give them a limited tour...coffee....anything. I need 10 minutes to tidy up and talk to Andrews about this."
"I'll try, Sir." Graham gave security their orders, and as soon as he'd finished, Arcane grabbed the receiver and furiously dialled Sheriff Andrews' number. It was only about 10 seconds that he waited for an answer, but from his impatience it might just as easily been 10 minutes. "And Graham.....For the love of God, make sure Mirador's Brain is well hidden.....Dispose of the autopsies; and Stella, find somewhere quiet to put the bloody mutants!!..... Ah, Sheriff! What the Hell is going on?.......No.......not the explosions.........look, what happened this morning was unfortunate but I've got more important things to think about right now.......NO!.......Look, Sheriff, I pay you very well, do I not?......I expect something in return......... ....yes...........No.........Listen to me, Sheriff, when I suddenly discover the F.B.I turning up on my doorstep I expect to at least have been notified in advance.........Yes, I appreciate you weren't exactly around earlier...... .....No........You must have had some warning of this?..........Oh.........Well what the Hell are they investigating me for anyway?.........That's not good enough, Sheriff. It's your bloody job to know these things!!........."
At that point the elevator doors slid open and two official figures entered, escorted by Security. In one fluid movement, Arcane put down the receiver, composed himself, and changed his expression from one of unaccustomed panic to welcoming friendliness. With an oily smile he proferred his hand and greeted the two visitors.
"Doctor Arcane?" Said one of the officers, an attractive young woman.
"Of course. Who else could I be?" Arcane broadened his smile and took her hand, kissing it gallantly. The officer gave an embarassed smile and withdrew her hand gently. The other officer with her, a wiry man, wasn't paying Arcane any attention. He seemed more interested in scrutinizing the lab in the minutest detail. The woman took out her badge and showed it to Arcane.
"I'm Agent Dana Scully. This is Agent Fox Mulder." She indicated her partner, who had now gone over to some pieces of equipment to look at them in more detail. He was beginning to irritate Arcane already.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Arcane said pleasantly, deftly covering his previous agitation.
"Sir, I'm sure you're aware that there's been some unexplained phenomena occurring across the country."
"I had noticed a few things out of the ordinary." Arcane said mildly.
"Doctor Arcane. Are you aware that the epicenter for these phenomena is here in Houma. That there are approximately 500 percent more incidents than any other town."
"Really? How fascinating." Arcane continued. "And where do I fit into this?" He edged, as pleasantly and politely as possible. By now, Officer Mulder had moved over to examine Arcane's infra-red pain threshold cabinet. He was looking at it as though trying to fit the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together. He was really starting to distract Arcane.
"You are a leading figure in the world of Science, Doctor. Perhaps you have information that could help us in our investigation?"
"You want my help as a Scientist?" Arcane ventured.
"We'd appreciate any assistance, Doctor Arcane. Of course, any information you could supply regarding the nature of the incidents....I presume you've witnessed them firsthand.....would be immensely helpful too."
"If you don't mind my asking, isn't this out of the F.B.I's usual field?"
"We're not a mainstream department of the F.B.I, Sir. It's our job to investigate phenomena such as this." Inside, Arcane's heart leapt with joy and relief. *YES!!!* He thought to himself.
"Do you hear that, Graham?" He beamed. "They've come to help find out about the incidents. Well, I'm sure we'll do our humble best, here at Arcane Industries, to accomodate you in any enquiries."
"We appreciate it, Doctor Arcane."
"What is this, Sir?" Officer Mulder was still at the booth and had pressed a button on the front. The inside of the booth became bathed in a red glow. Arcane rushed over to it and switched it off.
"Heh, Industrial Microwave." He said quickly, trying hard to keep his smile. "Best not get too close, eh?" Mulder shrugged and walked to the other end of the laboratory, where he began peering into test tubes. When Scully wasn't looking his way Arcane gave Graham a furious stare. It positively shouted `Get this man out of here'. Graham just shrugged helplessly.
"Doctor Arcane?" Mulder finally returned to the group. "Have you noticed anything strange round here, Sir?"
"Strange? You mean aside from everyday objects spontaneously exploding?"
Mulder just smiled. "We'll need a list of all the events you've had experience of today putting together."
"That shouldn't be a problem. Why, I'll even get on to it immediately, if that would help."
"We appreciate it. But has anything else happened around here that's out of the ordinary....any unexplained events prior to these?"
Arcane appeared to ponder for a moment. "Unexplained events? ......Nope! Nothing I'd describe as, er, unexplained."
"How about anything unusual or out of the ordinary?"
"Unusual?.....Out of the ordinary?......Nope, not really. Until today, Houma's been pretty normal for....well....Houma. It's a dreadfully boring little town usually." Arcane said innocently.
"Odd. You are aware that even before this there have been numerous reports of sightings in the area?"
"Sightings?" Arcane ventured.
"Human like creatures have been reported in the area by several witnesses."
"Probably had too much to drink on their way home." Arcane smiled reassuringly.
"A man called Carter LaRoche was institutionalised after claiming he saw a Swamp Sasquatch."
"I met the man the couple of times. Over the edge to begin with."
"Naturalist Ian James claimed he saw something similar; and that he even filmed the creature."
"So where's the film?"
"He claims it dissolved on it's own."
"And you don't find anything remotely suspicious about a story like that?"
"Mr. James returned to Houma, and disappeared after making a last phone call to his agent; claiming he was in mortal danger."
"Probably in some tax haven enjoying the sun!"
"A lot of people have disappeared in the swamp."
"It's tragic, I know, but people do drown."
"A while ago there were a number of mysterious deaths. Victims reputedly mauled by a Panther. Panther's aren't indigenous to Houma, are they, Doctor?"
"Not to my knowledge. I believe Sheriff Andrew's investigation found it to be the work of a serial killer."
"There were also a number of mysterious deaths where the bodies became calcified.....kind of like they were turned to stone."
"Just a practical joke. Some local youths built papier mache and plaster likenesses of people and pretended they were bodies. Just read Sheriff Andrews report on it. Just what are you getting at, Agent Mulder?"
"I'm just saying that Houma seems to be something of a hot spot for the unexplained, Doctor."
"I'm a scientist, Mr. Mulder. There are no Sasquatches in Houma. No crop circles; No little green men; and I can assure you that until today, I haven't seen anything that I can't explain quite happily!"
"Mulder." Scully turned to her partner. "We're getting off-track." She whispered an aside. "We're here to investigate known explosive phenomena, not to solve every tabloid story about this town.
"You know me, Scully, always love a challenge."
"Doctor Arcane. Thanks for your time. If you could compile a list of all the incidents you're aware of, and as much detail as possible we'd appreciate it. I'll give you my number. If you could give me a call when it's ready."
"My pleasure, dear lady; and don't hesitate to get in touch if you come up with anything and require my help."
"Of course, Doctor."
"Graham, why don't you show Agents Mulder and Scully out.....May I call you Dana, by the way?." Scully gave a polite, if somewhat unenthusiastic nod.
When they were gone, Arcane veritably collapsed into a chair. He gazed at Stella, who had returned.
"I'm going for a lie down now, Stella. I have a headache; and I don't want disturbing unless the complex is on fire!"
"He's hiding something, Scully." Mulder grinned when they were on their way back from the complex.
"Mulder, do you have to see conspiracy theories everywhere?"
"He had a definite agenda, trust me, Scully."
"The only thing he wanted was pretty obvious to anyone who wasn't looking at Microwaves."
"You wouldn't think jerks like that still existed. I reckon he liked you though. Don't think he liked me very much."
"Can't begin to think why." She grinned broadly. "I think he could help us though."
"You'd think that a guy with hair like that needs all the help HE can get!"
"Still, he is one of the world's leading scientists; and he does have something of a reputation for being unorthodox."
Just then, the car radio started to behave oddly. It started up spontaneously; then channels started skipping violently. Perplexed, Mulder started fiddling with it.
"Leave it, Mulder." Scully advised, bringing the car to a halt.
Mulder pulled his hand away. As the digital channel readout reached 690 it chose that moment to blow up. They just sat there and looked at each other in silence.