Mulder walked down the street, sillhoetted against the light of the full moon.

Arcane watched as Mulder walked away. Good riddance, he spat, muttering aloud, "Nosy, prying wretched little -- Oh, hello Dana," he finished with a smile as the special agent walked up to him.

"Is everything all right?" she asked. "You two were talking for fifteen minutes."

"Yes, yes, of course," he said with a smile, taking her arm, gentleman-like. "Let's go in, shall we?"

Scully smiled slightly, amused, and humoring him, took his arm as they walked back toward the hospital. At least he had manners -- most of the guys she had dated turned out to have some kind of homicidal tendencies or some psychosis or schizophrenia-inducing tattoos or -- and why was she thinking about guys she had dated ? She wasn't dating Arcane. This wasn't a date. This was just a scientific discussion. Over dinner. Alone. Yeah!

Well, as alone as one could be with nurses, doctors, and the myriad maimed citizens of Houma limping through the canteen. The number of people severely injured from the explosions had skyrocketed. The ER was packed, and people were being carted into the canteen.

"Maybe we should just get something from one of the machines and go," Scully suggested. Arcane nodded almost distractedly, seeming temporarily fascinated with the surrounding bloodshed, agony and carnage. He slipped a quarter into the machine. Funny, it was a good thing they were close to the only working one; all the other machines were taped over with big, hastily drawn-up "DO NOT USE!!!" signs. It was cheap Scotch tape that wouldn't hold up for thirty minutes, and he didn't understand--

It was then that Dr. Arcane realized his error. He looked down to the "DO NOT USE!!!" sign at his feet.

There was a faint rumbling.

"Take cover!!" Scully screamed, as medical attendants dove out of the way while she and Arcane, closest to the machine, were hurled against the opposite wall by the force of the blast. Chunky chicken soup sprayed everywhere.

"Someone get these patients out of here!!" an orderly commanded before being hit squarely in the forehead with a matzoh ball.

Scully looked over at Arcane concernedly. "Are you all right?" He was ghostly pale and trembling.

Arcane nodded with a pained swallow and shuddered. "I... had a bad experience with chicken soup as a child." He shot her a quick glance. "I don't want to talk about it."

"All right." She helped him up and they limped out of the canteen, directionless and dazed, and accidentally burst into an exam room.

The person on the exam bed/table stared up at the doctor in shock. "Arcane?!"

Arcane choked. "Sheriff Andrews?!"

Scully was paralyzed, transfixed with pure, steely horror. Cold sweat dripped from between her shoulder blades and down her back. This... this was Monstrosity. She was a pathologist; she worked on the X-Files, for Christ's sakes! She had seen things more gruesome and bizarre than most interns at Rush Limbaugh's HQ. But this made her blood run cold. She felt her gorge begin to rise, and the soft strains of incoherent, comforting music rise to her lips uncontrollably. "Oh solo mio, lalala la la..."

Scully was numb. She barely felt it as Arcane put his hands on her shoulders and guided her gently out of the hospital. "Away," he soothed. "Away from this place of horrors." He himself seemed very shaken.

The special agent regained her composure quickly. "I'm sorry about... that," she said, trying valliantly to hide her embarrassment.

"Think nothing of it," Arcane assured. "I've heard plenty of Italian music in my day, and I promise it doesn't bother me." He was lying through his teeth. She was the worst singer he had ever heard, and he had heard some lousy singers; his mind immediately flitted away from last New Year's Eve, when Graham over-did it with the champagne and then started tuning his kazoo. Arcane shuddered. He had enough wretched mental images to last himself a lifetime, he was sure of it.

Scully squinted out into the night. "I thought that all the restaurants were closed." She was gesturing to a tiny coffee shop a little ways down the street.

Technically, it was. But so many people with exploded car batteries were ducking into any place they could find, tricking themselves into thinking it was a respite from the explosions, and the restaurant owners couldn't resist business, so the whole point was rather moot. The two walked in. After what they had just been through, it couldn't hurt.

Arcane took a frazzled waitress aside, as Scully looked around clinically out of force of habit. The place was absolutely packed. "A lonely table, if you can manage it," Arcane hissed. "You know what I mean."

"For your date, Mister?" the waitress said a little too loudly, snapping her gum. "Sure, we got a nice table in the back."

"Somewhat romantic, I'm hoping?" he prompted, adding in a lower mutter to himself, "Or is that too much to ask?" Most likely, with the day he was having.

The waitress popped a large pink Bubble Yum-ish bubble. "We got a table near the kitchen where you can smell the fish, if that's whatcha mean. Floor's a little greasy today, though, ya know, 'cause of all the explosions, 'specially when Toby--"

Arcane stopped her with a hand, shuddering. He really didn't want to know. "Yes, wonderful, that would be fine. Lead on."

The waitress did so, and Arcane and Scully seated themselves, Scully sitting with her back to the window and the doctor sitting opposite her. At least they would be having dinner after all. She resisted the urge to put her forehead in her hands as he ordered the wine. For someone so secretive, he's awfully transparent, she thought to herself. The waitress placed the pathetic, smouldering remains of an incense candle on the table to assist the mood. "It's scented," she whispered loudly to Arcane.

Arcane choked. So did Scully. "I can see that," he coughed. "Could you get it out of here?" But the waitress was gone. He grimaced. Memo to myself: Have waitress fired.

Scully steepled her fingers, still preoccupied enough with the strange events in the country to be able to block out the smell of that horrid candle. "So, Doctor, when did these... occurances... start happening?" She was studiously staying on topic. She did not want to talk about the recent events at the hospital. At all .

"This morning, if I'm not mistaken," he replied helpfully with one of his patented smiles, tacitly agreeing with her look to eschew talk of their recent experience at the canteen. "But, if we may, I'd rather hear a little bit more about you." Before she could even roll her eyes, he added, his face taking on that innocent-as-a-newborn-puppy look, "I mean, for all I know, you could be a cleverly disguised assassin, stalking me down."

Hmmmmmm... "Do you have many enemies, Doctor?"

"Don't we all?" He smiled again. "No doubt a withered, cryptic old man in an immaculately pressed suit is leaning against the wall, stalking us both while smoking a ciggarette."

Scully tried not to flinch. She turned the subject quickly. "I thought this conversation was going to be all business, Doctor."

The wine came, and Arcane poured it graciously. "Well, all work and no play makes Jack a dull--" He stopped, staring out the window past her, shock slowly stealing over his facial features.

Scully didn't get it. "Boy?" she prompted.

Arcane shook his head, and coughed. "Excuse me," he muttered hurriedly.

Scully's eyes followed him on the way out. "What an odd guy," she murmured.

Arcane stormed up to the place outside the window where he had been staring, seething mad. "Well, if it isn't the Houma Voyeur," he sneered, his teeth starting to set in a growl. "Holland!! What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?! Don't you have anything better to do than spy on me while I'm engaged in dinner conversation with a beautiful woman?!"

Alec Holland had just broken away from Tressa. As soon as she got that look in her eyes again, he hightailed it outta there like nobody's business. "I was not spying," Alec stated indignantly, feeling frumpled. "I was observing, and it would do you good to notice the difference. I'm unwilling to let any further innocents be harmed by you, Arcane, especially with the occurances that have taken place recently."

"Well, then you should have observed that I wasn't doing anything. Go spy on someone else dangerous!!"

"I was NOT spying," Alec repeated, rumbling.

"Yes, you were."

"I was not spying on you, Arcane."

Arcane wrung his hands. "You were standing completely upright in bushes half your size with your nose pressed up to the glass!!!"

Alec flushed a brilliant green. "Uh... I was not."

Before further bickering could commence, there was the bright white flash of an explosion and the ground opened up between them.

Alec pushed himself up wearily, brushing the pebbles off of him. Arcane was behaving similarly, albeit with lots of swearing, and gratuitous use of the word "bloody", "dammit" and(occasionally) "frickafrack". Dammit. How come whenever he got trapped in a cave, it had to be with Arcane? No, of course he could never be trapped in a cave with Dr. Fisk, oh, no sirree Bob. Of course not. No, it had to be Arcane. Always with Arcane. He just couldn't stand it.

They both just sat there in silence for a little while, sulking like surly children, until Arcane broke the quiet. As usual . Alec sure wasn't surprised in the least.

The doctor was fidgeting and playing with his sleeve cuff. Now that his date had been broken twice and his mood ruined, it was straight business. "You know Alec... if this situation plays out similarily to the last time this happened to us... we may not have any means of getting food." He fidgeted even more, and then looked up. "So... if it comes down to one of us eating the other to survive..."

Alec blinked at that. "What ? "

"You know, it will be me eating you, right? Because, you see, my intellect allows me to contribute so very much more to humanity, it would be the more prudent choice to keep me alive."

"What ?!?!!"

"And well, you see, after a short while, the hallucinations that will ensue from hunger will probably drive each of us to gobble the other down eventually. I mean, you may start looking like a rather large steak after a few hours."

"WHAT ?!!!"

"Fine then, a salad."

Alec harrumphed. "That isn't what I meant, Arcane. You're talking insanity. That isn't going to happen... to either of us. There will be no eating of one another. We are both still exposed to sunlight within this pit. When the sun rises tomorrow, I will be able to gain energy and get us out of here. Neither of us are going to hallucinate. It is not going to happen ."

It was five hours later and Arcane was gazing at Alec longingly. "What a lovely roast beef," he sighed aloud. "And all for me? Why thank you. How gracious."

Alec awoke to Arcane gnawing on his arm. He shoved him away roughly. "What the-- Get off me!!"

Arcane giggled. "Why, you're a frisky roast beef, aren't you?" He lunged forward again like a ravenous Doberman Pinscer.

Alec scuttled backwards and resisted the urge to kill him. "Get away from me, Arcane."

Arcane laughed again, his eyes wild. "Don't try to fool me, you naughty roast beef! You forgot that you're dealing with Anton Arcane! You can't hide from me! I'll get you yet!" He pulled out a spork.

Okay, it was time to stop this NOW. "Stop it, Arcane! Get ahold of yourself." He smacked the doctor upside the head. Ohhhh, but that felt good. He'd been wanting to do that for the longest time.

Arcane shook himself out and dropped the spork. He looked at himself, Holland, and then back at himself, shuddering. "My God. I can't believe I was about to willingly touch you with my teeth."

Alec smacked him again.

Arcane glared. "HOLLAND! I'm better now."

"Sorry," Alec mumbled, not meaning a word of it.

Arcane growled. He missed breakfast, he slept through lunch, and now this. Not even a measly dinner. Well, this just spanked the monkey, now didn't it? He ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't going to last 'till six AM, and who knew what would happen to his Eggs Benedict by the time he got home? He turned to Alec. "All right, Holland. How about I stand on your shoulders, and we'll see if I can get to the top of this pit." He didn't add anything about getting Alec out, of course. If Arcane could get himself out and then leave Holland in the pit to rot all night, well, that was an added bonus.

"The pit is too big," Alec negated. "What you say is impossible."

"Well thank you very much, Mister Gloom and Doom," Arcane retorted. "At least I'm suggesting an idea."

Alec conceded, grudgingly so. "Fine." There was a few minutes of undignified jostling and clambering until Arcane finally stood shakily on Alec's shoulders. "Dammit Holland, can't you stand any steadier than this?" he hissed, trying to find some sort of handhold in the wall of dirt.

"No," Alec grumbled. "For being so skinny, you weigh an awful lot," he couldn't help but add, groaning as he was under the weight.

Memo to myself: Poke Holland with spork. "You're no swamp flower yourself," the doctor retorted, still straining to reach the edge of the pit.

"Can you reach the edge?"

Arcane tried, pulling himself up as much as he could and squinting. An excited cry reached Alec. "Yes! YES! Ha ha! I've reached the edge! I've almost got it! I--"

There was a muffled cry and a terrible CRASH. Three figures lay stacked on top of eachother like pancakes in an unmannerly heap.

"Graham, you have five seconds to make this very, very good," Arcane snarled.

The lab assistant would have fidgeted and shifted his weight uncomfortably from one foot to another, but in this position, it really was impossible. "Well, Dr. Arcane, I had this bad feeling, and I was worried that maybe something bad happened to you, and then there was another explosion outside, so I went to find you, and..." He shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "Well?"

"Graham, you blithering --OOFF!!!"

"OW!" Graham yelled.

"My spine," Alec moaned.

Scully was not having fun. "I assume this is the result of another explosion?" she asked after overcoming the shock of falling down a huge hole. She should never have gone looking for Arcane, but her curiosity and partial concern had overtaken her.

"Unhhhhh," Alec replied, which meant "Yes". He suddenly felt yet another pressure against his spine.

"So this is where you are, Alec," Tressa sighed, having just become the fifth person in the stack. "I was looking everywhere for you and Will, I had to tell you both something important --" She suddenly heard footsteps near the top of the pit and strained her neck around painfully. "Will?! WILL!!!!"

Will looked up. "Huh?" However his feet kept going and he slipped.

"Will!"

"Ow!"

"AUGH!"

"...Mumsey..."

"Uggghhnnnnn."

Will blinked and opened his eyes, smiling cheerfully. "Well, good thing all these people were here to cushion my fall!" He peeked down to the bottom of the pile. "Alec, is that you?"

"Will?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."