Melissa returned to her apartment to find Hudson and the Goddess watching television. (big surprise!)
GC: Is this McBeal woman a goddess?
HL: No.
GC: But she just got shot by three arrows and it didn't even phase her.
HL: It was her thoughts.
GC: She willed it?
HL: No, she felt like she was being shot by 3 arrows, but really she wasn't.
GC: Yeah I hate that heartburn too.
HL: No not heartburn. Heart ache.
GC: (blank stare) No Hudson, I'm pretty sure it's heartburn. Bard! Bring me a package of TUMS.
HL: No, no not indigestion...heart ache, it's like love sick.
GC: Yeah that makes me sick too.
HL: (blanks stare)
GC: Hey Bard, I told you to get me some TUMS!
MM: Here Goddess. (gives her a package of TUMS)
GC: These are not TUMS. They're all chalky. (spits it out)
MM: (wiping half chewed TUMS from her glasses, wondering if Erin would be interested in a little trade, what with her interest in Goddess spittle) That's what TUMS are like Goddess.
GC: Not the kind Matt gave me, they were hard and had little holes in the middle.
MM: Lifesavers?
GC: Well they were good but I don't know that I would go that far.
MM: (blank stare) What I mean is, I think Matt gave you Lifesavers. It's a type of candy.
GC: (blank stare) What's the matter with you bard?
MM: (opens her mouth to speak, thinks better of it)
GC: Anyway don't you have some packing to do.
MM: Yes, that reminds me. You need to go see Matt, he has something for you.
GC: First I don't NEED to do anything. Second, what could Mallboy have that I would possibly be interested in?
MM: One word: Cinnabon.
GC: I'm there! (vanishes)
MM: So Hudson, want to help me pack?
HL: (blank stare)
MM: I didn't think so. (wonders upstairs muttering to herself)
It occurred to Melissa that this would be the perfect opportunity to play a little joke on the actress. Let's see, she thought, what shall I pack for her? Oops darn, dropped her toothbrush in the toilet. Oh well, I'll just shake it off and presto! Good as new. At this point the bard broke into a little jig while singing (if you could call it that) Viva Las Vegas.
Anyway to be quite frank (or Kathy Lee if you prefer, knee slap, oh boy were so darn punny we crack ourselves up sometimes), we couldn't take it anymore. Let's go check in with the Goddess and Matt and the Kindling Gate Mall.
Get your own Free Home Page