Hudson and the Goddess were the first to board the plane, Trancer followed. Melissa lagged behind. Ok, in all fairness she was a bit preoccupied trying to drag the suitcase across the tarmac. Not an easy task, what with it bouncing all over the place.
MM: You couldn't have left the disco pants at home?
Luggage: What? I can't hear you.
Upon entering the plane Hudson announced that she had only been able to obtain 3 first class tickets so somebody would have to sit in coach.
GC: Well obviously...
MM: (blurts out) We could draw straws for the seats...
GC: (blank stare)
MM: ...It would only be fair.
GC: (sometimes the Bard's logic was beyond comprehension.) ...well obviously, Hudson and I will take these two seats. You and Trancer can fight it out for the remaining one.
Luggage: (Woo-hoo!)
Trancer & MM: (simultaneously kick the luggage - watch it triplet!)
GC: What did I say about the telepathy? Hmmm?
TR, MM & Luggage: Sorry Goddess.
There was never any question really about who would be sitting in coach. Once Trancer put the bard in one of them Alaskan snow ninja gi joe kung-fu grips it was all over.
HL: (Hands Callisto a C-note)
GC: You never learn.
Melissa begrudgingly drug the luggage to the back of the plane. She had a heck of a time trying to lift it up into the overhead compartment. Twice the bard got it to shoulder height before she was overtaken by the weight and forced into a crumpled heap on the floor, suitcase resting comfortably on top of her. Three times a flight attendant simply passed by without offering to help. And four times, Mallboy laughed out loud forcing Melissa to cover the noise with her own hysterical, rapidly growing maniacal, laughter.
HL: Stewardess.
Stew: Yes?
HL: Could you please close the curtain? The people back in coach are starting to annoy me.
Stew: Sure Ms Leick. (closes curtain, peaks head into coach) Hey! Pipe down back here, this is a plane not a flea circus!
As the plane began to move toward the runway the flight attendants began to explain the emergency procedures in case of a crash landing or loss of pressure in the cabin. Naturally nobody was listening.
Stew: Miss. You are going to have to fasten your seat belt.
GC: (Looking out the window, thinking: I wonder what would happen if I blew up that truck over there?)
Stew: Miss?
GC: (I'll bet it would cause a real...wait, is that woman addressing me?)
Stew: Miss.
GC: Goddess.
Stew: Whatever. But you are going to have to....
(((ZAP)))
Back in coach the stench of crisped flight attendant filled the air.
Generic passenger: Man, those guys in first class have all the fun.
MM: (moron)
Luggage: Woo-hoo! (hey, are these Hudson's shoes I'm locked in here with?)
MM & Trancer: (you should live so long to be locked up with Hudson's shoes)
GC: Knock it off, you two. Matt is still in Cirra. Stop trying to contact him.
As it turned out coach wasn't so bad, the seats on either side of Melissa were empty, allowing the bard to stretch out a bit. Peace at last.
Meanwhile up in first class...
Stew: Peanuts?
GC: Yeah I love them. They're so darn cute. Especially that Charley Brown.
Stew: (blank stare) No, I mean would you like some peanuts?
GC: (blank stare)
Stew: (rolls her eyes, tosses little packets of peanuts at Callisto)
GC: What the... (instinctively bats the projectiles away)
Stew: (ignores the strange passenger and tosses a couple bags of nuts at HL and TR)
GC: (intercepts the bags, and hurls them back at the flight attendant)
Stew: (rubbing the back of her head, wanders off muttering to herself ‘damn Cirrans')
GC: SWEET MOTHER OF ZEUS! She's going after my bard! (vanishes)
back in coach.....
MM: (Mmmmmm Peanuts.) Yes I would love some.
At this point the flight attendant really earned her title as the Goddess flung herself through the air at the stewardess, knocking her to the ground in a full body tackle.
GC: (jumps up) No need to thank me bard. (vanishes)
MM: (blank stare) (sigh)
back in first class....
GC: That was a close one.
Trancer: (busy memorizing a list of Nevada Alien Hot spots she had found on the Internet)
HL: (busy reading in-flight literature, tv guide, movie schedules, radio selections, etc.)
GC: I said, that was a close one.
HL & Trancer: Mmm-hmm.
HL: (tries not to wince when she sees the in-flight movie selection - Fire starter)
GC: Hey what's this?
HL: (peaking up from the magazine) Phone.
GC: (to HL) do you still have Melissa's credit card?
Back in coach....
MM: (cell phone rings) Hello?
GC: Bard, what is the movie back there?
MM: Um, I dunno, I wanted to take a nap. Coach isn't too bad. There is an empty...
(poof)
GC: Hi Bard
MM: ...seat on either side. Hi goddess.
GC: (still on phone) wow, this phone sure is cold.
MM: (still on phone, looking at GC like "why am I doing this?") you mean "cool".
GC: So, what's the movie?
MM: some bad film from the 80's. the star is a frequent consumer of intoxicants.
Luggage: (good move twin!)
GC: Trancer! Stop telepathing!
(((Time passes)))
GC: (Looking out the window, thinking: I wonder what would happen if I spit from up here?) (Spits on the window.) ::Blush:: (It's ok Callisto I don't think anyone saw. Just be calm, you're cool.)
MM: (It's ok Melissa just pretend like you didn't see that, struggling not to LOL)
GC: (Anyway, this thing should be convertible...)
MM: No it shouldn't.
GC: (blank stare) How did you do that?
MM: do what?
Luggage: (naw, the heels are too long, these *have* to be Hudson's shoes)
TR, MM & HL: (Shut up!)
GC: Stop that.
(((more time passes)))
The group had to switch planes in New York. Miraculously all went smoothly except for one tiny little detail....
MM: SWEET MOTHER OF CALLISTO!
GC, TR, & HL: What?
MM: I forgot the luggage.
GC, TR, & HL: (blank stare)
Trancer: don't you think you may be over reacting just a bit Melissa
MM: Noooo.
Trancer: (sheesh, and I thought Matt was the .... DoH!) (eyes widen)
MM: Yes, that's right.
Trancer: We got to go back for it!
HL: Settle down Trancer. There's nothing in that bag that we can't replace with plastic (produces credit card).
MM & Trancer: (didn't know whether to laugh or cry) (poor Matt)
GC: Matt?
MM & Trancer: Poor luggage.
GC & HL: (Gods these two got stranger by the minute.)
On the flight between New York and Nevada the motley crew all sat together in first class. Things were going pretty smoothly until Trancer started to sing. Yes, we said sing. Sometimes she was worse than one of them whos down in whoville.
Trancer: Bright light city gonna set my soul / Gonna set my soul on fire
MM: Stop it.
Trancer: Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn, / So get those stakes up higher
GC: For once, listen to the bard.
Trancer: There's a thousand pretty women waitin' out there / And they're all livin' devil may care / And I'm just the devil with love to spare / Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas
Pilot: (over PA system) Would the passenger in seat 36B please cease your singing. I'll put this thing nose first into the Rockies if I have to.
Trancer: (louder) How I wish that there were more / Than the twenty-four hours in the day
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