ER: Doug and Carol Series

Story #38 continued

Hearts and Thoughts

by: Courtney

At 11:30 the bell rings to signal the end of third period and Charlie gathers her things quickly to make her way across the school to French class. She's halfway down the hall when she hears her name called behind her. "Charlie, wait up!" She turns to see Josh approaching. She stops to wait for him.

"Hey," he says as he catches up to her. He kisses her cheek quickly and takes her books from her hands. "How's your day going? I haven't seen you since right after homeroom."

"Fine. Sorry I didn't meet you after second, I had to help my friend find his class. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, my friend Bax from Cleveland . . ."

Josh stops her. "Michelle already told me."

"Oh, okay. Well, anyway, he's taking French and he's in our class this period so you can meet him." Josh smiles at her but when she looks away his expression is less than thrilled.

They walk into Madame Haynes fourth period class to find Michelle and Bax already sitting down talking. Josh puts both of their books on his desk and Charlie takes his hand to lead him across the room towards Michelle's desk. "Hey guys," Charlie smiles as they approach.

Bax and Michelle look up from their conversation. "Hey girl," he says as she walks over. He flashes her a bright smile. Josh notices this but says nothing. "Bax, I'd like you to meet someone." She pulls Josh over to where they are standing. "This is my boyfriend, Josh Moreland. Josh, this is Lawrence Baxter, Bax."

Josh and Bax shake hands. "Good to meet you, Josh," Bax says.

"Yeah, you too," Josh says and tries to smile.

"So, Charlie was telling me you're a track star?"

"I don't know about star, but I'm on the team," Josh replies.

"Don't listen to him. He's the faster one on the team," Charlie replies. She looks at Josh and says, "Bax is a runner, too."

"Really? You thinking of going out for the team next season?" Josh asks.

Bax shrugs, "Maybe, depends if it interferes with basketball. I'd rather shoot hoops if I have to choose."

"Same here," Josh grins. "But hey, don't worry. I do both so I'm sure the schedules don't conflict. Listen, I'll introduce you to some of the other guys. We get together on the weekends sometimes during the off season to do some practicing. Maybe you can join us for a game sometime."

"Yeah, that'd be great. I'd really appreciate it, man."

Charlie stops listening as the two guys continue to talk sports. She releases Josh's hand and walks over to sit on the other side of Michelle. Josh and Bax are too caught up in comparing sporting injury stories to hear a word the girls are saying. "What were you guys talking about before we came in?" Charlie whispers.

Michelle smiles, "Oh, you know, stuff."

"Stuff huh? Well, it's probably not the kind of stuff Jeremy would like to know you talk about with other guys," Charlie comments with a sly grin and a knowing look.

"Screw Jeremy," Michelle says. "I'm still pissed at him anyway. I told you what Miranda told me didn't I?"

"Miranda? No, I don't think so. What happened?" Charlie asks.

"Well, she said . . ." Michelle is cut off by the sound of the bell ringing. "I'll tell you later," she says. Charlie nods and gets up to return to her seat.

Madame Haynes stands in front of the class and waits a moment for everyone to settle into their seats. "Bonjour class," she says. A muffled chorus of 'Bonjour Madame' is heard from the student. "Class, we have a new student with us today. Il appelle Lawrence Baxter. Bienvenu Monsieur Baxter," she says.

"Thank you Madame," Bax says.

"C'est merci Monsieur et de rien," Mme Haynes responds. Bax smiles and nods even though he is not certain what she has said. It doesn't really matter though. Half of the class looks as lost as him. The teacher just returns his smile then proceeds to begin the lesson. "Turnez a la page soixante . . ." There is a rattle of pages as the students find the page and then the lesson begins.

This half-hour before lunch seems to be the longest part of the class. Finally, Mme Haynes announces they may break for lunch and no one has to be told twice. The students all begin making a mad dash to the door. "Mademoiselle Chimengo?" Mme Haynes calls.

Charlie turns around. "Yes ma'am?"

"Can I speak to you for a moment please?"

"Uh, sure," Charlie says as she wonders what this could be about. She looks at Michelle, Josh, and Bax who are all standing there with her, preparing to leave for lunch.

"We'll wait outside," Josh tells her and Charlie nods then proceeds over to the teacher's desk.

"Charlie, I noticed you already know Mr. Baxter, is that right?" she asks.

"Yes ma'am. We grew up together in Cleveland," Charlie smiles.

"Wonderful, that's nice that he already has a friendly face to look to," she smiles. "Well, the reason I wanted to see you was to ask if you would mind being his lab partner? We had an even number of students but now he seems to be the odd man out."

"What about Josh?" Charlie asks quickly.

"Oh, you will still be his partner, too. I thought that perhaps the three of you could be a team. Would that be alright? I know it's a lot harder to work with three instead of two, but I thought since you already know him . . ."

"No, that's fine," she responds. "We'd be glad to let Bax join our group."

"Great, thank you Charlie. Okay, I don't want to hold up your lunch any longer. You can go now." Charlie smiles at Mme Haynes and goes out into the hall to join her friends.

She exits the room to find only Josh waiting. "Where'd Michelle and Bax go?" she asks him.

"They went ahead into the cafeteria. They said they'd save us a seat," he explains. He takes her hand and they begin to walk down the hall together. "So, what was that all about?" he asks as he motions back towards the classroom behind them.

"Oh, she wanted to ask if I would mind being lab partners with both you and Bax. I told her sure. You don't mind that, do you?"

"No, not at all. He's a really nice guy," Josh says.

Charlie smiles. "I'm glad you think so," she says. "Bax is the closest thing I ever had to a brother. Back in Cleveland he used to watch out for me. That's probably the only thing I regretted about running away to Chicago, I didn't have anyone to look out for me anymore." She looks up at Josh, "Well, until I met you that is," she smiles.

They continue into the cafeteria where they quickly get their lunches and find the table where Michelle and Bax are waiting for them. They all spend lunch talking and getting to know one another. Charlie notices the looks between Michelle and Bax but decides to wait until later to discuss it with either of them. For now, she's just glad all of her friends seem to get along so well.

Susan Lewis walks into the ER at two minutes till noon. She's supposed to meet Carol for lunch. She gets barely a foot in the door when half of the staff yells, "Surprise!" Susan looks startled for a second then smiles the big, toothy grin they all remember so well. She glances up at the huge banner hanging from the ceiling that reads 'Welcome Back Susan!' in enormous blue letters. "You guys . . . you didn't have to do this," she says.

Everyone smiles and begins coming over to greet Susan. When Carol finally comes up to hug her, Susan says in her ear, "I know you were behind this. Just remember, I know when your birthday is and paybacks are hell."

Carol smiles as they part. "I wouldn't worry about it, Doug will beat you to it for sure anyway," she laughs.

"This is true," Susan says with a chuckle. Someone turns on a radio and music fills the ER. The day has gone from slow to positively dead and right now there is not a single patient. The staff takes advantage of the slow day and the reason to celebrate and everyone has a great time.

About halfway through the party, Susan notices Mark standing off to the side. He sees her glance at him and quickly looks away. She decides not to let this go on any longer, they have to talk. So, Susan takes a deep breath and walks over to him. "Mark, how's it going?" she asks.

He sips the cup of punch in his hand. "Not bad. Are you having a good time?"

She smiles, "Yeah, I am. Thanks for this. I know everybody went to a lot of trouble."

"Well, I can't take much credit. They had most of it already done by the time I got here."

She tries to think of something to say to keep the conversation afloat. Mark isn't really helping matters by being to quiet. "Um, would you like to dance?" she hears herself say. She wasn't thinking that and it surprises her when she hears the words.

"Uh . . ." Mark looks around the room. Several couples are in the middle of the floor dancing to song on the radio. The song playing is 'I Want To Hold Your Hand' by the Beatles. Doug and Carol are dancing and laughing and Doug is crooning part of the song to Carol. He's off-key which makes Carol laugh out loud.

Doug sings, "Oh please, say to me, you'll let me be your man and please, say to me you'll let me hold your hand. Now let me hold your hand, I wanna hold your hand," and takes Carol's hand then spins her around. She lands in his arms and they both laugh uncontrollably.

Mark can't help but smile at the two. He looks back at Susan and finally says, "Yeah, sure."

She smiles and they both set their punch aside and move onto the floor. The song changes from the Beatles to one by Leann Rimes. It's called 'On The Side of Angels' and the beat of this one is much slower than the last. The words begin to trickle in:

"I've never been so certain,

I've never been so sure,

We're on the side of angels,

If we believe this love is pure . . ."

Doug and Carol move close together, wrapping their arms around each other. Carol's head rests on Doug's shoulder and they both close their eyes and sway in time to the slow beat of the love song. Mark's face turns bright red but he puts his arms around Susan and begins to dance. Still though, there is a good three inches between them as they dance. More of the song can be heard around them:

"Is it so hard to trust it,

Cause we've been wrong before,

There comes a time in every life,

We find the heart we're waiting for . . ."

Susan senses Mark's discomfort and tries to loosen him up a little with some conversation. "So, how are the wedding plans coming?" she asks.

"Uh, fine. I mean, good I guess. Nina's doing most of the work really," he says.

Susan nods and they fall silent for another moment. "Nina seems really nice. I hope she and I can get to know each other," Susan says.

Mark nods rather nervously but doesn't say anything. Susan can sense he's uncomfortable. "What's bothering you?" she asks.

"Nothing, nothing's bothering me," he says quickly.

She looks at him questioningly and starts to say something, then stops. Should she? Should she ask him what she really wants to ask? Finally, she decides to just bite the bullet and ask, deciding that whatever the answer is she has to know. "Mark, are you still angry with me about that day at the train station?" she asks quietly.

Mark looks at her, very obviously surprised by this question. "I . . . Susan . . ." he stutters as he looks for an answer.

"Wait, don't answer. Never mind, forget I asked. I guess it's really not my business. And if you are mad . . . well, I guess I deserve at least that much." She looks down, not wanting to meet his eyes.

Mark sees the look on her face and feels instantly guilty. "Susan . . ." he says softly as he touches her chin lightly and gently eases her face up so that their eyes meet once more. "I'm sorry . . . I'm not mad at you. I really never was. I was . . . I was more heart broken than anything else," he admits.

Susan bites her lower lip. "I really am sorry I left you like that Mark. It ended up being the biggest mistake I've ever made."

Mark looks in her eyes and he knows she isn't just saying these things. He can see that she is completely sincere. He feels his heart fall as he realizes that, now that the love of his life finally wants him, his heart belongs to someone else.

As if on cue, Nina walks into the ER. She sees Susan and Mark dancing in the center of the room. But this is not what bothers her about the scene before her. It's the look she sees passing between her fiancé and this woman she knows he once loved. Nina just stares at them. Mark looks up and sees her. He automatically releases Susan from the embrace they have held during their dance. She looks in the direction his eyes have been drawn and sees Nina.

"Nina!" Mark calls and waves her over. Nina hesitates, then proceeds towards the two. "Hey, what are you doing here honey?" he asks.

"Um, Jill and I got finished with the fittings earlier than we expected and I thought I'd see if you felt like going up to get some lunch," she explains. Her eyes keep wandering back to Susan who stands by silently and smiles at her.

"Nina, you know Susan Lewis, right?" he says, even though he has told Nina about her so he knows she remembers her.

"Yes, of course," she says smiling. She looks up at the sign above them that reads 'Welcome Back Susan' and says, "I didn't realize you were back in Chicago, Susan."

"Yeah, I've been back for almost a month now," Susan says with a smile.

"Oh?" Nina tries to hide her surprise. She doesn't want to let Susan see how much it bothers her that Mark hasn't even mentioned any of this to her. "Well, that's wonderful. I'm sure County will be glad to have you back," she smiles.

"Actually, I'm going to be working at Mercy now," Susan tells her.

"Really? Well, I'm sure we'll still see a lot of you," Nina comments. "Oh, I'm sure Mark told you about the wedding, right?"

"Yes, of course," Susan smiles. "I'm very happy for you both."

"You have to come to the wedding," Nina says.

"Oh, I don't know . . ." Susan says, shaking her head slightly.

"No, no, I insist. I know you and Mark were always good friends. I would love for you to come," Nina says.

Susan still looks hesitant, but says, "Well, okay, sure. I'd love to. Thank you."

Nina smiles and nods. She looks to Mark, "Well, I'm just going to go catch up on some paperwork. I'll let you all get back to the party." She turns to go.

"Nina, wait . . ." he says after her but she is already on her way to the elevators. He turns to Susan, "I'm sorry . . ."

"No, you go ahead. I understand," Susan says. She smiles, a smile which she manages to hold onto until he is out of sight. As soon as he disappears up the stairs though her face falls. Softly, to herself, she says, "It was the biggest mistake I ever made, Mark. I wish I'd known what I was letting go of that day."

Mark reaches the psych floor after Nina has already made it to her office. He knocks softly on the door. "Nina? Honey, can I come in?" he calls quietly through the door. She doesn't answer but he hears the lock in the door click. He opens the door to find her sitting on the couch with her knees drawn up to her chest. She doesn't turn his way when he enters, but keeps her gaze focused on the window across from her.

"Are you mad at me?" he asks as he sits down beside her.

"Mad? Why should I be mad, Mark?" she asks.

He puts his hand on her shoulder but she shrugs it off. "I'm sorry . . ."

"For what? For not telling me the love of your life had come back to town? Or is it that you're sorry you still love her? What is it Mark?"

"Nina, you know that's not true . . ." he begins.

Finally, Nina turns to look at him. "Do I? How do I know that Mark? How in the hell am I supposed to know anything when you seem to be hiding everything from me lately?" she yells.

"I wasn't trying to hide anything . . ."

"Then why didn't you tell me she was back?" she asks. Her voice carries more hurt than anger now.

"I . . ." Mark sighs and looks down. Nina watches him, waiting for an answer. "I just didn't think this was the best thing to tell you right before the wedding. I'm sorry, I know I should have, but . . . I just didn't want to give you anything else to worry about."

"Why Mark? Do I have something to worry about?" she asks. Her voice grows quiet as she looks deep into his eyes. "Do you still love her?"

Mark looks back into Nina's dark, brown eyes. They are the color of chocolate. He sees the tears beneath them and hates himself for putting them there. He's really not sure how he feels about Susan but he knows he can't break Nina's heart. He loves Nina and he knows what it's like to have your heart broken by someone you love. He could never do that to her. "No," he says simply.

She continues to stare at him a moment, as if she's trying to gage his sincerity. Finally, she seems to decide he's telling her the truth. The hidden tears spill onto her cheeks. She wraps her arms around him. "I love you," she whispers in his ear.

He swallows hard and holds her close. His eyes squeeze shut as he hopes that he hasn't lied to Nina. He just wants to be happy and make her happy. That's all he needs, right? Mark nods slightly, trying to convince himself that he's right.

It's about 3:30 that afternoon as Charlie and Bax make their way from the bus stop to the ER of Cook County General. "Trust me, you'll love Doug and Carol. They're great," she's telling him.

"I'm sure they are," he smiles. "You know, you seem so much happier than you ever did in Cleveland. After you left I was really worried about you. I was afraid of what would happen to you while you were on your own."

Charlie looks at Bax. He was always her protector when they were kids. No matter how bad her home life was, she always knew she could turn to him. "It wasn't easy without you," she admits.

He sees the look on her face and takes her arm to stop her. "What aren't you telling me?" he asks. Charlie looks away, knowing he knows her too well for her to risk letting her eyes give away her secrets. "Charlie, you know you can tell me anything, right?" he asks.

She nods. "Yeah, I always could." She smiles slightly. "You're right, there's a lot of stuff I haven't told you. I just don't think now is the best time to talk about it."

"Well, you know if you ever need to talk I'm always here to listen, right?"

"Yeah," she smiles. "I could never forget that, Bax."

He returns the smile and puts his arm around her as they continue walking. "What did I do for the past few years in Cleveland without my best bud, huh?" he asks.

They continue into the ER and Charlie spots John Carter coming out of an exam room. "John!" she calls. He turns to smile as she walks over.

"Hey Charlie, how's it going?" he asks.

"Great," she grins. "I'd like you to meet my friend. John Carter, this is my friend Bax. He's from Cleveland. We grew up not far from each other. He just moved to Chicago."

Carter extends his hand to Bax. "Nice to meet you," he smiles. "Any friend of Charlie's . . ."

"Yeah, nice meeting you, too," Bax says with a smile.

"Have you seen Doug or Carol?" Charlie asks Carter.

"Uh, last I saw Doug he was on his way up to get some labs. I think Carol's restocking the supply closet."

"Thanks, we'll see you later, John. Maybe if you're up for it we could shoot some hoops?"

John smiles, "Sure, you guys find me."

"Okay, cool," Charlie replies and she and Bax head off to find Carol. They find her in the supply closet with an armful of cotton swabs. "Hey Carol," Charlie greets her.

Carol turns to them and smiles, "Hey, what's up? I didn't expect to see you here today."

"Well, I had someone to introduce you to," Charlie explains. She motions to Bax. He steps forward and smiles at Carol. Charlie explains who he is and Carol replies that she is very pleased to meet him. "Where's Doug, do you know? I wanted Bax to meet him, too."

"I think he was going after some tests he sent up this morning. He might be back though. I know he had a lot of charts to catch up on, why don't you check the lounge?"

"Okay, great. We'll see you later Carol," Charlie says and kisses Carol quickly on the cheek.

"Alright, nice meeting you Bax," she calls after them as they head off.

He looks back and says, "You too Ms. Hathaway." He barely has all the words out before Charlie is dragging him off towards the lounge. Carol laughs and turns back to her supplies.

Charlie leads the way into the lounge. There they find the very person they are looking for: Doug Ross. "Doug, hey," Charlie says as they enter.

"Charlie, hey, how's it going?" he smiles as he looks up from the pile of charts before him.

"Great, I want you to meet a friend of mine." She gestures to Bax and makes a quick introduction between the two. "We grew up together in Cleveland. He's staying with his uncle in Chicago and he just started at McKinley today," she explains.

"Well, it's a small world, huh Bax?" Doug says with a smile as he stands to shake Bax's hand.

Bax returns the smile, "Yes sir, it certainly is," he says. "I couldn't have been more surprised to see Charlie at school this morning. She was definitely a sight for sore eyes."

"You two were good friends then?" Doug asks.

"Yeah," Charlie smiles, "Bax was like my brother when we were kids. I was at his house more than my own I think. By the way, Bax, how's Ms. Glady?"

"She's great, feisty as ever," he laughs. "She's coming to stay at Uncle Will's for a few weeks soon. You'll have to come visit her. She'd love seeing you again."

"I'll do that," Charlie says. She turns back to Doug and offers as an explanation, "Miss Glady is Bax's grandmother."

Doug nods. "Well guys, I'd love to chat, but I have to get back to these charts before Kerry Weaver comes after me."

Charlie laughs, "In that case, we're out of here. I don't want her after me for holding you up." Doug grins and waves to them as they leave the lounge.

"Where to now?" Bax asks.

She looks around and sees Carter. He seems pretty busy. "Come on," she says as she pulls Bax towards the admit desk. "Hey Jerry?" she says as they approach.

"Yeah? Oh, hey Charlie, what's up?" he asks as he turns around.

"You still have that basketball back there? We thought maybe we could get in a game while everyone else is busy."

"Sure, here you go," he says as he reaches down and tosses the basketball to her.

"Thanks Jer," she calls as she and Bax head outside to the makeshift basketball court outside the ER where she has shared so many games with Doug and Carter. They start playing one on one and talking.

"So," Bax says as he takes a shot, which swooshes throw the hoop, "tell me about Michelle."

Charlie picks up the rebound and smirks. "What exactly do you want to know?" she asks as she shoots, missing.

"Not exactly Michael Jordan, are you princess?" he says with a laugh.

"Watch it, I'll wipe the court with you," she warns with a playful grin.

He just laughs and dribbles the ball. "So, about Michelle?"

"What about her, Bax? She has a boyfriend you know," she says.

"Yeah, so I hear," he says as he takes another shot that bounces off the backboard and just misses the hoop.

Charlie catches the ball as it bounces her way. "You hear, huh? And who have you been talking to?" she asks with raised eyebrows.

"Charlene, you know a guy has to keep his ear to the ground," he teases with a grin.

She gives him a teasing dirty look and throws the ball at him. "I can see now that I'm going to have to do something about you, Lawrence Baxter," she remarks.

Bax catches the ball against his chest and laughs. They continue their game. They are both so caught up in the wise cracks and hook shots that neither notices Michelle until she calls Charlie's name. "Hey, Michelle . . ." Charlie starts as she turns to her friend, but one look at Michelle's face stops the pleasantries. "Michelle, what's wrong?" she asks.

Michelle has obviously been crying and is trying very hard right now to keep herself from bursting into tears again. "I really need to talk to you," she manages to say to Charlie.

Charlie turns to Bax but she doesn't have to say anything. "Go ahead, I'll catch you in the morning," he says.

"Thanks Bax," she says quietly. "Um, you can stay and shoot hoops if you want. Just give Jerry the ball whenever you finish."

"Yeah, okay, thanks," he replies. Michelle is standing a few feet away and he glances her way. "I hope everything's okay," he says.

"Thanks," Charlie gives him a small smile. "See you later." With that she turns and rejoins Michelle. As the girls walk away, Bax watches after them with a concerned gaze. When they turn the corner and disappear out of sight, he turns back to the goal and sinks another shot.

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Created by Courtney Stovall © 1998

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