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©copyright Chris Rutty
Red Sq & Kremlin Wall

|Adventures in Russia

The Kremlin's Great Hall

By Christopher Rutty

The Kremlin is a very large area surrounded by a very large wall. Inside the walls are many buildings and magnificent churches. It is ironic, following the Bolshevik revolution and the Stalin years; they were never touched when many churches were destroyed. They kept the best to themselves.

  The Russian National Orchestra have become wandering minstrels for hire. They agreed to be the backup musicians for Ray Charles when he performed at the Great Hall inside the Kremlin. They would get no payment and sign no contract. The whole thing was a typical example of the 'new' business mentality that is sweeping Russia since Putin's regressive ideology took control.

We sat where the Soviet Government held its general meetings

   The concert was a farce, but what saved it for me was going into the building -sitting for several hours where the former Soviet government held its general meetings. Over the years we have seen the interior of the building, with the different Presidents from Kruschev, Breshnev, and opponents like Andrei Sakharov, speak. It is enormous inside, seating 6000 -with intercom, and headphones in the rear of each comfortable seat-- the podium has been converted to a stage for performances.
   The image we are familiar with is one with a large hammer and sickle insignia on the rear wall; along with the ribbed, timber walls. It always reminded me of the interior of the United Nations Assembly. --Although, these things are never so large as they appear due to the wide angle lens used to capture the image in the first place. The concert was very tame, it seems Ray Charles is past his 'use by date'. He performed with his own band, and The Raylettes, but even they were very strange, performing one song (Hit the road Jack) and 'Shoo-Wops' on another, then left the stage.

  The concert was about an hour in length, although it started 45 minutes late. We sat though four dubiously talented Russians who accompanied Ray Charles. Russian performers are still living in the 70's, having just discovered glitter and leather pants. Most are still learning to sing as well. The television and radio play a mixture of English pop music and Russian. The Russian music is so bad; it makes the English pop rubbish sound good. [1]
  Although the support acts where not good, I did feel bad for the first singer, who performed a slow blues song, in English. As he left the stage, when the mediocre applause died, some meathead up the back yelled "Koshmar", meaning nightmare. The audience burst into laughter.
   As the fourth act left the stage, someone came out to test a microphone and apparently blew an amplifier? Whatever it was, it stopped the show and the announcer said there will be a 10 min break -unscheduled- Boo's erupted as the enormous curtain closed and the lights came up.

  Even the lead-up to the concert was a farce; Sponsored by a large cigarette brand. The absurdity of it all (the most common noun in Patricia's vocabulary) was the orchestra performed in return for poster advertising. The concert organizer is Russia's premier 'mob' -ster. The enormous poster, similar in size to the ugly eyesores plastered illegally around Sydney, had the word Davidoff taking up most of the width and height of the poster. In small print, at the edges, was Ray Charles and a mass of other text. 
  We were walking to the market a week before the concert, and were accosted by the offensive poster. We had to stop and look hard to find the orchestra's name. The confectionery company Mars is making a big push into the local market and they gave the orchestra US $15, 000 under duress from Patricia who assured them their name would appear on the poster. -On the Friday, the advertising company responsible assured Patricia the Mars logo would be included and it would go to the printer over the weekend. It was the following morning, Saturday, that we saw the posters!

Lies and distortions are the food of the Russian worker. They did it for so long when it was a matter of life and death, and it still permeates the culture. Patricia often says that Russians lie even when there is no need to.

  To sidetrack, with (dis)-respect to cigarettes. There must be a hundred brands on sale. Some as cheap as 2.5 Roubles for 12. The western brands sell for around 30 Rubles, i.e. a little over one US dollar. Twenty-eight Roubles=US$1 . The western brands and some Russian brands, give away cigarettes at the entrance to Metro stations. Tall, slim, apparently good-looking? young girls dressed in the uniform of the brand, will accost you as you leave or enter. They operate in-groups of four. They do this at the Metro because all Russians use it. You don't see them at the tourist spots like Red Square, the Arbat, or Tyerskaya St, probably because the companies realize there is an anti-smoking attitude in Western countries.
  Every male smokes, it is amazing, you can't walk down the street without someone blowing smoke at you. Of course the under 30s female thinks smoking is cool and you often see those ridiculous cigarette holders that Hollywood of the 1940s, suggested sophisticated women use.

  As the crowd was entering the Kremlin Hall, Davidoff had its women toting their brand. It was just an amazing sight. Maybe 10 or 12 thin women dressed in black holding an open packet, with a black evening bag on their arm full of supplies. The real "seeing believes," was that they all looked exactly alike! They had gathered this group of women all over 6 feet 1 inch, and put them in high heels. They were laughable, at about 6' 4", including the long straight dark hair down to their waste, and thin like an underfed catwalk model.
   Ray Charles played with no affection for the audience, he said nothing. He didn't even say "Hello Moscow", as performers usually do to acknowledge being in a foreign country. The emcee could have translated anything he said, his annoying voice burst through the speakers often enough, with stupid comments.
  Apparently, Russians have to be told what is happening, as on TV, before a commercial a sign comes up saying "Reklama", meaning "Advertising". The end came in a suitably unpredictable and unprofessional way. He was playing a song and started to say thank you for coming, still with no recognition that he was in a foreign non-English speaking city.
   As he was mumbling his "yeah, wow, hay" and whatever else, the emcee interrupted him in Russian, while someone backstage pushed the four other performers on stage to take a bow; Then the emcee walked onstage with a bunch of flowers. Ray Charles's personal assistant saw this and rushed out to take the flowers and helped him up from the keyboard, ushering him offstage as the band kept up the slow beat..

   The lights came on to mediocre applause and the curtain closed. There was no final crescendo with the music or great burst of affectionate applause. It was a bizarre experience, and this was Russia's premier concert promoter. It was the worst organized concert I have ever attended. This is just one small example of the unprofessional, and incompetent nature that pervades the 'New Russia'. Patricia says the concert was "Normalna", meaning normal, or 'everything is ok', that is how everything works. The orchestra played well, as always. A good musician will always be a good musician.

  The whole episode is a small microcosm of Russia: from the failure to sign a contract with the promoter; the failure to get the advertising correct, the lies, which meant the sponsors didn't get what they paid for. The concert started 45 minutes late, then 'something' crashed halting the show, and then it closed.
  Another example of how things don't go so 'Normalna'. [2]

  After the concert, Patricia was invited to the American Ambassador's Residence for a private reception for Ray Charles. Patti's friend, the Cultural Attaché John Brown, had organized the reception for about 100 people; including a top Moscow Jazz quartet for entertainment.
© chrysklogw@yahoo.com
©copyright Chris  Rutty
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We left the Kremlin and caught the Metro to the Ambassador's residence, beating Ray Charles's limousine. Patricia was the only person from the orchestra invited, which was a great slap in the face to the bandits, Markov and Frolov: The Executive Director and Administrative Director of the orchestra. It was a unique evening. Ray Charles walked in with his assistant to applause and we all adjourned to the next room where the Jazz band was playing very loud. He sat about 3 meters from the band and started grooving to the music. This went on for about 30 minutes as we all stood a few meters away, in a semi circle. He then moved to the keyboard to jam with the group for probably another 15 minutes. The guests were snapping photos, which I thought would have been restricted. They stopped playing with a crescendo that made his concert pail in comparison. He received a huge applause and walked out of the room, disappearing, presumably to go back to his hotel. We ate to our stomach's delight and drank.
  It was an evening that typified the new Russia; exhilaration and despair.|


[1]: The music (and the society in general) is afraid to go beyond what everyone else is doing. This leaves creativity on the doorstep, along with fresh, imaginative, or dissenting views. You have to see the bad makeup and the abominable fashion on most women to believe it. One intelligent woman I met though a friend-with good fashion sense and the ability to apply makeup-said "we have been denied this things for so long that now we are making up for the loss". This is very true, although it makes you wonder; given the availability of Western magazines like Cosmo, Elle, and many other European magazines, what are these young women seeing in the airbrushed images? Certainly not smeared, over-the-top makeup and 70's glitter? GO BACK
[2]:The orchestra was to open the new Cathedral built by Mayor Lusko; to appease the older generation who feel cheated by the New Russia. The orchestra brought in it's incompetent associate conductor from St. Petersburg, who, in the fine Russian tradition of ' She'll be right', failed to get things finalized. Patricia, as usual, was warning people about potential problems. She was told that her attitude of 'Western professionalism' was due to her not understanding Russia, or the Russian way. The day before the concert, which was on the evening news, as the opening was a big deal; Putin was going to be there.
    The logistics person for the orchestra went for the first time to view the stage. The stage or the structure so called, was a raised platform maybe 30 cm, with a large (unmovable) wooden table firmly planted in front of it; large enough for probably 30 people. To compound this, the conductor happens to mention the piece they were going to perform. It was a religious piece that was at odds with the religion of the Russian Orthodox Church. The patriarch refused it. In the end, there was no concert to celebrate the gaudy overstated white monster that Moscow citizens paid for.
GO BACK

There are no laws in this country except the ones based upon greed.

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