Welcome to the old updates page. Sure, we could've just deleted the old updates, but what fun would that be? Now you can read all of them and relive the exciting creation and development of this site. Well...you could always just explore a more interesting part of the site via the stuff on your left, too.

6/10/2000 - Since we have been doing some major work on the site lately, I figured I'd finally get this updates thing up here to let you know when and what we've changed. Thanks to Chris's efforts, we have this wonderful new site design. And thanks to Brett, we have the biggest thing to hit the internet since fake nude pictures: Project WooWang 2000, which has just been updated this morning. That's about everything for now. Soon you should expect to see some updates in the calls page and the bios page and hopefully some new pages in the site for you to explore. If you have any questions, requests, or feedback, just click on that "Email Us" over there. Or, if you fear the "Email Us" button, feel free to send mail to weaselbassman@mediaone.net.

6/11/2000 - Another huge update went down for all you visitors tonight. The phone humor page has been updated for the first time in a while, and also I've added the CD page - a place where you can learn about giving us money because we're cool. Oh yeah, you get CD's there, too. Sorry if some of the new calls are not accessible right away from the prank calls page. Collegehumor.com has to upload them to their server before you'll be able to get them from there. Anyway, be sure to check those pages out and email me if you see any other problems or have any comments about the site.

6/12/2000 - Well, not so much went down today as far as updating, but I did get up the pictures that were missing before on the CD page. Also, I changed a little on the prank calls page concerning the archived calls. Email me if you see something wrong.

6/24/2000 - There hasn't been too much activity around here recently, but today the Project Woowang 2000 page got an update. Pretty soon some bigger changes should be taking place, so just keep comin' back to check this place out.

6/25/2000 - Nothing major happened today as far as site development goes. I thought I might as well write an update, though, because we added that little mailing list thingy that you probably already noticed before even looking at this update. So, join our mailing list to find out when we're updating and stuff. We will probably include other fun things, too, for our mailing list members, but you'll just have to join it if you want to find out what I'm talking about... That's all for today - those big updates are soon to come.

6/29/2000 - Ok, we've finally finished the long-awaited Prank Calls Page update. Since we are using server space on collegehumor.com for all of the calls, however, you probably won't be able to get at them right away. They will hopefully be available by later tonight or tomorrow. Anyway, no other major updates have taken place yet, but don't forget to cast your vote in the Project Woowang 2000 Startling Revelations Page. Also, check out the CD Page and give a thought to buying one; we have plenty for everyone. Please help support our efforts in entertaining you. Buy a CD today!

7/15/2000 - After quite a bit of sitting around and doing nothing, a somewhat fair-sized update has occurred. The title images for the Prank Call Archive Pages are finally up, and the Meet the Hose! Page actually has stuff on it now. Don't forget to do all that fun little crap like sign our mailing list and check out Project Woowang 2000. Oh yeah, and buy a CD already. You'll enjoy it. I guarantee it. Actually, I do have yet another announcement as well. For the first time since... - well, ever - we are set up to play a gig. Yes, that's right, we will be performing at some place with some other bands on Sunday, August 13th. Obviously, I'll have details posted up here as soon as possible. We will probably send out everything you need to know about what time and how to get there on the mailing list, too, so sign yourself up and make sure you don't miss out. That's all for now. Sooner or later some more calls should be ready to go up, so keep checking back for that.

7/19/2000 - No big update today. The info for our gig has been posted above if you haven't noticed already. Also, we have made a page to archive the old updates. The link to that page can be found at the bottom of the recent updates. That's about it - any questions or comments, email me.

7/29/2000 - Here they are: a page full of delightful new morsels of telephony goodness. In other words, the Prank Calls Page has been updated. As for band news, we're trying to get another, closer gig set up for before the August 13th show, but we really have no idea whether we will be able to get that arranged. Keep in touch with us via email or any other way you know how, or keep checking back here for info because as soon as we get it it'll get up here. No more for today - that's enough, isn't it!? I hope so...for now... Enjoy.

8/4/2000 - Another update?! No way! Uh...actually, yeah, there is another update amazingly enough. There is some new stuff up at Project Woowang 2000. That's about it, though. In case you couldn't download the newest calls last time, they are definitely available now. Don't forget to check those out. Ok, it's really late now, so I'm outta here...

8/14/2000 - Well, you're all lucky I'm tired and in a half-decent mood right now considering basically none of you bastards came to the show. Yes, I know it was a bit of a drive, but you have really proven yourselves by supporting us like this at our first real gig. That's pretty much all this update is for. I didn't do anything new to the page because you don't deserve to have new material to enjoy. The pictures from our set will make it up here eventually, but don't expect me to forget how you all dicked us in the ass very soon. I may be bitter for weeks - or until we can get to play again somewhere closer. Well, when we're rock star millionaires don't expect to get to the front of the autograph line. You can forget those free backstage passes, too. Ah, oh well. It's not like bitching on here will accomplish anything, either. Noone reads this page, anyway...

11/3/2000 - Two-and-a-half months. Damn. Well, better late than never, I suppose. We have a nice calls update today; first one in quite a while. Anyway, there will be another calls update very soon also, so be on the lookout for that. In other words, visit this site frequently because we like having visitors. It's a good thing. Ok, bye for now.

4/14/2001 - Ha! You silly bastards. Obviously it's been a while since this page has been touched. So much has happened in the past 5 months and 11 days. I recently discovered - without notice from FortuneCity - that my content wasn't appreciated much, and I am now a "jailed" FortuneCity user. So, that explains that gay-ass Yahoo!Geocities ad window piece of crap in the corner. I sincerely apologize for its interference in your webpage-viewing experience and promise to get away from Geocities and onto a real server as soon as possible. In fact, www.thehose.net should be operational by June or July; Imagine that. Next on the agenda I suppose I'll discuss the calls page. We have an ass-load of wonderful calls just sitting around collecting dust in my hard drive; however, I have decided that after only one more collegehumor.com update (which will actually consist of calls already on here I believe...) I will keep all following calls updates here only. The bad news about that is that I really won't have space here until we move to a real server with a real host and a real domain, which, as mentioned earlier, is not likely to happen until June or July. We'll see. Anyway, the main purpose of this update is to create a really large body of text in the Updates section and simply to get this site back online - an idea that struck me as half-decent once I actually received a few complaints and noticed that it actually was taken down by FortuneCity. Oh well, the 100 megs or whatever it was was fun while it lasted. Enjoy the site, folks... Again. Oh, and while it's on my mind, the ghetto original version of this site is actually still up and running on here, proving that Geocities obviously doesn't care as much about my content as those fagtards at FortuneCity. Here's a link: Old Skoo' Homepage of the Hose. Hopefully I'll keep with this mentality of getting stuff done more often and there will be another update in the near future. Don't hold your breath, though, because most updates require new content and aside from too many calls and not enough Geocities space, I don't have much. Um... I'm spent on this update post. Go look at rest of the site or something.

4/19/2001 - There's nothing new - Just thought I'd address the site problems. Yes, I'm aware that the newest calls are barely downloadable. Sorry, but that's not my fault... well, not really, anyway. Apparently the Geocities servers are infinitely slower than Fortunecity when it comes to media files. The only thing I can do about that right now is get hosted elsewhere - which I said in the last update isn't going to happen until June or July - or break more Geocities TOS and have those files stored and accessed from somewhere else. Though I have obviously entertained that idea, I'm far too lazy to do that at this point. So, that's that. In other news, maybe we'll end Project Woowang 2000 soon seeing as how it has been 2001 for several months... Ok, that's it. As I said, nothing's new, but you're welcome to keep coming back here as often as you want because hits are cool. Oh yeah, and email me if you have any ideas for this year.

8/31/2001 - Ahhhh... So sadly neglected this webpage is. It's difficult to think of where I should begin. First off, obviously nothing is really new - except for this cool picture I took just ten minutes ago while sitting here. As far as the site goes, there's no new content, all of the old content is still old and getting almost too old to be around (Project Woowang...), and someone - namely me - didn't really see the point in spending money towards our own domain and hosting services this summer nor any time in the near future. On the other side of the coin, however, we have been playing a lot lately - as a band, that is - and have another show lined up for Saturday, September 8th as a nice follow-up to a pretty kick-ass show we had on August 21st here at my current place of on-campus residence, Bromley Hall (the campus being the grand University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign). Anyway, after that mess of a sentence I would just like to let everyone know that we are indeed still alive and are playing a lot more than making phone calls these days, so expect to see some pictures and whatnot from some of these gigs up here sometime soon. If you really really like the prank calls, too, don't fret; I do still have somewhere around 70+ phone calls sitting on the hard drive waiting to be converted to real audio format and uploaded. Of course this isn't going to happen until we get our own domain and hosting somewhere. SO, if you want to see some phone calls, send me some money or something - that's the only thing preventing me from getting us hosted somewhere. I'm starting to think that this update is jumping around all over the place rather incoherently, but it isn't done yet. If you can't follow it easily enough, bite me; I'm not rewriting it now. Moving on... our next show is set up for the 8th of September at LAR (Lincoln Avenue Residence Hall for anyone off-campus that really cares or anyone on-campus that is just a retard). As far as I know at this point, since LAR is an all-female dorm (bonus) and the event we are performing as a part of happens to be a pajama party (double bonus), it is unlikely that any of our male fans will be able to join us. There is still a possibility that we can invite some people along with us, but right now it is looking to be quite unlikely. Sorry, but when a dorm full of women speaks, we are quite inclined to fulfill their requests. So that's that. If by some freakish chance you are a female fan of the band that I don't really know of, please get in touch with me (CLICK HERE) immediately. It's pretty amusing how much I've written so far for this update considering that there's not really anything new on the site. I sincerely hope you have enjoyed reading this massive body of text, and I hope to see all of you ladies out at LAR next Saturday night. More details will be posted as soon as I discover them myself. Also, keep an eye out for some miscellaneous stuff about our previous gigs. So long for now from your favorite Hose webmaster, bassist, and recently inducted Mensan.

8/31/2001 - ***CORRECTION*** Not more than five minutes after I posted the last update was I informed by Chris that our show at LAR is no longer associated with any pajama party nor is it sex-restricted (by sex-restricted I am referring to gender, you sick people, though it would be interesting to perform in front of some sort of massive orgy...). Anyway, that's the latest word: guys and gals alike are welcome, it's on Saturday the 8th of September, and I don't know if there will be any cover charge - seems unlikely to me right now, but if you read the update from earlier today several things concerning the show were obviously not of my knowledge, so anything goes. I'll try to get all of the details before I post again. Over and out.

9/9/2001 - I'd apologize for not really posting any final info about our gig on here before it actually happened, but I don't think anyone really comes here looking for it anyway. We did play last night at LAR, and I must say the show wasn't all that great. No offense to anyone who attended, but the fact is rather undeniable that the crowd was pretty lame overall. But enough about that. Maybe we'll get some pictures up here if they turn out all right - the pictures taken at our Bromley Bash performance are rather dark and not of very good quality. Also, we recorded our entire show last night, and despite its odd sound due to the strange acoustics of the room, we will probably take some songs from it and put them up here somewhere. That's pretty much all I have to say right now. Once I get some more free time, expect to see some changes around here: recordings, pictures, an end to Project Woowang 2000, more calls, a new domain(!), and perhaps even a new layout(?) - or a slightly altered layout because we are still lazy college guys. Until next time...

10/1/2001 - Hey. I don't have time to update this place, but I thought I would just make a post to tell everyone that we're still alive. In addition to our being alive, we might be playing at a show at Bromley Hall again in early November... Don't quote me on that. Well, you can quote me on it if you want, but I'm not making any promises. There also might be new music - I'm definitely not promising that one, though. A few other things I can avoid promising you all are new pictures of us at gigs and audio files. Donate $200 to me, however, and I will start making promises. In conclusion, I promise that we won't be performing Promises by Def Leppard at our possible show that could possibly be at Bromley Hall sometime in early November. Maybe. This is another one of those updates that started out small and meaningless and evolved through rambling into something long and incoherent. Damn. I'm done - maybe I'll take another bizarre picture with my camera and post it later. I promise I'm going to end this post after this sentence. Bye. ...oops. Bite me.

10/5/2001 - Only four days since the last update? Imagine that. Out of boredom today, I did a little work with the Meet the Hose! page. Other than that, nothing's new. Sometime later I'll move some of these updates to the old updates page, but I'm out of time for now. Aloha means goodbye.

10/6/2001 - As promised, I have cleaned the old updates from this page, and as an added bonus I took a random picture with my camera to entertain you. Yes, my mousepad is a Boardwalk title deed; pretty cool, eh? In case you answered no to the previous question, here's something that is undoubtedly cool: the status of our possible gig at Bromley has been updated from "possible" to "very likely" for Friday, November 9th. It could be part of a battle of the bands; it could be part of a variety show of sorts; it could be canceled. I'll try to keep this place updated so that all 0 of you loyal visitors know what's going on. Sometimes I think I'm only maintaining this place to entertain myself. Oh wait, I am. Well... bye.