Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm Ryo, and this is Koji. We're here today to talk to you about the deeper significance of the councils of bishounen.
You, our viewers, may have somehow gotten the erroneous idea that these councils are primarily about humor or entertainment.
Perhaps this impression came from watching the first council, or the theatrical trailer, or the previous TV short, or--
Yes, any of a number of sources have contributed to this miscommunication.
This has not escaped our attention.
Ryo and I would like to assure you that in the coming council, there will be plenty of instances where we convene to discuss issues of substance in a sober and disciplined manner.
GYEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAH! {PLOP}
Ah-HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Gwahhh--you filthy molerat! Spreading this "magic Gaea tapioca" all over my body does NOT make me invisible!
You are the most--hahahahaha!--gullible sop--hahahaha!--I have ever--
I'm going to take this tapioca and stick it so far up your nose that--
You'll have to catch me first, slimy!
Come back here, cretin!
...
...
Wha...aw $#@*&%! Who stole my napalm canister?
I'm just borrowing it, Mr. Riley. I'm going to burn the ropes I found in the supply yard!
Burn the...Sam, wait, we need those for set construction! Sam!
No can do, Mr. Strider. A gardener has to do what a gardener has to do!
Wait just a min--eeyeeech! Who spilled pudding all over the floor? SAM, hold up!
...
...
Luckily for us, everyone is getting the energy out of their system before we begin filming the second council, so that things will work cleanly and neatly.
Forget it, Ryo. By this time the audience realizes that we're shamelessly lying in a futile attempt to protect our fragile egos.
Koji, I know you hate trite sayings, but don't forget that where there's life, there's hope.
{YAAAAAAAAAAWN} Oh, wow. Koji, sorry to bother you, but I couldn't find my toothbrush, so I tried to use your hairbrush instead but it was really nasty with toothpaste on it and I couldn't fit it into my mouth anyway and...WOW, I hate mornings. I just can't think clearly! Okay, bye.
{TWITCH}
Of course, I've been wrong before.
Regardless, Ryo and I hope you'll join us for--no. You can't be serious.
CAMERAMAN
Yes, this is the actual title.
But it's--it's...
CAMERAMAN
It's Aragorn's specific request. He said something about lowering expectations as much as possible. Please just read the cue card, sir.
Get everyone out of here! The construction yard is on fire and the hoses aren't having any effect!
I keep TELLING you people, water won't touch a napalm fire! You need to use AFFF foam! Shorty, blondie, come with me. We're putting this fire out.
Oh, um, okay!
Yeek!
Please join us for The Council of Bishounen 2: The Second Council of Bishounen.
And Koji will start killing people.
Er...don't you mean "Or Koji will start killing people"?
At this point "And" is more accurate.
Watch the Second Council!
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