April 8, 2003

so for any of you who haven't taken the map test yet, look here and you can get the answer to the essay on session 2 of the language arts section, hehe. as you read this, keep in mind that i wrote this for my essay, and that i don't care what score i get, hehe. theyre either gonna get a chuckle out of it, or get grossed out, hehe.
the prompt:
"with rights comes responsibility" is the motto at your school. using this quote, write a letter to the principal at your school persuading him to give you more rights.
---my answer starts here---
for years students at our school have put up with sixteen hour schooldays, without breaks, getting good grades, and being perfect children. and for what? the only benefit we enjoy is that if we get all a's and b's then we are exempt from 'the stick treatment', and instead get to listen to the screams of the other children as they are being processed. for these reasons, i propose that to ensure the success of our school and benefit the students, we allow for a shorter school day, a fifteen minute lunch period, and freedom of decisions.
first, we should have a shorter school day. i believe that the current sixteen hour system is taking away from the effectiveness of our program. for this reason, we should eliminate the last hour from the schedule. of course, this interferes with some of your remedial programs, so students enrolled in 'Shock Therapy for Life' or 'Submission 101' will not gain this privelege.
second, we should be allowed a lunch period. We students are doing our best to survive by going home from school and begging our parents for table scraps. WE feel that fifteen minutes is not unreasonable, and indeed if we felt so inclined we could even ask for breakfast and dinner. This lunch would be put at the beginning of ninth hour.
Finally, my most important point, students' freedom from the grasp of strong administration politics. As the rules stand now, the administrators make the rules, decide which students have disobeyed the rules, and punish them accordingly. I only ask that a body of students be elected to choose which students are in violation of the rules in certain situations. As democracy obviously doesn't work most times, if there is not a unanymous vote either way, the two parties in question will duel to the death to decide the winner. Even though you are opposed to countries' democracies, I hope you will see that you can still enjoy this form of school politics, and it will save the students from the grasp of Vice Principal Skinner's son(?), who seems to get away with everything from stealing my only pair of shoes to burning trash cans full of toilet paper. I am not really sure if it's really his son though. The genetics are a bit confusing. I have included a family tree to clarify.
As you see, principal Hitler, these demands are very reasonable, and the latter even allows for some personal entertainment on your part. I hope that you see the finer points of this essay, and do not have the firing squad on me. Thanks for your time.
*salutes*
*stomps right foot on the ground three times*
*spins around 360 degrees*
*cuts wrist open*
*bleeds on floor*
---answer stops here---
actually, I included the family tree. it had aps's grandparents, his parents, then him. then it showed his grandfather from his mother's side running off to be gay with his father, and his mother running off with his father's father, giving birth to aps's sister/aunt. aps then gives birth to aps's son with his aunt/sister.

April 4, 2003

So today it was funny at work...I casually asked Steve how much it would cost to have him take my parents out without anyone knowing I had anything to do with it. Then somehow he started talking about his parents and how annoying they are when they call him from Florida. And then I told him that I would move away and never talk to my parents because I hate how they treat me. They don't want that to happen, though, ironically because they treat me like shit and expect me to love them. So I explained to him how they treat me like shit. First, my dad occaisonally gets pissed and loses it, tearing up everything and everyone in his path. Second, they take my car away for a C on my report card. This is the main issue of the day, so that's all I will talk about. First off, my parents have to play on my court. I have the advantage, because I could care less what they think of me or what my grades are. Second, I'm smarter and use everything my mom says against her, which pisses her off and makes her lose it, giving me further reason to harass her for not being able to carry on a decent adult conversation. So here's what my mom says to justify grounding me. And I use the term grounding loosely, because I am not technically grounded, they say. I have the privelege of car insurance if I get good grades. And they took away a privelege? Isn't that grounding? That's what I thought, too... Anyhow, they say I have to get good grades, then when I say that my grades are better than most people's, they say it doesn't matter, because I don't put out all the effort. So here's my question: why do I have to get 3 a's and 2 b's if it doesn't matter what grades they are? I figure I can do 2 a's and 3 b's with my effort, but a quota for grades? Sounds like hypocrisy to me. The flaw with their plan is this: I had 2 b's and 2 a's and a c. So if I work hard, I can pull the C up to a B, which still doesn't meet the quota. So why would I put in the extra effort if I'm not graded on effort? Yeah, so basically, they can't win the debate unless they just say 'you're grounded because I said so' and then I point out the painfully obvious flaw in society that children are always at mercy of egotistical adults with chips on their shoulders, while every other social group in the country enjoys a sense of rough equality. Well, enough bitching tonight, hehe...it's StarCraft time...welcome AWhitePerson...how many troops would you like to kill today? Hehe...

March 26, 2003

Why War with Iraq is Good

1. Hussein is evil. He kills innocent people. He idolizes Stalin. He's an old person.

2. To show the world how shit awesome our country is.

3. To pass on the idea of freedom to a group of people whose leader controls everything in his country. Let the ideas of America live. If you are anti-war, you are a traitor.

4. To spite the protestors.

5. To spite France.

Reasons Protestors are Idiots

1. They protest the war because they see it as the 'in' thing. Conformists are dumb. Conformists are traitors.

2. They are anti-America. They are against the spread of American ideas.

3. They are protestors. They protest for a living. They would protest peanut butter and jelly if the media would listen. We should ignore them.