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Hitler: His lives, his loves, his sock puppet Adolf Hitler, it is almost universally agreed was the most evil man alive, but after his suicide, what happened to his sock puppet? After a lot of research and digging around in unsold C&A sock deliveries, I discovered that said sock puppet is alive and well and working in a bookshop. Today, I secure an exclusive interview with Adolf Sock Puppet.
Adolf Sock Puppet is an unassuming character, with his side parted hair and little moustache, he could be mistaken for any old sock puppet Hitler impersonator, but, as it transpires, he is the real deal. Now working in a bookstore, he says of his days with Hitler, 'They were great times, but sometimes you just have to move on", Adolf Sock Puppet left Germany shortly after Hitler's rise to power, "He was just getting too much, and, to be honest, I was a bit scared, with his talk of the Third Reich and all that." He added, "I was a little confused as well, I didn't even know what a Reich was." So Adolf Sock Puppet's flight from his owner began, "I got out of Germany quick smart, attached to the arm of the famous socialist playwright and theatrical practitioner Bertolt Brecht". He settled in New York for a while, but only too soon, wanderlust set in, "I wanted to see more of the world, so I caught a boat from Ellis Island attached to the arm of an American G.I. who was eventually stationed in Kent", there he moved from town to town until he eventually settled in Lincolnshire and found a job in book sales.
"Books have always been my first love" he said "although I have a little trouble turning the pages, so a career selling books made perfect sense to me". But, after over fifty years, isn't he thinking of throwing in his book selling gloves and retiring, "oh no, not just yet, I'm happy selling books and serving customers. I just like helping people out." But, considering the fact that he once belonged to and looks like a former German dictator, does he think what life would have been like if he'd have stayed in Nazi Germany? "Oh yes," he answers, "I would have had my pick of all the beautiful sock puppet whores, and would have been swimming in gold, but would I have been happy? Probably not.... In fact I would have most probably been dead." As I leave the provincial Lincolnshire bookstore that is now the home of Adolf Sock Puppet, I wonder, if he'd have stayed in Germany, would the world be any different. I don't know, no one knows, well apart from people who can predict the future and stuff like that, but, then again, do they exist? That, as with many other things, is another question entirely..... Reporter: Martin Amis Sock Puppet |
