Paint or Pay

It's "Be Kind to Animals Week" in India when Marlene gets lippy with the Mahouts over suspected elephant abuse.

Analysis

The troopers receive a clue informing them that they'll have to put their patience skills to the test while teaching some local art students to paint. Simple enough?

Well as typical with many Road Rules missions... there's usually a curve ball thrown in there somewhere! And "Paint or Pay" is no exception when the gang finds out that their students are in actuality, elephants. Ok, so it's another dumb animal mission (the second one this season- if you count the saffari mission), but what's interesting here is the conflict that arises between the girls, the Mahouts, and the ringmaster with the elephants stuck in the middle.

As the plot unfolds, the Ringmaster (Alex, who is a Russian of mixed blood-- and what else? Nor Alex, or the editors care to elaborate on) tells the kids that they-- working in conjunction with the elephants, must paint a total of 16 portraits; the sum of which will go to help finance temp agencies (such as Alex's) for unemployed elephants who've been laid off by the logging industry-- I'm not lying folks, watch the episode!

Anyway, the gang is split up into two teams: guys vs. girls, and they have two hours to complete their mission. But soon a conflict sprouts between Marlene (Who's back in "Judge Judy" mode this week) and a mahout when Marlene accuses him of using excessive force on the elephant with a metal stick (which by the way, I never saw in use). Furthermore, Marlene spouts off that this sort of behavior is not tolerated in the good ole US of A; but I must raise my hand and ask Ms. Green peace.... "What about a certain incident that occurred some two years ago in your own home state where a elephant went on a wild rampage?" No doubt she didn't snap due to abusive trainers, now did she?

However, Marlene's babbling essentially falls on deaf ears since the mahout (without an interpreter) can't understand a word she's saying (Hey, neither can we at times bud)! So he continues on with his work which sends Marlene's testosterone levels up another notch. At one point she even offers to pay for all-ALL 16 paintings so the elephants won't have to put up with the mahouts' bull. Oh, and did I mention that the troopers have to produce 25 bucks for every portrait the elephants don't paint? Do the math folks, that's... (drumroll) 400 BUCKS!?! Has Marlene lost her freakin mind! Hell, there're not even supposed to have any money, if you've been keeping track of the missions this season; so on what basis does Marlene have any money to offer? More on this later on!

And if that wasn't enough, next Marlene jumps on Alex's case, blindly accusing him of under-the-table-dealings and putting the money in his pocket; which in its self is a really stupid thing to do. For one, she's considered a guest in their country, not the other way around! Second, Marlene needs to pull her head out of the sand and realize that other cultures have different ways of conducting their affairs- eventhough you not agree with it (I can't wait to see what shop owner she goes off on when they arrive in Hong Kong to see skinned dogs and cats hanging up side down in the city markets!).

And frankly, I'm fed up with having to witness season-in and season-out these naive- supposedly educated Americans bad mouthing other cultures (on both shows) just because they don't think and act the "American Way"- Enough already!

Then to add insult to injury, Ayanna jumped on Marlene's animal rights crusade by mouthing off to the head mahout for no apparent reason other than to give herself more screen time since her complaints were essentially a carbon copy of Marlene's. Besides, from what I've seen... Ayanna doesn't exactly strike me as a tree-hugging animal enthuiast; therefore, her actions here seem somewhat forced, and out of character (personally, I'm not your gung-ho animal rights activist. Sure, I'll donate to SCRO or ABA, but you won't find me camping out on top of a evergreen for a year to save some Spotted Owl!)

And in a later showing of "final insult", Clueless- in an annoying/cocky voice suggested the finances should go to educating Alex and his merry men rather than the elephants. Does this comment only strike me as extremely arrogant-dumb, and disrespectful? Especially coming from someone who (from what I've seen to date) treats school like a bad habit, and wouldn't know the meaning of "hard work" if you whacked it up side her head!

What right do they have (being mere tourist) to tell these people how to train their elephants in their own country? And as far as the girls' whole abuse charge is concerned... I never once witnessed any (that I would dub) "excessive force" used on the elephants despite B-M's attempts to manipulate the audiences' emotions via a ultra close up of a elephant's eye with a hint of a tear streaking down. Pulease! Is this suppose to extract some sort of sympathy from the viewer? Well not this one! Fortunately, the guys' painting session went abit more smoothly until their pachyderm decided to go on strike for more bananas, thus leaving out travelers with the bill.

Finally, Marlene concludes that being with the elephants for only two hours ain't gonna make a dang bit of difference. Therefore, the only way she feels she could make a difference is to live with the elephants for years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and- oh why don't you call it a decade already! And in a final statement, Marlene shares with us how she had planed on joining the Peace Corps for the specific purpose of going to India; however, after spending TWO whole hours in a art class- conflicting with half a dozen people, her image of India is forever trashed, and has no desire to set foot in this country ever again. Gee, talk about a narrow-minded observation!

There's also a small segment in this episode that's totally irrelevant to the plot, but is interesting to watch never the less: It involves the gang (minus Pawel) playing a "Truth or Dare" type game contrived by the producers to get the dirt on the cast' personal activities on the ship. How conveeeeniet that Yes and Clueless were pinned with the juicy- "How many girls have you scored" .... "Who would you like to do on this trip" questions that only they could answer! And since we're on the subject... Now I know there're allot of you "Yes" fanatics out there, but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't point out a gripe that isn't quite ideal here: mainly Yes's behavior. What in the world did Yes sniff before the filming of this episode? To say, "He's got pep" is an understatement. My man's as high as the Impire State Building! Especially with those out of control-over the top cameos where he was laughing hystericaly through out the show! I mean, I thought Marlene making a clown out of her self was funny, but not THAT funny!

Goofs

• Consistency: When the elephants went on strike, Ringmaster told the kids they'd have to cough up 25 bucks for each of the four paintings the pachyderms walked out on; so the troopers paid accordingly--but where did they get the cash from? To date I've never seen a mission where at the end, the cast were rewarded financially. And the only other source that comes to mind is the ship with an array of outlets in which the kids could acquire some quick cash: pan-handling other students, close friends on the ship, servicing frat boys and frat girls, stealing other's credit cards-- the possibilities are infinite!

• Pull My Chain Will Ya: Oh, and keep an eye out for that Jack in the Box Real World/Road Rules Challenge to pop up somewhere between now and the end of the season! Especially since it's not going to be shown next week which was somewhat unexpected because the challenge took place in India this past spring... And where is Road Rules this week? India. And where will Real World be? India. And why would BMP chose to overlook such a coincident? Beats me.

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