Just Say Yes

"NEWS FLASH" - Superstorm '99 expected to dump up to 20 feet of snow in the eastern US; Flying pigs sighted in Los Angelas; And our top story: The Semester at Sea kids get paid for completing a mission. - (Now those are headlines!)

Analysis

For the most part, "Just Say Yes" is somewhat of a mixed bag. On one hand, we have some satisfactory character work involving Yes's relationship problems, but on the other hand, I feel as though I'm watching Yet Another Real World Semester at Sea Installment. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm the only one spoilded by the ongoing story arc surrounding Ruthie's substance abuse problems on Real World, and wishing that Road Rules would rise to the occasion as well... or maybe not. I see Mario's given this episode a dismal score as well.

However, I'm willing to let it slide this week for two important reasons: 1) We just about have seen everyone else soak up their 15 minutes this season: whether it was Clueless looking up her folks in "Bon Voyage", Ayanna's crisis in... well, "Ayanna's Crisis", Shawn squaring off with the Bunkers in "Journey to South Africa", Pawel's sappy photo safari in "Pawel's Kenyan Experience", or most recently, Marlene's stance against animal abuse in "Paint or Pay" So I say it's about dang time we see why girls woo Yes!

And 2.) The mission (to be blunt) sucked; In fact, let me go on the record by saying that this was the lamest mission of the season to date! For those who cared for details (I sure as heck didn't), the mission boiled down to the kids (minus Pawel who came down with a nasty case of diarrhea. Oh well, it's not like he missed anything so...) baby-sitting orangutans- blah, blah, blah, Marlene spouting more ditzy quotes- blah, blah, blah, Ayanna acting for the camera- blah, blah, blah, (I'm not even going to dissect Ayanna and Marlene... three weeks straight is enought!)

What ever happened to the on-the-edge-of-your-seat thrilling animal missions of the past: shark tagging, running with the bulls, milking poisonous snakes, bull fighting, croc wrestling? Heck, even rounding up rabat Chihuahuas was more of an eye opener then watching camera shy safari wildlife, lazy elephants, or orangutans with A.D.D! Really, the only thing worth mentioning about this mission is the fact that the troopers finally got paid-- say what? Ya, I didn't believe it at first till I later replayed the scene several times to let it sink in; however, as of this week, I'm throwing in the towel on the missions and have decided to focus mainly on character work from here on out, because the missions as of late have been (to put it mildly) lackluster.

So forget the mission, this week's episode is dubbed: "The Yes Show" with the mission as the fly in the ointment. Here Yes (back in "Smooth Operator" mode) is stuck in your average love triangle you'd expect to see played out on 90210, Party of Five, or Ricki Lake (and played out much better I would say)! S.O lives up to his name this week when he introduces us to his latest conquest: Robin, a S.A.S student who sets herself up for heartbreak by immediately taking a liking to S.O, and assuming that he's ready for a commitment. Ha, as if! S.O's as ready for a commitment as I'm ready to take the New York City Bar Exam!

And S.O later proves my point when he ditches the lovely Robin for some fresh meat named Alissa (another S.A.S student). This in-turn leaves Robin visibly upset, and she let's S.O- er, one of S.O's chums know it; who in-turn relays it to S.O, who in-turn professes that he's not leading this poor girl on by a leash! Ya, I guess letting her lay on you like a side of bacon while delivering a couple dozen smooches isn't leading her on at all right? Get Real! And to further illustrate my point, Clueless (In one of her less annoying statements) pops up in a cameo to tell S.O that he's pretty thick if he thinks putting his arm around that girl while cooing sexual innuendos isn't leading her on!

Eventually, Robin tracks S.O down outside the men's rest room. In-side, we find S.O humping one of his boys in by far one of the most comical/bizarre scenes that I've ever seen on Road Rules (between this scene, and the one on Real World where Colin, Matt, and Justin were in a slo-mo chase scene after Ruthie in their underwear, it's weird behavior week on Real Rules; although some may say every week is weird behavior week on RW/RR)! Shortly afterwards, S.O emerges from the rest room with his boy- jive talking all the way about his latest conquest until he bumps into Robin, arms folded in a you-better-have-a-damn-good-explanation-for-this pose!

"Are you playing me for a fool?!?" - Robin ask. Thinking quickly, S.O slides Robin over to a nearby booth to feed her a line of BS on how he never had any intentions of leading her on from day one, and would prefer to keep their relationship professional. But Robin obviously can't take "No" for an answer, so she begins stalking him all over the ship. In one particular humorous scene during "Casino Night" (Casino Night? LOL! S.S "Spring Break" indeed!) when she took a stride in front of S.O and Alissa- shooting S.O the "You dog, how could you do this to me" skunk eye look!

It's fairly easy to see where Robin is coming from: she's your typical naive frat girl who all too easily falls for the dime a dozen/over recycled pick up lines coupled with the charismatic charm administered by your average play boy (Yes) while she thumbs her nose at the nice guy (Pawel and Shawn, who's words actually come from the heart, and are not used as a sales pitch to get under her sheets) in favor of foreshadowing heartbreak, numerous meals dominated by ice cream, and a late night call to Adam and Dr. Drew titled: "My boyfriend dumped me for another woman" - Adam: "Take a number sister!".

Then all of a sudden, S.O feels like total crap for letting all of this=(he and Alissa socializing) play out right in front of Robin because he respects her(?). Oh will someone throw Mr. Two-Face another picture of himself!

And it's a good guess that we won't see anymore of Robin this season (too bad, yum); why, because as usual, B-M policy states: "That a guest character romantically involved with a cast member must be gone by the end of the episode"- no ifs, ands, or buts. However, we may see some follow-up on this developing Yes/Alissa relation- friendship, right Yes? Besides, I'm plain sick of this broken record known as the Colin/Amaya soap opera... I'm game for something new!

Goofs

• In Your Carnival Cruise Brochure...: Ugh, excuse me! You mean to tell me that S.A.S has a casino on board too? Who ever lied and said that this ship is a floating university needs a congratulatory slap! But S.O informed us that it was all for charity. Gee, how typical for S.A.S/BMP to attempt to put a possitive face on some of their otherwise lame mission (and whatever) by attaching "charity" to it! Like I said before: charity's great, but you could at least make some of the missions interesting enough so the cast would be motivated to put forth their best effort.

• Road Rules: Slackers at Sea: "Where are the classes, where are the classes, where are the classes?" Ya, ya, I know, ask the editors....

• Consistency: During a conversation with Clueless and Shawn, S.O made the claim that he had never kissed another girl on the ship, but just last week, I recall S.O proudly acknowledging that he had scored at least four girls on the trip so far; So either 1) S.O out right lied, or 2) the events of the love triangle A Plot all happened before they arrived in India; In fact, be sure to check out "A Day at the Circus" during the up coming S.A.S Marathon in either late Sept, or early Oct, because if you look closely during the party scene of the first act, you'll catch a brief (about a second and 1/2) glimpse of Yes seated at a bench socializing with (well, what do ya know!) Robin in her trademark denim mini-skirt, and black tube top... which suggest some of the events in this episode occurred much, MUCH earlier; contrary to what the editors would have you believe!

• Dating NONO 105: I don't mean to rain on S.O's paper rose gift to girlfriend, but C'mon man! I know you wanted to impress her with your artistic skills, but you could've- or at least "I" would've coughed up enough cash to buy a real rose for my lady... Cheapskate! But I guess it's the thought that counts right?

• Fashion Crime: Oh and S.O, please get rid of that loud bulky sun visor, you look like a geek! Besides, only preppies don that sort of crap!

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