Going En Fuego

Step right up, step right up folks! See James ace Twenty Questions, See James put Pi Beta Phi in her place, See James stand up to annoying back seat drivers, See James remodel the Shasta, See James take on the Dukes of Hazzard, make low riders out of their monster trucks, and get a tongue lashing from Boss Hogg.

James is fed up with this trip.

I'm fed up with this trip too.

Analysis

No, that sound you're hearing isn't James' disgruntlement with being on this trip, but rather my stomach after viewing certain segments of this episode (fortunately I keep my trusty Alkaselzer near by). Now I don't wanna sound like a broken record because I've been saying the same damn thing over the past several weeks regarding RR's editing spoofs, but it's obvious the editors are hooked on some serious dope!

As if aligning totally out of context episodes weren't bad enough, now the Braindead Morphine editors are plugging segments from other episodes. Sure, they may be relevant to James' story line, but couldn't they have found any concurrent info/footage related to James' "I'm fed up" premise instead of cutting and pasting segments from "Walking on the Wind" and "Frosty Face-off"? There's a scene here where James is giving a rebuttal to Pi Beta Phi (Kathy) for her attack dog assumption that he has a silver spoon up his ass; meanwhile the exterior shots reveal that the Roadies are traversing through rocky mountains and snowy hills. Now I've lived in Georgia for the past eight years, and apart from Stone Mt. there are no rocky mountains nor have I seen any large amounts of snow here since the Blizzard of '93.

But editing gaffes aside, James managed to keep the show on the road with his blunt assertiveness towards the twin blondes and overall disgust with being on the trip. In one particular humorous scene James is venting to Theo about the extremely close living conditions inside the Shasta with its "fake ass walls" and such; then to prove his point, James proceeds to rip a cheap decoration vent off the wall like it's aluminum foil, rock on dude! If only James had hurled a small heavy object towards the bluelight special monitor, that would've saved us from another grueling visit by the ever so annoying Roadgimmick--who had the gaul to break out a country western tune (oh make it stop)!

So the troopers receive their clue informing them to head to Augusta for their next face-off. Upon arrival at the Civic Center the troopers meet their Mission Mayor, Boss Hogg who introduces them to the competition, The Georgia Greeks: Natalie, Alicia, Julie, Mark, Cory, and Phillip. Their mission, to compete against the Greeks in a series of events worth 50 to 100 points in value. Winner takes home $6,000.

The troopers kick-off to a slow start in the relay race, but gradually gain ground during the crash course and drag race--which resulted in a life-saving tie keeping the troopers in the game. Then came the main event, the Monster Truck Race, which put Greek Boy up against James in a timed race, winner takes all! So Greek Boy goes first managing to offend my grandmother with his 2mph attack on the course; however James shows the boy how real monster truck racing is done, but not without showering the audience with dirt and transforming the 4 by 4 into a low rider.

Obviously this doesn't set well with the hick owner who announces that "Somebody's gonna pay for that!"; then proceeds to get physical with the camera before storming off to round up the vigilantes. And let me tell you something... If I were that camera buff I'd let that baby fall to Earth and splatter like a china set, "Oh, clumsy me! That'll be $2,000 bucks bubba!" But wait! The Redneck Revolt doesn't end there... Like white on rice Boss Hogg tracks James & Co. down to the locker room and proceeds to insult the English language...

Boss Hogg: "That's a biiiig no-no."

James: "What did I do?"

Boss Hogg: "What did you do? You took a $10,000 dolla truck and drove it like a animal!"

...And so on and so on. That was Hogg's main argument throughout this whole reprimand. An argument that carried about as much weight as a helium balloon. First of all why are they driving your typical 4 by 4 on a course designated for big wheel monster trucks (plus throw in an inexperienced driver)? The hothead owner was practically begging for damage. Second, why get up in arms over a busted wheel axle anyway? I mean B-M's a wealthy organization; I bet Jon and Mary could personally drop in on one of their luxurious choppers, write hothead a check for his lousy pick up, and throw in an extra $50 bucks to buy Boss Hogg an Ab-Blaster while there're at it! And third, Hogg is sure taking this whole accident personally ain't he? Up in James' face and all. Either 1.) The busted truck was his boys--in that case, go James! Or 2.) Hogg was scared straight that the hothead owner would beat the crap out of him for letting his truck get busted--in that case, go James go!

And in a surprise noble jester Greek Boy pipes in to rally to James' defense: That he has little experience driving over 4ft high humps; still Boss Hogg sets in his way--even though it was "he" that told James to quote "gas and go" so go figure. Anyway, Hogg ends up disqualifying RR, therefore the Greeks take home the gold and the $6,000 bucks. And in second place, Team Road Rules takes home the silver and a load of resentment. For his part James presents another surprise noble jester by giving his medal and lingering sign of injustice to a little kid in the bleachers; however in a perfect world James would've given that piece of scrap iron right back to Boss Hogg and told him to shove it where the sun don't shine, but of course that's my .02 cents.


NEXT WEEK: The troopers take a dive, but will the episode follow them? Stay tuned...


Jump straight to "Theo's Big Adventure". Or go back to "Take a Leap".

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