Baba (Grandmother) Toba Devorah, was the matriarch of the Dalfen family. She lived in the 1940's in a small apartment at 373 St. Joseph Blvd. West in Montreal, in a building owned by Uncle Joe. Baba had the front apartment on the main floor, that had an outdoor garden with benches for her exclusive use to entertain her friends. Which one of our cousins who lived in the area did not knock on her window each time they passed by her apartment? She always waved back at us, without fail. I passed by her apartment at least four times each day. We all gave her such happiness by passing by and saying a little hello.

When Uncle Joe sold the apartment building, he had the contract stipulate that the garden should remain for Baba’s exclusive use. Our uncles and aunts, her children, would visit her very often. They gave her such respect... such “Kibud Em” (honouring a mother). They told her that she was the boss and that they worked for her. As one example of her children’s love and respect, they opened charge accounts for her at the grocery store... I distinctly remember the Mindeses on Park Avenue who would deliver whatever she needed.

Another way they practiced Kibud Em was that they made sure she did not ever have to ask for money. Baba had a bureau in the living room/dining room that had a drawer in it. Her children would put money in the drawer instead of giving her cash in her hand.