More Laughs For You . . .

Love, Lust, Marriage

~ LOVE - when your eyes meet across a crowded room
~ LUST - when your tongues meet across a crowded room
~ MARRIAGE - when your belt won't meet your waist, and you dont care

~ LOVE - when intercourse is called making love
~ LUST - all other times
~ MARRIAGE - what's intercourse ?

~ LOVE - when you argue over how many children to have
~ LUST - when you argue over who gets the wet spot
~ MARRIAGE - when you argue over money

~ LOVE - when you share everything you own
~ LUST - when you think twice about giving your partner bus money
~ MARRIAGE - when the bank owns everything

~ LOVE - when it doesn't matter if you climax
~ LUST - when the relationship is over if you don't climax
~ MARRIAGE - what's a climax ?

~ LOVE - when you phone each other just to say "Gidday"
~ LUST - when you phone each other to organize sex
~ MARRIAGE - when you phone each other to find out whats for dinner

~ LOVE - when you write poems about your partner
~ LUST - when all you write is your phone number
~ MARRIAGE - when all you write are checks

~ LOVE - when you show concern for your partners feelings
~ LUST - when you couldn't give a crap
~ MARRIAGE - when your only concern is what's on TV

~ LOVE - when your farewell is "I love you darling . . ."
~ LUST - when your farewell is "So, same time next week ? "
~ MARRIAGE - when your farewell is silent

~ LOVE - when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner
~ LUST - when you only see each other in the bedroom
~ MARRIAGE - when you never see each other awake

~ LOVE - when your heart flutters everytime you see them
~ LUST - when your groin twitches everytime you see them
~ MARRIAGE - when your wallet empties everytime you see them

~ LOVE - when nobody else matters
~ LUST - when nobody else knows
~ MARRIAGE - when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows

~ LOVE - when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how your feel
~ LUST - when it's just the same mushy old crap
~ MARRIAGE - when you never listen to music


Verbal usages of the "F" word

^ It's fuc*ed = It doesn't work
^ I'm fuc*ed = I am tired, or drunk
^ Wanna Fuc* = come on baby lets get down
^ Fuc* All = its all screwed
^ Fuc* Me = ?
^ Fuc* You = I do not like you
^ Fuc* this = I give up
^ Fuc* off = get lost
^ Fuc* it = ooops, I seem to have a made a mistake
^ Holy Fuc* = See Fu** me
^ Fuc* piece = mistress, girlfriend, wife boyfriend, penis
^ Dumb Fuc* = a person with little common sense
^ Fuc*er = bad person

A very versatile word indeed. The list
is not a complete fuc*ing list . . .
and i apologize for any omissions ,hehe


Here are some moments in history
in which the work fuc* was used

* Michaelangelo : You want me to paint what on the fuc*ing celing ?
* George Cluster : Where did all those fuc*ing Indians come from ?
* Mayor of Hiroshima : Holy Fuc*, What was that ?
* Captain of the Titanic : What fuc*ing iceberg ?
* Albert Einstein : Any fuc*er can figure that out
* Oliver North : You're all fuc*ing liars
* OJ Simpson : I did not, could not and would not fuc*ing do it
* Bonnie and Clyde : This is a fuc*ing hold up
* Anne Boleyn : Fuc*ing heads are gonna roll

More Fuc*ing Laughs . . . ha ha

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