Music by Elton John, Words by John Abrahams
Hey Mitch, get yourself together
This dinner is all done now
And it's time for something better!
We'll finally have a talk tonite.
Put your orange down
You're gonna drink delicious coffee
It's the best in town
Say Mitchell, have you tried it yet?
But it's been left out, it's tepid at best.
Oh but it's weak and it's terrible
Oh Benton, I could scream!
He's got a big hot plate, and a microwave
You know I should be seeing steam!
But-But-But-But Benton he just lets ... lets ... lets ...
(the-coffee-get-cold ... cold ... cold ... it's damn old)
Hey Mitchell, you must be getting drowsy
As far as butlers go,
I know Benton is lousy
He says he's not, but he's been bad all night long
(turns to Benton)
While we fight our guest walks out to the streets
I still say I'm right, and you're wrong!
Say Mitchell, have you tried it yet?
But it's been left out, it's tepid at best.
Oh but it's weak and it's terrible
Oh Benton, I could scream!
You've got a big hot plate, and a microwave
You know I should be seeing steam!
But-But-But-But Benton you just let ... let ... let ...
(the-coffee-get-cold ... cold ... cold ... it's damn old)
Benton ... Benton ... Benton ...
Benton ... Benton ...
He just lets ...
(to fade)
(Cummins and Benton continue their verbal sparring,
"You are a lousy butler" and "I am not" repeatedly as the lights and music fade,
and the curtain finally closes on the scene.
Maybe a lone spotlight stays on Mitchell's discarded orange peel, for artistic effect.)
