"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Plato:
For the greater good.
Karl Marx:
It was an historical inevitability.
Thomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would
let it take.
Douglas Adams:
Forty-two.
Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.
Oliver North:
National Security was at stake.
Carl Jung:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated
that individual chickens cross roads
at this historical
juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such
occurrences into being.
Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the
chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Ludwig Wittgenstein:
The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects
"chicken" and "road," and
circumstances came into being
which caused the actualization of this potential ocurrence.
Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken
depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle:
To actualize its potential.
Ayn Rand:
Prevailing market forces made the need self-evident.
To contemplate
the need is irrelevant.
Albert Camus:
I am bored today.
Henry Miller:
see: Epicurius
Kosh (Babylon 5):
There is only Kosh.
Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Salvador Dali:
The Fish.
Darwin:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the
trees.
Emily Dickinson:
Because it could not stop for death.
Epicurus:
For fun.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Johann Friedrich von Goethe:
The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
Werner Heisenberg:
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on,
but it was moving very fast.
David Hume:
Out of custom and habit.
Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Jack Nicholson:
'cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
reason.
Pyrrho the Skeptic:
What road?
Ronald Reagan:
I forget.
John Sununu:
The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
transportation, so
quite understandably the chicken availed
himself of the opportunity.
The Sphinx:
You tell me.
Sappho:
Due to the loveliness of the hen on the other side,
more fair
than all of Hellas' fine armies.
Henry David Thoreau:
To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
Mark Twain:
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Stephen Jay Gould:
It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation
for it, but we have been deluged in recent years with
sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little
direct evidence about the genetics of behavior, and we do
not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviors that
figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation.
Joseph Stalin:
I don't care. Catch it. Crack its eggs to make my omelette.
Captain James T. Kirk:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Machiavelli:
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a
chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross
the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the
strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In
such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion
maintained.
Hippocrates:
Because of an excess of pleghm in its pancreas.
IBM Consultant:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was
faced with significant challenges to create and develop the
competencies required for the newly competitive market.
IBM Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client,
helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution
strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry
Integration Model (PIM) IBM helped the chicken use its
skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to
align the chicken's people, processes and technology in
support of its overall strategy within a Program
Management framework. IBM Consulting convened a
diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens
along with IBM consultants with deep skills
in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day
itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal
knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to
enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve
the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting
and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework
across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.
The meeting was held in a park like setting enabling and
creating an impactful environment which was strategically
based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear,
and unified market message and aligned with the
chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was
conducive towards the creation of a total holistic business
integration solution. IBM Consulting helped the chicken
change to become more successful.
