Who am I, what have I become?
  Why is happiness out of my reach?
Whenever I think I've found the answers
  The questions retort, but even stronger
They tell me I should never change
  So I accept myself, and I smile...and I trust
Above all, I set free my capacity
  To care for other people unconditionally
Heart open, an honest, caring attitude
  What can go wrong? Answer: everything.
Ever have that feeling of an empty existence
  Roaming through your body???
    It renders you immobile, mentally and physically
It's the feeling that enters you
  When someone loses faith in you, or
When that girl you profess your undying love to
  Doesn't come close to reciprocating the feeling.
That angelic essence essence in me, slowly...
  It's slowly pulling itself away from me.
I'm losing the capacity to care,
  To trust, and my smile is gone...
I mean, what's the use of confiding
  In someone, if they just push you away 
I don't want to welcome a frozen heart, again...
  But it really looks enticing...
    At least my heart couldn't be broken...


this was originally written on June 18, 1998.

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