“Hmm...” “What is it?” Chekhov asked Staniv a question. “Huh?” Staniv (with his head back on) stopped his investigation to acknowledge her presence. “Oh. I was just researching the materia I found from those talking chocobos that were blown to smithereens by my new weapon.” Chekhov gave Staniv an annoyed look. “You know, you shouldn’t have blasted those poor birds with that bazooka.” Staniv wasn’t really noticing. He just continued, “I found out that those birds weren’t chocobos at all. They were robots.” “Really?” “Further more, Chekhov, an investigation of these materia told me that these materia are actually a seal to bind something.” “Bind what?” “I have no idea.” Chekhov, losing interest, decided to leave Staniv and his investigations alone. She wondered where Godo went. She also wondered how the heck the Da-Chao mountain could just disappear.
“What do you mean that harvesting mako is illegal, now!?” The young man in the white business suit was having no success at opening a mako plant. The police man replied, “You heard me. Ever since the lifestream saved the planet, people have decided that sucking its energy was a bad thing.” Rufus and his dad were not happy. “We need an alternate source of energy.” Rufus turned to Hojo. “Don’t just stand there! Find one!”
“Tra la LAAAA!” Palmer dashed by the big dark man. “What the hell!?” Barret wondered why he was in such a rush. Then he saw Yuffie. “Now why the hell would some foo’ be scared of that little brat?” “Daddy! What’s hell?” Barret blushed. He looked down at his young adopted four-year old daughter. “Nothing, Marlene. Forget that I said that.” Barret obviously did not want to cuss in front of a four-year old. Yuffie dashed over to Barret. “Barret! What are you doing, here?” “I was taking my dear lil’ daughter on a science field trip. We’re going to check out Cid’s new blasted contraption.” “Rocket, dad.” Barret and Marlene walked up to the remains of the rocket. “Wait!” Yuffie shouted. “Can you help me find Cloud?” “I ain’t got no time to help nobody ‘bout finding some guy I no know where!” Yuffie stared at Barret. Neither she nor Marlene could comprehend a single thing he said. “Now ain’t that something?” Barret looked at the rubble. “I ain’t never seen no rocket that looks like that.” Yuffie suddenly felt something poke against her back. It was Cid. Cid put his spear to Yuffie’s back. “Cid! What are you doing?” asked Barret. “Don’t move! Yuffie will die!” screamed a mad Cid. “What?” asked Yuffie. “You destroyed my rocket and killed Shera. Now I will kill you!” “Hey!” screamed Yuffie. Cid raised his spear to stab Yuffie in the heart, when he suddenly dropped down, dead. He was shot in the back. Vincent walked over to Yuffie. “Glad I could help.” Everyone looked at Vincent. Barret then barked, “Vincent! You killed Cid!” “Oops.” replied Vincent, unmoved. Yuffie interrupted the two. “Yeah, well, thanks for saving my life. Why are you here?” Vincent wasn’t exactly sure. “I detected some dark force beginning to move. I’m here to stop it, whatever it is. It seems to be corrupting the hearts of people, everywhere.” “How do we stop it?” Yuffie asked. “Someone broke the seal that was containing it. We must find the orbs that made up the seal, and return them to their rightful places.” “Really? What do the orbs look like?” Vincent looked at Yuffie. His reply sent a chill down her spine. “Chocobo lure.”
Now, obviously, Yuffie felt very guilty, and when she told everyone what happened, they weren’t very happy with her. However, since it wasn’t on purpose, everyone decided to forgive Yuffie, sort of. Now all they had to do was find the Chocobo lures.
“Ugh... $@)$)@. What happened?” Cid woke up. Everyone immediately drew their weapons. “What the %(#)_@ is going on?” Vincent walked up to Cid. “I’m glad to see that your back to normal.” Cid rubbed his head. “Huh?” Cid heard a shout. “CAPTAIN! Get me down from here!” It was Shera. When the rocket collapse, Shera, who just recently entered, dived out the exit and grabbed onto one of the support towers. She was now clinging for dear life. In his rage, Cid never thought of going to the rocket to see if Shera was all right. “Oh dear. She’s going to give me hell for this.”
“Okay, I’ve got it.” Everyone was waiting for Cid’s answer. “I analyzed the funky black stuff that poured out when I was (%@)$ shot.” Yuffie cringed at the thought of the black blood. “Ugh, Grossness.” “And it appears to be... mako.” “Mako!?” Barret and Vincent examined Cid’s sample. “Yeah. The shit’s mako, all right. It turns out that it’s a different type of mako.” Yuffie was getting curious. “Different, in what way?” “Well, you know how the lifestream is made up of souls, right? And mako is derived from the life stream, right? This mako is the same, but it is made up of evil souls.” “So?” Cid sighed at Yuffie’s ignorance. “So!? What do you mean, so!? Being made of dark mako, this mako has the ability to turn people’s thoughts to evil. Also, I’m not sure but, since it is made up of life’s very essence, I think it has the power to actually... umm... I can’t say it. It’s crazy.” Yuffie pressed Cid on. “What? Say what?” “I think this mako has the power to bring people back to life...”
“Resurrection!?” shouted an impressed Barret. “You mean, with this stuff, I could bring back Dyne, or Eleanor, or even my own wife? Kick ass!” “Not really.” “Why not?” Cid looked at a disappointed Barret. “The @&*%^ stuff revives people in a bad way. People who are resurrected with this stuff are born again with an evil heart.” “So? I could live with an evil wife. Then again, I guess not.” “Hey!” Yuffie got everyone’s attention. “Let’s just go back and get those chocobo lures, so we can seal away this stuff.” Barret left Marlene in Shera’s care, and the group headed west.
When Yuffie and everyone else arrived at Wutai, Staniv and Chekhov greeted them. “Hey, Yuffie.” Staniv waved. Yuffie looked at Staniv. “Did you see some chocobos go by here with some chocobo lure?” “Sure. I blew their heads off with my bazooka.” “Can I have the chocobo lure, please?” Staniv and Chekhov gave each other a nervous look. “Well, Da-Chao has it.” Cid asked, “How the hell did Da-Chao get it? Isn’t that ^&%*$ thing just a stupid mountain?” “HEY!” Yuffie, Staniv, and Chekhov glared at Cid. “Don’t curse our god!” “Anyway,” continued Chekhov, “He’s taken Godo hostage for some strange reason, and he’s threatening to kill anyone who comes into the pagoda, where he is currently residing.” “Great. Come on.” Yuffie, Barret, Cid, and Vincent headed for the pagoda. “Miss Yuffie!” Gorky grabbed Yuffie by the ear. “OW!” “It’s time for your classes!” “Again!? I just took my stupid lessons yesterday!” “Too bad!” Gorky dragged Yuffie away. Vincent looked at Barret and Cid. “Looks like we have to go up there without her.” “Hey, will you look at that!” Barret redirected everyone’s attention to a man in a blue business suit who was being followed by a cat riding a fat moogle. The man waved to another person, and his cat and moogle waved at the exact same time. The person glared at the man, and walked away. “I don’t get it.” said Reeve to the cat. “Why does everyone keep looking at me like that?” “Reeve!” Barret, Vincent, and Cid dashed over to Reeve. Barret walked up to him. “What are you doing?” Reeve greeted them. “Hey, guys. I was just going on vacation here. I haven’t really had much to do, ever since the Shinra came down. What are you doing?” “Well,” Cid replied. “We’re trying to stop some dark mako from spreading over the entire planet and making everyone turn into evil psychopaths.” “Cool. Can I come with you fellows?” “Um, sure.” Reeve looked at his cat and moogle. “Um, actually, I can’t come, myself.” Barret asked, “Why not?” “I got a new job at a new corporation, and I have to get going. But I can come along in my toy body, if you want me too.” “Don’t see any reason why he can’t come.” thought Barret. “Sure, come on.”
The fearsome four entered the pagoda. At the top was none other than Da-Chao, the many headed god, himself. With him was Godo. “Welcome, friends!” Da-Chao mocked. “I prepared a gift for you.” “ARGH!” Godo howled. “HE’S POSSESSING ME!!!” Da-Chao shot into Godo’s body, and Godo stood up. “Now, you will all die! Ultimate trine!” Godo waved his hand, and a huge electric triangle spinned the entire room around, slamming Barret, Cid, Vincent, and Cait Sith against the walls of the pagoda like rag dolls. “Shit!” commented Barret and Cid at the same time. “Jinx.” said Barret. “ARGH! YOU &$@()^@!” Cid bonked Barret on the head. “Don’t worry, guys!” said Cait Sith. “I’ll use my limit break!” Cait Sith used his slots limit break. “If I get three faces, we win!” Face, Face, and.... um... bar. Cait Sith, Barret, Vincent, and Cid instantly die. “Oops. Sorry.” said the stupid cat. “Now, I will kill you all!!!” Godo raised his katana to cut through Vincent, when a shurikan cut his arm. “Argh!” “Dad!” Yuffie sprinted over to her father. “What are you doing!?” Cid shouted, “He’s been $^@%^# possessed!” “Dad, I can’t let you do this! Stop!” “Never! I will kill you too!” Godo charge Yuffie with his sword, but Yuffie jumped out of the way. As Godo slammed into the wall, Yuffie darted her conformer in his direction. Godo caught the conformer in his hand, which began to bleed, and he darted it back at Yuffie. Yuffie put up her shielded arm to block the weapon, but it hit her with such force that she was sent flying into the wall behind her. “OW, OW, OW!” Yuffie cringed in pain as she checked her dented arm. Godo raised his katana to strike but Yuffie rolled out of the way as his katana met the rug. “Annoying pest! Hold still!” Godo chased Yuffie around the room several times. Suddenly, Yuffie remembered something. “Knights of the Round!” Thirteen knights appeared and slashed at Godo, doing so much damage that it was almost a joke that the knights of the round materia ever existed. Godo promptly fell to the floor. “Dad? Are you back to normal?” asked Yuffie, remembering that Cid turned back to normal after Vincent killed him. “Normal!? Of course I’m normal!” Godo jumped up, and charged at Yuffie. “Dad!!!” Yuffie took out all of the money that she stole from Cloud and darted it at Godo. It slammed Godo back into the floor and cut him up really badly. Godo could not get back up. “Are you back to normal, yet?” “You will die.” Even though he was down, Godo was still muttering curses. “What do I do?” Yuffie couldn’t figure out what to do, next. “Maybe I need to kill him, some more!” Yuffie darted her conformer into Godo’s neck. “GAACK!” Though he should have been dead, Godo still kept on saying, “You will die.” Suddenly, Yuffie remembered that Da-Chao possessed Godo. Yuffie grabbed out a telephone device (PHS) that she stole from Cloud. “Hello? Chekhov? How do I stop Da-Chao from possessing someone?” “Oh, that!” replied Chekov’s voice. “First of all, DO NOT TRY TO KILL THE POSSESSED PERSON. I repeat! Do not try to kill the possessed person. All you are doing is just killing the possessed person. You are not helping to cure him from being possessed in any way.” “Oops.” thought Yuffie. “Sorry, dad.” Godo twitched. The telephone continued, “Just repeat after me. By the power of the five gods, power, speed, magic, weapon, and omni, who are much more powerful and always will be more powerful than those stupid lousy horrible excuses for gods, leviathan and da-chao, whose names don’t even deserve to have capitalized letters and are lowly worms that are nothing more than stupid idols, I banish you from so-and-so, who must have been a real weakling and doesn’t deserve to live if he/she can be possessed by those pathetic excuses for gods leviathan and da-chao.” Yuffie glared at the telephone. “What kind of stupid prayer is that!?” After Chekhov repeated the prayer three times so that Yuffie could memorize it, Yuffie said the prayer, removing Da-Chao from Godo’s body. Da-Chao looked at Yuffie. “Thank you!” he said. “You have freed me from the evil spell of the mako! I am free!” Da-Chao disappeared, and the mountains behind Wutai reappeared. Da-Chao gave one last message, “Oh, and everything those five gods said is bull, except for that stuff about leviathan.” “You know, dad?” Yuffie looked at Godo, who was still twitching. “What?” he said. “I am really beginning to doubt Da-Chao’s power as a god.” “Oh shut up.”
The chocobo lure was promptly returned to the rubble of the Seventh Heaven and the rocket, easily enough. Upon reaching Cosmo Canyon, though... the group was greeted by Bugenhagen and Red XIII. “Hello, Yuffie!” barked Nanaki. “Red XIII! What are you... what is Bugenhagen doing, here?” “Didn’t I tell you? He was just going on a journey, ha ha ha! I told you that he would be back.” Yuffie looked at Vincent. “Isn’t that old dude supposed to be dead?” Red XIII looked at Yuffie. “Dead? Now where did you get that? I am so glad that my grandfather is all right.” Bugenhagen finally talked, “Nanaki, you will obey me, right?” “Sure, grandfather!” “Then, sick ‘im! Kill them now!” “What!? Grandfather! Why!?” “Do it!” “Yes, grandfather.” Red XIII prepared to spring on Yuffie, then stopped. “Wait a minute. Did you say, “Sick ‘im?”” “Um...” “Grandfather would never treat me like a dog!!! Who are you!” Red XIII growled at the Bugenhagen impostor, then jumped on him. “HO HO HO!” The impostor vanished. “An illusion!?” screamed Red XIII. “But why!?” Suddenly, a huge skeleton with a head dress wearing a rotten green animal skin materialized. “My illusion failed... but I will still destroy you!” “Who the hell are you?” asked Barret. “I am Nattak, leader of the Gi tribe. The dark mako has given us the power to break past Seto’s seal, and now we will destroy this pathetic canyon and the last of Seto’s pathetic tribe!!!” Suddenly, thousands of Gi spirits materialized, and began attacking the residents of Cosmo canyon. “HELP!” The elders was running around in a state of panic. “Shit!” commented Barret and Cid at the same time. “Jinx!” said Cid. “You foo’!” Barret blasted Cid with a shot from his arm gun. The Gi tribe turned their attention to Red XIII. “Uh oh. Woof.” They charged. Barret and Vincent took out a ton of them as gun shots rang through the air. Yuffie’s shurikans also destroyed many of them. When they got closer, Red XIII and Cid cut them to ribbons, but the group was soon swarmed by the Gi tribe, as they were far too outnumbered. “Great!” shouted Barret as his Drill arm reduced a Gi spirit to mush. “Now what are we gonna do?” “Ayiee!” Cait Sith screamed as he ran by with several Gi poking at his head (of the cat). “KUPO!” The moogle shouted as he tried to swat the annoying flies [Gi] away. “Don’t worry, guys! I’ll use my limit break!” “NOOOO!” Everyone screamed in horror as Cait Sith used his slots limit break. Moogle, Moogle, and Moogle. Everyone was sucked into Cait Sith. Since he combined with more than just two other people, Cait Sith turned HUGE. He towered over Cosmo Canyon. “ANNOYING FLIES!” The moogle looked at Nattak. “What are you doing!” the cowering spirit screamed. The moogle grabbed Nattak and ate him. CRUNCH! “Delicious.” The moogle then opened his mouth and inhaled. All of the Gi spirits were sucked into his gaping mouth. With all of the Gi gone, Cait Sith returned to normal, and everyone reappeared. “We did it!” said an excited Red XIII. Everyone began to celebrate. Suddenly, everyone gagged and vomited. Cosmo Canyon was soon littered with pieces of bones and assorted Gi tribe garb.
“Ugh...” Cloud Strife woke up, on an altar. An altar. The very same place where Aeris made her last prayer. “Where...?” Cloud stood up, and looked around. Aeris walked up to him. “Hello, Cloud.” “Aeris? Aeris!!!” Cloud ran up to Aeris and hugged her. “You’re all right! When Sephiroth came down and... I thought you...” “Cloud!” Aeris blasted Cloud away with a wave of her hand. Cloud then looked at Aeris. “No... What are you doing? Aeris! Snap out of it! Please!” “Cloud! Unless you can defend yourself, you will die, here!” Bolts of lightning soared from Aeris’ fingers as she blasted Cloud with lightning spells. “Aeris, I can’t hurt you.” Cloud could not bring himself to fight back. Instead, he cast cure magic on himself. “Then you will die.” Aeris cast a summoning spell, and Cloud was striked from above by Bahamut Zero. “NO!” Helpless, Cloud continued to take Aeris’ attacks. Bolts of pure energy kept on slamming into him, and he was being circled by wave after wave of magical attacks. Aeris then summoned Knights of the Round, and thirteen huge knights cut Cloud to ribbons. “NO!” Cloud, with his final attack materia, saved himself with a life 2 spell. Aeris continued to mercilessly assault him with every magic spell in the book and even summoned Super Nova, destroying all of the planets in the solar system. Cloud did nothing... until he heard a voice. Aeris’ voice. “Cloud, please, save yourself. You must fight back.” “Aeris, I can’t...” “You must! You can’t let me kill you like this...” Cloud looked into Aeris’ eyes and saw nothing. He understood. Aeris prepared to finish Cloud off with Ultima, when she was blasted by a Comet spell. “I can’t let you!” Cloud charged at Aeris with his horribly gigantic sword, but Aeris jumped out of the way, and slammed her staff on Cloud’s head. Cloud felt the pain soar through his head as the staff went crunching down, but he took it and Aeris was surounded by fire from a flare spell. His magic power was beginning to run out, and Aeris kept on attacking. “DIE, Cloud!!!” Aeris slammed her staff into Cloud’s face, and attacked with an ice 3 spell. As he was covered by the sharp icicles, Cloud fell to his knees. With Cloud weakened, Aeris was about to summon the Knights of the Round, once again, to finish him off. As Aeris raised her hands and waved them, Cloud muttered under his breath, “Forgive me, Aeris...” Cloud charged over to Aeris while she was casting the summon, and Cloud stabbed with his sword. The sword sliced clean through her. Everything seemed to progress in slow motion as Aeris was run through. The familiar slashing noise of the sword rang through Cloud’s ears. The same sound when he lost her so long ago. Aeris kneeled down, and fell forward. She looked at Cloud with the same beautiful eyes as when she first met him. With the same look that she had after Sephiroth descended upon her in this very altar. With the same look in her eyes she had whenever Cloud was near, that Cloud had so longed to see again. “I’m sorry, Cloud...” Aeris whispered as Cloud caught her.
Interestingly enough, there was no opposition when Yuffie returned the materia to Midgar. It was the same way when they returned the materia to the Ancient City. “This is too easy!” Yuffie was in a really good mood now, because she was doing such a good job as leader. “I wish I was leader more often.” Yuffie thought to herself as she envied and despised the way Cloud always got to be leader. “You’re not the leader!” screamed Cid. “I’d be damned if I had such a ^(#*@% leader like you!” Yuffie looked like she was going to cry. “Stop it, Cid.” Cloud walked up behind Cid. “Cloud!” shouted Yuffie. “Hey!” Barret walked up to Cloud. “How did you find us?” Cloud replied, “You found me.” “We did?” Yuffie looked at Cloud, and asked, “Hey, Cloud, is something wrong?” Yuffie walked up to Cloud and put her hand to his mouth. “You looked depressed.” “It’s nothing.” replied Cloud, nonchalant. “Okay.” Yuffie walked back. Cloud examined the group. “So, what are you all doing?” Vincent explained to Cloud about how some evil lifestream managed to break lose and is going all over the world and will make everyone turn into evil psychopaths unless it is stopped. It was an awful lot to absorb, considering that Cloud just saw what that evil makuro could do. “Um, guys? I, er, Reeve just found out something you should know.” Everyone turned their attention to the cat on the big fat moogle. “What is it?” Cloud asked. “It’s weapon. The beasts are back.”
The dark red beast raised out of the desert once again. It raised it’s arms, and fire blasted out at the connected group of gold saucers. The people inside screamed in panic. A huge monster with a long tail, with an equally enormous green companion, blasted energy beams of destruction at the helpless town. The five weapons were destroying everything. But why? They were built for the purpose of protecting the planet, not killing innocent people. However, possessed by the dark lifestream, they now had a new purpose. To allow the dark lifestream to grow by sending more lives into its waiting arms...
“But I’m supposed to be the leader!” Yuffie whined as Cloud decided who should go to fight which weapon. “No you’re not!” answered Cid. “Besides,” added Cloud, “It just would be stupid to have another leader besides me when I’m around.” Yuffie frowned. “Okay, this is it. Cid, you take the Knights of the Round and the mime and go get rid of Ruby weapon.” “By myself!?” asked a frightened Cid. “Of course! We all know that you can only fight the Ruby weapon one-on-one.” “Fine.” Cid grabbed the Knights of the Round materia from Yuffie. “Okay, Barret with his missing score, Yuffie with her conformer, and I with my fighting skills that are strangely superior to everyone else for some strange stupid reason, will take care of Emerald weapon. We need the most powerful ultimate weapons for that thing.” “Um, Cloud?” Yuffie poked Cloud on the shoulder. “What!?” asked Cloud. “I sort of used my throw materia when I darted my conformer at Godo.” “WHAT!?” Cloud was enraged. “You threw away your ultimate weapon!?” “Um, yeah.” Cloud sighed. “Fine then. We’ll take Vincent, instead. Vincent, how powerful is your weapon?” Vincent replied unemotionally, “I don’t know. How many bad guys did you greedy pigs let me finish off over the course of our adventures?” Cloud let out another sigh. “Anyway,” he resumed, “Yuffie, Red XIII, and Cait Sith will take care of Diamond and Ultimate weapon. You should have no problem, since those two are drastically MUCH easier than Emerald and Ruby for some strange reason. When we are all finished, we will regroup at Junon and take on Sapphire, if that’s his real name. I don’t want to take any chances with that thing, since I don’t know its exact power. Let’s mosey.” “MOVE!” cried Cid. “Fine. Let’s move.” Everyone boarded the Highwind. Behind her back, Yuffie was holding a spiked circular ring. It was her conformer. “Not let me be leader, eh?” Yuffie smiled to herself. “I’m so sly...”
Cloud, Vincent, and Barret were dropped off to confront Emerald while Cid was loaned Cloud’s golden chocobo so he could fight Ruby. However, upon meeting the Ultimate Weapon...
“I have an idea!” screamed Yuffie. “What is it? Woof.” asked Red XIII. “You two take care of the two wimpy weapons. I still have to return the chocobo lure to its original location.” “Why you?” asked Cait Sith in a sort of peeved tone. “Because I’m the one who found them in the first place!” screamed Yuffie. “Now go fight those weapons!”
Kalm Town was usually just that. A calm town. However, as the sky turned
dark and engulfed the small village, that all changed. Soon, madness overcame
the townsfolk.