Movies to Go
Three Minutes or Less, or No Money Back
Three Minute Titanic! - by Paladin
Jack: I'm glad we won that poker game and got to come on board this ship,
the luxurious Titanic, a ship that cannot possible sink.
Deck Hand: Who are you talking to, riff raff?
Jack: Yup, no icebergs are gonna' sink this ship.(deck hand looks around)
(Jack sees woman) Excuse me miss, are you Rose? I'm a charming rapscallion!
Rose: My one weakness, charming rapscallions. If only I weren't already
engaged to Evil Man.
Evil Man: Haha! Rose, get away from that rapscallion, you know I hate
them.(clog dancers dance in, creating confusion) Curses, she's disappeared!
(Ice Berg hits ship, throwing dancers overboard).
Jack(running with Rose to old car): Did you see that Ice Berg?
Rose: Yes, I looked at the ship's schematics and determined that an
Ice Berg like that could sink this ship.(they jump in car, 5 seconds pass, Rose
gets out, looking desheveled) That was fun.
Jack(gets out with picture): I drew this picture of you while we were in
the back of the car. It's good, but it doesn't have the huge gem that you
are going to steal from your fiance. I'll draw that in later.
Evil Man(leaping out of shadows): AHA! Rose, hold this priceless gem while
I chain Jack up in the bowels of the ship to drown when it sinks. I could shoot
him, but this will save me a bullet. I can easily afford the bullet, but when
you're as rich and evil as I am, you don't have to justify.(Evil drags Jack
away).
Rose: 3-2-1...(follows) No, Jack! (returns wet, with Jack in tow) That
was quite an escape, with the ship filling with water and the doomed passengers
and all that.(they run onto deck, ship tilts up, throwing all remaining passengers
off)
Jack: This water is COLD! (Rose climbs on floating board) Rose, no matter
what, promise me you won't let go.
Rose(sweeping arms, letting go of Jack): I promise I won't let go, Jack!
Jack(sinking): (glub glub glub)(scene changes to old Rose)
Old Rose: So I never made a good decision in my life. So I don't break the
streak, I am now going to throw this priceless gem into the ocean.(throws gem
into water, crew dives in after it) And that's how I escaped the Hindenburg.
Run Time: 2 Minutes 5 seconds
Three Minute Meet Joe Black! - by Paladin
Scene 1 - Street -- Brad Pitt and woman
Brad Pitt(to woman): You're cute.
Woman(to Brad Pitt): I am uncommonly attracted to you as well.
Brad Pitt: Look over there(both look, car hits Brad Pitt, Brad Pitt is
launched out of scene).
Woman: Oh, he's gone.
Scene 2 - Building -- Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins
Anothony Hopkins: Ow! I'm dying!
Brad Pitt: Yes, I am death, but I look like Brad Pitt.
Anthony Hopkins: No!
Brad Pitt: Yes!
Anthony Hopkins: No!
Brad Pitt: Yes! And I want to party.
Anthony Hopkins: Ok. We'll go to my house.
Scene 3 - House -- Anthony Hopkins, Brad Pitt, Woman, Various House Guests
Anthony Hopkins: Hello everyone. This is my newest guest, death. He may
look like Brad Pitt, but he isn't. You can call him Joe Black. My daughter
has a thing for him carried over from Scene 1.(Guests murmur approval)(woman and
Brad Pitt jump on table, kissing)
Scene 4 - Party -- Anthony Hopkins, Brad Pitt
Brad Pitt: While making out I realized that your daughter doesn't love me,
she really loves Brad Pitt. Now you die.
Anthony Hopkins: Bummer. Can I stare at walls now?
Brad Pitt(checking watch): Yes, for roughly 2 minutes and 15 seconds. Then
Brad Pitt and your daughter live happily ever after. (Anthony Hopkins stares
at wall for 2 minutes).
Run Time: 3 Minutes
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