All For the Love of You
chapter 8
by Manille
I went downstairs to find a book on Asian History. As I did, I heard the gentle strums of a guitar being played.
"Toosan?"
"Hello, Misako." Toosan, still strumming the guitar, smiled at me. "Finished with your assignments?"
"Yeah, I’ll just have to find a book to bring to school tomorrow…." I browsed through a bookshelf and pulled a thick book out.
"Misako, come here."
Oh, no. I dreaded that moment. He would talk to me about the rei gan and being a tantei. My evening would be ruined.
Not that my day wasn’t ruined.
I sat on the couch beside Toosan and looked at him closely. Why, his moustache was gone! His face was cleanly shaved. He didn’t even have his glasses on. I gazed at him even closer. His deep brown eyes looked intently on the strings of the guitar. His straight black hair, where the light overhead reflected upon, flew about neatly as the ceiling fan turned.
Yeah. Toosan really is handsome. I’ve seen his pictures in the album Kaasan had shown me; he looked handsome in them. And up to now, he still looked handsome. Hmm, no wonder Kaasan loved him very much. But…I knew it was more than the facial features.
"What are you looking at me like that for?"
I straightened up. I didn’t know he’d notice. "It’s just that…you look great."
He stopped strumming the guitar and looked at me, his smile wide. "Really?"
I nodded sincerely. "Kaasan is not going to make you sleep all night."
Toosan laughed hard, slapping the guitar as he did. I laughed with him.
"You naughty, naughty girl," he chided.
"Just like you."
"Ha-ha!" Suddenly, Toosan’s arms were around me.
I sighed. After a moment of silence, "Toosan, do you know how much Kaasan loves you?" I asked him, my voice muffled on his night robe.
He pondered for a while. "Of course I do. She’s very patient with me. She’d known all along that I’m impossible, but still…she never gave up on me. And even when she had to wait, she remained faithful."
I smiled to myself. Their love story was just glorious.
Wait a minute. Why was I asking about their love story?
Was I envious?
Saikaku. Once again, his blue eyes were on me.
"Misako?"
"Yeah?"
Toosan held my shoulders and looked at me at arms length. He gazed at me questioningly, slightly sadly. "…Do you want to become a tantei?"
I felt my heart sink. "Of—of course I don’t Toosan. And you know it."
"Misako…" He trailed a finger across my cheek. "I…I don’t want you to be in danger. I told you yesterday that it’s up to you to make the decision because…your mother and I had talked about it for a long time…that you’re growing up."
Growing up.
Growing up.
Is it that bad?
Yeah, most probably.
"You’re becoming independent from us," Toosan continued. "And we realized that you might want to be a tantei and help save the world. But…Misako, from the very beginning, I never wanted you to become a Reikai tantei."
I looked at him.
I felt a tear roll down my cheeks slowly. "Toosan…I…I don’t want to be a tantei."
I waited for the heavy load in my back to vanish.
But it didn’t.
"You…don’t want to?"
"No," I told him, shaking my head firmly.
I didn’t want to be a tantei because I knew that my parents wouldn’t like it. I wanted them to be happy with me.
But why didn’t that load get off?
Had I made the wrong decision?
Was this where I was most comfortable in? Being a normal junior high school student?
Or did I want something else?
Did I want to be a Reikai tantei but decided against it because my parents didn’t want anything to happen to me?
"Misako…." I could see Toosan’s eyes coated with liquid. "Misako-chan…thank you."
Toosan hugged me again. I nuzzled deeply into his abdomen as if it were my hiding place. Hiding place from what? Conscience? Problems?
Growing up.
It never was easy.
But somehow, I was glad that I made Toosan happy.
We stayed like that for a long moment. Then I heard Toosan ask, "By the way, I didn’t see Saikaku take you home."
Toosan, why mention his name in such a lovely moment?
"He was…busy." There. I lied again.
"Hmm."
"Toosan, what do you think of him?"
"Of Saikaku?"
"Er…yes…."
Arrgh! Where did that come from? I just blurted the question out!
"Saikaku…he’s a great guy," Toosan said. I felt his hand caress my hair. "Reminds me of myself years ago."
"You were acting as if you were cool?"
"Ha-ha! No, not exactly acting. And not exactly trying to be cool, either. Why? Is Saikaku trying to be cool?"
"No. He’s born cool."
"In what ways?"
"Stupid ways, like skipping classes, joining in battles, eating in class restaurants, hanging with other cool guys."
"He hangs out with you most of the time."
"Yeah. And the only thing that makes him a normal person is me."
"Good for you," Toosan said. "You’re like your mother. All it takes me is one look from her and I shut up. I was a bully, cutting classes everytime. But…Saikaku’s different. He cuts classes less times than I used to."
"That’s the only difference?"
"Well, he’s a respectful kid."
"You weren’t respectful?"
"Sounds hard to believe, but true. The only person I was courteous to is to your kaasan’s parents...and to Genkai-baasan. Even to Koenma, I wasn’t. And to think he’s a prince."
"Toosan…who is Genkai-baasan?"
"Oh, she was my sensei," he said. "Sensei about spiritual powers. I became the successor to her ki. Unfortunately…she’s dead now."
"She must have meant a lot to you."
"Yeah…she still does."
Quietness settled on the two of us. I lay there, on Toosan’s bosom, like a baby. I almost slept there, actually, if Kaasan hadn’t spoken up.
"I didn’t want to interfere," she said softly. "The two of you look so sweet."
"Keiko, it was just a little father-daughter talk," Toosan said.
Groaning, I sat up and smiled at the two. "Sorry."
"It’s okay, dear." Kaasan gave me a peck on the cheek. Her gaze fell on Toosan’s face. "Oh, you removed your moustache."
Kaasan’s voice and expression was purely of surprise. I wondered if she would make Toosan sleep.
"I’ll be going up too," Toosan said. He bent over and kissed me on the forehead. "Sweet dreams, honey."
"Good night, you two," I called after them.
As they ascended the stairs, I saw Toosan wrap his arms around Kaasan’s waist. He kissed her neck.
"Mm…Yusuke, wait till we’re in our room," Kaasan growled at him. The two chuckled softly.
Even I had to smile.
Standing up, I picked up the Asian History book from the couch. I saw the guitar Toosan had left. I carried it as well as I went up to my room.
"What to do?" I asked myself aloud as I sat on my bed, hugging my knees close to my chest. I wasn’t sleepy yet. Type a story? No, not inspired to write. Read? Nope, no good book available.
My gaze dropped on the guitar. I hadn’t held it for quite some time.
I picked it up and went over to my window. I opened the window and shoved aside the stuffed toys that lay on the windowsill. Most of those toys reminded me of…of Saikaku. Either he had given it to me or we won it together at some fair.
I sat on the sill, my favorite place to play the guitar. The evening breeze blew on wisps of my hair. It was untied, but I let it be.
I racked my head for some song, a current hit, but nothing seemed to be good on those days. Some old song? Yeah. I remembered my parents’ CD collection of foreign artists, back when Western pop was really a hit around Japan.
I struck on a chord. " ‘From this moment’," I began. " ‘Life has begun, from this moment….’ "
No sooner had I begun when I suddenly stopped. Nope, it was not the song for that evening. Mellow and sweet.
I strummed again on the strings, this time with a fast tempo. " ‘Kiss me…’ "
I stopped again after those two words. Nope. Heh, talk about mellow.
The music of a song hit my head as if someone had thrown it on me. Should I use the version that starts at G or one which starts at D9? The D9 was sung by a woman, but I liked the melody of the G better.
Oh, well.
I started at G and plucked on some strings. As the music got into me, I closed my eyes.
" ‘It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart…without saying a word, you can light up the dark…’ "
I sang softly, with my eyes closed, as the melody drifted me off to those days. Those days, when I was young. I didn’t know why, but the first person I saw was Saikaku…from the moment I met him…until now.
I suddenly remembered.
The girls—they were talking about the latest Barbie doll that walked around on its long, disproportional legs.
Yuck! I hated Barbie dolls.
Even as a kid, I felt that I was different from the other girls. Like I was some kind of a tomboy. But I didn’t play with robots, either. I wanted…games that involved fists and knees.
Like brawls.
But who would want to pick a fight with a girl?
I was in the first grade then. Since no one wanted to play with me, and I didn’t want to play with any girls, I held a pencil and paper and started writing about things. The flowers outside, the stuffiness of the classroom, my classmates sticking their tongue out at each other, the booger hanging outside my teacher’s nose.
That was too much.
So I was wild—but I was quiet as long as I wrote.
There’s a boy named Saikaku in the class who always showed off whatever was new in him. One day, as I wrote, he happened to saunter over.
"What’s that?" he asked.
"Oh…it’s just my story," I replied in a little voice.
"A story?" He seemed interested, for he managed to sit down with me. "What’s it about?" he asked, trying to peep into the pad of paper. "Wha’? There’s a booger—oomph!"
I had clasped my hand over his mouth to prevent
him from saying anything further.
I graduated with distinction from elementary. Guess what Saikaku did then.
"Hey, Misako! Congratulations!" he almost shouted as he shook my hand. "My best friend is very, very intelligent!"
"Yeah, right," I said, rolling my eyes, but smiling. "Congratulations, too."
"Eh? For what?"
"For graduating, dummy. What else?"
"I don’t know…but thanks anyway."
"Aren’t you proud?"
"Of course I am! I managed to pull all my grades upwards so that they’re all worthy enough to make me get out of elementary."
"Thank goodness we got out together."
"Heck, of course we did. Best friends forever, right?"
"Yeah. Forever."
Without warning, Saikaku kissed me on the cheek. It happened too suddenly—I didn’t even see him bend down. But when I felt his lips, he was already smiling at me.
"Ha! Gotcha!" He shouted, running off to the thickness of the crowd.
"Baka! Come back here and rinse
your drool off my cheek!"
It was one of the worst of times. Saikaku and I were surrounded by bullies. Nope, not just the bullies. Worse than bullies. They held knives on their hands.
"Misako, get out of here while you still can," he muttered at me.
"No way. I’m going to stay here with you and fight until the end."
Saikaku even managed to chuckle. "Yeah, right."
The next thing I knew, I was kicking faces and slapping hands. I succeeded in twisting a knife off one of them, and I thought it was over, when….
"Misako!!!"
I gasped, turning around sharply.
"Ahh!"
"Saikaku!!!"
I fell face-first on the ground, Saikaku behind me. "Ahh…" I heard him groaning.
"Saikaku, are you all right?"
"I’m…okay…were you hurt?"
"What happened?"
"Ahh…" Saikaku was still groaning as sat up.
"Saikaku, what happened?" I sat up too. My face suddenly hurt. I felt a bump coming out of my forehead.
"Oh, my God, I’m hurt…."
He was clutching his left biceps. I pried his fingers off it.
It was bleeding profusely.
"No," I gasped.
"Y-you almost had this wound on your neck if I didn’t…."
"Oh, Saikaku, thank you," I told him, tears rushing up to my eyes. I put his other arm across my shoulders. "We’re going to the hospital. Come on."
"Misako…I didn’t…didn’t want anyone to hurt you."
Out of desperation, tears fell down
continually. "Yes, Saikaku. I know. I know."
" ‘The smile on your face lets me know that you need me, there’s a truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me. The touch of your hands says you’ll catch me wherever I fall. You say it best when you say nothing at all.’ "
How could he tell me that I don’t appreciate anything he did?
I’m very grateful for him, for noticing me in that grade school class, else I would have been a loner. I’m thankful for all the silly charades we shared together; for the nights we spent playing PlayStation until dawn, with our parents finding us asleep on each other’s shoulders; for the times we fought off the bullies that were often seen around the city, waiting for a potential victim; and for saving me whenever I was in trouble.
No words could ever express how I feel towards him. He is my friend, my best friend. I appreciate everything he does for me.
The fight in the school…it was just nothing, nothing! He was upset because I almost died. Okay, I appreciated his concern, but he went too far. But I should have understood how he felt…how he wanted to protect me, more than anything else.
I sang, my voice louder this time. I felt tears brimming in my eyes until I couldn’t hold them back any longer. As they did, I could even hear his voice blending beautifully with mine….
" ‘…You say it best…when you say nothing at all….’ "
The last word died in my throat, but I continued plucking the strings. I leaned my head on the window frame behind, me, letting tears fall down.
I missed Saikaku. I could still hear his voice….
I stopped all of a sudden. My eyes wide with anticipation, I looked down.
"Hey, Misako!"
Oh, my God.
"What the hell are you doing here?!" I yelled. Our neighbors could probably hear me.
"I just want to say sorry!"
I couldn’t speak. I wanted to laugh out loud at the silliness of the situation; cry hysterically for he was finally back, asking for my forgiveness; and get mad at him for ruining my song.
"Misako, I’m sorry! Please, come down here!"
My face reddened. I hopped off the windowsill and slammed the window shut.
Clink! Saikaku was throwing pebbles at my window.
Clink! Clink!
"Misako, what’s going on there?!"
Shoot, it was Kaasan. As a last resort, I opened the window again. "You’re waking everybody up!"
"I’m not going to stop hollering down here until you say I forgive you!"
"This is an old strategy, you baka!" I shouted. "I’ve read it in pocketbooks lots of times already!"
"It always works!"
"Not this time!"
"That’s what you think! PEOPLE OUT HERE IN URAMESHI MISAKO’S NEIGHBORHOOD, I’M ANNOUNCING TO YOU ALL THAT I’M IN LOVE WITH HER!!!"
Damn.
Okay, that was what happened in the pocketbooks.
But I didn’t know Saikaku would really say it!!!
I heard a hoot. One of our neighbors. "Misako, come down and meet your boyfriend while we sleep in peace!" a woman shouted.
"Yeah! Sleep in peace with him!"
I alternately paled and blushed. I didn’t know what to do. Do what they said? Come down and meet him?
"Misako!" It was Toosan knocking on my door. "Misako, for the love of God, go down! He’s waiting for you with open arms!"
"No way! I hate him!"
"You were asking about him just a while ago!"
"Arrgh!!!" I yelled. "You baka! I want to sleep too! Go home! Get out of here!"
"Okay, but I did it! I said it in front of everyone! And what I’m saying is true, Misako! If you’re not mad at me anymore, I’ll meet you in the ice cream parlor tomorrow at nine in the morning!"
"Well, at least let me sleep so that I could wake up that early?"
"Of course! By the way, your voice is very beautiful!"
Three hoots. No, four. Five. Arrgh!
"Good night, my love!"
Six hoots. Eight. Eleven.
I slammed the window shut. I looked at the closet mirror. My, was my face red! I could have been a substitute for a tomato.
I couldn’t release my scowl. The idiot of Saikaku to come over!
But as I remembered how silly he looked, and the effort he made to yell at everyone like that, I couldn’t help but smile.
In fact, I was smiling as I tucked myself to sleep.