Since that night when Rukawa first kissed me (I mean really kiss me) I have started to feel awkward around him. I tried to cover it up by insulting and annoying him more often than usual and he didn't seem to notice my change in behaviour. Either that or he just didn't want to say anything.
Other than that everything was normal. Most nights I would go out with Haruko to enjoy the peaceful serenity of mother earth under the pale moon or go out to watch the different looking mortals passing along the street as we perched unnoticed on a street lamp or on the rooftop of a building. Haruko would make comments about what sort of life she guessed each person has and more often than not she was dead right on her assumptions as we followed each subjects to their destination.
Rukawa would sometimes accompany us when he deigns to drag himself away from the comforts of his coffin or somewhere else he could drop his head onto without cramping his body. He is like that. Sleeping whenever and wherever it suits him.

Tonight Haruko and I went shopping. Rukawa wasn't with us but he wasn't missed. Not by me, but Haruko kept saying that she wished him to be there, making me grit my teeth in jealousy. Wasn't I good enough? I gave up my life for her! But I couldn't say that. Not to her, for she is my life and I wouldn't do anything to hurt her feelings.
While we shopped everyone looked at us but no one dared to approach except for the timid salespeople in the stores. I was puffed up with pride as I brought Haruko around the shops, her hand in mine. Who wouldn't be proud to have by his side the most beautiful girl on the face of the earth?! A few other girls gave awed looks my way and although I was ecstatic by the attention (as I always am every since I became a vampire. Heh, another good point for being one) but with Haruko with me I didn't care for any of them. Haruko bought two sets of clothes and she made me see if they fit her. And they did. Perfectly. I thought vampires don't blush but I felt heat rising to my cheeks even after we stepped out of the doors of the boutique. She insisted that we buy some clothes for myself so I let her pull me into a men's boutique and helped me pick a suit and two sets of casual clothing. Again I felt the adoring looks coming from the sales girls but the sight of Haruko's eyes shining with approval made me blind to other people's stares.

After the shopping excursion we went back home, put our purchases in our rooms before going out onto the grassy lawn of our house and sat under the stars, just talking and enjoying the rest of the night together by ourselves.
I laid down on the grass with my hands under my head, looking at the luminous moon and occasionally flitting my gaze to Haruko's etheral-looking face. She sat beside me as she also gazed at the moon. I thought I've never seen a more beautiful sight than her.

She suddenly spoke after a minute of silence, startling me out my reverance for her beauty, "Sakuragi-kun, are you happy here?"

"Yes, of course. With you here Haruko, I'm happy," I told her.
I was surprised why she asked me that. I asked her, "How about you?"

She smiled at me, "I am. Although I miss okaasan, outosan and especially oniisan but with you.... and Rukawa-kun with me, it is enough."

Again I felt jealousy seep through me. It was how she spoke of the fox's name that made me feel that she wouldn't miss me as much as Rukawa if one of us were to go away. She looked at me then and I felt that blush coming onto me again. I was afraid that she has read my thoughts on my feelings for Rukawa but instead of expecting a chastise from her, she bent down and kissed me. At first I was shocked but realisation came to me swiftly. Haruko was kissing me! Not the usual kiss as in 'you're my friend and I love you' type kiss but the one that said 'you're a part of my life and I love you'. I steadied my trembling hand and gently held her's that cupped my cheek with her soft palm. At that moment I would've done anything she asked of me - even to the point of burning myself to the sun.

Just as I thought that this was one of those perfect nights I could ever dream about, I noticed a shadow falling over us. I didn't act instantly - so oblivious was I with Haruko's mind-dissolving kiss but Haruko pulled back, making me nearly groan with disappointment. Instead I turned to look at the newcomer and bared my fangs to him. Rukawa. Damn him.

I propped myself on my elbows and growled at his unwanted presence. Haruko welcomed him with a lovely smile and open arms. Rukawa knelt down beside her and the two shared a long kiss that made me want to rip those two apart in anger. Just as I was about to do what my jealousy-riddled heart desired, they parted. Haruko gave a sigh and I thought she was looking a little bit flushed. And then Rukawa turned to me and bent down to kiss me before I could register his action. I could understand Haruko's preoccupation on Rukawa's kiss because while her kisses were gentle, sweet and caring, Rukawa's were fierce, passionate and dominating. I thought he would pull back after that long moment of toe-curling lip-lock but instead he pressed close to me and pushed me onto the ground, still not breaking away. I found myself kissing back, fire for fire, my desire fueled by his. Only when he was nipping at my neck and straddling me did I come to my senses and pushed him back.

I frantically looked around and saw that Haruko was no longer with us.
"She's gone," Rukawa told me. Well, duh.

I pushed him away again as he was about to kiss me again. "It's all your fault! Now she's hurt!"

"She respects my decision to want you as much as her," he said, "Yes, she might be hurt but she knows that she belongs to me as you are."

Bloody bastard. His lips touched mine again and I let him cover me with his body. Instead of taking a swing at him I fought with him in our kissing, trying to bruise him with my fingers and cut him with my teeth. Instead of hurting him as I intended for being so callous with Haruko's feelings, he seemed to revel at the abuse I gave him. But when he touched me I was then the one whimpering for mercy. My arousal was hard and desperate in his hand and when he bit me on my neck, I came. I swear that it was the first-earth shattering orgasm that I have ever had. As I began to regain my wits, I felt his tongue lick the bloody sweat off of my cheek and said, "You are what I have hoped for."

I didn't understand what he meant but all I know was after that, between me and him, all have changed. I know I wouldn't be able to look at Rukawa without wanting him to pleasure me - and me pleasuring him. His fangs piercing my skin was more erotic than his hand in my pants.
I am confused as to where this sinful feeling comes from. I do, however, realise that I wouldn't be able to push him away as much as I did when he first came to me to take my life of a mortal away.

After a few moments of what a dreamer would call 'basking in the afterglow' I stood up and adjusted my clothing. It was partly ruined by the grass stain and what seemed to be stains from my own body. After I managed to slip away from Rukawa's grasp I changed my clothes and went to look for Haruko. She wasn't anywhere in the wide expanse of the compound and so I guessed that she must've gone out. I was a bit worried because she never went out alone without me or Rukawa. Just as I was about to go out to fetch her back before dawn comes, she appeared in front of the gate to the house and brushed past me without a word. I pulled ber back to apologise but her look stopped me from saying anything. Yeah, she was hurt alright but as she was too polite to say it, her eyes told me enough.

Dawn has come and I have to retire to my coffin for now. I need to resolve this soon for what peace can I have if I hurt the one person that I really care about?
I now know that I love Rukawa for what he is - my maker and passion-bringer - but Haruko is my first love born out of purity and innocence. Rukawa might be the centre of my all but Haruko is my life.


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