|
|
in the years he's spent as a whose line contestant, tony has become notorious for his smutty jokes, clever remarks, and involuntary giggling. he has also greatly contributed to constantly mocking clive anderson, which makes up for a large quotient of these classic moments.
film & theatre styles. tony and sandi toksvig are trapped on a desert island, in the style of a yellow pages advert. tony suggests looking up M for "multiple."
hoedown. instead of singing, tony begins to pull out a handkerchief out of his mouth, humming. he ends the performance with "...and then i cut it off."
party quirks. tony's famous remark to clive: "oh well, f*ck off!!!"
world's worst. the subject is "the worst thing to see on tv."
tony:(clicks remote) oh look, it's clive, patronizing people all over the world!
clive: don't bring clive james into this!
tony:(comes back up, clicks remote)i meant clive anderson.
party quirks. before the party, tony, yet again, pokes fun at clive, "let me put on these heavy duty sunglasses, in case clive arrives without a hat."
party quirks. rory bremner, one of tony's guests thinks he's tony and pulls off a brilliant impression, which provokes tony to declare he's not playing anymore.
superheroes. tony rushes in, wearing his infamous green velour jacket.
tony: sorry i'm late, i was swapping clothes with christopher biggins!
scenes from a hat. the subject is "rejected proverbs." tony walks up to the other contestants, wearing the same green jacket, remarking "always let the wardrobe mistress choose your clothes!"
helping hands. tony is providing hands for josie, and in response to her biting his finger, starts fondling her breast.
party quirks. before the party begins, tony picks up the phone - "hello, are you clive anderson ties limited? yes, i think you should shut down, BYE."
super heroes. tony has just arrived on the scene.
tony: sorry i'm late, i was getting my prostate engraved!
scenes from a hat. the subject is "what your adolescence was really like." josie comes over, tony comes up to her, covers his eyes, and quickly walks away.
emotion option. tony and josie in a launderette.
tony: your shirt ran very badly, didn't it? ..in the wash
josie: sorry, you talking to me?
tony: yes, i am. what cycle should i put my underpants on? got an r(?) or a tandem..no, that's just my launderette joke..
josie: let's have a look at your underwear then.
tony: nooooo...it's embarrassing..
josie: it's a funny tan colour..
depressed mood
tony: that's not the colour of the underpants, i just had a bit of an accident.
josie: i know, i can smell you from here.
tony: depressing, isn't it?
josie: depressing working in a launderette.
tony: i'll just turn down the horizontal on your shirt.[twists imaginary nipple knob]
world's worst. the subject is "the worst thing to be given on a plane."
tony: hello, here's the engine.
world's worst. the subject is "the worst person to be president in a time of intergalactic crisis."
tony: ladies and gentlemen, richard nix...oh my [audience boos]
clive: it's topical now, it's be great in six months' time...
tony: he'll still be dead
world's worst. the subject is, "the worst thing for a doctor/surgeon to say."
tony: now, mrs.johnson, if you just put your breasts here...[rubs his face in the imaginary breasts]
credits. tony is the winner, and is told to read the credits in the style of a drunken australian soap star. he walks up, and as the credits start rolling, faints.
news report. tony is the expert in the studio. the story is noah's arc in australia.
tony: and you know, people think noah, being australian, like all australians, is vulgar. [burps] that's not so.
|
|
|
|
