March 08-24, 2001 Journal April 01-??, 2001 Journal
March 07, 2001
Happy birthday Mom. Ok, I am getting really mad now. I have accidently deleted my page twice and I have to lose what I wrote or lose the whole thing. I am getting really mad. When you highlight something to delete it, it deletes the whole page, I guess that's becuase of the way I am typing in here. I won't make that mistake again...or I won't write in here today. Anyway, as I was saying...again...Some people have told me that my page loads too slow, so I deleted some pictures off there. Check it out and tell me if that's any better. I was talking to my friend Shannon (the adoption lawyer) last night and she told me of a web site to check out. Her old firm used to work with them. They are called Heartsent. I didn't really care for their web page. They didn't post any fee's or schedule of payment. They also have poor quality pictures on there, but I guess that's not all that important. I tried to link to a web site last night that is compiling biography's of regular people. It is really a very interesting page, if you are interested in different cultures and people's lives. They are called Museum of the Person. I wasn't able to submit my site though, their page wasn't working and I just got an error signal, but I will try again. I found them through another page that I have been visiting for the past few years. It is the diary of a woman who adopted a baby from China, then went and lived there for 2 years! Is that amazing or what? The web page that I have marked as my favorite place on the web is part of her's, her web page is Lisa McClure's web site, or something like that. I have been so busy with my studying that I haven't been able to practice my Chinese, and it's killing me. I am having the best time. I did write the characters and assoc. Chinese words from memory one day during my microbiology class. I did pretty well. Next week is spring break, so I'm hoping to have more time to study and hopefully get to at least lesson 4 (I'm on lesson 2 now).
March 03, 2001
I have been working hard on my web page for the past 10 days or so. I worked on it steady last weekend and then decided if I was going to pass the few tests I had last week I need to study, so that's what I've been doing. I did find two web pages that allow you to link to them and then you get paid if anyone visits from your links. I bet it doesn't amount to anything, but it's not like it's hurting me any to have them on there. Although I hate advertisements when I look at web pages. I have decided to do something. For those of you that know me, you know I am infamous for starting and then quitting "projects". I have a closet full of partially finished quilts, cross-stitch projects, a scrapbook I haven't worked on in months, rubber stamps, etc...so this will probably go the same way. But I have decided to try to learn Chinese. I got a book from the bookstore and let me tell you, it's hard. At first I just wanted to learn how to write the characters, but now I have decided to concentrate more on the reading of the words/characters. The book I have emphasizes reading both the words and characters together. And the way I learn is to do it myself, so unfortunaely I can't learn the characters without writing them myself, but I have decided that I will get better with time and not to worry as much about being perfect writing them. So I will have a link to a page that shows my progress. So far I've only been doing it for 3 days. Here is what I remember from memory. Ren means man, dao means knife, zi means son, li means strength or power, xiao means small, nu means woman or female, tu means mountain...(tu actually means earth or soil, kou means mouth or entrance, da means large or big and shan means mountain. I had to look in the book for these ones). So I new 6 out of 10. That's not bad. I know the symbols for about 5 of those 10 also. I am going to make out notecards to quiz myself with. The book I have is broken into lessons. Those first 10 words are part of the first lesson, then they combine words and symbols to say like dadao (big + knife) means sword in Chinese (I remembered that one from memory. I also remember that nuren is woman (female + man).). Anyway, we shall see if I actually stick with this or not. If you are interested in following my progress learning Chinese, feel free to visit that page.
Feb. 24, 2001
This is my first journal entry. I wish this program had spell check on it, just to warn you all up front there is going to be a whole lot of misspelled words. I began to think about adopting from China about 6 years ago. I was married at the time and the discussion about China adoption shed a lot of light on who I was married to. Although at the time I was not infertile (more about that later), I had always known that I may not be able to concieve a baby, so adoption has always been an interest of mine. One day (I was trying to get pregnant at the age of 25 and not having any luck) I saw a story about Americans adopting Chinese baby girls and something clicked with me. I can't explain it, but from that moment I have known this is the way for me to go. I talked to my then husband that night and he said "I don't want to talk about it". So I let it drop for a few weeks and then I brought it up again (in the mean time I had done some internet research ... what little there was at that time). Again he refused to talk about Chinese adoption. I asked him if it was China he objected to or adoption in general (let me tell you, this was not the first time we had talked about adoption. I had known for 10 years at this point that I may not be able to have children on my own and never did I think that I would live my life childless). He said he didn't believe in adoption. Boy was this a shock to me. Somehow I had always kind of known in the back of my head that I would be adopting and to hear that your husband doesn't believe in adoption when you have fertility problems is a shocker. He refused to discuss the issue. Finally after more than a year I decided to leave. I can't imagine not having children. I could have accepted not adopting from China, but not to close the subject forever on adoption. So I moved to Tennessee from Washington State to finish up my bachelor's degree and here I am today, almost 5 years later. I met a wonderful man here in Nashville and we have been engaged for 2 years this month. Two and a half years ago I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer and had to have a hysterectomy. Like before I had always talked about adoption with Mike (we had been dating 2 years at this point) and even before the hysterectomy I had talked almost exclusevly about Chinese adoption. We hope to be married in about a year (so you can look forward to hearing all my frustrations over planning a wedding, we are waiting to see if an annulment from the Catholic Church comes through) and then we will start gatehring out paperwork for the adoption process and start it a year after we are married (unless we decide to do it earlier. Some agencies say you have to be married a year, others more and some less). If China is still open for adoption then we have both decided that is where our baby will come from. I think about this all the time. I have done tons of research on the subject and my best friend is an adoption lawyer and she has told me what she knows (they don't handle overseas adoptions though). So I have a long wait ahead of me and I need to start saving some money for this adoption. I am currently in school (I have a B.S. degree in psychology) for nursing. I should be done in about a year and a half or so. Mike is a veterinarian and we have a small condo where we live with our four animals. They are all loved to death and I can't imagine loving a baby more than I love my animals. I know that sounds stupid to some people, but they are such a part of the family. We have Vallie, Kasey, Amanda and Lola. |
