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The
Laughter Page!
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smtreasurer@hotmail.com
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Need
some light relief? Then this is the page for you! Feel free to pass on
any blessings these bring with others! Good clean funnies by Email also
welcome! They will be shown here where possible.
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www.glasgowelim.org.uk
Christpages - Linking the Christian Web since 1997
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(FROM FEBRUARY'S EDITION) "Church Bulletin Bloopers!" These are real church bulletin announcements! Don't let worry kill you...let the church help! Thursday night, "potluck supper"...prayer and medication to follow! Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community! For those of you who have children, and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs! The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belier, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belier.
This afternoon there will be a meeting at the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends! Tuesday at 4pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk please come early! Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, "Put me in my little bed", accompanied by the pastor! Thursday at 5pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers' Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water". One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in. Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind, and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday! A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow! At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be , "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice! Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the double door at the side entrance. The 2001 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 & 11. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary. New choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members, and to the deterioration of some older ones! The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning, to join the choir! Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan, who are preparing for the girth of their first child. Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children! (Not really...I don't think!) ________________ (FROM JANUARY'S EDITION) Dilbert's Rules of Order!
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