Synopsis: George decides he can avoid Allison's breaking up with him until after the annual Ball; then Allison and Kramer decide on a deal where he will break up with George for her; one of Elaine's co-workers decides that Elaine is someone named "Susie"; and Mike fearfully decides that Jerry's "phoniness" is a cover for a murderous life.

Missed the teaser.

Directed by: Andy Ackerman.

The Cast

Character	Actor
Jerry Seinfeld	Jerry Seinfeld
George Costanza	Jason Alexander
Kramer	Michael Richards
Elaine Benes	Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Mike Moffit	Lee Arenberg
Peggy	Megan Cole
Allison	Shannon Kenny
J. Peterman	John O'Hurley
Wilhelm	Richard Herd

When I printed this, it took 26 pages.

Notes:

• I had to get the first half minute of the first act (up to Mike saying ".. either of you guys wanna place a bet: I'm your guy") from a syndicated re-broadcast, but I think nothing was cut for that. I assume the syndication cut out the teaser (probably about a minute), so that's completely missing. :-( The rest is from a regular broadcast.

• Small, teal text is notes about camera movements, positions, and distance. I also did this for a drama.
  • Distances: close-up (CU), medium shot (MS), long shot (LS), two-shot (2S), long/medium shot (L/MS), or full shot (see all of people's bodies). This is just intuitive terminology (CU meaning very close, MS as anything from that to seeing most of someone's body, LS as an establishing shot, the layout of the scene/place). It's a terminology we all can understand.
  • They probably used only four cameras available at once, from what I hear.
  • It is very probable that the non-facial close-ups, the establishing shots, some reaction shots, and especially shots without people visible in them, are done at a separate time (I label such likely cameras a, b, c, instead of 1, 2, etc.) And of course there's the issue of mixing shots from different takes and splitting one set of action into two scenes. (An example here is I think that when Kramer came into the ballroom divided that scene into two scenes, so they really didn't need seven cameras to do that scene). Again, these are only my deductions. Try it, sometime. It's interesting. :o)
  • fg is foreground, bg is background, and CCW is counter-clockwise.
  • I put the total number of cameras in parentheses at the start of the notes. When there were extra cameras (those labeled a, b, c, etc.--see above), I add them. Example: "(4+1)" means four cameras plus one separate shot.
  • "Over X's shoulder," at least here, means you can see part of the given person (X)--sometimes it's his/her head. Unless otherwise noted, the shoulder is the person's left shoulder.
  • Unless otherwise noted, the cameras are stationary.
  • Catch the daylight/night continuity errors. ;-)

Braces {} enclose unclear speech.

Transcribed via VCR tape and microcassette tape.

(4) 1: high LS following Jerry and Kramer walking; 2: MS on J + K; 3: full shot on Mike at shop window; 2: MS on J + K; 4: MS on J + K (more in profile than cam. #2); 2: MS on J + K; 3: pans with M coming over; 2: MS on J + K, now over M's sh.; 3: MS on M; 2; 3; 2: MS on J + K, over M's sh; 3: MS on M; 4: MS all three, J crosses right, leaving; 3: MS on M; 2: MS on K + M; 3: MS on M, over K's rt. sh; 2: MS on M; 4: K + M, M crosses left, leaving; 2: K puts watch away, walks rt.

KRAMER
Look how dark it's gettin' already.

JERRY
Well, it's not Daylight Savings Time yet.

KRAMER
When does it start?

JERRY
[pause] I don't know, they just tell you the night before.

KRAMER
Uh. Well, I'm sick o' waiting. [pulls out his pocket watch (it has a chain, too)]
I am springin' ahead riiight now.

JERRY
[under breath] Oh, I'm sure that won't cause any problems..

[JERRY sees MIKE down the sidewalk. MIKE's peering into a shop window.]

JERRY
Oh, god, it's Mike Moffit..

KRAMER
Oh now, don't tell me you're still mad at him for calling you a phony. Jerry, that was five years ago!

JERRY
I'm not a phony an' I don't want anything to do with this guy.

KRAMER
Hey! Mike!

MIKE
[sees and is enthused, coming over] Kramer! Jerry! How's it goin'?!

JERRY
Fine. An' I'm not just sayin' that..

MIKE
Guess what? I just started my own business. I'm a bookie!

JERRY
No openings in arson?

MIKE
[pauses, struck by J's attitude] Either of you guys wanna place a bet: I'm your guy.

KRAMER
[quickly] Ah no no no. No bets for me, I uh, I got a disease.

JERRY
I'm feelin' a bit queasy myself. Maybe I'll see you in another five years. [casually leaves]

MIKE
Kramer. Jerry still mad about that "phony" thing?

KRAMER
You kidding? It's all water near a bridge.

MIKE
Hey, what time you got?

KRAMER
[pulling out his timepiece] Oh yes. Uh.. it's aaalmost six.

MIKE
Whoa--uh--I'm really late. [leaves]

(3+1): a: daylight shot of office building, looking up at it; 1: L/MS of Peggy's office including doorway; 2: MS on Peggy; 3: MS on Elaine, cam. follows her; 2: (MS on P); 3: MS on E; 1: L/MS on both as P continues work and E reacts at doorway.

ELAINE
Oh! These designs look great! Peggy, you really saved me.

PEGGY
Oh, it was no problem.

ELAINE
[leaving with the drawings] Mr. Peterman is gonna love 'em.

PEGGY
[focusing on her work] Thanks, Susie.

[At the door, ELAINE turns around, wondering if she heard right, and should she say anything. PEGGY looks up, pleasantly nods at her, and returns to her work. ELAINE wavers and decides to let it drop, and leaves.]

(3+1): a: Monk's at night: the "RESTAURANT" sign; 1: MS on Elaine, over Jerry's rt. sh.; 2: on J over E's sh.; 3: (when George comes over) L/MS over J's rt. sh, cam. trucks left; 2: (briefly); 3: (now a 3-shot); 1: 2S on G + E, over J's rt. sh.; then alt. 2 and 1, only going to 2 (Jerry) briefly (alts 4 times).

ELAINE
You won't believe this but, as I'm leaving, she calls me "Susie."

JERRY
I don't see you as a Susie. Sharon maybe.

ELAINE
What am I, a--a bulimic, chain-smoking, stenographer from Staten Island?

JERRY
Who are you describing?

ELAINE
Someone I know.

JERRY
Named Sharon?

ELAINE
I'd rather not say.

[GEORGE has just come in and grabs a chair to put a garment bag on.]

GEORGE
Hey.

ELAINE
[to say hello] Mmm!
What's in the bag?

GEORGE
[sitting] Newww tuxedo. For the Pinstripe Ball. Steinbrenner is throwing a huge party at Tavern on the Green, heh!

JERRY
Kind of a Yankee prom?

GEORGE
[resentfully dampened] It's not a prom. It's a Ball.

JERRY
You taking Allison?

GEORGE
Yes, of course I'm taking Allison. This woman is genetically engineered to go to a ball. Tall, blonde, lithe--

JERRY
Live?

ELAINE
Lithe.

GEORGE
Live?

ELAINE
[rolling her eyes] Lithe!

JERRY
Oh, lithe!

ELAINE
Well, you two'll have a great time there.

JERRY
It can't be worse than this.

ELAINE
Mmm!

GEORGE
An' wait'll you see the dress that she's got. It's backless! Uh?! I'm finally gonna make a Great Entrance!

ELAINE
Backless? Ya gonna back her in?

GEORGE
Elaine, when a woman makes a Ball Entrance.. she twirls.

ELAINE
She's not gonna twirl--

GEORGE
She'll Twirl.

(2): 1: L/MS on George's apartment (living room and door) as George and Allison enter; 2: MS on G, pans with him; 3: MS on A; 2: (on G); 3: on A, pans and tilts as she sits; then alt #2 and #3 (4[7] times).

GEORGE
That is what Mr. Steinbrenner wants. He wants, everyone, ta, twirl around.

ALLISON
[weary] All right.

GEORGE
Hey! Uh--listen--did you get your--uh--boss's Knick ticket, for Kramer?

ALLISON
[digging in purse] Yeah, uh--here. [hands him ticket]

GEORGE
Oh! Great!

ALLISON
Uh. Say, George--

GEORGE
Woo! Court side!
[mock-snide] Is that the best you could do? Ha ha!

ALLISON
[sitting] George. We need to talk.

GEORGE
What?

ALLISON
I really, think we need to talk.

GEORGE
[pause] Uh-oh.

(4+1) a: LS on Jerry's bldg's entrance; 1: MS on George at door, over Jerry's sh; 2: MS on J; 3: L/MS on G + J, pans; 4: MS on G, zooms in; 2: (MS on J); 4; 2; 4: (MS on G, pans); 2; 1: (briefly, MS on G over J's sh); 3: G + J (cam. trucks and backs to follow G's movements) G crosses right, comes toward camera, then goes left (he's going to front of couch, J following); 4: (MS on G); 2: (MS on J); alt #4 with #2 a few times, then #4 pans with G as continues around couch to back (J is seated on couch arm), camera (and G) stop at MS on G, over J's sh; 3: (as Kramer enters) 3-shot, trucks rt. with Kramer as J gets up, goes rt.; 1: MS on G, over K's sh (tickets); 3: (3-shot); 2: MS on K; 4: 3-shot (K in profile); then alt #2 (MS on K) with 1: MS on J, over K's sh.

JERRY
She wants to talk.

GEORGE
She doesn't Want to talk, she needs to talk.

JERRY
Nobody needs to talk.

GEORGE
Who would Want to.
She tried to end it with me, Jerry.

JERRY
What'd ya do?

GEORGE
I told her I was out o' soda, I went out to get some, an' I never went back.

JERRY
[pause] All night?!

GEORGE
Yeah, I slept at my parents' house.

JERRY
And she wants to break up with you..

GEORGE
Ha! [snort] Can you believe it? [amused] I'm supposed to be havin' lunch with her right now at Pomodoro.

JERRY
Uh-oh. "Everybody breaks up at Pomodoro's."

GEORGE
So? What'm I gonna do?

JERRY
You really like this girl.

GEORGE
No. I like the ball! This is my One Chance to make a Great Entrance! My whole life! I have never made a great entrance!

JERRY
You've made some Fine Exits.

GEORGE
[admitting] All right..

JERRY
So what do you do? You can't keep avoiding her.

GEORGE
[resolved] Why not.
[determined] If she can't find me, she can't break up with me. And, if we're still goin' out, she has to gooo to the ballll.

KRAMER
[suddenly entering] Hey, oh--listen. Did you get my ticket from Allison--

GEORGE
Yeah, yeah, right here. [hands it to him]

KRAMER
All right! Yeah.. Court side.. Whoa! Don't let this girl get away..

GEORGE
[clipping on shades] Ha.. She'll have to find me first. [leaving]

KRAMER
{All right.} [to JERRY] Ah? Oh, by the way: you owe Mike a hundred dollars.

JERRY
What for?

KRAMER
Well I put a bet down for ya on tonight's game. Yeah, if the Knicks beat the Pacers by more than thirty-five? It pays ten to one. Oo-oo! That's some sweet action!

JERRY
But I don't want any "sweet action."

KRAMER
Well, I couldn't do it: I got a gamblin' problem.

JERRY
So you put down my money?!

KRAMER
[impatient sigh] You don't have a problem.

JERRY
Not {with} that, no..

(3+1) a: daylight shot of office building from several stories up, looking down (bldg with "1325" banners); 1: L/MS on Peggy's office including door, as Elaine passes; 2: MS on P; 1: L/MS on office (P turned in profile); 2: MS on P; 3: MS on E; alt #2 and #3 (2[5] times); 1: (L/MS on office).

PEGGY
Susie.
Susie!

ELAINE
[coming in] Uh.. Hi, Peggy. Um.. Look, I should have said this yesterday, but--

PEGGY
Did you get this memo from Elaine Benes?

ELAINE
Yeah. See that--

PEGGY
[preoccupied] You know, it's amazing Peterman hasn't fired that dolt.
She practically ran the company into the gro-ound.

ELAINE
Well. Well, I thought she did a pretty good Job..

PEGGY
I heard she was a disaster, Suze--

ELAINE
[testy, leans into Peggy's personal space] Look-it. It's not Suze. All right? It's Su-sie. My name, is Su-sie!

[PEGGY feels quite threatened..]

(4+1) a: day ext. George's apt. entrance (green "321" awning); 1: full shot of George seated; 4: MS on Jerry, standing by counter in his apt. (cam. #4 from last scene); 2: MS on G; 4: (MS on J); 2; 4; 2; 3: MS from farther left; 2.

GEORGE
[on tape, singing] "Believe it or not, George, isn't at home, please leave a mes-saaage at the beep. I must be out or I'd pick up the pho-one. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not hooome." [beep]

(JERRY's on the other end, a little bored. But GEORGE likes the song, bobbed his head with it.)

JERRY
George, pick up. I know you're screening for Allison.

GEORGE
[answers phone, good mood] Hey.

JERRY
So, coffee shop?

GEORGE
No, I can't. She knows I go there. It's not secure. [the call waiting beeps]
Hey, I got another call comin' in. I gotta let the machine get it. Bye. [hangs up]

GEORGE
[on tape, singing] "Believe it or not, George, isn't at home, please leave a mes-saaage at the beep. I must be out or I'd pick up the pho-one. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not hooome." [beep]

(GEORGE was grooving to it, pantomimes shrugging during it, and remoting to another station.)

ALLISON
[on phone machine, peeved] George? Are you there?
[muttering] I hate that stupid message.
[terse] I know you're avoiding me, I'm at the office, please call me, I've gotta talk to you. [hangs up]

[GEORGE dials a number.]

GEORGE
[to phone] Hi, Allison? Oh, I guess you're not at home.. I probably should 'ave tried you at the office. Anyway, good to hear from ya, really looking forward to the ball.. [hangs up and happily chuckles] Ha ha!

(4+1) a: night apt. bldg (grey "737" awning); 3: MS on Elaine and Jerry (they leave door open); 1: MS on E, over J's sh; 2: MS on J ("No Suze."); 1; 2; 3; 2; 4: MS on J + E (E has moved to kitchen, J is in profile); 2: (MS on J reacting); 3: MS 3-shot as Kramer enters, pans rt. with K to fridge (E's looking at fruit), pans left with K to door; 4: J follows K, shot becoming MS on K, over J's sh; 1: MS on K; 3: 3-shot; 4 (MS on K, over J's sh); 3; 2: 2S on E + J, both in profile; 1 (on K); 4; 2; 1; 2; 1; 4: (trucks with J shutting door); 1: MS on J, pans; 2: MS on E, over J's rt. sh; 1: MS on J, K came in and goes behind J, who turns, shot becoming MS on K, over J's sh; 2: 2S on J + E, over K's rt. sh; 1: (MS on K, now over J's and E's sh/head); 4: MS 3-shot, all in profile, E pats J's shoulder; 2: (2S on J + E); 1; 4.

ELAINE
Can you believe this woman?

JERRY
[ironic outrage] The nerve. Talkin' about ya behind your back--and right to your face!

ELAINE
No. "Suze!" I mean, "Susie!" "Suzanne!" "Suzanna." Fine! But there is no, way, I'm gonna be a Suze.

JERRY
No. No Suze.

ELAINE
[tense] I mean--what am I--some pom-pom-wavin' Back seat Bimbo?!

JERRY
Who are you describin'?

ELAINE
Someone I know!

JERRY
Named Suze?

ELAINE
No, still Sharon!

KRAMER
[comes in, subdued] Hey. [grabs a water from refrigerator]

JERRY
Hey, I thought you went to the game.

KRAMER
No. I was kicked out for fightin' with one of the players. [leaving]

JERRY
Wait. Way--way--way--way--way--way--wait! Who?!

KRAMER
[stops] W--Reggie Miller.

ELAINE
Cheryl Miller's brother?

KRAMER
Yeah. [leaving]

JERRY
Hey--hey--hey--wait, wait, wait, wait! What happened!

KRAMER
[stops again] Well, first of all, for some reason, they started the game an hour Late. And uh, I was sittin' next to Spike Lee an' he an' Reggie were jawin' at each other, so I guess I got involved. [leaving]

ELAINE
[same time as JERRY] --Wait, whoa--whoa--whoa--whoa!--

JERRY
Well--wait--wait--wait--wait! What do you mean "involved"?!

KRAMER
[stops again] Well I.. ran out onto the court an' threw a hot-dog at Reggie Miller. "Involved."
An' they threw meee, an' Reggie, an' Spike out o' the game.

ELAINE
So that's it?

KRAMER
Well I, well I, felt, pretty bad about everything an' uh, then the three of us, we went to a strip club. [leaves]

JERRY
Can you believe that?

ELAINE
I didn't know Cheryl Miller's brother played basketball.

KRAMER
[suddenly comes back, excited] The Knicks killed 'em a hundred an' ten to seventy three!

JERRY
What--of course, without Reggie Miller, it's a blowout!

KRAMER
No, Jerry--that's thirty-seven points! The Knicks covered! You won! See, that's a cooool-G, Daddy-O--now you gotta let it riiiide!

JERRY
On what?!

KRAMER
[real addict] Ah, come-on, Jerry--I don't wanna lose this feeling. Hey--let's go down to the O.T.B. We'll put some money on the ponies. [getting out pocket watch]

JERRY
Yeah, all right.

KRAMER
[looking at watch] Ssssh--ah! They just closed!

JERRY
[not] Oh. Too Bad.

(3+1) a: daylight LS looking up at office building; 1: full shot of office; 2: MS on E; 3: MS on J. Peterman; 2; 3; 2.

ELAINE
Mr. Peterman? You wanted to see me?

PETERMAN
Apparently Peggy--down in Design?--got into a liiiittle bit of a Tiff yesterday with somebody named, "Susie"?

ELAINE
Su-sie?

PETERMAN
Yes. Between you, me and the lamppost. And the desk.
Peggy says this "Suze" isn't much of a Worker.

ELAINE
[nit] It's Susie.

PETERMAN
Nevertheless, Elaine. The House, of Peterman is in Disorder. First thing tomorrow morning I want to see you, Peggy, and, Susie right here, in my office.

ELAINE
[dismayed] Ah, all o'--all of us?

(3+1) a: day ext. of apt. bldg. (red awning); 1: L/MS on Kramer in hallway at door; 2: MS on K, over Allison's sh; 3: 2S on K + A, favoring A; 2; 3.

KRAMER
Allison. Hi. Uh--listen: I'm really sorry about what happened at the game last night. Listen--could I have a ticket tonight--'cause the Rockets are in town an' that, Hakeem Olajuwon? Ohhh--he's got a real attitude.

ALLISON
Kramer? Have you seen George, around? I can't get a hold of him.

KRAMER
Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, he--uh--visits the guy across the hall from me like every ten minutes.

ALLISON
Oh yeah?

(4+1) 1: L/MS on Jerry at trunk with grocs; 2: MS on J, over Mike's sh; 3: 2S on J + M, favoring M; then alts #2 and #3 (3[6] times); 1: L/MS on both and car; 4: L/MS on J + M (M coming right, into view); a: MS on M reacting.

JERRY
[singing] Believe it or not, Geooorge isn't at home.

MIKE
[comes up] Hey. Jerry.

JERRY
Hey Mike.. How 'bout those Knicks?

MIKE
[a little anxious] Yeah! How 'bout 'em? Ha ha. Look, Jerry. I can't pay you.

JERRY
Why not?

MIKE
'Cause I don't have the money..

JERRY
Mike. You say you're a bookie? You take a bet an' then you can't pay? I don't know, Mike, to me it sounds a little, how you say.. "Phony"?

MIKE
Just give me 'til Friday. Please. Please!

JERRY
You know, you're supposed to be the Bookie. Act like one.

MIKE
I'm sorry. Uh--oh here--let me give you a hand with that.

[MIKE gets some groceries out.]

JERRY
[trying to shut the trunk hood] Something wrong with this trunk.

MIKE
Oh. Let me see.

[As MIKE puts his hands there, JERRY, unaware, shuts the trunk again! It happens very fast--MIKE's hands are slammed and he screams out in pain!]

(3+1) a: night ext. rest.; 1: MS on George, over Kramer's sh (woman is in distance behind G); 2: M-CU on K, over G's rt. sh; 3: M-CU on G, over K's sh; then alt #2 and #3 for convo.; at end is 1: K just having crossed left (G dismayed, at table, the jilted woman is no longer there either).

GEORGE
So--ah, Kramer. Why'd you ask me out to dinner?
[amused] An' why Pomodoro?

[Just now, at one table in the background, a WOMAN is sad and dismayed, says, "How could you say that to me?" She cries..]

KRAMER
[quiet, delicately] Allison spoke to me, and um. She wanted me to speak to you.

GEORGE
[quiet] Uh-oh.

KRAMER
We all know that this relationship isn't working. So Allison an' I think that the best thing to do is just.. make a, clean break.

GEORGE
Can't we discuss this?

KRAMER
[reasoning] We just don't think you're ready for a serious relationship!

GEORGE
[dismayed] I didn't even know you wanted to get serious!

KRAMER
[dismayed] So what am I in this for?
You know, I'm getting to a point in my life where I need something more than just.. a good time. [is tearing up]

GEORGE
[pause] Are you?

KRAMER
Wha--me? No! No. But she is.

GEORGE
I, I can't believe this is happening!

KRAMER
George, we're sorry.
[breathes in, pause] We're through..

GEORGE
Krama. Please.

KRAMER
[leaves, upset] Waaa-aa--aa! I'm sorry--

(5+1) a: day ext. of office bldg, at ground level ("1325" is engraved on the smooth stones); 1: full shot of office, trucks/pans with Elaine entering; 2: MS on E; 3: MS on Peggy; 2: (MS on E); 4: L/MS on P and J. Peterman (JP); 2; 1; 2; 4; 5: L/MS on E and empty chair; 4: MS on JP; 2; 4; 2; 3; 2; 3: (P looks pleased with being huge part of problem); 2; 3; 4; 2; 4; 2; 4: MS on P + JP; 2; 1: L/MS of office, pans with E rushing out; 4: MS on P + JP.

ELAINE
[entering, uneasy] Mr. Peterman, Peggy, I.. guess we, should just get this over with. [sits]

PETERMAN
Just Hold On a minute. Still One Short.

ELAINE
Oh.
No, we're not--

PEGGY
Susie has been very rude to me.

PETERMAN
Well, Elaine, has nothing but Good things to say about Susie.

ELAINE
Look.
[engaging smile] We don't have to name names, or, point fingers, or..
[breathes in] name names!
[indicating empty chair] Me and her, have had our problems. She and I have had our problems! You and I, and she and you--

PETERMAN
Don't you drag me into this! This is between you and her, and her. [indicating empty chair]

ELAINE
Yes! And I am convinced that if she were here with us today, she would agree with me, too.

PETERMAN
Who.

ELAINE
[uh-oh] Her?

PETERMAN
Where is she?!

ELAINE
Ah--this is part of the problem!

PEGGY
Iiii thought I was, part of this problem.

ELAINE
[smiling, convincing] You're a, huuge part of the problem. But, I think that at it's core, this is a Susie-and-Elaine problem that requires, a Susie-and-Elaine solution! And, who better to do that than.. Elaine and Susie! Susie and Elaine!

PETERMAN
Well, now that we have that cleared up.. why don't the three of us have lunch.

ELAINE
[feigning hearing something] What?! Oh! Oh, I'm, coming! I--I gotta go. [rushes out!]

PETERMAN
She is The Best.
What was your name again.

(4+1) a: day, street level shot of J's bldg (grey "737" awning); 3: L/MS on apt. Jerry crosses right with glass, cam zooms in; 2: MS on J turning to Kramer; 3: L/MS on apt. (K opens door revealing Mike, J is pouring juice); 4: MS on K + M; 2: MS on J; 4; 2; 4; 2; 4; 2; 3: L/MS on apt, J crosses left cam pans/tracks with them to table, cam backs up; 2: MS on K; 1: MS on J, tilts with him sitting; 3: MS on K going to door, but George is standing there; 1: (MS on J, puzzled); 2: MS on G; then alt #3 and #2 (but with one look at J [cam 1] during a long silent pause), ending with #2 (MS on G).

KRAMER
Mike's outside. He wants to talk to you.

JERRY
Well why doesn't he just come in?

KRAMER
Because he's scared, Jerry.

JERRY
Why is he scared.

KRAMER
[sighs, opens door] Come on in.
Did you do this? [MIKE has two hand casts on]

JERRY
Yeah, but--

KRAMER
Uh--ah--ah! You broke his thumbs.

JERRY
It was an accident.

KRAMER
Oh, is that what you call it when, Somebody doesn't Pay Up?

MIKE
[desperate] I'll get you the money, Jerry. I got a hundred dollars in my front pocket if you want to, reach in an' take it!

JERRY
[hands up] I don't want it that way.

KRAMER
Nuh! Okay Jerry, how about if Mike fixes your truuunk, we call it even, an' this way, nobody has to get hurt.

JERRY
[whatever] Fine..

MIKE
Oh--uh--thank you, Jerry, thank you! I won't forget this, I'm gonna fix your trunk good--real good!

[MIKE's very grateful, and leaves with a two thumbs up gesture. But he also can't help giving a thumbs up--that's the position the casts hold his thumbs in. It's odd!]

KRAMER
See that was nice, Jerry. [under breath] Oh, by the way, I'm the one who broke your trunk.

JERRY
Ah, it's just a car.

[GEORGE comes up (the door's still open) and when he and KRAMER see each other, there's an awkward, long pause. During the following, JERRY sits at the table silently watching, intrigued.]

GEORGE
Hi.

KRAMER
[looking down, nodding] Hi.

[Another pause. It's like they broke up--well they did, but they didn't.]

GEORGE
It's, funny runnin' into you here.

KRAMER
Yeah, yeah..
It's funny.
You look good..

GEORGE
[embarrassed, self conscious about his gut] Do I? Thanks.. You too..

KRAMER
Ooo, yeah.. [indicating his face, embarrassed] {Heh, right.}
You know, it's gettin' kind of late, I, I really have to be going, so, uh, it's nice seeing you again, all right--

GEORGE
[sad] Yeah! Yeah. Hey--hey you, you know.. Maybe I'll call you sometime.

KRAMER
George, it's over. It's just.. It's Over. [leaves]

GEORGE
[pause] What do you think, Jerry.

JERRY
[wistful] I don't know, I just see you guys together.

(4+3) 1: L/MS on Mike at trunk; 2: LS on Kramer getting into his car (in front of "Wines and Liquors," and "Stationers" stores); 3: MS on M getting in trunk; 4: L/MS on K (in profile, starting car); a: MS on bumpers bumping (K's car's back bumper + J's front bumper); b: MS on J's trunk slamming shut; c: CU on M reacting in dark (some light through slit is on face).

MIKE
Thumbs!

[He gets into the trunk for better access. But it turns out KRAMER is getting into his car, parked just ahead of Jerry's, and he bumps Jerry's car while backing up and the trunk slams shut. It locked this time!]

MIKE
[from inside the trunk] Oh!
Help!
Somebody, help! Help!

(4+1) a: night city traffic, from street level; 1: 2S of Elaine and Jerry in car; 2: CU on Mike in dark, except for slit of light; 3: CU on E; 4: CU on J; 2; 1; 3; 4; 2: CU on M reacting during their conv. (slit of light is passing over and over his face from passing street lights); 1; 2.

JERRY
So Peterman bought it? I can't believe you got away with that!

ELAINE
Well, I'm very fortunate to be surrounded by such stupidity.

JERRY
Yeah, I know how you feel.

(Meanwhile, MIKE's yelping and banging in the trunk!)

ELAINE
Do you hear something?

JERRY
What?

(Meanwhile, MIKE is now hoarse, is shouting, "Jerry?! Jerry?!")

JERRY
Oh, the trunk's broken, it's rattling.

ELAINE
Jerry, I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. They're starting to give Susie assignments now!

JERRY
Well, there's only one thing to do. Eliminate her.

ELAINE
What?

JERRY
[firmly matter of fact] Get Rid of Susie. Make her disappear.

ELAINE
I kinda like her.

JERRY
She's Gooone.

ELAINE
Jerry--

JERRY
[impatient] Gone! [starts maniacally laughing]
[briefly stops to point and explain] That bumper sticker.

[They BOTH scream, laughing! In the trunk, MIKE has heard most of the conversation! The laughing continues!]

MIKE
[desperately anxious] Oh God, I'm in trouble..

(4+1) a: night ext. shot of Jerry's bldg, upper floors (a light goes on during George's first line); 1: MS on G (profile) and K (opens door); 2: MS on G, over K's sh; 3: MS on K, over G's rt. sh; then alts #2 and #3 (3[6] times); 4: L/MS of hall, G rushes toward and past cam in glee.

GEORGE
Krama. Open up! I--I know you're in there!

KRAMER
[opens door] Uh--George, uh--uh--it's five o'clock in the morning, what's the matter with you..

GEORGE
[sad] It's only four..

KRAMER
Huh?

GEORGE
I--I've been, walkin' around all night.. I've been thinkin' about Allison and me.. an' you--

KRAMER
Oh. Oh, George.

GEORGE
Please. Give me another chance.

KRAMER
[regretfully] Uh.. I know I'm gonna regret this.
[sigh] All right.

GEORGE
[grateful, relieved] Thank you!
I'm gonna make you both so happy!

KRAMER
All right, all right, I'll see ya later. [shuts door]

GEORGE
[delighted!] Woooo!

(4+1) a: day ext. of office bldg, looking up from street level; 1: L/MS on J.Peterman and Elaine; 2: MS on E; 3: MS on JP; 2; 3; 2; 4: L/MS on both (JP in profile), zooming in for his reaction and her patting his back.

PETERMAN
Elaine! Where's Susie? I want her to head up our new Fingerless Glove Division.

ELAINE
[quiet] Oh, but I thought I was in line for that assignment.

PETERMAN
Mmmmm--nah.

ELAINE
All right, then, I was gonna wait, to tell ya this, but.. last night, Susie..
[difficult subject, quiet] she took her own Life..

[PETERMAN grasps this, weepy in disappointment, "Oh!". ELAINE comforts him.]

(3+1) a: ext day apt. bldg. (red "305" awning); 1: MS on K knocking on door; 2: MS on K + Allison (A crossing as she opens door); 3: MS on A, over K's rt. sh; 2: MS on K, over A's sh; 3.

KRAMER
[happy, enthused] We're takin' George back--

ALLISON
What?!

KRAMER
He's gonna make us very happy.

[ALLISON looks doubtful/disappointed.]

(1) a: ext, post-rain parking lot, ppl entering community type bldg.

(5) 1: LS in packed room, Elaine and Jerry looking for seats, cam trucks; 2: MS on E + J, trucking back + left with them; 3: MS on Peggy with E in fg; 4: MS on P (in profile), E turns to face her; 3; 5: L/MS on all three; 3; 4: (now J turns to face P); 3; 4; 3; 5; 1: MS on E.

ELAINE
[quiet] Look at this turnout.

JERRY
[quiet] Where did Susie find the time to meet all these people..

ELAINE
[irritated] Your funeral's not gonna come close to this.

[They've found seats together in the row in front of PEGGY, who looks like she's seeing a ghost!]

PEGGY
[to herself] Oh my god!
[quiet] Susie?

ELAINE
[quiet] Oh, oh--ho--I'm not Susie.. I'm Elaine.

PEGGY
But I've been calling you Susie.

ELAINE
Oh! Hadn't noticed!
Excuse me. [she's going to the podium]

PEGGY
I guess I never met Susie.

JERRY
[privately amused] Suze? I actually had a little thing with her for a while.
[indicating ELAINE] Her too.

[ELAINE's now at the podium.]

ELAINE
What can you say about a girl like Susie? [she doesn't know..]

(3+3) a: ext. small wet parking lot, red convertible is parking; 1: MS on JP pulling up; b: MS on bumpers bumping (hood pops up); 2: MS on JP getting out, tilts and pans with him, but stops to tilt and focus on the hood; 3: MS on M getting out, pans rt. with him (sign in bg); c: MS on sign; 3: (M reacts).

Nearby, there's a small announcement sign (with stick in, white, letters):

        TODAY'S
        SCHEDULE

  LEIBERMAN BARMITZVAH  
          <--


    SUSIE'S MEMORIAL
          -->


 

MIKE sees it and is alarmed! He's still disoriented but hobbles away with determination!]

(7+1) a: Tavern on the Green at dusk (roof lines and bare tree are lit up); 1: full shot of G + K; 2: MS on K; 3: MS on G, over K's sh; 2: MS on K, over G's rt. sh; then alts #3 and #2; 4: 2S as K passes G; 2: now MS on K, over G's sh; 3: MS on G (he's pulling K back); 2; 3; 4; 5: full shot in ballroom as K spins in, pans with him to Wilhelm and group; 6: MS on W; 7: 2S on K + G, over W's rt. sh; 6; 7.

KRAMER
Hey.

GEORGE
Where's uh, where's Allison..

KRAMER
Oh, Allison, she didn't want to come.

GEORGE
But you took me back.

KRAMER
Well, yeah, I did, but she's a tough nut.
How d'ya like the tuxedo. It's a rental but I've had it for fifteen years.
All right, eh. [heading in]

GEORGE
Where are you goin'..

KRAMER
The Ball, silly.

GEORGE
[afraid not] No no, no no no. You're not goin' in there.

KRAMER
George. I thought you were gonna Change.

GEORGE
[impatient] For her. Not for you.

KRAMER
[light admonishing, under breath] Let's just try, an' have a nice time for once, an' we'll talk about this when we get home..

[They start struggling quietly, KRAMER's trying to just walk by, and GEORGE is trying to restrain him without attracting too much attention.]

GEORGE
All right, look--wait--wait--Krama--wait, wait a minute, you are not. You are not goin' in. Ah-ahhh!

[GEORGE had KRAMER in a slightly spinning hold--by holding the back of KRAMER's tux--but the material tore away, and this sent KRAMER spinning into the room with the back torn off his tux! Strangely, this is well received by WILHELM!]

WILHELM
Wow! What an, Entrance!
[friendly, to GEORGE] And eh, who might this be?

KRAMER
Oh, I'm with him.

WILHELM
Oh. Ah-ha..

(7) 1: MS on E at podium; 2: L/MS (E in profile), pans with JP coming up; 3: full shot of E going to seat (toward cam); 4: 2S on E + J (as she sits); 1: MS on JP at podium; 4; 1; 4; 1; 5: MS on P + J turning to her; 6: MS on J, over E's rt. sh; 7: (brief 2S on E + J); 6; 1; 2: (as M enters); 3; 1: MS on M; 4; 5: (J turned to P again); 7: 3-shot and credits start.

ELAINE
And.. also, much like me, Susie hated going to the, Market.

PETERMAN
Elaine! May I say a few words.

ELAINE
Oh, god, yes, Mr. Peterman. [steps down]

PETERMAN
[steps up to the podium, refreshed] Ahhh.
I don't think I'll ever be able to forget Susie--ahhh. And most of all, I will never, forget that one night. Working late on the catalogue. Juuust the two of us. And we surrendered to temptation.

And it was Pretty Good.

JERRY
[proud to PEGGY, under his breath] Yeah, but he didn't sleep with both of 'em. [winks]

[ELAINE (who has returned to her seat) catches JERRY's eye. Though we don't see her face, his drops and he sobers it up.]

PETERMAN
But Iiii never heard her Cries for Help. [sighs]
An' nowww.. Susie is gone.

MIKE
[running in, still hoarse, desperate!] Hold on! Hol--on!
Susie didn't commit suicide!
[rushes up to podium!] She was Murdered, by Jerry, Sein-feld!

[While MIKE's pointing at JERRY and everyone's looking, JERRY looks back at PEGGY again.]

JERRY
[smugly, under his breath] Not only that, I broke his thumbs.

[PEGGY and ELAINE look at him strangely as he grins during such an inappropriate moment.]

(4+2) a: day ext. of office bldg, looking up at it from street level; 1: MS on JP and E seated (JP in profile); 2: MS on JP (dark window in bg); 3: MS on E; 2: (pan with his leaning forward, becomes over her sh); 3: MS on E, over JP's rt. sh; 4: full shot on JP + E, tilts up and pans with him leaving, but stops, tilts down to E; b: directly overhead shot of E, spins CCW and backing up.

[After dark, PETERMAN and ELAINE are sitting and talking in his office.]

PETERMAN
Elaine? Guess what. I've decided to Form a Charitable Foundation, in Susie's honor. And as Susie's best friend, I want you to be involved.

ELAINE
Mr. Peterman..
[leaning forward, whispering] I'm Susie.. She's me..

PETERMAN
[leans forward, whispers carefully] I feel the same way.

[announcing] And that's why this foundation will meet around Your Schedule. Nights! Weekends! Every, Free Moment you have. [leaving, pats her shoulders confidently]

ELAINE
[looks up, screaming in frustration!] Suuuuuuuuuuze!

[(During her screaming up to the air, the camera was over her, looking down, and turning around and around, just like it had when GEORGE found out that he was going to be running a foundation in honor of Susan!)]

Last Updated: 16 Jan 1999