Image In The Sand

We think it's better not to view this episode as a separate entity from its second part, "Shadows and Symbols", so we rate them as one. With this length of time they were able to field three "A" stories, and give each one almost enough attention.

First we'll consider the most central story, Sisko and his search for the prophets. Avery Brooks excels with the slightly maniacal brooding Sisko does through most of this episode. We always enjoy any display of musical talent by Sisko/Brooks, so the brief interlude on the Piano was welcome. Apparently the Prophets take a summer hiatus, because it's taken them three months to contact Sisko and get the ball rolling... literally. We like the way they use that baseball to tie together both Sisko's command of DS9 and his role as the Emissary.

Okay, so we had to roll our eyes just a little when the mystery of Sarah was being revealed. So whose been broadcasting Soap Operas into the wormhole/celestial temple? It's not wholly implausible that a species not shackled by temporal limitations would throw cause and effect to the wind, but couldn't they have tried for a little more originality.

We worry about Jake though, he doesn't seem to have much direction in his life, besides following Dad around. Though he did seem to make a fair waiter. And Joseph Sisko... for a guy who wouldn't leave Earth a few years ago, he sure wants to get around now.

The second story, Kira in command, we also found generally pleasing. They didn't waste any time mentioning her promotion, or emphasizing her relationship with Odo. We also approve of the way they used a couple of scenes to show that Kira liked and could come to trust the Romulan Cretak, otherwise the revelation of the hidden weapons would not have elicited so strong a reaction.

Our largest objection to the Kira story and the Sto-vo-kor story was that they weren't more intermixed. They might have been on separate stations for all the times they crossed. Why didn't Kira wonder where her entire senior staff had run off to? Why didn't O'Brien, Worf and Bashir considering discussing with Kira if she could spare them for a suicide mission? They should at least have notified her that she might have to put in for replacements.

Though we found the motivations of the characters to be weak in the the third storyline, we still enjoyed aspects of it. We're always delighted to see Vic Fontaine, and yes, to hear the entire song, if he happens to sing it, in this case All The Way. We're not sure however how advisable it is to have a hologram that will rat about what you're doing in the holosuite.

We found the scene between Worf and O'Brien amusing. Worf in his role of deadpan comic relief is how we like him best. And of course, we were delighted to hear Barclay mentioned.

Here the motivations grow weak. We understand Worf wanting to go on a suicide mission, mostly to prove himself worthy of Jadzia. But Julian wasn't so attached to Jadzia that he'd throw his life away for her honor. He would to protect her life, but for a Klingon ritual; it's difficult to believe. And then O'Brien goes just because... why exactly? To take care of Bashir. Wife and kids ring a bell here, Chief? And then Quark lists all the sensible objections and goes anyhow. We just think that Jadzia would have rolled her eyes and suggested they go out and get drunk instead.

Fortunately for the boys, General Martok had a plan that wasn't actually suicidal, and in fact seemed to involve no combat at all.

Finally there was the "B" story, sort of, Damar and Weyoun sniping at each other. The Dominion Odd Couple were only on for a couple of scenes, but it was quality time.

We don't see much of Ezri in this first episode. What we saw we liked. Of course she hadn't started talking a mile a minute yet, either.

In summary this episode by itself would have rated a Samarian Sunset, but in combination with its second half it rates a Romulan Ale.

Rating: Romulan Ale

Applicable Rule of Acquisition: #236 You can't buy fate.

Top Ten Disadvantages To Being The Emissary
10) Have to attend ceremonies on all the tedious Bajoran holidays
9) Sets you up as Dukat's favorite target
8) People look at you funny whenever you say "Well, the other day the prophets told me...."
7) Visions make holosuite programs seem kind of ho hum
6) Close friends suddenly Pag'h Wraith fodder
5) Doesn't make your son any more likely to choose Starfleet
4) Everytime that damn wormhole opens and closes you get a cramp in your left thigh
3) They pay you even less than Starfleet
2) Clinging Bajoran Children
And the number one disadvantage to being the Emissary:
1) Everything looks like an Orb

"Is my memory playing tricks on me or are have you gotten stranger?" -- Ezri Dax

Annotations

• All The Way - Written by J. Van Heusen/S. Cahn. Maraville Musick Corp ASCAP 1957.

• Barclay - Lt. Reginald Barclay (Dwight Schultz) was featured in several Next Generation episodes exhibiting various neuroses, including a holodeck fixation, a fear of transporters and spiders, and hypochondria. Seen briefly in First Contact

Pop Quiz
In what previous DS9 episode were stembolts (self-sealing) prominently mentioned?

This, the second part of two-part episode, moved at a good fast pace. Though there were a couple of scenes that we'd like to have seen that weren't there, but we'll get to those later. We'll take the three storylines separately as we did in the Image in the Sand review.

First the Sisko story. We kind of wish that Jake and Joseph had stayed with the runabout, so we could have had a little more one-on-one interaction with Dax and Sisko. But having Sisko ignore his father's discomfort was a good way to show that he was obsessed past thinking of any normal concerns. Not that Avery Brooks needs any help playing maniacally obsessed Sisko, or the variation of the twitchier Benny.

We found Dax charming in her initial babbling outburst, but were relieved that she calmed down a bit by the time they got to Tyree. Her problem, with the upsurging personalities of previous hosts, is interesting and Nicole De Boer is doing a reasonable job conveying it.

We were intrigued by the device they used to have the Pag'h Wraith intrude on Sisko; the hospital paging the Doctor. It was puzzling, but still drew us in. Casey Biggs/Damar as the Doctor set us to wondering, was Dukat consulted by the Pag'h Wraith and subconciously providing characters for their false visions? Just an idea. Or would everyone look like Kira in that case.

Meanwhile back at the station, Kira appealed to the Federation for help with those pesky Romulans. Is the Federation a lousy ally or what? Whenever Bajor calls they're sure to not be there, until it's damn near too late, or past it. Good thing for Bajor that Kira's in command. We also liked the way Odo was so totally supportive. He's got this relationship thing correct right off the bat. Though we do have to question his taste in literature. Kiss Me Deadly and it's sexist Detective don't really seem like Kira's cup of tea. But then we think he just wanted her to start a book, so she'd have that much more incentive to make it back.

Here's where we miss a scene. Admiral Bill comes on and announces that he has made the Romulans back down. We didn't buy it. Mr. Wimpy-Milque-Toast says he faced down Cretak, after licking her boots for two episodes. We consider it more likely that he bought off the Romulans, and Cretak was just out of range of the view screen chuckling away.

Now on to the Sto'vo'kor story. We knew Quark was coming so we weren't surprised, but still we had hoped that everyone wouldn't take leave of their senses like this. Fortunately for everyone, Martok had a pretty darn good plan. Glorious battle? Not exactly. This would have been a tactic a Romulan would be proud of. Sneak up on the sun, blast it and get out of the way quick while it wipes out everything in the vicinity. That'll teach the Dominion to build next to unstable stars.

We could always do without Worf's emotional angst and angry outbursts, especially transparent problems like jealousy. Though he had no business there, we greatly enjoyed Quark's presence on the Klingon ship. And not just for his comic moments, though those were good. We admired the character for having the sheer nerve to not only go along, against his own cautious nature, but to take no guff off of a more ferocious race. Not that he hasn't done such things before, but it obviously impressed Martok as well. Now there's a friendship we'd like to see develop.

Back to the little "B" story, Damar and Weyoun. Here's the other missing scene. We dearly wanted to see Damar and Weyoun's reaction to their shipyard being blown to hell.

As at the end of Tears of the Prophet they have little children, this time jumping into his arms and thanking him for saving the prophets. Bleah. We hate that sort of thing. A begrudging Kai Winn would have been more intriguing.

We'd have rated this a Raktajino, if it weren't culminating the previous episode. So it has the combined rating of Romulan Ale.

Rating: Romulan Ale

Applicable Rule of Acquisition: #44 Never confuse wisdom with luck.

Top Ten Ideas Worf Rejected For Getting Jadzia into Stovokor
10) Find Voyager
9) Eat outdated yogurt
8) Challenge Quark to a game of Tongo
7) Pound nine inch nails up his nose
6) Steal Sisko's baseball
5) Drink Cardassian Kanar until he pukes
4) Tell Kira he does not care for her new hairstyle
3) Do a fly by of Cardassia and moon them
2) Vow revenge on Gul Dukat
And the number one idea Worf rejected for getting Jadzia into Stovokor:
1) Sign up for Celebrity death match

"What if Jadzia doesn't want to go to Sto'vo'kor?" -- Quark

Annotations:

• Kiss me Deadly - by Micky Spillane (1952). Odo was seen reading another Mike Hammer novel "I, the Jury" in "Profit and Loss", which was lent to him by O'Brien.

This is a Garak episode, so no matter what problems it has, and there are a few, it stands among our top thirty favorite DS9 episodes.

Primarily this is an... no THE Ezri Dax episode. When anyone talks about her character in the future it will be what was presented here. This episode didn't change our mind, we still like Ezri, and Nicole De Boer is doing an excellent job. However we hope they don't hang too many episodes on her in this final season. As a supporting character she should be quite refreshing, but too many of the veterans on DS9 still have episodes begging to be told, and of course all the plot lines need to be wrapped up. Still, we won't begrudge her this establishing episode.

Her first scene where she visits the temple, and the site of her most recent death, didn't have as great an impact on her as we might have hoped, but the original scene of Jadzia's death didn't have as much impact as we had hoped either. Kira had a nice understated reaction to Ezri. She seemed to think she ought to be offering comfort to her friend, but that this wasn't her friend, it was a stranger. Well done, but like most reactions to Ezri Dax completely disses the Dax component of Jadzia.

All these people were friends with a joined being. Dax the worm was as valid a friend as Jadzia the humanoid, but no one, except Sisko and Quark, acknowledged this. Half of their friend didn't die. They'll come to accept Ezri as a friend, but apparently only the external humanoid part.

Worf suffers from this most notably. Was he never able to accept that a lot of what made Jadzia the person he knew, loved and married, the Dax symbiont? Well, probably not. Stubborn denial is part of his charm. And actually we kind of understand his dilemma here. He just spent two whole episodes getting Jadzia into Sto'vo'kor and she's not really completely dead. Kind of makes him look like an idiot.

Of course all through the first few scenes setting up Ezri's problems, we were just fretting about how long it would be before Garak was on. In his first scene we found Bashir and O'Brien's planned HoloAlamo outing rather amusing. We take it that the point is to try and get a different outcome. But we don't think, even at the best of times, the re-creation would have interested Garak. The first thing we noticed was that he looked different. His complexion was darker, the neck ridges more pronounced. We put this down to the new dark brown low cut shirt at first. But it was a darker make-up and we think they were adding a sheen of perspiration with a spray bottle.

Not that Andrew Robinson needed those added touches to get across the character's tension. Lucky for DS9 that he can pull off abrupt changes in his character's mental health, that aren't really quite justified in the script.

Sisko has a pronounced cruel streak. It's like throwing Ezri into the deep end assigning Garak to her as her first patient. Maybe his logic was that if she could handle Garak everyone else would be easy. We've heard people complain that, in his first "session" with Ezri, Garak was entirely to open and honest. While we took it for granted that everything that he told her then was a lie.

First, the closet story seemed to be more what Ezri wanted to hear than anything that happened. Second, it's not possible. Enabran Tain could not have been in the habit of locking Garak in closets. Garak was not his acknowledged child which would seem to indicate that Tain did not raise him and was not in charge of punishing him. And Tain himself stated that he "never had to order Garak to do anything" as well as the fact that Garak, "never tells the truth when a lie will do." Third, it's entirely too mundane an explanation for Garak's claustrophobia. Whatever the engendering trauma we imagine it as much more horrific. Not that it's terribly relevant in this episode since his claustrophobia wasn't really the problem anyway.

We were even more sure it was a lie when Ezri latched onto it to make her glib and inaccurate diagnosis for the both of them. It didn't seem to help her much either.

We do think the Sisko/Ezri relationship is being done well. He projects the same sense of ease and mischief with her as he did with Jadzia. We're thankful that she came on board so he does have opportunities to display that mellower side.

We have to confess that we're not terribly interested in who Ezri ends up with, though we might be persuaded to put down a few slips of latinum on long-shot Quark, just to be sporting. But that part of this episode just kept us from getting on to the Garak parts.

So how did they get Garak out of that airlock? Special Dr. Bashir Medical override? Ezri threaten to tell him Tobin's life story if he didn't open the inside door?

Okay, call us strange, but we really look forward to hearing Ferengi screams. Rom, on the whole, wins hands down in this department, but Quark gets off a pretty good scream in this episode.

Worf is an idiot, and he should have his butt court-martialed for assaulting a fellow officer. Oh yes, Worf the entire universe revolves around you and your freaking honor. He's quite fortunate that Federation humans, Bashir in particular, are insufferably patient and understanding.

We like the way the set design in Garak's shop was done. The lighting changes and arrangement of clothes and furniture made what use to be an airy if narrow area, positively cramped and stuffy. We thought Ezri fully deserved the dressing down Gark gave her for the off the cuff, self-centered "help" she gave him earlier. Of course he didn't want her to get to the root of his problem anyhow.

Still we were surprised that Ezri took Sisko's "cage rattling" so seriously. Dax knew him well enough to know what he was trying to do, and even to your average person it would have been pretty transparent.

We're hoping that O'Brien's visits to Worf continue on a regular basis, especially if it will annoy Worf.

The solution to Garak's problem was a little too quick and easy, and had little or nothing to do with Ezri's professional abilities. Given another couple of days of sewing Garak would have figured this out sans any assistance. Who'd have suspected Garak was such a sensitve guy? But seriously shouldn't he have learned to handle guilt and conflicting loyalties a little better by this time. Maybe there's still more going on here than meets the eye of an assistant counselor.

Maybe we took the last scene the wrong way, but it seemed to us that the Senior Staff is only accepting Ezri because Sisko says so. Not that that isn't enough of a reason. Of course the stand-offishness could have more to do with the thought of someone examining their dubious mental health.

We had to come up with a new rating for this one, as it's definitely not a Samarian Sunrise, the introduction of a new character being a major permanent change, and yet it wasn't dramatic enough to warrant a Romulan Ale, so we came up with and inbetween drink, Cardassian Kanar, for character pieces like this one, that rise above Tarkalean Tea and Raktajino.

Rating: Cardassian Kanar

Applicable Rule of Acquisition: #285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.

Top Ten Mental Health Problems The Deep Space Nine Crew Will Bring to Ezri
10) Miles experiencing a sense of foreboding that someone is going to torture him
9) Kira's Obsession with the upper Pylons
8) Sisko beginning to think that his visions aren't coming from the prophets or the Pag'h Wraith. They're incredibly late broadcasts from recalcitrant UPN stations.
7) Odo doesn't know how to tell Kira that he doesn't want to play Intendant and Slave anymore
6) None of them can shake the feeling they're being watched
5) Worf starts to experience an inexplicable fear of vacuum cleaners
4) Jake doesn't really have a problem just came to check her out
3) Julian trying to resist telling Kira he does want to play Intendant and Slave
2) Vic is tired of everyone coming to him with their problems
And the number one mental health problem The Deep Space Nine Crew will bring to Ezri:
1) Weyounaphobia

"So you're just going to give up?" -- Sisko

Annotations:

Fluff, this episode was pure fluff. We love fluff. We spend the season hoping fluff will come along and relieve the tedium of the war arc. No, no, the war's pretty fun too, but we need a break from the seriousness once in awhile, and this was an excellent way to do it. Of course, it does help if you appreciate baseball.

The premise was something of a paradox; a Vulcan trying to prove the superiority of logic using an extremely illogical method. But we just soared over that by assuming that even by Vulcan standards the guy is a complete jerk. All of Vulcan is probably sick and tired of hearing about that stupid wrestling match he had decades ago. "Oh, no, here comes that boring Solok again. Quick, give him a ship and tell him he's needed at the front." Why do you think he's got all those medals for Valor. They keep sending him where the fighting is fiercest. The reason that he couldn't put into a Vulcan station is because they turn off the lights and pretend they're not home.

So Sisko assembles his senior staff and Nog. (Presumably because Nog already knows how to play baseball.) It's a tribute to their loyalty, or his powers of intimidation, that no one told him this was a silly idea.

Lots of inherent comedy material here, as the DS9 crew set out to learn the rules of the game. Worf, Kira and Nog seemed to be doing all right, even if they did have a long way to go. Of course, our genetically enhanced Doctor grasped the concepts like "bunt". Ezri seemed to have been acquainted with baseball. Ben must have dragged Dax to a few games, maybe even made Curzon or Jadzia play. Enter the blatant emotional manipulation... er we mean Rom and Leeta. Could we guess that Rom would be bad at the game? The poor guy can barely walk across a room much less manage anything like an athletic activity. Would he get thrown off the team at some point, and make a comeback at the last minute. Well, yeah, of course he would. It's traditional, more than that... it's cliche. But still we found ourselves saying "ahhhh" at the appropriate moments.

The first tryouts clearly establish a few things. 1) Sisko is losing touch with reality. 2) The crew is still intimidated. 3) The only people who can catch are Worf, Nog, Bashir and O'Brien. 4) Don't get near Rom when he has a bat.

Sisko's best sport is apparently not baseball, but manipulation. He's a master. We just got the feeling when he was persuading Odo to be their Umpire, that he was hoping Odo would be making calls the Niners' way. No such luck as it turned out. And his maneuvers to get a new third baseman were brilliant. The flowers were a nice touch.

Okay, back to the writers' blatant emotional manipulation,(BEM) as Rom's teammates rally behind him when he gets thrown off the team. It was so touching, even Quark was ready to quit. Fortunately Rom wanted to see the rest of the episode played out. "Pleaaase."

Then there was that cute little throwaway scene, that could have been inserted anywhere. O'Brien has infused his traditional Baseball gum with Scotch flavor. A riot, but also a clever marketing idea if some Ferengi could get a hold of it.

Then they did some rapid fire scenes to show the passing of the inadequate two weeks. The stand-out was Kira catching Odo practicing his "moves" as an umpire. Then Ben gets around to telling Kasidy the long-awaited, but superfluous, reason for this whole thing. This whole thing was just because Sisko was illogical and drunk enough to challenge Solok to a fight umpteen years ago. Just loved Avery Brooks in this particular scene. Hope Sisko wrote a note to himself, "don't tell Kasidy any secrets if you don't want them spread around the station."

The crew certainly has taken this bonding thing seriously since the time they were so disconnected in "The Sound of Her Voice". Kira practically said, "let's win one for the Gipper." They have got this rallying thing down pat. Look out Dominion.

And, at long last, the Game. That was a lovely Federation anthem, but they are on a Bajoran station so maybe they should have played that too. But then The Bajoran anthem is probably very long and very slow. Fashion review: Nice uniforms. Who wouldn't shell out the latinum for the black cap with the baseball and the red station. And those IDIC symbols on the Vulcan caps; how ironic.

Okay, so no major league team would engage in "chatter", but these are not major league players, by any stretch of the imagination. Still it gave us another memorable Worf moment. "Death to the Opposition". This is the way we like Worf best... comic relief. Apparently being a ferocious warrior is not much help in hitting a ball with a stick, and neither are genetic enhancements. We only get to see Kira connect with the ball, and have to assume that Nog did.

Lots of Worf moments in this game, but you kind of had to be there for them. "Do not rush me," is only funny when he says it. That was a ball. Odo is blind, but the manic Sisko nevertheless, deserved to be thrown out of the game. And back to Rom (BEM) all alone in the stands, made more pathetic by the lack of a crowd. With Sisko gone, the game picks up. Ezri makes her gravity defying "fancy dan" move, and Nog goes to the dugout to tag a player out. (Pretty duplicitous, this Vulcan crew. Solok is a bad influence.)

Sisko finally finds enlightenment, or realizes the game is pretty much over, because he gives into the BEM(tm), and puts Rom into the game. Or maybe Sisko knew this was the perfect setup for a cliche Run. Nice touch there with O'Brien still not knowing that term for tapping the ball. Of course, Rom accidentally successfully bunts and simultaneously solidifies his father/son bond by making Nog's slide into home possible. The Niners are suckers for a cliche, and go wild.

This leads to one of our favorite moments as an irritated Solok places his hand on Odo's shoulder. He looks pretty mortified, for a Vulcan, as he snatches his hand back. "Yer gone!"

Then it was on to The Victory Party at Quark's. What a blast. Let us point out that there were a number of Vulcans there who seemed to be having a pretty good time, for Vulcans, and it was only Solok who was a party pooper. Nog was deep in conversation with a Vulcan player as Sisko apologized to Rom. It was most illogical of Solok to require a specific emotional response from his defeated opponents. Was he expecting a "two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate, Logicians! Logicians! Yeah!"? Or perhaps Benjamin vowing to beat him at Vulcan isometric exercises.

Obviously we enjoyed the Niners Solok taunting, and we're pretty sure some of those Vulcans agreed with us.

Okay, who wouldn't like to have that signed baseball? Will we catch Sisko juggling his two baseballs later in the season? Will the Niners start touring as an exhibition team? We'll probably never find out as that War Arc gets in the way of these burning questions. Fluff episodes don't get follow ups... until twenty years later.

Without a doubt this episode is the epitome of it's rating.

Rating: Samarian Sunset

Applicable Rule of Acquisition: #65 Win or lose there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.

Top Ten Reasons Garak Didn't Play
10) Thought altering Morn's pants was a more worthwhile activity
9) Now suffering from agoraphobia
8) Throws like a girl
7) Thinks uniforms are tragically unfashionable
6) Kira told him the tryouts were in upper pylon three
5) Didn't want to play unless he could pitch
4) His experiment infusing gum with Cardassian Kanar flavor went badly awry
3) Holding out for a more lucrative contract
2) Sisko didn't want to explain to the Federation why an entire team of Vulcans had disappeared
And the number one reason Garak didn't play:
1) Failed the drug test

"You are attempting to manufacture a triumph where none exists." -- Solok

Annotations

We had heard that this episode was a Melora clone, so we didn't go into it expecting much. And still we were disappointed. This was a lackluster time-wasting episode, that we chose to watch, in full, at a later date, because the Halloween South Park episode was much more interesting. (And Trek related for that matter.)

First we can't take Bashir's problem very seriously. We simply can't believe he can't drum up a date whenever he wants. Nor do we believe, since we've seen it isn't so, that his standards are so high that he only wants a genetically-enhanced girl. He was certainly willing to entertain the possibility of his Ballerina as the perfect mate, and possibly Jadzia, and even Leeta. So this always secretly wanting a genetic mutant sounds like bad backwriting.

We have not, so far, seen "Statistical Probabilities" so we were interested to see what all the buzz was about on the Jack Pack. We're still waiting. Big Deal; Geeks in Space. It was our understanding that the group had been forcibly confined for a lack of social skills, and more recently for misguided treasonous activities. Yet the Federation doesn't even notice they're gone until they make it all the way to Deep Space Nine... in Starfleet Uniforms. Somehow we think this is less a tribute to their intelligence than it is to Starfleet stupidity.

We were happy that the story was not really a duplicate of Melora. That was The Little Mermaid, this on the the other hand is Pygmalion. The only similarities are Bashir falling in love with his patient, and losing her in the end and... okay, they are pretty similar.

As we said, we haven't seen "Statistical Probabilities" or "Dr. Bashir I Presume", so we're a little puzzled by the Enhanced folks situation. Why are the apparent victims of fraud and child abuse, being treated as if they were the criminals? What in the Galaxy could have possessed their parents to risk their children's mental health and ability to function in society? Sarina and the rest of them should sue the pants off their parents, the Doctors and the Federation.

Bashir's waiting after the operation, where we see him soundlessly in different positions over the passage of time, while the still unresponsive Sarina lies in bed, touched a chord with us. Not unfortunately the one they were aiming for. This is almost exactly like the scene in The Wire where Bashir waits as Garak withdraws from the effects of the implant. Now there was a good dramatic show, with a deeper emotional tie than Chrysalis pretends to have.

Faith Salie did an amazing tnansformation between the cataleptic Sarina and the lovely animated Sarina. But, maybe you actually had to be there to be overwhelmed by her sense of joy as Bashir was, because we were unmoved. Still, there's Bashir falling in love quicker than Fred Astaire in "Top Hat". He should have known it wasn't mutual when she came to his place, fell asleep and woke up to solve medical conunmdrums. Romance was not on her mind.

Oh, and back to the "Do Re Mi" singing thing. So they're not bad singers, and at least it was a break from Mutant sniping and whining. Poor Sarina. She'll discover the rest of the Quadrant (Klingon Warriors, in a really good mood, excepted) frowns on spontaneously bursting into song. Killjoys.

The Dinner with his friends was interesting, because at least we got to see some of the other cast members. You didn't have to be genetically enchanced though to reach the character assessments that Sarina did.

We tried real hard to keep our eyes open during the rest of the episode as Bashir moons over Sarina and Sarina passively resists his ardour, until she finally just has to tell him to leave her alone already. And there was almost no other regular cast, except a token O'Brien appearance, to relieve the tedium.

In the end Bashir is still stuck with his original problem. He's lonely. But now it's apparent that the isolation is his own doing as he turns down O'Brien's invitation. Problem solved? No. Problem clarified? Perhaps.

Rating: Tarkalean Tea.

Applicable Rule of Acquisition: 223 - Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.

Top Ten Ways to Cure Bashir's Loneliness
10) Big party in his quarters next week
9) Bring back Voyager and introduce him to Seven
8) Have Ezri throw herself at him
7) Assign him to give all new female arrivals a tour of the station
6) An Internet Romance (You've got Mail.)
5) Tamper with Vic's programming so he becomes Victoria
4) Personal ad in the Federation Times "Successful, dashing, Starfleet Doctor seeks perfect woman for idyllic lifetime committment. Apply DS9"
3) Have him go mad and start a cult where the initiation ceremony involves sleeping with him
2) He should be a little more patient. (Or is that "have a few more patients"?)
And the number one way to cure Bashir's loneliness:
1) Chocolate

"She's not an idiot, just a little cataleptic." -- Lauren

Number of people who thought Ezri Dax had a cute hair cut:

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