|
|
THE MAD TIMES |
|
TheGlobalNews ProductionAndInformation Empire gives you
THE MOoK ONLINE NEWS SERVICE
|
WARNING
|
 |
Editorial Policy.
<SYSTEM ERROR- <sorry - STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION>
Mission Statement.
<SYSTEM ERROR- <sorry - STILL AT COMMITTEE STAGE>
<ERROR DISCLAIMER SYSTEM NOTICE : <All errors will be blamed on the system.>
...
Mook product hits shops .. [more ..]
... Hey Mook announce concert details
... Mook product announcement expected soon
... Mook reproduces
... Mooks bunker down for final mixes
... Mooks Hit recording studio
... Mooks to play Polish club in September 2000
... First hitout for 18 months
... 5 new songs and some tasty covers.
... Songs from Slivovitch fueled evenings.
... Mooks to audition 3rd drummer and contemplating the need to breed one to avoid future inconvenience.
... Scandanavian Mook returns to the fold bearing gifts of cold fish and fideley bits.
FOOTY
|
13 November 2001 Penrose bows outCarlton Blues champion and Full Forward of the Century Peter Penrose, has announced his retirement from AFL football. The 450 game veterans announcement was expected, injury forcing him to retire from the game hes served faultlessly over a 25 year career. In a pre-prepared statement issued by the Carlton club, a hip injury that could cost him the ability to walk forced Penrose from the field and into an assistant coaches role at Optus Oval. "Peter is one of the greatest ever players to represent the Carlton Football Club and indeed to ever play the game, and we are delighted he will continue his involvement with the Club in a coaching capacity," said Blues President UMOOKU. "This will see Peter in the role of an assistant coach in the development and skills area, working with our senior coach Wayne Brittain, in a similar capacity to other former great Carlton players Stephen Kernahan and Greg Williams." "He will leave a massive hole", said coach Wayne Brittain. "He was the best full forward that I have ever seen play the game." |
Man wins tipping compCrowd screams for more. |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Peace in the holy land ? Regarding the president's assasination request I think it may have been a Mr Stuart Cooby whom I believe is hiding out somewhere in the northern reaches. His FBI file reveals a strong sinewy body, hard to kill and competent chess player. Possible homosexual or mook. S. Spade |
Man coughs in subway and looks around for a crop duster with a turban on it,hmmmmmmmm, cwazy times right now in US, man follows argument to logical extreme and forsees dark age where vegetarians are now classed as rockeaters and women get around in heshen sacks. The true question is are we already in a dark age. In the Annals of Collingwood history most defineitly and according to the Koran, but what does Lou Richards think? Reg Crimbly North Eastwick. |
|
TypicalThanks for your fine paper's timely report on the farcical public transport ticketing system. The public transport system in this state is totally f$#@&%k. Jeffery Barchester |
||
Masters of WarWhat has happened to the goverment's promise to deal with the arm's trade? Why are some of the weapon's (e.g. The Kalashnikov AK) in the hands of terrorists being source from factories / businesses resident in the countries of the so called 'alliance against terrorism' ? What is going on here ? What is this madness ? Can we trust the clowns that are our world leaders pretend in our struggle ? Oliver Pimble |
||
ROY HARPERIt is a well known fact that in the 11th Century, the north of Europe was inhabited by only vikings, wenches & caribou...the only thing that saved the rest of the world from their nefarious plans was the invention of cricket by a callow Australian youth called Sir Donald Bradman. If it wasn't for his googilies, we'd all be wearing horns on our heads, rowing to work in long boats & lolling around in thatched huts listening to the ride of the Valkaries by (Robert) Wagner....last night the Trevored one & myself were singing your praises, acknowledging you as perhaps the only male in the world who seems to do most of his thinking with his brain as opposed to somewhere below the waste, but it's the unaustralian attitude you have displayed has just confirmed that John Howard was right & we have to keep people like you out of the country - not that I'm racist - some of my best friends should be shipped back to where they come from - & good riddance too, but it wouldn't matter how many of your swaddled infants you hurled off the poop deck, it'd be onto a cannibal infested south Sea Island & straight into a cooking pot with you & your lot & you wouldn't be allowed in until you could tell a left arm unorthadox spinner from a chinaman. Hang on, they're both the same. Indignant |
|
Which Bank Robbery?
Hobart band, THE RESERVES , have had their profit of $16.24, over the life of the band, stolen from them by what was once The Commonwealth Bank Of Australia. A bank representative said that the account had been eaten up by fees. Apparently in this so called age of progress it is impossible for a sophisticated bank computer system to keep track of business accounts with modest amounts of money. Despite representations by the band's financial agent, no trace of the the missing account or funds has so far been found. Apparently the contract with the bank was "Limited time, Conditions Apply" and not the fufillment of your dreams as their advertising falsley promises. |
|
Metallica doesn't hesitate to litigate. In addition to their high-profile case against Napster, the band has sued Victoria's Secret for copyright infringement and Amazon.com for distribution of an unauthorized collection of early demos. |
 Practice time - man belts out a tune. |
|
Hey Mook doesn't hesitate to litigate. In addition to their high-profile case against MookINC, the band has sued UMOOKU for copyright infringement and for distribution of an unauthorized collection of early demos |
THE RESERVES don't hesitate to litigate. The band has sued UMOOKU for copyright infringement and for distribution of an unauthorized collection of early demos. |
MAN SEES BOBMelbourne (Aus). A Brunswick man was recently reported to have seen Bob during one of his recent appearances. The man said he had enjoyed the appearance and intended to model Hey Mook around his band and touring life. Bob was said to have performed a number of songs which included 'Blind Willy McTell' and 'It's all right Ma, I'm only bleeding.' Subsequent to his spotting of Bob the man was relieved of the onerous duties of band management. For those who think the honesty of death won't come upon them eventually, life somtimes must get lonely (ed.). |
The Reserves get Jeffed.
TODAY'S LEGENDS OF AFL FOOTBALL is not to be purchased at WHAMMO under any circumstances due to ongoing litigation by Mookinc lawyers. |
Kim gets mocked yet again.Kim, who is believed to be the former leader of an Major Australian Political Faction, was reportedly mocked prior to his election loss by his arch rival's righthand man, a Mr Peter Costello who is an alleged ring leader in the conspiracy against The Australian General Public called The Australian Government. Mr Costello barracks for Essendon and was believed to be in a state of severe shock following their capitulation in the 2001 AFL Grand Final which they were widely tipped to win. Kim was mocked for his burly frame at a Liberal party function by Mr Costello as he was described as "rolling down a hill" as only a fatty would. The audience laughed as they quaffed down their steak and prawns. Another example of this extreme behaviour from the alleged treasurer is a notorious savage attack in parliament against a member who used a whiteboard, widely believed to be a common practice amongst many a very clever person. |
PLANNING DIVISION
| ...ERROR >> SYSTEM SCRAPPED BY GOVERNMENT. | |
Kennett Rorts SystemRecent information attained from an unmamed source from the Victorian Government's Fare Enforcement Squad has revealled corruption in the tendering process for the privatised version of the Met's automated ticketing system. As you would expect details of the tendering process are concealed under the spurious veil of commercial confidentialty. Despite a highly competitive tender from a Telsta related company that featured up to date technology the government opted for an inferior supplier because they were mates of Jeff. SOURCE : Gossip and Hearsay .... |
|
Photography
Bob as pictured in Important Melbourne Newspaper (IMN) The AGE.
Article by
|
More GunsThe world needs more guns and big business is clamoring for the spoils. Good luck to those prudent investors who bought armament stocks. God is on your side. |
WWW.HEYMOOK.COM is here !!Mookinc today announced the launch of its premier website WWW.HEYMOOK.COM . At noon today Mookinc President Mr Stuart Cooby said todays launch was the culmination of years of hard work by top computer scientists. Mookinc Technology Division employee UMOOKU was reportedly "thrilled" by todays event. |
|
'Love will get you like a case of Anthtrax'A very popular band.
Beware! Unlike Anthrax which can only be created in lethal quantities by clever international scientists, Love is a naturally occuring phenomenom which is known to strike without warning. Community Anouncement (ed.) |
|
Rock the house at the HEY MOOKCD Launch Crash Into You10 songs of love, death and cruise ships. 2nd February 2002
The Polish Club |
|
|
Daryl Rimple PlumbingA top job every time. Mates rates. No worries. Satisfaction for all. 24 hour service. Free Quotes. All warranties. Expert opinions. Professional attitude. Smiles all round. Phone 999 999 999 anytime. Des PerretFinancial Advisor Phone 666 666 666 anytime. |
HEY MOOK ?Hear their latest hits and misses at the Polish Club 2nd of February 2002.Doors open at 8.30. Plus support ...
|
WORRIED?
Worry no more
|
THE VICTORDAISY CUTTER 2001Lawn carpetted with weeds ? Bunker bust em' with the Daisy Cutter 2001! Painted yellow because it's dangerous. for more information phone 1080 |
|
|
||||||
 MOOKEMONFollow the adventures of the Mooks as they enter the world of Rock and Roll.Latest Episode |
|
|
BEATLE ... George Harrison | |
|
He died fearlessly Love one another. |
|
you were the light that shone in the sky all those years ago ...
|
|
|
1943 - 2001 |
|
Killed by the mix
Stories of Hobart's Independent Music Scene
********************
Readers Digestive and Businesses
Review Weakly
Present
A bridge over troubled waters
( The
MOOK management SAGA ]
*******************
*
Kellogs present.
Mr APM gets even.
Your Contributions
This newspaper is very modern so please help prevent information distortion by using email.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In a competition wracked with controversy, the current MOOK CHESS CHAMP, a Mr Kapov of Hobart,
looks certain to retain his treasured trophy.
The Reserves, the so called called 'Hobart punk band' is getting its comeuppance courtesy of a thorough Jeffing from Ex Model, James Freud.
After nearly 20 years of mediocre output James has taken the cake by using the band's name as a front for an album of bad footy songs.
The odd's on The Reserves, who were not considered a chance by most punters at the start of their career,
have shortened considerably following stout resistance.
'Highly underrated' said Reg Krimbly of West Eastwick, who was rumored to have once been at a Reserves gig.
'They may have got drunk at The Models show at the Red Lion and upset them' he said.
This is a far better effort than the collection of blurry dots that was passed off as a photo of Bob by alleged international photographer UMOOKU in 1978.
UMOOKU, who has been reported to be involved with notorious International Rock Superstars - Hey Mook - in a dodgy management scam, claims to have seen Bob during the rain in Melbourne, Australia.
UMOOKU and an unknown associate, reportedly made the pilgrimage from Hobart, Tanzania.
They apparently had no trouble with airport security during their escapade.
