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I'm the sensible one. You know when you have a group of friends, and there is always one who says "Perhaps this is not such a good
idea!"....that's me!! So it came as a HUGE surprise to others (and myself ! ) when I calmly informed my family and closest friends that I had, in fact, fallen head over heels in love with a man I have never met.
I am a 32 year old school teacher. I love my job. I have been blessed with good health, a quick mind and a positive outlook on life (though each of these aspects have taken some work to maintain over the years!) I have also had my share of fine romance and the seemingly inevitable heartache. It seemed to me, that life's lessons were constantly teaching me what I
DIDN'T want or need in a relationship and brought me to a place where, finally, I knew beyond doubt what I DID. "Yay for me!" I thought. "Now what?" Does this man exist? Is it possible there is someone out there who is attractive, intelligent, not emotionally damaged beyond all recognition, caring, philosophical, ambitious, funny, curious, attentive, loyal,
STRAIGHT, not afraid to commit, single and drug-free? And if he does exist...why would he want me????
You understand my dilema? I had all but resigned myself to the fact that it seemed I was destined to live my life alone. I would not settle for second best...but my preference list was a tall order to fill.(sorry darling, pardon the pun) So I guess I should not be surprised then, how this journey began.
I thought it my duty to get net connected...for work purposes only, of course ! Within a very short time, I was quite taken with the chat options available...and "met" some wonderfuly suppportive people in the process of learning how to use this thing. One night, I was mindlessly looking at who was online..when a username caught my eye.Don't ask me why. I don't know. I sent a message...my comments intended to be a witty one-off..what resulted was a few funny messages sent back and forth...and a promise to chat sometime soon.
'Sometime soon' has turned out to be every day (almost) for nearly five months...sometimes just a few hours...sometimes 13 hours.. ..right through the night! "Sometime" also included phone bills that are just too scary to mention! You see.... I found a man that fits each and every one of the criteria on my list....and some I hadn't even thought of!! But there's a catch. Isn't there always?
I live in Adelaide, South Australia. He lives in Canada. Oh dear! As we grew closer, we investigated all the possible ways we could arrange to meet. For months, the plan was for me to hop on a plane in the first available school holidays and jet off to meet the man I longed to hold. How romantic! As the weeks and months went by, nothing here made much sense. Paul is the first person I think of when I wake in the morning...and the last person I think of when I close my eyes at night. When events
happen in my life, he is the one I want to tell. Every day, in so many little ways, he gives me the strength to just be myself. He makes me so proud of being the woman that I am. I am his anchor. He is my rock. Put simply, we make sense.
But there is only so much distance a relationship can endure. Something needed to happen. And happen it did. One day, after Paul had been away from home for several weeks at a convention, he told me that he thought me going there for a few weeks was pointless. I thought "Oh dear...here we go." Nothing could have prepared me for what was to follow. He calmly explained that we needed to spend time together...more than two weeks...in order for us to know how we really felt. Neither of us was looking for a holiday fling. So, to cut (an already) long story short, this is what transpired....Paul has packed his life into boxes and is jetting out here to be with me for at least 3 months.....(hopefuly longer) We have decided to take each other's hand and take a huge leap of faith together. We are
going to give it our best shot. We know there are no guarantees. We don't go into this blindly. We have planned for as many contingencies as possible...but there are a thousand 'What ifs' that could cause our house of cards to crumble. But everytime the fear of failure threatens to paralyse me...I ask myself this. "What if...this is the man that I am supposed to be with?" ... "What if all my life experiences have brought me to this point...this place in space...so I could recognise how wonderful
and right this man is...faults and all?" and above all..."What if we are amongst the lucky few who find their once-in-a-lifetime love?" Worth the risk I think....don't you?
So the countdown is on...and who knows where it will lead?
Wish us well. We are good people. Not super-models or business
moguls....just ordinary people...just like you.
If you think you have found your 'special someone' on the
internet....good for you! My advice is, ask the tough questions....and be yourself. You can't keep pretense up for a lifetime. If you are still searching....hang in there! The internet brings the world to your door. And above all, savour the time you have to get to know each other...to know how the other person thinks and feels. If it's meant to be....move heaven and Earth to make it happen!
In closing, I send a message to my sweetheart....Paul, you complete me. This is as close to shouting it from a roof-top
that I can manage at this moment in time...so let me state simply, but with complete and heartfelt honesty...I love you.
Andrea.
x x x x
UPDATE!!
Well...Paul arrived in Australia last September. Originally, he planned to be here for 3 months just to test the waters. It seems
however, that cupid shot his little arrows in the right direction !
Paul and I fell head over heels for each other and after many extensions of visas, we married on May 6th. We have begun our new life together here in Australia...and I have never been happier in my life !! He is such a darling and I thank god I met him on the net.
We had five wonderful (and frustrating) months getting to know each other before actually meeting. It gave us a window into each others mind and soul. I cherish every moment we spent sharing our hopes, dreams and fears. It has been such a wonderful foundation for marriage. Communication between us is open, honest and ongoing. Words are what brought us together and will act as the cement that keeps us that way.
I hope things are going well for you also....I love your page so much. It gives so many people hope and the encouragement to love. I still find it a bit weird explaining to people that we met on the internet...it seems such a silly thing really..but there is no way I would have met the man of my dreams otherwise...distance was our enemy.
Anyway, thank you for providing such a public way for me to tell Paul how much I love him. We will keep you posted from Down
Under.
Take care
Andrea
vemtira@oocities.com ©1998-2002
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