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When Dreams Become Reality
The Story of Zopop and Lily ( aka Keith and Lily )
I know this might sound familiar, but it was a rainy day in Seattle and had to be a warm, sunny day in Florida. I was home recuperating from a minor surgery and was scanning the chat rooms on America Online. I remember at the time how much I liked going into chat rooms that were for people over thirty. No, I cannot tell you who showed up first, because it doesn't seem important. What is important is that we both were there.
From my vantage point,, he was the funniest and seemed to be intelligent. He seemed to have the knack for figuring people out, and if someone mentioned a problem he wanted to help them. I was very drawn to this person, and when he directed his chat toward me, I hung on his every word, and responded to him unlike I had ever done when online.
After some time had passed, he announced to the room that he needed to leave. I found myself disappointed and to some extent sad. Just then, he sent me an instant message and told me he wanted to continue to talk to me, and I was thrilled. We went into a private chat where we started to learn about each other in ways I have never known a person. We talked for hours and the biggest thing we learned about one another was that we lived so far apart, he in Orlando and I in Seattle. He felt a sad irony, commenting that he had finally connected with someone he enjoyed communicating with online, and yet she could not be further away. This became a joke for us, and though we didn't know it at the time it was to become our biggest obstacle.
When I logged online the next time, the first thing I did was look for him. Before I could send him an instant message, he sent me one and the conversation went from there. I learned that we both were having a hard time not thinking about the other one and we both decided there was a common interest.
As we both were new to America Online, neither of us had a picture scanned, so we could see what each other looked like. However, at the time it didn't seem important. We were too far apart to think about meeting each other and we enjoyed each others company so much that physical appearance didn't seem to matter. My deepest instincts told me that he was a beautiful person.
As time went on we chatted everyday, sometimes more than once a day. We talked into the wee hours of the morning, and I found myself getting up at 3:30 am so I could IM him before he went to work. The time difference was 3 hours and really hard on both of us. My feelings for him were growing and I found myself worried about the distance and the impossibilities of our " relationship ". I soon learned from him that I was not the only one.
One night we were together in a private chat, and the feelings could no longer be held back. The feelings of a special kind of love were expressed and responded too. There was a relief in having the words out there, but also mixed emotions. How could this happen? How could we feel these feelings and yet not know what the other one looks like? Where would this take us? There were so many obstacles. We were both single parents with responsibilities. It was a relationship, that for all it was worth, seemingly had no future and yet feelings were so strong.
We both finally had pictures scanned and we were able to look into each others face. This only deepened our feelings for each other. This was a bittersweet moment for me. Along with the distance and my growing feelings for him, I became very afraid. I was asking myself…Where was the future in this? He had similar struggles over the same things.
We made the decision to talk on the phone. We had heard the horror stories about people who met online with long distance bills ranging into the hundred of dollars. We didn't want to be like that and decided to buy pre-paid phone cards so we could talk only as long as the card would allow. The first time I heard his voice I was enchanted, it was smooth, and loving and I could feel his love in my heart as he spoke the word I had longed to hear for many months.
The more we talked on the phone, the deeper my love grew for him. I could no longer suppress the desire to touch him and feel his touch as well. It was something I could no longer deny myself. His work schedule did not allow him enough time to make the trip to Seattle. So I asked him if I could make the trip to Florida? It was not something he had considered since he saw it as his place to make the trip. But the answer was yes, he would like that very much, and the plans were made.
I left Seattle on the 6 hour, red eye flight that would put me in Orlando about 8:00am on a Saturday morning. I had a long time to think about him and what I was about to do. I was excited, not nervous. When the plane finally landed I wanted to push everyone aside so I could get to him, to be in his arms as I had dreamed of for so long. I was at the back of the plane and had to wait my turn to disembark. When I stepped off the plane, I looked for him. When our eyes first met, the first thing I said to myself was : I know you ". We walked into each others arms and kissed our first kiss. Time stopped for us as we lived what we had been waiting for, for so many months. People moved all around us and we knew that some were watching us. We didn't stop to care about that for a moment, as it was our first touch of the love we felt and nothing was going to over shadow it.
We had four days of perfect love. With each passing day however, we realized that it was one day closer to my going home. We pondered how we could be together and not lose all the other things important in our lives. How could we be together and blend our families and no one suffer because of our love. Tears of sorrow flowed freely my last day in Orlando, both of us afraid of what was to come. How could we have found such a perfect love, one we both had been waiting for all of our lives, and see it end before it had a chance?
When we arrived at the airport, and we were waiting for my flight, our tears joined together as we said our good-byes, not knowing when we would see each other again. I felt as though I was leaving my heart with him, and yet taking his heart with me. I boarded my plane and I could see him through the window and I watched him until I could no longer see him. I cried for the entire flight.
There was a layover in Atlanta for about an hour, and I took the time to call him. I needed to tell him again that I loved him and also hear it from him. When I arrived back in Seattle, my closest friend picked me up and took me home. She said she could see my broken heart, but she also said she could see the love I felt for the man of my dreams. I explained to her my fears of never seeing him again and she understood how I felt.
By the time I arrived home, the despair was so evident that I could not hide it from my ex-husband, who had stayed with my children while I was away. He asked me how it went and I explained to him that it was everything that I had ever dreamed of. I told him that it was so hard to leave and knowing that I was not going to be with him again was almost more than I could bare. His reply surprised me. He told me to make plans to be with Keith and go back to Florida. I told him as much as I would like to do that I could never be without my boys. He said I didn't have to be, I could take them with me and he would tak them during the summers and holidays.
This was something I had not planned on, but I accepted his offer and quickly Emailed Keith the possibilities of our future. Being a single father himself, Keith's first response to me was that he didn't want to see the boys seperated from their dad, knowing it would be very hard for my ex to do. After some time and deep conversations all around, it was agreed that the plan would work.
There was another trip to Florida for job and house hunting. Many more discussions anout when to make the trip, disagreements and yes, some real fears that this was the right thing to do. Now after living in Florida for more than a year and making adjustments to life so that everyone is happy, I have to say that it was all worth it. We have had our share of conflicts. It has not been perfect, but our love has been tested and grown stronger with each passing challenge. My ex-husband has moved to Florida and made a new life as well (He met a great lady on AOL who lives about 40 minutes west of us and they are also very happy!!)
The object of my online dreams and fantasy became the man of my reality. HE is My Keith and I am his Lily. We still Email each other all the time… words of love flow online and off for Zopop and Lilybrat.
vemtira@oocities.com ©1998-2002
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