I first encountered my current husband while I was still in the dying throes of my first marriage. This was not on the Internet, though, but an online entertainment service with an 800 number so phone bills could be kept at a minimum. When I first encountered Jerry it was in a chat room and he seemed like a nice enough guy, but I was still married and not looking for another man, so I didn't pay a lot of attention to him. Also, at that time I had been corresponding with another man who was interested in a friend of Jerry's and told me that Jerry was a very manipulative and controlling person and I should steer clear of him.
Being the kind of person I didn't pay any attention to what was told me because I always prefer to make up my own mind about whether or not a person is someone I might like to know.
Shortly after this I left my ex husband and moved to another state. I had lost track of Jerry. A few weeks later I moved to even another state for a job as I couldn't find one in the first state I had moved to. At this point I bought a used computer and linked back up with the online entertainment service I had originally met Jerry on. (Now, you must understand I did not do this to find him... I had made many good friends on that service and wanted to get back in touch with them.) Much to my surprise Jerry was back online too and we started chatting and playing an online game called Othello, or Reversi, together. As we chatted I began to realize that this was a most unusual man... he was
intelligent, had a great sense of humor, and didn't have any of the 'woman's place is in the kitchen' type of mentality that I so despise in men! My father had always encouraged me to be as intelligent as I possibly could and many men are intimidated by this. My ex was, but not Jerry!
Finally we talked on the phone several times as well as continuing to chat online and play Othello together every chance we had. Interestingly his voice was not particularly sexy to me, but then I have never been hung up on voices. We began trying to make plans to visit one another somehow. He had a job and so did I, thus making the planning a little difficult. It was foaling season at the horse farm where I worked and I couldn't really take the time off from work to go visit him.
There was only one problem as far as I was concerned and I wasn't sure it was resolvable. Jerry is 8 years younger than I am and I have never been attracted to younger men. Chatting with him on the phone and online, though, eased my concern because he was so mature, intelligent, and thought so much like me that the age difference seemed to dwindle more and more each day.
I would like to digress a bit here. During the years I was married to my ex I used to dream about a man who loved me so completely and totally and was in every way my ideal. (My ex was not, something I didn't find out until after we were married.) These were not sexual dreams, but dreams that left me feeling so bereft when I would wake up that many times I would wake crying. I can still so clearly remember the last dream I had of this man... he told me good-bye. The reason for this seemed to be the fact that we could never be together, but as I said this was just a dream and I accepted that although it left me feeling inconsolable. That was six years before I left my ex.
Well, finally the day did come when Jerry came to see me. At this point he lived in New York and I lived in Florida. He drove down to see me (my daughter and her boyfriend were living with me at the time so it was fairly safe.) The minute I saw Jerry I recognized him!!! He was the man in my dreams!!! Talk about an eerie eerie feeling! I was almost in shock!
Well, things worked out beautifully. It wasn't long before I was
making the move to New York to be with Jerry. That was almost six years ago. We have been married over two years now and I have learned what a soul mate is and that he is mine. (It took me a while because I had to be sure he wouldn't be like my ex and turn into Mr. Hyde after the wedding!) I never believed in that concept before but I do now!!!
Oh, and an added note- Jerry is not at all manipulative and controlling. In fact, he is just about the opposite. He encourages me to be myself, no matter where that may take me! :)
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