I See Dead People

EULOGIES

I've been called upon to deliver the eulogy at the funeral services of a number of relatives and friends. Their eulogies are included here as a tribute to their memory. I hope the list won't be added to for a long, long time.

• Emil Pearce
• Lyn Deamon
• Roley Greet

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EMIL ALLEN PEARCE

Born Allen Emil Tuominen at Pendle Hill, NSW on 5th January 1926.
Died at Ipswich, Qld on 9th December 2000, aged 74 years.
Funeral service at Ipswich Central Uniting Church, 15 December 2000.
Interred at Warrill Park Lawn Cemetery.

(Emil was my sister Stephanie’s father-in-law -- her husband Lance’s father -- and a bit of a mate of mine).

When Lance told me last weekend that Emil wanted me to speak at his funeral, I was reminded of when Emil and I had talked about this very thing. It was a year or two ago, and I we were over at Steph and Lance's, having a few beers and listening to the races, and I was doing what I occasionally do -- picking horses very scientifically (because I liked their names), and getting Lance to place a few bets for me on his TAB phone account.

Emil always said he thought I was "all right", ever since I ran into him one day at the North Star, maybe 15 - 20 years ago, and I bought him a beer. I had some good times with Emil, swapping yarns and talking about books we'd read, what the kids were up to and whatever. He used to like to let me know when he had a hot tip, but it always seemed to work out that Emil'd get on and win a packet for a few starts, but by the time he gave me the nod, that particular neddy was a hot favourite and had mysteriously gone off its form.

I can’t remember if I actually backed any winners that day at Steph and Lance's, but I do remember the conversation getting around to how Emil wanted things done when he died. If I recall correctly, I think he'd not long come out of hospital, and probably Lance had suggested to him that he should think about getting his affairs in order. Anyway, Emil asked me would I speak at his funeral and I said yes. I am very proud to do so today, but sad that the time came around sooner than any of us hoped.

So, here we are today to say our last good-byes to Emil, and to share our memories and reflections on his life. There's no shortage of memories, and no shortage of people with a story to tell about Emil, because when you try to sum up the kind of person he was, the one thing you can't be is indifferent. Emil was the kind of person who could have you ready to strangle him one day, then next day thinking what a great bloke he was. He was a complex person -- lots of people knew him, but probably only his family and a few others would feel that they really knew him well. Emil was his own man, and he took life and everything in it on his own terms or not at all.

Emil started his life pretty much as he ended it, as a battler. He was the 5th of 7 children born to his mother, Gladys Entwistle. When Emil was born at Pendle Hill, Sydney on 5th January 1926, his mother had two older children, Clarrie and Joan. She had already been widowed once and lost 2 other children, Jean and Adele. Emil's father Vaino Tuominen was a seaman and carpenter from Finland, and Emil was named after his grandfather. When Emil was only a year or so old, his father died. His mother married again, to Herbert Pearce, and there were two more children, Kevin and Brian. Emil took his step-father's surname, and was known throughout his life as Emil Pearce. He was very fond of his elder sister Joan, and was close to his youngest brother Brian.

Life was obviously hard for Gladys and her family. Emil said his earliest memory was of being in a horse-drawn wagon with a lantern at one in the morning, while the family "did a runner" to dodge the rent. They apparently moved a lot, usually skipping on the rent, mostly in and around Parramatta. Emil remembered being sent to the cattle slaughter-yards, where it was possible to milk the cows destined for slaughter: he spoke of the blood-tainted "strawberry milk" that at least cost nothing. Rabbits were a source of cheap meat for the family. Gladys used to give Emil 6d to take down the road to a neighbour who raised rabbits, and tell him to get a fat one. He'd hand over the 6d, and the bloke would open the door to the bedroom where he kept the rabbits and send you in to get one. "A fat one?" Emil used to say, "Just bloody catching one was enough!"

There was the time the dunny-man's cart horse bolted. As it careered around the corner, the dunny-man lost control altogether and the cart overturned. Young Emil arrived on the scene of mass devastation and innocently commented "Have an accident, mate?" The dripping dunny-man eyed him and said "No, just doing a stocktake, mate, I'm a couple of turds short!"

As you'd expect after a story like that, (and I always took Emil's more colourful stories with a large dose of salt) young Emil had a taste for excitement and entertainment, especially going to the pictures whenever he had the money to go. Emil claimed to know a young man who worked at the Roxy cinema as a lolly-boy, who later became a household name as Chips Rafferty.

But money was tight most of the time, and Emil recalled with some bitterness the time that his school had a special visitor -- a man who played the piano with his nose. It was a big deal, and all the kids at school brought along their ha'penny to see the man play the piano with his nose -- all except Emil and his mate, Skinny Fowler, because neither of them had a ha'penny. So Emil and Skinny Fowler got sent out to clean up the school yard while the rest of the pupils watched the show. Emil was so disgusted he heaved a brick through the window where the bloke was playing, then he and Skinny bolted. That pretty well set the tone for many aspects of Emil's later life. He had a typically Australian disdain for authority; his mates were battlers, and they stuck by each other; and if someone did the dirty on you, you got square.

Along with show business, horses figured in a lot of Emil's yarns about his early years, and Skinny Fowler played a part in many of them. There was the time he and Skinny had acquired a horse from somewhere, and for some reason they had to take it through Skinny's house and out the back. As they led it through the house, the horse's hooves went through all the floorboards. Or when the great Australian film-maker Charles Chauvel was shooting his epic "Forty Thousand Horsemen" on the sand dunes at Cronulla. Emil and Skinny went along, presumably hoping to get a chance to be involved in the film. They hung around the location until Chauvel finally yelled out for someone to get them off the set! Emil had an ambition to be a jockey, but he grew too big. He had a lifelong passion for anything connected with horses and racing. Perhaps more surprising though, it was only a few years ago that he confessed to his thwarted ambition in show business-- he'd always wanted to be a tap-dancer. He was quietly thrilled and a bit envious to see his grandson Marcus become a dancer.

Emil was 13 or so when he left school, and around 14 when he left home to go working up-country clearing brigalow. At sixteen, still looking for excitement, he lied about his age and signed up in the Army, because he wanted to go to Egypt and see the pyramids. Well, he didn't. He saw the military lock-up at Cowra, which was alongside the detention camp where Japanese and other prisoners of war were held, site of the infamous Cowra breakout. According to Emil's various yarns, he was locked up either for punching an officer, or for going AWOL and getting pinched by the MPs while he was lounging beside a hotel pool in Sydney -- or perhaps it was both!

Emil's mother and stepfather left Sydney and moved to Ipswich, where they bought the Oakdale guest-house in Milford Street. Sometime after the war, Emil came up to Queensland for a bit of a holiday with them. Fate took a hand then, in the person of an attractive young lady called Lorna Dilger, who with her sister Corinne, was living at the guest-house at the time. Nature and romance took their course, and Emil and Lorna were married in the old Ipswich Congregational Church in October 1947. (Three weeks later, the church burned down, as did Oakdale guest-house some 45 years later). Sometime shortly after their marriage, Lorna and Emil moved to a rented house at Haigslea, and Emil worked in the mines in Rosewood.

They lived there for some time, in pretty basic conditions -- no electricity, kero lamps for light, no piped water and plenty of snakes. Lorna's family lived up the road, and Bardie, Lorna's father, gave Emil the use of a horse and saddle to get to work at the mine. However, eventually the saddle was needed back again, so Emil rode on a cornsack. Then the horse had to go back too, and Emil acquired the nickname "21" -- he walked 7 miles to work, shovelled 7 tons of coal, then walked 7 miles home again. At some stage, Emil and Lorna got their first car -- a 1920s-vintage Ford. Emil drove it home, but had no idea how to stop the thing once he got there -- so he drove it in circles round and round the tree in the backyard until it ran out of petrol.

The children started arriving -- first Cheryl, then Michael, then Robyn, then Lance. Lorna and Emil continued to do it tough. Emil was still working in the Rosewood pits, and just when they'd start to get ahead and put some money away for the deposit to buy a house, industrial action at the mines would put them back to scratch again. In the early 50's, Emil went away for a time to work up country picking veges. He sent the money he earned home, and pretty much lived on potatoes and pumpkin. When Lance was about a year old, the family moved into a housing commission house at Samford Road, Leichhardt, and this became the family home for the next 20-odd years.

In 1956, another son, Bradley, was born. Tragically, at 8 months of age Bradley died from complications of measles. This was a bitter blow to both Lorna and Emil, and one which they never fully got over. Emil became very committed to the Methodist Church at Chubb Street for several years, and formed a high regard for Reverend Howe. He did a lot of voluntary work on church projects, including restumping the ex-Army huts which were relocated to the grounds of Lauriston Aged Persons' complex in Eastern Heights. Emil remembered the genesis of the Blue Nurses, and they later played an important part in his life.

Avril arrived in 1960, around the time that Emil started working as a builder's labourer. One of his first jobs was on the construction of Wyvern House, next door to this church. He went with the same firm to their next site in Brisbane, which meant a long train ride there and back every day. Another son, Ian, was born in 1961, and finally Glen, in 1963. Emil secured a job with the Commonwealth Department of Works at Amberley. He used his miner's skills in working on preparations for laying the foundations of the control tower at the base, and later, in 1964-65, arranged for his eldest son Mick to start as an apprentice carpenter when he left school.

With a large family, and relying on a labourer's income, providing for them all was a hard struggle, and the stresses of this as well as the influences of his early life took their toll. There were dark times, of anger and frustration, bitterness and hurt, that spilled over to cast their shadow on the family. Nevertheless, Emil and Lorna shared a great love for their children, and religiously every year he took them all for two weeks holiday to the beach, and dedicated that time to them. Many of their happiest memories are of these holidays, and the fun they had doing things with their dad.

During his time at Amberley, Emil obtained his drainer's licence, studying the necessary subjects through night school and correspondence. Emil obviously recognised the advantages of training and education in order to get ahead, and he placed great importance on his children getting a good education. While he didn't do much more in the way of formal education, Emil himself read widely and voraciously, and acquired not only broad general knowledge but informed opinions on a wide variety of subjects. His love of reading continued until the last few weeks of his life, when he simply couldn't read any more.

Emil had been a bit of a wild lad, and the wild streak took a long time to mellow. There were fights and car accidents, and brushes with authority. In the 60's, he was at the One Mile pub one night during a rainy spell. The river covered the One Mile Bridge and he was stuck. He tried to walk across the flooded bridge, but the guard rails had been removed to prevent debris building up. Undaunted, Emil decided to swim across, still wearing a long leather coat. He got half-way and was stranded, waterlogged and clinging to a tree in midstream. He was eventually rescued by a good samaritan who nearly drowned in the attempt, and his exploit made the front page of the Queensland Times next day. Emil churlishly insisted forever afterward, though, that he would have made it all right on his own.

Perhaps in recognition of his own reckless youth, Emil often avoided physically disciplining the children, particularly if it wasn't him they'd got into strife with! Nevetheless, he was a traditional sort of father with his children. When they reached the so-called age of discretion, the boys were granted a lot more latitude than the girls were. Emil was protective of his daughters, and young men who kept them sitting outside in their cars past midnight were usually interrupted by a sharp knock on the roof, and a terse "You, inside now, and you…off you go".

Within the close-knit community of Leichhardt, Emil looked after his own, but could be spontaneously generous when another battler was in trouble. When a family up the road were being evicted for not paying the rent, Emil passed the hat around amongst the neighbours, and he acquired a great regard for the quiet and hard-working Jimmy Wah, who without fuss put in an extremely generous amount of money to help a family he barely knew. Emil saved his respect for those who earned it according to his lights and his code -- through loyalty, mateship, hard work and genuine personal accomplishment.

Through the late 60's and early 70's, the older children grew up, moved away, travelled, worked, married and generally lived their own lives. In 1976, Lorna called it quits, although they never divorced. She and the three youngest children, Avril, Ian and Glen, left Samford Road. Emil stayed on, and for the next few years shared the house with cowboys and rodeo-riders who used it as a half-way house. With plenty of masculine company and their involvement with horses, Emil was in his element. Ian and Glen used to ride their bikes over to visit their father, and Glen spent most of his time there when he wasn't at school.

A few months after Lorna left, Emil got himself into a bit of strife at the Base, through a bungled attempt to acquire a washing-machine. Although he had help in the enterprise, Emil put his hand up to take the blame so his young mate wouldn't lose his job over it. The senior officer investigating the incident was sympathetic to Emil's situation, but had to ask why they found him with TWO washing-machines. "Spare parts" said Emil. "Well" said the officer "I have to ask if you have removed any other property during your employment here?" "Put it this way" said Emil, "if those F-111s didn't have wings I would have got them out the gate". He was offered a transfer, but he refused it and chose to leave on his own terms.

By 1981, Ian, Glen, Avril and her partner Alex had gone up to Gladstone to work. Emil's blue heeler dog got killed, so without company he reckoned he had no option but to gate-crash Ian and Glen's freedom. Lance helped by kindly providing him with the address. Emil turned up unannounced one night, not having worked for 5 years. Glen took him straight out again, got him fixed up with a job that night, and he started work next morning. Having his Dad living with him cramped Glen's style a bit. Having your father in the back seat when you take your girlfriend to the drive-in can't have been much fun, although Glen nearly succeeded in losing him at the cafeteria. He wasn't above sending Emil out to wait in the rain while he entertained his girlfriend, either.

They stayed in Gladstone 18 months. Emil had a good time, loved the job and was well regarded by the bosses. When work finished, he and Glen were among only 6 of around 300 workers who were asked to sign on for the next job, in Newcastle, although Emil had to lie about his age and dye his hair! He loved the 16 months in Newcastle. He lived by the beach, and developed a great network of mates and fellow-punters, even among those who resented the "Banana-benders". His greatest triumph was backing Strawberry Road at 16 -1 with an SP bookie, $100 on the nose. The Queensland horse romped home and Emil broke the bookie, who had to pay him off the rest of his winnings next day.

He had further stints back home, over in Perth, then back in Newcastle; and except for Perth, he worked with the same group of men the whole time. Emil could adapt to whatever environment he was in. Wherever he went, he became the de facto social director, and usually a punter's club going. In 1985, he more or less retired, although for some years afterward he stayed on the look-out for work opportunities, and kept his drainer's licence current. He renewed it last in September just gone.

A few years after he retired, Emil sold the house in Samford road and moved around, living in rented rooms, guest-houses and boarding-houses. He had a number of bouts of illness, including peptic ulcers, arthritis, gout and emphysema. As age and illness crept up, he relied more on the help and support of others. Steph and Lance provided ongoing help with just about everything, and he became a regular client of Meals on Wheels and the Blue Nurses, "the girls", for whom he had the greatest admiration and respect. He became a part of my extended family.

With time, some of the hurt that existed between Emil and his family started to ease, and relationships that had been damaged began to be rebuilt. He was a loving and concerned grand-father, and extended that love and interest to the children of friends as well. Over the last three months of his life, Emil actively reached out to his family. He spent some precious hours with them, and there was a sense of closure over many past issues.

Right to the last, Emil stayed his own man, and took life on his own terms. He never stopped looking to the future, or keeping tabs on what was going on with everyone. Two weeks ago he asked me if my niece Belinda was going to be there, at my parents', on Christmas Day, because he liked Belinda -- "she's all right, that girl". He said he hoped to see my daughter Fran before she left for England. Just a few hours before he died, he talked to Fran about her trip, and wished her well. He spent his last hours surrounded by the love and care of family.

Emil never gave up, in life or death, but he always used to say that he never outstayed his welcome. When he finally had enough, he called it a draw and left as he usually did, on his own terms.

How can you capture a complicated man like Emil in a few words? We can only try. He was exasperating. Stubborn. Opinionated. Angry. Tight with a dollar, and always on the look-out for a good lurk. At odds with formal authority and power in all its forms. A battler. A man who believed in rough justice, in getting square. A man who struggled with the darker side of his nature, and who made mistakes that he lived to regret.

He was also intelligent, keen-minded and totally involved in the world around him. He had a sense of fun, and a taste for new experiences. He never stopped learning, never stopped planning, never became so fixed in his opinions and attitudes that he couldn't change. He could be unexpectedly generous, and tolerant of different lifestyles and beliefs. He despised pretension, and had no time for tall poppies, power-brokers and self-promoters. He was a good mate, and a great story-teller. An intensely loyal man who tried to look after his own, and to whom doing the dirty on a mate was the worst thing a man could do. A man who thought about life's big questions, and tried to find his own answers in his own way. A man who, finally, was able to learn from his mistakes and to continue to grow as a person. Above all, faults and all, Emil was able to love and be loved for what he was.

Hey, that Emil Pearce, he was all right.

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