Give Teddy open heart surgery Insist on being breastfed until after you’ve cut your first teeth Drink from fish bowls Wipe sticky hands on a visitor’s dress Demolish shop window displays If you find a tiny hole in a jumper, pull at it until it’s no longer a tiny hole Don’t waste a good drink – only ever spill one if you know it will stain Demand to watch the same video over and over and over again Scream in the supermarket Always embarrass an older brother or sister among school friends Call the childminder ‘Mummy’ in front of your own mother Always find an excuse not to go clothes shopping Use the toilet on display in a DIY store Remember that ‘Don’t touch’ is a license to handle things Suckle on anything vaguely nipple – shaped Top Page 2 Naughty Babies Page Main Page