Insist on junk food in preference to healthy alternatives Prove that no nappy is leak-proof Never take ‘No’ for an answer Always wipe your mouth after being kissed by an elderly relative Train your parents, but let them think they’re training you Don’t sit still when having your hair cut Fall out of bed without waking up Be reluctant to share your toys with other children Enjoy repetitive musical toys that grate on adults’ nerves Be afraid of Father Christmas Talk all the way through your first visit to the cinema Be ticklish Induce heart attacks – stand up in your high-chair When learning to stand up, ensure you know how to sit down again Perfect the art of moving around only when you’re on your own Top Page 5 Page 7 Naughty Babies Page Main Page