Lesson 37

Fathers are commanded by God to bring their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).
With the help of their wives, all fathers must faithfully obey God's commands concerning their children in order to bring up godly offspring (Malachi 2:15).

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.                                           (Ephesians 6:4)

Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking GODLY OFFSPRING. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.                                                                                                    (Malachi 2:15)

God holds fathers responsible for the upbringing of their offsprings.
It is the father's duty to instruct and train their children in the ways of the Lord.
Moral training of children begins at home.
Moral values are inculcated into children through daily instruction and reinforcement at home.

Fathers are responsible because, as head of their own family, they have been given the power by God to discipline their children with the rod (Proverbs 13:24).

He who spares the rod hates his son,
     but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.            (Proverbs 13:24)

It is not the responsibility of the school teachers, Sunday School teachers, youth leaders, youth pastors, or the pastors of the church to bring up your children in the ways of God.
People outside your family, in the schools and in the church, can only teach and encourage your children to obey God through godly instruction and counsel.

However, they have no disciplinary power to enforce their words of instructions.
Only fathers have been vested with that power.
Therefore never blame others if your children are wayward and indiscipline.
Blame only yourselves.

The consequences of a father's disobedience to God's commands concerning his children are sad and pitiful.
The disobedient father destroys both his children and himself as well.
Most parents are not aware of the consequences of their lack of willingness to train their children.
However, ignorance is no excuse for disobeying God.

When children are not taught and trained in the ways of God, they will not know right from wrong (Exodus 15:26; Hebrews 5:14).
They will be under the control of the devil (Ephesians 2:1-3).
Such children will be evil and wicked.

But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all His commandments and His statues which I command thee this day: that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee:
Thou shalt beget sons and daughters, but thou shalt NOT ENJOY them; for  they shall go into CAPTIVITY.              (Deuteronomy 28:15, 41 KJV)

Their children will be a constant thorn in the flesh to them as long as they live, unless the parents repent and ask God to intervene (Proverbs 17:25; 29:17).
Such children will bring grief and bitterness to their parents instead of delight.
They will also terrorize other children in the school and in the church and bring shame to their parents.

A foolish son brings GRIEF to his father
     and BITTERNESS to the one who bore him.                     (Proverbs 17:25)

Discipline your son, and he will give you PEACE;
     he will bring DELIGHT to your soul.                                     (Proverbs 29:17)

They will be socially deformed when they grow up and will not be able to interact peacefully with other adults.
They will find it hard to hold down a job, not being able to withstand the pressure and discipline of the workplace.
They will also become irresponsible to their own families if they ever get married.
In the end, some will stick to their parents even when they are old and terrorize their own siblings and parents as well.

Discipline your son, for in that there is hope;
     do not be a willing party to his DEATH.                               (Proverbs 19:18)

Do not withhold discipline from a child;
     if you punish him with the rod, he will not DIE.
Punish him with the rod
     and save his soul from DEATH.                                        (Proverbs 23:13-14)

When a man trains up his children in the ways of the Lord, he is a person who shows that he fears the Lord.
Such a man obeys the commands of God concerning his children.
Such a man pleases the Lord.
And because of his obedience to God in matters concerning his family, God will use such a man mightily outside the family too.

E.g. When God wanted to have a people called by His name, he chose Abraham to be the father of the nation that will be His people.
However, God chose Abraham and not other men because of Abraham's obedience to God concerning his children and his household (Genesis 18:17-19 KJV).

And the LORD said, "Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?
For I know him, that he will COMMAND HIS CHILDREN AND HIS HOUSEHOLD after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD , to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which He hath spoken of him.                                          (Genesis 18:17-19 KJV)

In fact, our obedience to God within our family is a test of our faithfulness to God in the little things.
If we are faithful to God in matters concerning our family (a small ministry), God will trust us to look after His people in the church (a large ministry).
If a man is not able to even manage his own family well, he is not qualified to be an elder in the church (1 Timothy 3:4-5).
Otherwise he will set a bad example for others and will also be ashamed because of his unruly children (Titus 1:6).

He [an overseer in the church] must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can be take care of God's church?)                                                                                           (1 Timothy 3:4-5)

An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.                                                                                       (Titus 1:6)

Eli was High Priest at the Tabernacle at Shiloh in the time of the judges.
His two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, were priests of the Lord (1 Samuel 1:3).

Eli's sons were wicked men who had no regard for the Lord (2 Samuel 2:12).
They treated the Lord's offering with contempt and they slept with the women who served at the entrance to the Tabernacle (2 Samuel 2:13-22).
Eli knew all about their sins but he only verbally rebuked them, without getting rid of them from the priesthood.
His sons, of course, did not listen to their father's rebuke (2 Samuel 2:22-25).

God, however, took a serious view of the matter and passed judgment on both Eli and his two sons.
God judged the sons for their sins and Eli for not restraining his son (1 Samuel 3:11-14).
As a result, at the next battle with the Philistines, both Hophni and Phinehas died.
Eli, on hearing the news of his sons' death and of the loss of the ark of the Lord during the battle, fell backwards off his chair and died (1 Samuel 4:1-18).

And the LORD said to Samuel: "See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle. At that time I will carry out against Eli everything I spoke against his family - from the beginning to end. For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and HE FAILED TO RESTRAIN THEM. Therefore, I swore to the house of Eli, the guilt of Eli's house will never be atoned for by sacrifice or offering.'"                                                                (1 Samuel 3:11-14)

When we as fathers obey God and bring up our children in the ways of the Lord, we are honoring God.
However, if we do not obey God's commands we are despising God.
And when we despise God, God will not honor us.
This was the warning God gave to Eli before He passed judgment on Eli's family for his unwillingness to discipline his children (1 Samuel 2:29-33).

Now a man of God came to Eli and said to him, "This is what the LORD says: 'Why do you scone my sacrifice and offering that I prescribed for my dwelling? Why do you HONOR YOUR SONS MORE THAN ME by fattening yourselves on the choice parts of every offering made by my people of Israel?'
Therefore the LORD, the God of Israel, declares: 'I promised that your house and your father's house would minister before me forever.' But now the LORD declares: 'Far be it from me! Those WHO HONOR ME I WILL HONOR, but those who DESPISE ME will be DISDAINED.'"
                                                                                                   (1 Samuel 2:27, 29-30)

In His word, God has given to us many principles by which we may train up our children to be godly in character.

These principles are as follows:

We belong to God.
We have been bought with price (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
Therefore, all that we have also belongs to God, including our children.

For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified [made holy] through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified [made holy] through he believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are HOLY.                                                                 (1 Corinthians 7:14)

A child's basic character is formed by the age of ten.
And his training should begin from the day he is born (Proverbs 22:6).

Train a child in the way he should go.
     and when he is old he will not turn from it.                           (Proverbs 22:6)

Your thought

1. Who do you think is responsible for the moral upbringing of children?
   

2. Are most parents in your country fulfilling their responsibility to bring up godly children? If not, why not?
   

3. If your friends have rebellious children at home, what steps would you advice them to take to help their children become godly children.
   

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