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The Blind Date
Setting: Fancy restaurant. Few other tables inhabited by happy couples staring adoringly into each other’s eyes.
Characters:
Steve- A young to middle-aged businessman, has bad luck finding things in common with women, very successful and nice, looks very smart and clean.
Laura – capable, independent woman, very mature and responsible looking, gets excited when she finds she has so much in common with this dashing young man.
Steve: Hi, I’m Steve. (Totally enamored by the girl before him)
Laura: Hello Steve, I’m Laura. (Equally enamored by the chap in front of her)
Steve: Sammy didn’t tell me your name was Laura, wow, I’ve always loved that name.
Laura: That is Amazing, when Sammy told me he had a friend named Steve I was so inspired, I just think that Steve is the nicest most sensible name.
Steve: What a coincidence. I’m so happy you thought of meeting here, this is my all time favorite restaurant.
Laura: No Joke! Mine Too!!! This is so crazy. I love the Garden Tofu Salad here. I get it every time.
Steve: Remarkable, I order that every time too, I’m a vegetarian.
Laura: I am too! This is so incredible.
Steve: What about this… spearmint of cool mint?
Laura: Are we talking gum or toothpaste?
Steve: gum, Wriggly’s.
Laura: Cool mint
Steve: Me too!!!! Oh my gosh, we have so much in common.
Dill or Sweet Pickles.
Laura: Definitely Dill!
Steve: Brad Pitt or Tom Cuise?
Laura: Tom
Steve: white or red roses?
Laura: red
Steve: What’s your favorite cartoon?
Laura: that would have to be “Hey Arnold”.
Steve: Wow! That is amazing, I love “Hey Arnold”! What’s your favorite episode?
Laura: I love the one when Helga almost lets every one know that she –
Steve: … is really in love with Arnold, I love the one!!!
Here’s a tough one, if you had to die, would you prefer fire or ice?
Laura: Oooo, let me think. Ice.
Steve: It’s uncanny; I usually have such a hard time finding things in common with successful mature women!
Ok, Giant Robots attacking the city or Giant Monsters?
Laura: Monsters. (She says very calm and decisive, she knows what she’s talking about)
Steve: (complete look of shock and disgust taking over his face) what?!?
Laura: Robots are too predicable. They do what ever the evil genius behind them programs them to do, those programs can be over ridden and that’s then end. Monsters can mutate, evolve, reproduce, and you never know what they gain from destroying the city.
Steve: (stands up and shouts) But Robots can shoot lasers!
Laura: Monsters can have thick laser repelling scales that send them back into the robot short-circuiting the whole system. (stands too)
Steve: Oh Yah!!! Well what if my Robot just shoots your monsters hands off!!!
Laura: My Monster would grow back several new hands bigger and better than the last time. (confident she’s won she sits back down in a very smug manner)
Steve: Oh Yah, well – (getting cut off )
Laura: Then a blue screen would appear on the robot saying, “This Robot has performed an illegal opperation and must shut down.”
Steve: Oh yah! Well, I would just get a giant bomb and blow your Monster to smithereens. (still standing and shouting, now attracting the attention from some of the other people in the restaurant.)
Laura: I wouldn’t do that if I were you! See my Monster is protected by the endangered species act and it’s against the law to kill it. If you even thought about killing it the Animal right’s activists would be all over you!
Steve: ugh… (Looks around lost) well… you know… you… you… YOU SUCK!
Laura: You loose!!!
Steve: Lets talk about something else. (flops down in defeat)
Laura: Ok, who’d kick whose butt, Spiderman or Batman?
Steve: Hah, what kind of a question is that??? Of course it’s Batman.
Laura: (Making that hideous game show buzzer noise), I can’t believe you would pick Batboy over the web slinger? I mean, it’s not even like Batman’s a real superhero!
Steve: Of course he is!
Laura: He has no SUPER powers, ergo not a SUPER Hero.
Steve: Batman is so cool; he’s got that great utility belt and mad skills. He doesn’t need super powers!
Laura: He’s a millionaire with a genius butler and a spiffy car, take away his money he’s nothing, you know those muscles are fake. It’s just the way they made the suit. He’s not really that buff!
Steve: That’s not true! And Spiderman is just a skinny little kid!
Laura: Spidie is hot! He doesn’t have a plastic suit or any money backing him. He’s out there on his own saving the world without a team or anything.
Steve: Yeah, at least Batman’s city likes him!
Laura: Hah, who’s ever heard of Gothem city anyway!!! New York is a real place and New Yorkers don’t like anyone.
Steve: He doesn’t even have a sidekick, how lame is that?
Laura: he doesn’t need one cuz he’s not weak like the superheroes that need silly sidekicks. (Getting very passionate at this point)
silence
Steve: You know, I don’t think this is going to work out between us.
Laura: Yes. I think you’re right.
Steve: (Puts money down on the table and turns to leave, turns back before he exits) Robot’s are still better than Monsters!
(curtain)
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