Lookalikes

LOOKALIKES AND OTHER FUNNIES

Did I really say that?
Man Utd. jokes
It's a funny old game...

Please send your lookalikes to virtualwc@hotmail.com. There is the vague possibility of a prize for the best submission if we are feeling generous!

Hard-tackling Portuguese defender Fernando Couto finds himself fronting popular Larkside band Colonel Bastard.

Arsenal past and present! Is this Freddy Ljungberg or Ian Wright of the Tank Tops?

DID I REALLY SAY THAT?

"People call him a phenomenon, but if he is it's only at shagging prostitutes." Lucia Dominguez, mother-in-law of Ronaldo, talking to journalists about the striker's marriage.

"He's not just a good footballer. He likes being competitive, getting his foot in." Barry Venison on Lee Bowyer the day after he was cleared of involvement in the beating of an Asian student in Leeds.

MAN UTD. JOKES

Did you hear that The Post Office has had to recall the Man Utd stamps they issued?
It appears that people spit on the wrong side of the stamps!

How do you confuse a Man United fan?
Easy, show him a map of Manchester.

They sell anything in the Man United Shop these days; you can now get the traditional Manchester United bras...
"No cups and no real support"

Posh bought Beckham a present for xmas so he phones ferguson and says "Listen boss I can't do this jigsaw that Vicky bought me. It's a picture of a chicken." So fergie tells him to bring it to his house.
The door bell rings and in walks Beckham. Fergie tells him to empty the pieces on the table while he makes the tea. Just as he brings the tea in he looks on the table and says "David, What are you doing??, put the cornflakes back in the box!!"

Three old football fans are in a church, praying for their teams.
The first one asks, "Oh Lord, when will England next win the World Cup?". God Replies, "In the next eight years" "But I'll be dead by then", says the man.
The second one asks, "Oh Lord, when will Chelsea win the Premier League?". The Good Lord answers, "In the next ten years". "But I'll be dead by then", says the man.
The third one asks, "Oh Lord, when will Manchester United win the European Champions League again?". God answers "I'll be dead by then!"

Andy Cole is ill, so Alex Ferguson offers to go shopping for him. While in the local supermarket, he bumps into Gerard Houllier.
"Hello, Alex, what are you doing here?"
"I'm getting a bag of potatoes for Andy Cole."
"Sounds like a fair swap to me!!"

Courtesy of Anti-Manu.com

IT'S A FUNNY OLD GAME...

"Despite little clear evidence that they do much good, African football is still awash with witchdoctors. A fixture between Nairobi YMCA and a local brewery was abandoned when a man wearing a leopard skin left a goat's intestines in one of the goalmouths. Neither side was prepared to play in the presence of such supernatural jiggery-pokery and the match was declared void. The verdict of the Kenyan pools panel is unknown." Alex Murphy-Evening Standard 15/1/02

"Five football fans arrested for throwing sticks of celery during last Saturday's FA Cup semi-final were yesterday bound over to keep the peace. The Chelsea supporters were lobbing pieces of the plant into the air from the stands at Aston villa's ground during the match against Fulham. The incident was said to be part of a bizarre supporters' ritual. the group appeared before Birmingham Magistrates' Court where they pleaded guilty to throwing a missile. Each agreed to a 12-month binding over in the sum of Ł300. The charges were subsequently withdrawn." METRO 18/4/2002.