[11-28-00]  Verily, it is I again.  Indeed Celebrity Guest Update Week could have gone on for much longer, and I do have a great deal unused submissions in my mail box (perhaps to be used in intervals in the near future), but I feel the need to regain my forum.  An update yes, but there are no new articles, no new links...I do have several of each to put up, but this is all you're gettin' for today.  Just a hello, and a reminder that I haven't forgotten about the site, and I do love all of you very much.

I ask for very few things in life, and one is for a decent---nay, a fantastic Spider-Man movie.  We have the technology, Spawn, while not that good in and of itself, showed the world that we have the capability of making a really kick ass Spider-Man movie.  So don't screw it up.

New stuff from everyone, and I mean everyone here at the WOV.  After further brow-beating and bully-ragging from the staffers, it will all go up within a day or so.  Viva!



[11-23-00] by Shelly
Ok, yaay!  It’s about time I got to be on the front page... it’s where I belong. Ok, so most of you may know me as Shelly, the one recently kicked to the curb by the one and only Mike.  (I forgive you Mike, actually I got a laugh out of it)  Well, since my recent single status, I have been thinking a lot about flirting, yes, that’s right, I got over Mike and quickly moved on...to... Christian.  Ahhh.  Sent from God, I’m sure.  So, here is a question I’m sure everyone has asked themselves before, Vocephus himself has even asked himself this before; How can you tell the difference between simple friendly contact, and flirting???  One of many examples I could give you, a hug. The other day, I experienced a hug that truly took my breath away.  Now, the question is, does he hug all his female friends this way, or not?  Who knows?  So I pose this question to all you Vocephinians (thanks Drunken):  How can you tell the difference from someone simply wanting to be just friends, and someone who is flirting???  If you come up with the answer...PLEASE...email me IMEDIATELY.  I would greatly appreciate it.  Ok, so back to the update… check out the rest of the site… it kicks ass… thanks!


[11-22-00] by Mike
Well, well, well.  Looks like my turn to do the front page update, the one and only Mike.  Ok, I know I don't have a cool nickname like everyone else, so how about this; readers of the site send some ideas to Vocephus himself, all of us staffers will do a vote, and the winner will be my new kick ass nick name.   Now on with the show.  You may not know this, but our friend Vocephus has been very ill lately, therefore he can't run the site. He contracted a strange cross mutation of herpes and leprosy, which has spread over his entire body.  If you wish to help our dear friend, send one dollar to:

          Defunk Vocephus Foundation
          539 Ramona Ave.
          Spring Valley, CA 91977

Remember, every penny counts, now on with the madness.

~Hey Kids!  It's Celebrity Guest Update Week (or possibly longer)!  Enjoy!
~~Also, over two-dozen links added to the links page!!  Killer-diller!


[11-21-00] by Drunken Dwarf
Hey Fellow Vocephites!  Wow...that is a new one.  Anyways, Vocephus had a case of writer's block, or just a case of complete lack of enthusiasm, so I am writing the update!  I hope you all approved of my work so far. I wouldn't know since no one writes on the message board.  But I will be back with new material soon.  But until then, explore this vast crazy world we call the mind of Vocephus and enjoy.  Now Vocephinians (where do I come up with this?) I shall be off to drink the night away. Adios!


[11-17-00] Hey you!  Do you have three dollars?  Do you have access to a turn table?  Well, then open your wallet and dust of that old VIctrola, because there's some hot-rockin' vinyl you need to get!  Cruise on over to chokingonprogress.com and find out how you can order their debut 7" record!  Trust me, you'll not be sorry.  And besides, it's three bucks...don't be so damn miserly.  Make a kid's day, and buy one now. (If you really wanna get a copy, and you should, but don't have a record player, contact me and I'll make ya an Extra-Special Tape Cassette Version!  A WOV Exclusive!  Absolutely none of the proceeds will go to Ethiopia.)

Buy animal poop!  It's The Garry Show!.  Public Transportation Adventures!  Maybe slavery wasn't so bad after all!  Explain this site, win a prize!  See what goes on in my town!

And...the only seach engine you'll ever need to use ever again---Click it, yo!

I am currently bidding on this item on E-Bay.  Wish me luck!

[11-14-00] First off, I tip my hat to my good buddy Jixby Phillps for the most excellent shout-out and gratuitous linkage.  And now down to business.  There's a fresh new article from Mike up, and I suggest you read it.  Good ol' Mikey is back in true form.  If that weren't enough, there's also a brand new story from Raphael up and ready to view.  Plus!  A special Election Time article by Drunken Dwarf!  And I am also very pleased to announce a brand new addition to the WOV family.  He is the one and apparently only Caelestis per Demens.  Hark!  The man himself speaks!

Hello all, this is my first entry to the World of Vocephus. Upon arriving I see many a familiar face, and am pleased I have arrived to this place of splendor. What shall I do now that I'm here. Shall I create a piece of literarture so profund that I shall be forever immortalized? Or shall I simply just vomit forth anything that enters my twisted brain, steaming and fresh, then present it forth to this fine forum? Perhaps a fine median, who knows, whatever enters my mind could be sure genius. Or it could  be utter crap. So here is my first entry, if I shall wake in the cold of night to find an angry mob sacking my abode, then i'll have a good idea of how it was recieved ; )
~Caelestis per Demens

In other news, I heard from Mikey again this morning.  I talked to him for quite awhile via Instant Messanger, and here's the latest scoop;  Mike is living it up over in Miluakee, and having lots and lots of sex.  Here was my favorite line from that conversation:

"You're gonna love this: Sara thought she might be pregnant a couple days ago."

Good God.  Well, there's a whole new section of the site,  I can see it now; The Adventures Of Mike Junior: Chapter One - 'The Search For My Father, That Bastard.'  Just when I think it can't get any weirder, it gets weirder.


[11-9-00]  Oh yes, as promised the Halloween Photo Play is now up and ready for your immediate viewing!  And this one's hot off the web as of mere minutes ago!  Word from Mike has come in!  See what the hell that crazy bastard is up to now.  Is it just me, or is all this traveling and sexual escapades making Mike a real asshole (more so)?  Ah, Mike...will you ever find love?  On that note, I have redone the original Adventures Of Mike page, with a intro that will really provide an in depth look at the man, the myth, and the odor.  And so, on behalf of all of my readers, I shake my head in disbelief.

Hey, remember that cerain writing you saw here that really tickled your funny bone (or otherwise)?  Can't find it?  Well, now you can!  Introducing the new Staff Archives page.


[11-8-00] I don't even have to ask him (in fact, I asked him not to) but Raphael just keeps those new stories coming.  Read it.

I haven't heard from Mike for quite some time now.  Sources confirm that he did indeed make it out to Milwaukee alive, but he has yet to make a direct status report to the WOV.  That either means there's a lot of drama going on, or a lot of death...either way, it makes for spectacular ratings.  If you are unfamiliar with the legend of Mike, I suggest you get with it!  Love is no local affair with Mikey.


[11-6-00] It's official!  You can now access the wonderful, wacky, WORLD OF VOCEPHUS at www.vocephus.com!  Oh, how exciting!  But wait, there's more!  Order now, and recieve at MINIMAL EXTRA CHARGE Vomit God's Top Ten Rock-N-Roll Albums of all time!  Act now, and also recieve BRAND NEW DRUNKEN DWARF HAIKU COLLECTION!  (Page layout courtesy of Tha D.D. himself!)

[11-4-00] Exciting things are afoot behind the scenes at the WOV.  I have just registered the domain vocephus.com, where you will soon be viewing the soon-to-be-revamped site!  However, a heated debate has arisen in the midst of the changes;  Should the WOV adapt to a fresh new look?  Perhaps a more contemporary site design?  Or should it keep it's rustic charm, it's blatant simplicity...or does it just blow?  Is the brick background, which has been a trademark of the site since it's conception, a testament to it's heritage, or does it need to go?  It's a tough call.  I wonder what my Faithful Four readers might think...let's have a moderated debate, perhaps on the message board.  Does the WOV move into the future, or should it's elementary design remain a stoic rebellion against modern web publishing?

On that note, there are also a handful of potential new staffers I need to get on the ball post haste.  Got me a couple of graphics men, and hopefully a pair of new contributors.  Hey, soon I'll be able to get someone to ghost write my entries on the front page, too!

Much new stuff promised on the horizon: New Raphael stories, new Drunken Dwarf stuff, new Vomit God list, and hopefully, new updates on the Adventures Of MIke.  Excelsior!


[11-2-00] We're getting closer to #1...  Find out what the next 10 albums on Vomit God's list are!  Also, check out some good clean family fun over at Stick Death.