Obfuscate

Animal Instinct - Case History Pastiche

"The problem with humans," said the White Rabbit, "is that they just don’t understand us animals at all.".

It was the fifth annual general meeting of The United Animal League – the society formed by the White Rabbit himself, Rin-Tin-Tin and King Kong, to try to improve relations between the animal world and homo sapiens. The main item on the agenda was PROGRESS and a general discussion was under way.

"Well from my point of view," said the Mad Hatter (he was an honorary member due to his animal like logic), "they confuse things. Say one thing and mean another. They’re all bananas, everyone one of them. No offense mean’t Kong."

"You mean they tell lies", said Trigger.

"Not exactly lies," retorted King Kong, "more like distortions, you know what I mean?"

"Oh yes," said Rin -Tin -Tin, "I know what you mean. Take this instance of Farmer Brown. Last month. Just after we thought we had finalized that territorial agreement over the forest access rights, he goes off and hires a gamekeeper. Now he claims the man is to ward off campers and picnickers who litter up the place, but we know better. He’s putting the pressure on again!"

Toad looked up from his crossword puzzle and frowned. "Well he’s not doing a very good job, is he?

I haven’t seen this so-called gamekeeper carrying a gun on his rounds. And the birds tell me he can’t run for peanuts. So what’s the point?"

"That is the point, Toadie, "purred Felix the Cat. "Farmer Brown is simply trying to mislead us, don’t you see? No! Well let me explain"

Felix unwound his tail and lowered his spectacles. Once he was satisfied that he had everyone’s attention, then he started.

"Farmer Brown advertises for a gamekeeper, but because he doesn’t want us to suspect anything, he puts out this story of protecting the forest from humans. Consequently, the man chosen for the job can’t be seen carrying a gun, and if he can’t be seen carrying a gun, he was probably never asked if he could use one, so…….."

"…….so you see, " continued Felix, "The poor man cannot possibly do the job he’s been employed to do because Farmer Brown was too clever for his own good."

"you actually mean to say," asked King Kong in an incredulous voice, "that Farmer Brown forgot to check out whether the man could use a gun? That’s crazy!"

"Not quite", responded Toad. "The humans call it obfuscation, its peculiar to them, you see." Toad was very good at crosswords.

Trigger turned to Felix, looking superior as only as cat can. "I asked our friend Lassie to run a check on the man. We got a glowing report back. It seems the man used to work for the Canine Defense Society."

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