I decided to start taking T mainly because I wanted to get rid of my girly voice. It simply didn’t feel like it fit with myself, I wanted something deeper and T was a good way to do such a change.

* November 2004- For personal reasons, I gave myself another dose of Testosterone recently. The changes i notice, if any, i will log in this page preceeded by the month and year noted in.
All entries without a date note were made in August 2004.

• "Little guy" growth
• Voice change
• Facial hair
• Body hair
• Muscle mass
• Fat repositioning
• Mental changes
• Other changes

Clitoral growth

One of the immediate changes after starting taking T was something that several people don’t say: the clitoral growth. And I do mean immediate, the morning after my first shot the little guy was bigger. It continued to grow throughout the first 5 or 6 weeks, but the main growth was within the first week or so. I believe the growth depends on what type of testosterone you’re taking and your genetic predisposition, because I’ve heard of some ftm guys that maintain growth for a few months.

The only thing I’ve got to comment on that is that its very uncomfortable for the first month or so, because the clitoris’ head can and will rub against your underwear, and since its super-sensitive (from being hidden under the hood and then growing out of it) it is really really uncomfortable to have that friction occur. I’ve heard of such similar complaints from guys who were circumcised in their grown up years, because believe me, it’s a real pain in the groin to have your clothes rub against the sensitive skin. The good thing is it gets less and less uncomfortable as time goes by.

* November 2004- As odd as it might sound, this second first dose (a dose after almost a year without using T) seems to have a similar effect as the very first dose did. My little guy has grown a little bit, and its not even a full week since i injected the dose, which leads me to think that it might continue growing a bit more.
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Voice change

Another chance that starts taking place on the first few days is the voice change. Slowly but steadily my voice kept dropping lower and lower, and I could tell the difference by recording weekly voice clips and then playing them together, that way I could hear the slow deepening of my voice. Some weeks I felt like nothing had changed, sometimes I felt the overnight voice drop. The times it happened the fastest were the days following my bi-weekly injection. Of course, after my second or third injection, with my voice going lower and lower, the teenage-boy voice cracks and squeaks started happening. Not being used to such things happening, I’d yell out stuff at school and become very embarrassed when it came out as a high-pitched squeak. Even while only talking, my voice would crack. It was really freaky, and a bit tough, since some of my friends joked about it. I sucked it up and tried my best to ignore my own embarrassment.

The voice cracks became less and less frequent as time passed, but continued throughout my four months on testosterone. They diminished considerably after I stopped taking the hormone, but still happen whenever I try too hard to yell or when i get whiney.
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Facial hair

I've always been somewhat hairy, for a female. Since I was a kid my aunt used to bug me with my mustache. When i went into puberty and my upper lip hair became slightly darker, i started bleaching it. Then, sometime in 2002 i decided to stop. I was fine with my mustache hair. However, when i started T i knew my body and facial hair would change, and the first visible changes were on my upper lip. After about a month or two of starting T, I had to start shaving my upper lip, because the hair on it had darkened a lot, and i looked, well, like a boy in puberty. Ever since then I shave my upper lip every 5 days or so.

As for other facial hair, I have a few dark hairs sprouting on my chin, but theres only about 10 of them. The rest of my hair still has peach fuzz rather than anything else. No sideburns or anything else.
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Body hair

The body hair changes were slow, the first noticeable thing was that my body hair became longer. From there, it started getting darker very very slowly, particularly on my happy trail and around my ankles. Then, ever so slowly, it started getting thicker, starting at my ankles and slowly creeping its way up my calves.

The hair on my arms remains basically unchanged, as the hair on my chest. My Thighs grew a bit more hair, but the most noticeable changes are on my calves going down to my ankles, and on my groin, where the pubic hair spread sideways, slightly onto my thighs, and upwards, towards my belly button. Still, since I only took T for a few months, the changes werent all that drastical.
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Muscle mass

Of course these changes werent overnight. In fact, they were one of the slower changes, appearing only towards the end of the period I took T (the end of the third month and the fourth month). By those dates, I could see my body muscles were different, particularly on my arms, back and calves, I could see the muscles larger under the skin, without working out whatsoever.

The other thing I noticed was that I could lift heavy things with more ease and less effort, and if I've always been somewhat strong, during that time i was taking the hormone I became much stronger.
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Fat repositioning

This particular change is said to take many months to take place, and I'm sure with a long period of testosterone intake the feminine curves (particularly the waist and hips) become less pronunciated and more manly. However, I realized that without losing any weight, my 'feminine' fat distribution began diminishing. To be more exact, I lost some fat from my breasts and venus mound (the flesh in front of the pubic bone), and it was something I hadnt read about anywhere. Obviously, as soon as I stopped taking T, the fat went back to those places.
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Mental changes

Having been both on T and on my regular hormones, I can now honestly said I've lived in the mind of both a male and a female. Most people dont believe me when I say that i actually thought and felt different when i was on T, but its true.

The most noticeable change: guys are less sensitive than girls. I used to think it was because they didnt -want- to be sensitive, but now i know there's more to it than just that. My senior year in High School, I got along roughly with my male friends, with some name-calling and such insults in a joking manner. At the beginning of the schoolyear, I'd start something and I always had to step back a few insults later, because they really got to me, even if i had started the name-calling and I knew we were only joking. When i was on T, i could go on and on insulting without it hurting me in any way, and i couldnt care any less what they said to me, because it was only a joke. Then, off of T again, the insults started getting to me again. That's just one example of many things I lived that made me realize that said insensitivity is deeper than just not caring.

Another thing, still related to sensitivity, I didnt cry during those four months I was on T. Not a single time. I cared so much less about everything, and anything remotely sappy or cheesy seemed so boring. An example: I own the "Sweet November" DVD, and I had watched it a few times both in 2002 and 2003, always crying by the end of it, or at least feeling the sadness of that last scene. I had even recommended it to my friends, and one day, during the period i was taking T, i invited Magz over to my place so that we watched that movie.
I put it on, and we sat down to watch it. Not an hour had gone by, and I was yawning, my mind thinking of a lot of other things because the fucking movie was so fucking boring. I was honestly bored out of my brains, and i didnt even dare turn look at Magz, afraid she was as bored as I was, and ashamed that i had recommended such a boring movie. I sucked it up and watched the rest of the movie, and as that last scene rolled by I could only think how happy I was that it was over. It had been so fucking boring... As the credits rolled by, I decided it was time to face the shame and turn to Magz, almost to apologize for how bad the movie had been. So I turn to look at her, and I couldnt come out of my surprise as I realized her face was covered in tears and she was holding a tissue to blow her nose. As soon as she saw me looking at her, sniffling, she let me know how right I had been at how good the movie was, she said she was very moved by it and that the ending was so sad... And I was still so amazed at the fact that she had found it so marvelous and i had found it so boring.
And to all the skeptics who might think I found it boring because I had watched it several times... False, because a few months ago I watched it again, and again I loved it and cried at the ending... And I was off T that last time i watched it.

Another thing I realized is that I am used to using a wide vocabulary, knowing what words or adjectives I want to put in a sentence, or how I want to describe something. Aside of those fancy words I like to use, I still have a wide vocabulary. Well, while I was on T, I kept forgetting the words i wanted to use, I forgot all of my fancier words and resorted to sentences like "Give me that fucking thing over there", because whenever i forgot a word for something, I would substitute it with a cuss word. So, during the T period, over half the words i said were cuss words, and as soon as I dropped T, words started coming back to me.

I've always been good with math, but males are said to be better. I did improve my math comprehension slightly while I was on T. But other than that, I also realized that both my perception of depth, height and width and my sense of direction increased notoriously. Unfortunately, said perceptions faded away as T faded out of my system.

There were other changes, but these mentioned above were the most notorious and most interesting ones I suffered.
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Other changes

Well, one other important change was the fact that within the first couple of months of taking T, i grew at least an inch, perhaps up to two. I didnt keep close records about that, but i do know i grew taller, and even my friends were asking me what was up with that. I remember waking up to to go school and finding things were slightly at a different angle...

Oh, damn, I remember both the smell and the acne. Both of those changes happened really fast, just a week or two since i started taking testosterone.

The acne didnt get really bad, but I did spring a couple pimples on my face every week, while I normally dont get but one every month or so. I also got some small pimples on my back, where i'd never gotten any before. My face became very oily, and I had to start using an astringent every few days. My scalp became greasier too, so I had to change brands of shampoo, and i still wasnt able to control the grease, and my scalp itched badly throughout the day.

Then there was the change in my smell. My sweat started smelling more, a stronger, thicker smell. I cant quite describe the changes, except it was muskier and more masculine. My crotch started smelling like a guy's, which I found most annoying and disgusting. The change in my body scent was one thing I was glad to get rid off by stopping T, and going back to my usual scent.

Other than that, there's menstruation. My first T injection brought on my period about 10 days earlier, then a little over 4 weeks after that i had my period again, but much shorter than usual. That was the last of it while I was on T. Of course it came back again a few weeks after I stopped taking T... Not much I can do until I'm able to get a hysterectomy. I'll get a hysterectomy because I hate having my period, and because I cant stand the thought of bearing children. Ew.

Another change: my libido. I've always been a very sexual person, but my sex drive increased notoriously during the time i was using testosterone. The best way to reflect this is to tell you some numbers. Off T, I usually masturbate about once a day, twice if I'm horny and some rare times up to three times a day if im very very horny. When I was on T, I had to masturbate at least four times a day, most usually it was between 5 and 7 times (a day...), and that still wasnt enough to satisfy my libido. Which takes me to another topic.

I noticed that my insatisfied sex drive drove me to aggressiveness. The days I was most horny, i felt so frustrated i needed to vent out with violence, being in a bad mood all day, and even having to walk out a room before i sucker-punched someone. In general, it was much easier to get pissed off at someone or something than usual (and im usually easy to piss of, so go figure), and I also took less time to think and try to calm myself down before getting angry. This led to a lot of minor disputes because i said things i didnt mean, simply because i didnt stop to think about what i was saying. Which also explains why its easier to get into fights when you're a guy, lol.

* November 2004- Testosterone seems to bring on spotting independently on what stage of your period you're at. I'd just had my period before the T injection, and it brought on some spotting.
My smell is starting to change again, not even a week after the injection.
My libido is increasing steadily, and without a doubt i'll have to go back to jerking off 4 or 5 times a day to ease the tension. Damn.
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