Assorted Quotes | Bush Quotes | David Brent Quotes | Beer Quotes
| David Brent (Ricky Gervais 1962 -) If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation. |
| If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked. |
| If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried. |
| You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back. |
| If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail. |
| There may be no 'I' in team, but there's a 'ME' if you look hard enough. |
| Process and Procedure are the last hiding place of people without the wit and wisdom to do their job properly. |
| Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. |
| Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do. |
| Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability. |
| Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow. |
| Quitters never win, winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots. |
| If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes - make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast. |
|
Remember the 3 golden rules: 1. It was like that when I got here. 2. I didn't do it. 3. (To your Boss) I like your style. |
| Statistics are like a lamp-post to a drunken man - more for leaning on than illumination. |
| A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone else's? |
| Is your work done? Are all pigs fed, watered and ready to fly?.... |
| Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them. |