Chapter 5: Supposed to Warm

It was a normal and common Wednesday, I’m supposed to be tired but I'm not , I feel full of energy… no, to be honest I knew why I was in such good mood, it was because of yesterday, being with my brother was everything to me. I get ready as fast as I can and with the hurry I almost forgot to eat my breakfast. As a result of my hyperactivity I get too early to school… I was the first one there, no one out no one in… the classrooms were like deserts now. I prepare my books for today; I’ve a lot of time! The time was on my side today so I get a time to read. I give a peek once in a while just to see whose coming. The classroom has now a lot of people, it was amazing to relieve that this place was so peaceful a long time ago because now it was transformed in a battlefield.

But in all this mess I couldn’t see where my brother was. I was beginning to get worried when I saw him come into the class but his face looked tired and breathless, it looked like he had run to get in time… has he oversleep again?

-“You are fine… right?”

-“I woke up a little late today and I loose the train. Dad gave a ride but only to next station”

-“I see. You were late at home yesterday night” – we couldn’t keep talking because the teacher had come into the classroom in that moment. I turn my eyes into her but I couldn’t pay enough attention. My eyes were at my brother’s face and then in his knee – “You'r bleeding!” – Everyone turn to see us now…I think I didn’t speak… I yelled.

-“Are you bleeding Mister Minamoto?” – The teacher asks Kouji who doesn’t know where to hide his face.

-“It’s nothing, I mean it” – but she didn’t belive him, by the other side she got closer to him just to watch the wound – “Ouch!”

-“So it was nothing serious?” – The teacher had pressed the wound without taking off Kouji’s pants but when she gave it a peek she almost yells. Kouji’s pants covers the wound completely but seen it without the pants the wound was something serious. He has a hole in the knee and in the middle of the hole was a tiny pebble – “Kouichi… could you please take your brother to the nurse? That wound needs attention” – She didn't have to ask me that because that was exactly what I was going to do even if she hadn’t given me permission. I stand up and like a jack in the box and help Kouji to stand up too. When I touched him I feel like he was, in some weird way, taking energy from me… I could feel his pain.

We get out of the classroom and walk slowly toward the nurse. He was walking a little funny now because he couldn’t walk with his right leg without making it hurt more.

-“Do you know that you could have gone to the nurse first? How did you make that thing in your knee?” – Kouji stays quiet for a little bit. I didn’t know if he was trying to get a story or the wound was hurting him too much too even speak.

-“I ran out of the train. When I was coming here I fell down and it gave me this wound, I was late because of this too” - We get into the nurse and I sit him in the bed near the doctor’s desk, the doctor wasn’t here by now.

-“Stay here, I’m going to look for the doctor” – I turn myself to left this place but his hand stops me.

-“Don’t leave me alone and don’t get mad with me either”

-“I’m not mad with you, I’m worried. Why didn’t you tell me about this when you arrived? What were you waiting for?” – He let my hand go but he didn’t say a word. I close my eyes and breathed a little trying to calm myself and then I noticed… he was breathing faster than usual – “You have something more, right?” – I hate when he stays like that without saying a word.

-“Don’t be mad. Don’t be mad” – I was beginning to get worried… "Why would I be mad?”

-“If you don’t want me to be mad with you then tell me what is wrong. I know there is something that you are not telling me” – I noticed when he took a little more air to speak… he was taking my energy again… could that be possible?

-“I don’t feel good right now. I came to school because I didn’t want to stay alone at home. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to worry anyone”

-“How do you feel?”

-“It is a little hard to breath right now. My chest hurts especially when I cough.” – He was telling me the truth and it was very serious matter. – “When I ran to get here I fell and that was because I had to stop because I couldn’t breath” - I was mad with him right now, it was stupid, he was stupid and without noticing it, I hit him. We stay in silence and the only noise in the room was his even faster breathing.

-“Stay here I’m going to look for the doctor” – I left him there and ran to find the doctor. I didn’t know where the doctor could be… but maybe the doctor was in the teacher’s room. I knocked the door and a teacher came and opens the door.

-“Yes?”

-“Good morning, is the doctor here? My brother doesn’t feel ok, he is breathing faster than usual” – The teacher goes in to the room and call for the doctor who was there hopefully. Without wasting time we went to the nurse and in the way I tried to tell her what I know.

What she did first was check his breathing. I was standing up in the corner of the room waiting for my brother to be ok. I was more calm now that the doctor was with him but what scares me was the fact that Kouji was not looking at me… maybe I was to hard on him.

-“You are his brother right? Ok, go and call to your house and ask your parents to come and pick up your brother. It would be better if he stays at home” – I would like to stay there with my brother but the doctor send me with a note to the direction to call my dad. The secretary marked the number and,lucky me, he wasn’t to busy in that moment.

-“Kouichi? Is something wrong?”

-“Yes but don’t worry. Kouji is sick but he is at the nurse right now. The Doctor asked if you could come to pick up Kouji because he has to be resting in his bed at home”

-“But what happen to him?”

-“I’m not sure, doctor didn’t told me everything but what Kouji told me was that he couldn’t breath properly… do you know something?”

-“No but I’m on my way!” – dad put down the phone, he sounds as worried as me. I went back to the nurse, Kouji was in the same spot I left him but he has a mask in his face, he looks more calm and stable. He looks better now. I get closer to him and he tries to talk to me but the doctor reminds him to stay quiet.

-“Did you call to your parents?”

-“My dad is in his way. Do you think I could stay with my brother until my father comes here? It won’t be a lot of time” – the doctor agrees and let me stay taking care of my brother only until dad came. Kouji’s breathing was better now. The doctor told him to lay in one of the two beds, he did it and I sit just by his side - “Feeling fine?”

-“Better by now but… my chest still hurts. Kouichi…I’m sorry”

-“Uh?”

-“I didn’t want to worry you, really it was not my intention…”

-“Don’t feel sorry… You really scared me but you are fine now… right? What you have to do now is take care of yourself and if you don’t feel well then say it” – the doctor came again cutting our moment.

-“Kouji Minamoto, your dad is here. Get up and grab your staff” – I help him. I didn’t care that he continues repeating me that he was ok. I carry his backpack and grab him by the arm and the both went to see dad who was coming to the nurse.

-“What happen? Why didn’t you tell me you were sick? We could have been prepared for this situation” – Kouji was sorry and that was exactly what I was trying to say him, apparently Kouji had learn this – “Kouichi are you coming later with the homework for your brother?”

-“I’ll be there just as soon as classes are over. Could you call mom for me and tell her that? I don’t want to worry her” – Dad promised to call her just as soon he arrives home because his batteries were off now. I went with them to the parking lot and help Kouji to get into the car – “See you later” – I give him a kiss in his forehead something that make his blush completely.

The classes were normal for the rest of the day for me. I have to pay extra attention because I have to explain Kouji everything. I take the scripts of the play to memorize them with him because the teacher was anxious he couldn’t get to the play. I knew he was going to be ok for that day… I didn’t want to act… it was something that scares me to death. When classes finish I went to see him; Takuya and the others told me they were going too but later.

When I arrive at the house I noticed that dad had to be here all day with Kouji because he couldn’t leave him alone. It seems that Tomoko has had a hard today too and that’s why she couldn’t be there. When dad saw me he thanks me and run into the car and drives to his work. I didn’t have any problem to be with Kouji and taking care of him.

-“I’m here Kouji! How are you?” – I get into his room and found him in his bed. He looks tired.

-“Hello Kouichi” – I have the need to kiss him. He was with his blue stripe pajamas and a yellow robe. What makes him more provocative than ever were his cheeks that have a shade of pink… they were stand out from his pale skin and his hair… His hair was free of bandanas… he looks so cute! – “Is anything wrong?” - I get closer to him and sit at his side; I stay there looking at him for a while but I couldn’t stay like this forever so I kiss him. His lips were warm and taste like medicine but they welcomed me. I couldn’t leave them but have to because he cut the kiss… he needs to cough.

-“Are you ok Kouji? Do you need something?” – he doesn’t stop coughing so I began to worry again. I run to the kitchen and bring him a glass of water but when I get there he was already better.

-“Don’t worry… it’s a little harsh, I’m better” – I put the glass at his side just in case and sit at his side.

-“But what do you have? The doctor told me you were sick but nothing more. Then she asks me to call dad”

-“Bronchus, nothing more”

-“Ok.. hey! The teacher gives me your part in the play. She scares when she finds out you were sick and now you were at home. She thinks your wound was serious but then the doctor told her everything and the fact that she doesn’t know when you were going to come to school again so she ask me to give you this to learn it when you were here. She is scared about her play” – We began to laugh but Kouji stops suddenly ,again to cough.

-“She is right, I don’t know when I can go back to school. Dad is going to hire a nurse for tomorrow maybe, he can’t stay all week taking care of me all the week, no one can. You have to go to school, mom works, dad works, Tomoko works… no one can stay with me… I’m a burden again!”

-“You are not a burden!”

-“Yes I am! As soon as you get in this house dad run away to his work place and that was because he can´t leave me alone!”

-“I think you are getting conclusions to fast. Dad decide to stay here with you because he really cares and I’m here too because you are everything to me, because I love you. And our friends are also coming because they want to see how are you. You are not a burden, believe me!”

-“Sure? I’m none bothering you?”

-“Of course not” – I gave him a kiss in his forehead and I noticed him a little warm but that should be because he was covered with a lot of things. We began with the homework and tried to learn our lines. I heard him when he tried to tell me what he already had memorized. When he finished then it was my turn. Our friends came at five and stay with us for an hour more and less trying to cheer him up and see if he was better but when they go we were alone again.

There was something I wanted to do since I saw him lying in his bed. I stay at his side and began to comb his hair that was very straight. It was amazing that he could keep his hair this long and so well treated. Without noticing I put my hand at his back and feel his bronchus that sounds like a cat pouring. I saw him relax when I began to make him some massages… now he was lay face down. For moments my hands were going further than I was expected… under his pajama…

Kouji didn’t say a word about this, but if he was quiet then everything was ok. My hands decide to explore a little further. My fingers were racing all over his back until the found the elastic of Kouji’s pant. I stop there. This was not the moment and it was not the situations, after all Kouji was sick and he could get sicker because of me. I get out with my hands of this place and turn him to massage his chest and then I noticed something… he was sleep. His lips were there… red, wet and half open waiting for me to come and kiss them. All the day I fought to stop that impulse but this time was different. I lift him up a little making his hair lifted in the air and then… I kiss him. The surprise for me this time was to found his arms around my neck without trying to resist.

This was not the best day of my live but it was closet o be. We stay like this kissing each other until my dad and Tomoko get home and we were force cut it here. Dad give me a ride to my house but I want to stay with my brother but I was the one who have to go to school and bring the homework tomorrow. This was a wonderful wednesday and it seams that the next days were going to be as wonderful as this day… but I haven’t count on something…

When I came back to Kouji’s house that Thursday after school I was surprised because he was with a nurse at his side. It seems Kouji was right, they hired a nurse to be with him while dad and Tomoko Work. The nurse was a forty year old woman, she looks kina but she was very strict and never let Kouji do anything. She watches him all the day even when he was in the bathroom and that was a little disturbing. But fortunately she only works till five o’clock in the afternoon, past that hour Kouji was all mine. We did homework together when the nurse was with us but when she goes our fun and time together began.

We didn’t do anything wrong but to be truth we were close to do something that Kouji has never left himself do. We begin with the massages that always relaxed him but little by little our hands ask for more. Our clothes were burning our skin so we have to take them off. Kouji doesn’t want to take it off but I convinced him. We just want to know each other a little more but we didn’t try to do something more… I think we need more time to get there.

On Thursday dad drives me again to my home with mom but the next day that I came back it was for me to stay there the weekend. I think that this was the first time I really want to stay at Kouji’s place. Dad has to cover an event at the college and that is going to be all this Saturday and Tomoko… well she has to work too… All these things point to me like something great was going to happen…

Chapter 6: Freezing Touch

Kouichi come to see me all over the week and he doesn’t matter is his house was to far from mine. I really appreciate that because to spend all the day with the nurse and she was making me crazy. My days this week were more than dull in the mornings and in part of the afternoon too, until my brother gets home to make me company. My dad and Tomoko were out of the house every morning to go to work but they couldn’t leave me alone in the house so they got the brilliant idea: to hire a Hatsu. Hatsu was the perfect nurse for the job because she didn’t leave alone, that was good but sometimes I prefer to be alone… like when I need to go to the bathroom for example.

Now, make you feel that you are in company is one thing, to take care of you was other one but to keep you in the bed all the time without moving was totally different. That was what dad like the most I think because in that way he doesn’t feel so guilty to leaving me alone, it was perfect for him. My life with Hatsu as I say before was totally boring and my day with her begins at 7:30 am when she arrives to our home and my parents left her in charge of me and the house. What she does first was going to my room and wakes me up. She sits me in a chair all cover with sweaters to not get a cold, but between us that was impossible because every single window and door of the house was close. Well, meanwhile she fix my bed making my ‘sheets’ breath a little just to return me to the bed. My feet were forbibben to touch the floor so she enjoys carry me and involving me with the bed clothes like a worm. In this way I couldn’t move even an inch, my body was in this kind of prison only release when I have to go to the bathroom. When I walk I feel my body like sleep because it if difficult to move, it feels like I was going to break my bones.

My breakfast was at 8 o’clock and it was a warm fruit juice, I hate warm things, a tea and a toast with jelly or butter. She likes to sit at my side and count how many times I chew my food and she doesn’t let me bite another piece of bread if I didn’t chew at least 32 times. To watch Tv to kill the time was another forbibben thing because it kills my brain, she left me match only for an hour a day, videogames were out of my hands, I only could see them in the top of my stand getting dirt. Getting dirt was only a phrase because in my room couldn’t be dirt, she loves to clean it at every moment.

There was a time for a nap in my daily schedule, that was the only thing I could do it by my own. My nap was about an hour a day, sometimes it was a little bit longer because I didn’t want to wake up. The nap was like a salvation for me because the other things were boring, everything was boring except when Kouichi gets home… that was the only fun for me. She gave me my lunch at twelve but I prefer to eat it with my brother, it doesn’t matter if I was hungry I just want to wait at 3 o’clock. But sometimes it was hard to stop her feeding me, she force me to eat at my hour, in this case I only eat a little part and leave the rest when Kouichi comes home. Kouichi says that this was very childish but I say that I deserved it because being with her without a escape needs a lot of sacrifices. He only laughs about it because he doesn’t believe me that my life as a criminal could be this horrible until the moment I need to g oto the bathroom and he saw she enters with me.

But my day doesn’t ends there. My dad has asked her to supervised my homework, not because he didn’t trust in my brother, it was because he doesn’t trust me. She reads me the books and make me memorized them, that wasn’t too bad, the bad part was heard her with her dull voice everything was extra boring and I usually end sleeping between this time. There was something more that I didn’t like and it was my lazy legs. When I try to stand up and go to the bathroom me legs were sleeping and didn’t want to support my body. They look paler than usual, fluffy and almost strange to my eyes that were trying to recognized them.

Maybe those things were not that bad compare with this one and this one was something that makes me blush constantly. My personal life was completely gone when the ‘sponge bath day’ came. I was not used to the fact that someone baths me since when I was tour when dad finally understood I could take my bath alone in the tub while I play with the bubbles. Now I have to support someone that is no my family baths me… that was out of question! If this means to be sick then I didn’t want to be sick anymore. The sponge bath was everyday and everyday I feels worse.

I never tell this bath thing to Kouichi because he was going to make fun of me. But I continue feeling dirty and it was because of my hair. I convince her to help me to wash it so I could feel better with myself. Washing my hair was something that makes me happy in this hard times for me. With hot water, fruits shampoo… I like to treat well my hair. Something bad was that I have to dry it with the hair dryer but that was the only condition she gives me. In my bed I comb it and fix it, that was my other hobbie and fun... until three o’clock.

But three o’clock was not the end of Hatsu, she stays with me until five. As I say she has to supervise the homework that my brother brings me from nose to toe. She didn’t leave home until she doesn’t see at least half of the homework done and that mean well done homework. We didn’t dare to disobey her while she was with us but when she has to leave Kouichi always went with her to open the door. When I heard the sound of the door closing I immediately jump out of the bed and stretch out a little bit.

Kouichi always laugh about this and say: ‘If you don’t like it then why don’t you tell her?’ and he was right but I just couldn’t say it… and I say it and then I make her feel bad? Kouichi notices this and tries to cheer me up telling me things that had happen at school, things like gossips, that Izumi fell in the ladders and that she uses Tomoki like a couch or jokes that Takuya always make at lunch or that Jumpei has a new maiden that prepares delicious meals. Kouichi also told me that the teacher was waiting for me for the play… she was kind of hysteric… always speaking alone, I really wish to return to classes and see this with my own eyes.

What we used to do together was match Tv, he also comb my hair… that feels so good because it was very soft… for me it was very relaxing. But there was something better than that… it was Kouichi trying to relax me, massages always had the same effect on me, they left me just there… Then comes a time that we get tired of this kind of games that we couldn’t stop our wills to know each others a little better but I always try to stop this kind of situations but I didn’t know why... I couldn’t understand why.

Today for example I feel a little better, it is Friday and this was going to be a good weekend. Kouichi would come this afternoon and he will stay here until Sunday that he will return with mom. Hatsu like always came home at 7:30 am and after a while she came into my room bringing with her my breakfast, and I like always lay here like a warm without moving wait here for her. For what I know tomorrow Hatsu was not coming, the same for the Sunday nut those things make me think a little bit more… I was going to spend all the Saturday alone with Kouichi because he and Tomoko had important things to do. All day alone with him could mean a lot of things but I have already a general idea where this could end. It was not that I was scared about my brother, no, I know that he has a limit too… what I didn’t know was that if I could support that limit…

I didn’t want to drink my tea this morning, I was tired of it… I always get hurt trying to drink it…I was nerves and I have to control myself but I couldn’t take the idea about Kouichi out of my head. I count until ten to relax myself and control once again my brain but my hand drops my juice and then… I have to take the sponge bath earlier than I expected.

Hatsu didn’t get angry like I think she would… maybe she was use to this kina of things. Or maybe she has to accept me because dad was paying her for it so she couldn’t say anything. If I was right then if I told her that I don’t like what she was doing then maybe she was not going to feel bad. I was going to be one more of her patients that complain her. Everything was on my mind now but I didn’t say a word…

-“You are not fine today… you look nervous… Do you want to take your nap?”

-“No, I don’t want to sleep”

-“There are some pills that you could take that could help you sleep… If you are feeling to tired then maybe I could give you one… but only for this time.” – The offer sounds good… maybe I could take one…

-“But if at night I can’t sleep… could I have one?” – She was more serious than before and with a look she tried to read my darkest thought.

-“You are only a kid and you should not get aware to those things. If you can’t sleep at night then is better if you try to get tired yourself read something. Pills are only recommended by doctors and we, the nurses, recommended only in extreme cases. Try to sleep now” – She put the pills away of my sight and tied me with my covers. I couldn’t move now…

I was having an idea… I ask her permission to go to the bathroom so she had to release me form my bed prision. I began to walk to the bathroom and try to finish my plan. With a fast move I drop a frame breaking the glass. Now thousand of pieces were all over the floor; pieces that could hurt my unprotected feet that Hatsu was trying to take care of. Hatsu was so scared that she runs into the first floor to look for the broom to pick up all the pieces meanwhile I was checking Hatsu’s briefcase. She has too many pills in there but only two of them look like the one I had already see. I could heard Hatsu’s footsteps coming closer but I have not decide which one try so I grab the two of them and hide them in my night table. As fast as I could I return to the same spot were she had left me but something goes wrong… I get hurt with one of those tiny pieces. I didn’t notice this at first until I walk a little bit more that was the step that put the piece even farther into my skin.

I get back to bed while Hatsu opens again her briefcase looking for her staff to fix my wound. I was scared, she could figure it out that some of her pills were missing but hopefully she doesn’t even notice it. I was feeling nervous again so I ask her for a glass of water… I wanted to try the pills. Hatsu went for what I ask her and in the mean time I choose one pill and put it in my mouth without her known. It looks like I choose the right one because after a while I began to feel the dullness… my eyes began to close...

******

When I open my eyes again my head was in pain… Hatsu and Kouichi were seated at my side… was it so late?

-“You are finally awake!”

-“I didn’t sleep well last night” – I lie… I was crossing my fingers hoping that she couldn’t suspect but they were more worried about me.

-“You didn’t look well… maybe it is because you haven’t eat”. – Hatsu went to the kitchen to bring me food

-“How long are you here? Are you going to eat with me?”

-“Well.. if you want I can eat an apple with you because I had already eat. I get here around an hour ago” – I didn’t like to eat alone… my stomach stop making noises. When my food arrived I only bite it a little but never finish it… I wanted to throw out – “Are you sure you are feeling fine?”

-“Yeah, sure”

-“Lier. Your face told everything” – Kouichi had figure it out… what a shame!

-“All right… It is not that I feel sick, it is just that when I wake up I usually don’t feel well but this is ok, I’m fine… really” – I tried to forgot everything that could remind me pain. We began doing our homework until Hatsu left the house. When she was gone I felt better, maybe I was feeling like that because I know that I have done something wrong and looking at her reminds me it every time.

When we finished our homework we lay on my bed to match the ceiling. My head still ached but a little lower. I close my eyes and tried to eliminate the pain. I feel like I was in a cloud, for me the time has stopped in that second. I began to count until 10 in my head when I decided t open my eyes again and watch some tv with Kouichi… Our program would be on air anytime soon but when I open my eyes everything was so dark. I tried to find Kouichi with my hands but I was there alone. I tried to focused and listened voices at first floor. I looked at the digital clock and it told me that I was fast sleep or three hours… Now it was 9 o’clock, dad, Tomoko and Kouichi should be eating… my stomach wants to eat too. I tried to ask for someone to come here for me but my throat was dried so I prefer to go there without doing noise…

I put my covers to one side and looked for my sleepers; everything was dark under my bed. My head was spinning… My robe was hanged in the door so I put it on. I walked toward the ladder grabbing everything I could just to find some support, my legs were too lazy. I take my time getting to he first floor but I was scared that maybe I could fell them; one step first and then the other one but finally I get there. I could see the light in the dinner room, I lean in one of the walls so they can see my face. My face at the door has all the attention I wanted…

-“What the hell are you doing here? You should be in your bed! Go there now!” – Dad doesn’t like to see me there so Kouichi ran to help me.

-“I was hungry so I just came here. I’m bored up there, I wanted to walk a little, that’s all”

-“Maybe you should obey us KOuji. You don’t look ok for me… you look tired” – Tomoko was right when she said tired but I was really bored in my room, I wanted to walk and be in the living room for a while.

-“Can I stay here just for a while? As soon as I finished my food could be?” – I tried to put my puppy face to convinced Tomoko, if she said yes then she could convinced dad. Tomoko looked dad… it seams that my plan had worked…

-“All right, but eat fast” – Dad give it up and let me stay. Tomoko gave me warm soup with meat, wooden sticks, yakitori and obento. Dinner was delicious but when I finished it I felt asleep. – “See? You are feeling sick again, right? Return to your room” – I didn’t say anything, I stood up and returned to my room. I made it to the ladders but I couldn’t see right… I sit in one of the steps and began to climb the others just like when I was three. I got into my room crawling like a baby and with enough force I climb my bed… Maybe I shouldn’t have take the whole pill… maybe one half was enough for me… Kouichi came to my room too alter a while.

-“How are you feeling?” – I felt like in a cloud…

-“I’m sleepy… I think I’m getting used to sep all the day… don’t you want to sep with me?” – I noticed Kouichi jump a little, maybe my words were miss understood but I really want to sep with my brother, by his side. After a little while dad was helping Kouichi with the beds, they put them together so we could sleep in there. This was not the first time that we do this but it was always hard to move them, especially when you are alone.

Kouichi puts his pijama and lay at my side as I asked him. The room was light only by the street’s light, it was very rare when it was lit by car’s light. We were looking at my room’s ceiling… we have not do anything more today but it looks like the ceiling had something that was very interesting. Everything was so silent until Kouichi speak.

-“Kouji… rest… tomorrow is going to be better…” – his words were like whispers… I didn’t blame him… I was sleeping too…

****

When I woke up it was already morning, the birds that were singing in my window and woke me up every morning were doing their job. When I noticed Kouichi was still sleeping at my side… that was something strange because he always woke up early, it doesn’t matter if it was Saturday or Sunday. I looked it again and I found that our hands were interlaced just as our legs, I was getting warmer with this situation but luckily no one had see us. I released Kouichi’s arm and leg and tried to sit. I put my legs on the covers and tried to play a little with them. It would be better a little of exercise for them.

-“It’s fun to look at you playing like this… when did you stop doing it? Since you use diapers?”

-“Don’t laugh! You will do it too if your legs were lay here with nothing to do all the day!” – Kouichi couldn’t stop laughing.

-“Well… I think you look better now than yesterday… and that’s good!” – We stared to laugh again until we heard Tomoko’s voice calling Kouichi to have breakfast.

-“Ask them if I could go downstairs to eat with you… tell them that I’m feeling fine and that I’m bored here and if you can’t convince them then ask then to come here please… or make your puppy eyes… that always Works!” – Kouichi went out of my room with my words in his mind. Convince Tomoko was easy, dad has gone earlier today and in a while she was going to go too.

This time breakfast was not dull like the other days. Tomoko had prepared some hot dogs, there was milk and coffee too and so the orange juice… everything looks good.

-“I’m sorry Kouji but Hatsu say that you couldn’t drink the milk today and the orange juice too because it is too cold for you… or you want me to warm it?” – my spirit was dead… Hatsu had kill my spirit and ruin my breakfast.

-“All right… then give me tea then and no juice please” – At least I could have the hot dog. I really wanted to eat what Kouichi was eating but I couldn’t. I get angry when Tomoko told me that I couldn’t eat the hot dog too because it was greasy, instead she gave me a toast, a slice of cheese and jam; I like it too but I really want to eat the hot dog…

Alter breakfast I have to return to my bedroom as I promised. I look like a lion caged, I didn’t want to be in bed so I began to walk around my room. By the window I could see how Tomoko’s car disappeared by the street. Kouichi came into my room after a while…

-“Humm I don’t know if I should do this but… let’s have this as a secret…” – his back was hidding a piece of bread… and that smell was…

-“Hot dog?!” – he gives me the hot dog… it’s been a while since I didn’t eat that… it was delicious. When I finished my bad humor was gone completely. Kouichi and I went to the bathroom to brush our teeth together.

-“Ok… When do you want to take your bath?” – Did I heard it clearly? – “Tomoko left me a list, Hatsu’s list, it says that I have to help you with your bath… ‘Spongebath’.What’s that?” – I turn red..

-“It is a normal bath but using the sponge… that’s it” – I didn’t tell him the part that I shouldn’t touch the water but today I have to wash my hair so it doesn’t matter.

-“So you are going to take your bath now or later?” – I was thinking – “Better now because I have to use the hair dryer and it is better soon than never” – Kouichi gets out to find the towels. I began to fill the bathtub with hot water … I poured the bubbles and everything I couldn’t use when Hatsu was here. When Kouichi came back he had bring a lot of towels. I take out my clothes with shame to get into the hot water but then I noticed that I was not the only one doing this.

-“You… you are going… to take a bath with me?”

-“Yes, why not?” – For me it was as strange as Hatsu’s presence in the bathroom with me but if I had accepted that then this was allowed too. We fit perfectly in the bathtub. Kouichi began to wash my back… it feels so good… I also help him with his back… this was so normal and it was fun too. What it took more time was washing my hair but it was something I have to do.

When we finish he puts me a lot of towels and the he cover himself before opening the door. He carried me into our bedroom because he doesn’t want to wet the floor… I feel like a baby. He sits me in the bed and turn on the hair dryer. It feels nice when he passes the comb while the dryer was working… it relaxes me a lot until the telephone rang and Kouichi had to go to answered it. I stay there at my bed and continue with the job, drying and combing once in a while. I looked at the mirror… mi face looks thinner than before… was it because I stop eating junk food? I was so concentrated in my reflex that I didn’t noticed when Kouichi came in and scared me making me jump. Both of us fell of the bed, me at the bottom, he at the top… I couldn’t stop the redness in my face. Kouichi was as red as me but he at least reacted and stands up as fast as he could just to help me. I feel like a power that pushes me to him… it was a powerful force… I couldn’t do anything more than hug him.

My hug was answered by a kiss in my forehead that little by littler was going down into my lips. My towel fell and another force pulls me into the bed. I stay there looking my brother waiting for something to happen… anything… I close my eyes and with my arms I pull hi to me. I gave him a kiss and talk to him with the eyes… he was nervous and as lost as I was…

-“Do you have any idea?”

-“I have some ideas but I don’t know…” – Kouichi looks truthfull but if he had an idea then…

-“We could try… right?”

-“Well…” - began with the same… playing a little with me biting my neck without letting marks because that could be dangerous… his hands were everywhere, the same with my own hands. I already know that his weak point was his eras and he knows mine was the neck. Our bodies were stick together and in this way we wanted to do something more… but we didn’t know what…

Kouichi in other hand seems to know what to do because I couldn’t stop moaning… he was very careful with me. I try to reattribute this in a way but he was better than me. We began this very slowly because we were putting a little bit of intensity at any second. His hands began to go down my back just where my line disappeared, mine goes a little farther but they were at the front part…

Kouichi suddenly froze. This time he was at the bottom while I was trying to make him suffer a little bit. I sit in his legs. I put my arms and legs at his sides while I give him a quick look while my hair takes a ride in his skin trying to make him tickles. I kiss him until I want to bite at his chest but nothing to hard. When I have him ‘there’ where I want I began to go farther… at the bottom, he was excited. My hands began to touch his parts… and then something came to my mind… my lips suggest me something like a massage. My mouth tries to imitate my hands and it looks like it was perfect… I pass my tongue everywhere until he asks me for more. I took his pennies in my mouth and began to suck it. I don’t know how to explain this but it has a strange taste like a sour one…

I didn’t have any idea about how much time I spend doing this but I didn’t regret. I was sweating a lot, more than when Hatsu brings me hot drinks, but the true was that I was tired so I lay at the top and we stay like this for a while, looking each other until Kouichi with a sudden move turn our position getting him at the top. He began to lick my face, just like cats do when they wash their faces. I try to be at the top but Kouichi have the control of everything now.

When we finished our game I stay at the bottom while he continues biting my neck. The he gets up and left me there… I didn’t know if he was already bored about me or if he was tired but it seems like he was thinking in something while he walks around our bedroom…

-“Is something wrong Kouichi?”

-“No, nothing is wrong!” – that was a lie!

-“Then… what happen? What are you thinking?”

-“Nothing it’s just…” – I look at him like waiting for him to tell me something – “I know something that we could do but better if not… yes, better not”

-“But we could try!”

-“But it is going to hurt you a lot… I don’t want…”

-“Do it… It couldn’t hurt if it is you but if it hurts then I could handle it!”

-“That’s what I don’t want… I don’t want you to stay quite. If I hurt you please tell me for I could try doing it softer… please? Promised me that you are going to tell me if I hurt you” – I promised him but I couldn’t stop of being afraid for the constant things he told me – “I know this is going to hurt you because I read it in a website”

I didn’t care what the damm website say, what I care about was his worry for me and by the other side I was curious and scared at the same time. The first thing he told me to do was get relax but that was kind difficult specially when I was beginning to feel his fingers getting down little by little like playing around my spine. To prepare me he introduces his fingers inside me one by one. Those fingers hurt a little because they get in with some clumsy and force but that pain was not much. His fingers move with certain rhythm inside me, I was beginning to get use to them when they suddenly get out. One more time Kouichi makes advice me about being relax so in that way It wouldn’t hurt a lot but in my case when someone told me not to do something I usually end doing it so I couldn’t relax.

The pain was beyond my limit and I was feeling like he was breaking me, I wanted to yell but I drown my voice in the pillow. For a minute I thought I have past out but I still awake moaning in low voice that were a mix of pain and pleasure. I think I could handle the situation as best as I could because I didn’t show Kouichi my pain until he began to move a little bit master and harder. I yell a little bit and without the Hill I did exactly what I didn’t want and that was fright my brother who stops at the same second.

-“No! Please… continue!”

He agree fast but this time he was a little scared getting in and I think that he hurts me a little more than the first time. I bite my lips to stop moaning and try not to yell. The pain was terrible but the pleasure was huge. Kouichi takes a little more time inside me but after that we were more relax. We have now proved and the experience was as good as we imagine but it also was a little exhausted. The bad thing was that we were sweating so we have to take a bath again only that this time I wasn’t feeling shame, instead my body ask me to be all the time at his side. Other bad thing was the fact that Kouichi had to help me clean my room and wash my bedclothes.

I try to walk as normal as I could because I didn’t want to make him feel bad, but I also have to walk normally just for nobody to noticed this. My pain was just for a while, more and less for two days but the intensity was becoming very low. Kouichi in other part was worried about my pain and tries to make everything for me just in compensation about that… Reflexing in the night looking the ceiling of my bedroom I realized that the pain and all those thing were just part of the experience but after all I really like it… it was really good… now I just only ask myself when could we repeat this again?

At night we lay together in our bed. No one knows about what we have done and they couldn’t figure it out. In the dark of the night we play again. We were know that we couldn’t make any noise because my parents were next door but I couldn’t stop touching him and stop him touching me… this was like a drug…

TBC

Cap 1 y 2 // Cap 3 y 4

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