Why is everything so difficult for me? Why do I have to whine so much?

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I am feeling very sorry for myself this morning. I seem to be having to fight the "beast" (this editing program) more and more. I don't understand why I can't even create simple subdirectory without having to have a crisis.

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I am pleased though, about the pages. I think if I can ever get the writing code 'automatic' I will be OK! It is still frustrating to have this idea in mind, or be in the mood to really write and then to find out that everything I have done is lost somewhere in cyberland. I don't know why I fight with this so much. I guess I just love a challenge. In fact, in truth, I do tend to get a little bored with things once I know how to do them. But my writing has always been an exception to this. I never tire of it. Maybe that is what frustrates me so much right now about these pages. I want to enjoy the challenge of the editing, but also want to enjoy the flow of words, and really, they are kind of mutually exclusive, at least at this early stage!

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We are once again in full-swing here at work. I love it. Love the noise the bustle, the phones ringing, and the people coming in. What I don't like is going home and collapsing in an exhausted heap, which is exactly what I did last night. I was so disappointed with myself. I have all these things I have to do and want to do when I get home at night. But. Not me. Too tired. Considering what happened to me this weekend after pushing it a little too much I just resigned myself last night to sit and read the evening away. Not a complete waste, however. I am reading another wonderful book written by a woman when she was in her middle/winter years. I really am enjoying it. It is called "Journal of a Solitude". I think I learned about it from one of the other on-line journalists, but wherever I found this author, I am entranced and look forward to reading more of her works.

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I can not believe that it is almost September already. Before we know it it will be the holidays. I love the Fall. I love Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am afraid I am one of 'those' folks that put up their tree immediately after Thanksgiving. I love the season, and now, as I grow older, I want to enjoy as much of it as I can while I can. The soft tree lights have always reminded me of candlelight and I dearly love sitting in my living room watching them twinkle. It is a time when there is no real danger or worry, a magical time of sights and smells. Ahhh, bring it on! I am tired of the summer's heat and ready for the changing season!

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