Plot: This story is a "what if?", in this case, "What if 'Will & Grace' was set in the 1940s in a murder myster?" . So all the characters are still the same personality wise, but now they have different jobs, don't know each other as well, etc. Will is a detective who is hired by Grace to solve a case. The cast is listed below and what character they're playing.
Disclaimer: We do not own "Will & Grace" or any of the characters, except for the character of the cab driver, which NBC is more than free to use. Please don't sue us!
SCENE II:
(WILL AND GRACE ARE SITTING IN A TAXI CAB, GRACE CLUTCHING AT HER TISSUE AND WILL GAZING INTO THE HEAD VIEW MIRROR FIXING HIS HAIR. THE TAXI CAB IS DRIVEN BY A SHORT ITALIAN MAN.)
WILL {VOICE-OVER}: "So, there we were. My hair was flawless. The taxi guy was hot. I felt this was the beginning of a beautiful relationship."
(GRACE LOUDLY BLOWS HER NOSE WITH A TISSUE)
WILL (VOICE-OVER): (sighs) "If only red would keep it down."
GRACE: "Oh Det. Truman, I'm just so happy you've decided to help me with this case, but just remember, some people at The Boys' Club can be very harsh and might not take to you. You're not as pretty as me."
WILL (VOICE-OVER): "Like hell I wasn't."
(GRACE LOOKS AROUND TO SEE WHERE THE VOICE IS COMING FROM)
WILL: "Oh, of course you are. But they'll love me when they see I'm next to someone with fashion sense like yours."
GRACE: "Aww, thanks!"
WILL (VOICE-OVER): (coughs) "Sucker."
(GRACE BLOWS HER NOSE ONCE MORE WITH THE TISSUE AND SLOPPILY STUFFS IT DOWN THE FRONT OF HER CLEAVAGE)
WILL (VOICE-OVER): "It had already been quite a tough day for me. I had woken up that morning, put on a shirt and a button fell off. I had picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm still afraid to go to the bathroom. But the fact of the matter was, that I was on my first case, and things were only going to get better."
GRACE: "Taxi driver sir, could you go a little faster?"
TAXI DRIVER: "No."
GRACE: "Sir- it's very important-"
TAXI DRIVER: "No it isn't"
GRACE: "I just-"
TAXI DRIVER: "No you didn't."
GRACE: "Listen you can of beans, if you were my husband I would poison your drink."
TAXI DRIVER: "Listen you carrot, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
WILL (VOICE-OVER): "And that's when I knew he was the one..."
GRACE: "Don't you get smart with me, you taxi driver."
TAXI DRIVER: "Am I getting smart with you? How would you know? And that's Mr. Taxi Driver to you Ms. Carrots."
GRACE: "Det. Truman do something about this creep!"
TAXI DRIVER: "Why won't you slip into something more comfortable and fashionable... like a coma!"
WILL (VOICE-OVER): "The one I was going to spend the rest of my life with."
(THE TAXI DRIVER STICKS HIS HEAD OUT AND THE WINDOW)
TAXI DRIVER: "Hey!! Little kid, yeah you, get up off the road, you're holding up traffic!" (TURNS BACK TO WILL AND GRACE AND LIGHTS A CIGARETTE) "There's only so much you can take in this city."
WILL: "Mr. Taxi Driver, I would be honoured if you were my date at The Boys' Club."
GRACE: "Will!"
TAXI DRIVER: "Sure thing Sherlock, just let me get through the traffic, do not worry, I am a professional."
(TAXI DRIVER STICKS HIS HEAD BACK OUT THE WINDOW)
TAXI DRIVER: "Move it you goofy lorry load of cute parrot droppings! Get out of my way you uncultivated cake of noxious dirty underwear! You dumb excuse for moth-eaten hair!" (TURNS BACK TO WILL AND GRACE) "These people make me sick."
WILL (VOICE-OVER): (singing) "You spin me right round, baby right round, like a record baby, right round, round, round."
(GRACE TAKES THE TISSUE OUT OF HER CLEAVAGE AND BLOWS HER NOSE LOUDLY, WILL IS STILL SINGING AND THE TAXI DRIVER CONTINUES TO CALL OUT NAMES TO PEOPLE) TAXI DRIVER: "You obese collection of ancient rectal hair, pompous swamp of moldy sweaty jockstraps, dirty toilet-full of cheesy toad tumors, brutish mountain of imitation chicken waste, useless bucket of fermenting frog fat!"
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