JOKES Page 2



  • Page 1 of Jokes

  • Proof that Americans Don't know Geography

  • A Couple In Heaven

  • Site Index
    |Sign Guest book| | Read Guest book|
    |Joke Index| |Political Humor| |Maine Humor|
    |Southern Humor| |Parenting Humor| |What Men Need to Know About Women| |Political Links| |Friends| |Personal/Family| |HTML/WEB help| |The Underworld| |FUN STUFF| Home: http://www.oocities.org/sera_nade

    Back to the Top


    whisperzz.geo@oocities.com

    Free Web Page Hosting by: Get Your Own Web Page!!!

    Proof that Americans Do Not Know Geography



    The following are actual stories told by travel agents about their actual experiences (and you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography):

    A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

    I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me: "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response: Click.

    A secretary called in looking for a hotel in Los Angeles. She gave me various names off a list, none of which I could find. I finally had her fax me the list. To my surprise, it was a list of hotels in New Orleans, Louisiana, which has the postal zip code LA. She thought the LA stood for Los Angeles and that New Orleans was a suburb of L.A. Worst of all, when I called her back, she wasn't even embarrassed.

    A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

    I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

    Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a one hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

    A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 AM and got into Chicago at 8:33 AM. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast and she bought that!

    A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?"
    I said, "No, why do you ask?"
    She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT and I'm overweight. Is there any connection?"
    After putting her on hold for a minute, while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing), I came back and explained that the city code for Fresno is FAT and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

    I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them."

    A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

    A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and, sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this, he said, "Look, I've been to China 4 times and every time they have accepted my American Express.


    Back To The Top





    A Couple In Heaven
    On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. They are sitting outside heaven's gate waiting on St. Peter to do the paperwork so they can enter.

    While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up, and they ask him.

    St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.

    The couple sit for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work out?" they wonder. "Are we stuck together forever?"

    St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "You can get married in Heaven."

    "Great," says the couple. "But what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in heaven?"

    St. Peter, red faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground.

    "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple.

    "Geez!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer?"

    Back to the Top