The following vidcom programme was compiled with the assistance of Undepoldus, the Spacers League, London University, and the Regent's Park Animal Sanctuary. The programme transmission time is 15 minutes and the estimated viewing time is 11 hours. Your video recording systems will be set to record automatically. This is a public service broadcast sponsored by The Undepoldus Company. There will be no charge for this transmission. The programme copyright is held by the Undepoldus Company trustees but it may be used by educational institutions and historical researchers without seeking prior permission. The owners of copyright material within this programme - including performances, images, music and text - have transferred their rights to the Undeppoldus Company for exclusive use within this programme. Their rights are otherwise as governed by legal statutes.

Viewers will be prompted to call another vidcom programme "Sharing With Friends" when episodes from that programme fit chronologically with this one.

Transmission begins in 15 seconds.

PAUSE
This section covers the occurrences when George McFigg was in Germany.
Viewers familiar with this subject may pass on to the next section.
Please select PASS or CONTINUE.

Accusation
George was editing his notes when the door chime sounded. He was not expecting visitors so he guessed that it might be a door to door salesman who had been let into the building by one of the other residents.

As he opened the door he was confronted by two people in police uniform, a man and a woman.
"Herr George McFigg?" The policeman asked.
"Ja, dass bin ich. Verzeihung, ich sprache nur ein bischen Deutsch. Können sie auf English sprechen? George answered.
(Yes, that is me. I'm sorry but I can only speak a little German. Can you speak in English?)
The policewoman spoke. "Mr. McFigg, you are charged with the crime of rape and a further charge of sexual misconduct with Fraulein Heidi Asbach. You are advised that anything you say may be used as evidence in a federal court of law. Have you anything to say in answer to these charges?"
George was flabbergasted. He was silent for a moment as his mind raced. There had been a lecture about this situation. Olivia Tonda had said: 'If this should happen to you, you must say the following words.'
George said. "I am a Spacer. I could claim diplomatic immunity to this charge but I have no reason to do so because I have committed no such crimes in any non-Spacer jurisdiction."
The policeman said. "Herr McFigg, these charges against you are very serious. We know of the high standards set by the Spacer's League but as you do not claim diplomatic immunity we must treat you as an ordinary German citizen. Is that clear?"
George said. "Of course. I am happy to receive the rights an privileges of a German citizen in this matter. Before you continue I must advise you that this apartment has a continuous audio-visual link to Spacer Headquarters. Everything is recorded. With your permission I will activate the emergency signal. This will serve as a call to my lawyer."
The policewoman replied. "We are aware that the Spacers League maintains a continuous watch on all its members in their residences. You have permission draw the League's immediate attention to your situation. We have no wish to cause a diplomatic incident."
George said. "Gee Mac 207. Code 21. Immediate. Previous five minutes."
He continued. "Is there anything that you want me to do now?"
The policeman said. You are required to accompany us to the police station. You will be formally arrested and charged. Bail will not be granted because of your status as an alien. Please make arrangements to leave this apartment for a few days."
George said. "I would like to bring my research notes with me. I am required to submit a paper on my work fairly soon."
The policewoman asked. "What is your paper about Mr McFigg?"
"Communicating with an alien species - particularly cows. I am an exobiologist"
"I do not expect that there will be any objection to that Mr. McFigg. Your recorder will have to be examined first."
The external door signal sounded.
The policeman said. Please answer that Mr. McFigg."
"McFigg. Who is calling?
A rather breathless voice said. "Rechtsanwalt Peter Meissner. I have been called to defend you by the Spacers League."
George said. "You are expected, come in."
Then he pressed the door release button. The sound of the lift starting was heard shortly afterwards.
The policewoman said. "I have heard that the Spacers League worked fast but finding a lawyer for you in less than three minutes must be some sort of record."
George said. "He is more or less on time. Any lawyer offered a Spacer case will drop everything to arrive as quickly as possible. The Spacers League pays them very well for the service."
Peter Meissner arrived. His recorder was replaying the conversation between the police constables and George as he stepped out of the lift. He spoke briefly to the constables in German and turned to George.
"Mr. McFigg, I am at your service. Spacer security will arrive shortly to take care of your apartment. In view of the fact that you are required to present your paper at the Royal Institution in London next week, my colleagues have requested an emergency hearing of your case. May I remind you to wear your toupee as you leave the building. The news services are already gathering outside."
George said. "Thank you Herr Rechtsanwalt. Have no worries about the news people. I am sure that one of the cameramen will be a Spacer."
Herr Meissner answered. "Mr. McFigg, I know that you are trying to be polite but please just call me Herr Meissner."
The lift returned and two Spacers emerged. The taller one said. "Hello George, I am Barbara Falkner and this is Mun Song Won. We will look after things for you while you are away. Code 65."
"Thank you girls. Code 65 acknowledged.
The police constables looked at each other for inspiration. They knew that the Spacers League was a very small and efficient organisation yet they were astounded at the speed at which they had taken over the initiative. Here was a man charged with a very serious crime who - after the initial shock - was almost treating it as if he had been asked to run an errand.
The policewoman asked. "Mr. McFigg, what does code 65 mean?"
George said. "I am only at liberty to tell you if you can assure me that it will not be recorded or used in evidence."
Both constables showed George that they had switched their recorders off.
"Code 65 means that everything will be done to prove one's innocence or guilt. You have seen some of what can be done during the last few minutes. I am not the first male Spacer to be accused of a sexual offence against a non-Spacer. You may switch your recorders on again now."
George turned to Herr Meissner. "Thank you for coming so promptly. You will not need to hurry to the police station. I will see you there." The lawyer returned to the lift and departed.
Barbara had found George's toupee and began to put it on his head. Mun Song Win watched as Barbara adjusted it so that it looked as natural as real hair. The police constables looked on in amazement. Barbara could have been a personal hairdresser or George's wife but they had seen that the two had just met each other for the first time.
George said. "Thank you Barbara, Mun Song Won. Gee Mac 207 departing."
To the constables he said. "Lets go and get this thing over with."

As the three emerged from the building they were faced by a small group of reporters and cameramen. George smiled and made sure that all of them had a clear full face view of himself before getting into the police floater.

During the journey to the police station George did his best to bore the constables with his paper about cows and how it related to making first contact with extra terrestrials.
At the police station George was led into an interrogation room with Peter Meissner. A plain clothes policeman introduced himself.
"I am detective Heikamp Mr. McFigg. I wish to take a statement from you concerning the charges that you face. This interview is being recorded and may be used in court. Have you anything to say about the charges against you."
"No."
"You realise that if the charges against you are found to be true in court that you could face a sentence of ten years or more imprisonment."
"Yes."
"Where were you on the 22nd February at 17:00 hours?"
"In a field with some cows."
"Can you prove that you were there?"
"No. I have only my log about the events at the time but I know that it cannot be accepted as proof of where I was.
"What were you doing with the cows?"
"Attempting to communicate with them."
"Mr. McFigg, I have heard some silly stories in my time but that one must be one of the silliest."
"Mr. Heikamp, I am an exobiologist. I have been trained to establish communication with any extra terrestrials that the Spacers League might encounter. I have developed a technique that extends the idea to non humans on Earth. If you read my paper you would understand that I have had some success with my techniques. There is a small herd of cows near here that treats me like one of them. They like me and have protected me from a bull on one occasion. If you would come with me to the field where they live, I could show you how well I can get along with them."
Herr Meissner intervened. He spoke in German to the detective. Here is a translation:
'My client has the addressed the Royal Society in London on three previous occasions. He is a leader in his field of exobiology. He currently holds the rank of lieutenant in the Spacers League. If he was a non-Spacer he would have the title Professor.'
The detective looked a little subdued by this information.
"Professor McFigg." he began.
George interrupted him. "As a Spacer sir, I am just plain Mr. McFigg. to non-Spacers. Although most of us are well educated, no Spacers use academic titles."
"I'm sorry Mr. McFigg, I was trying to be polite. Is there anything else that you can tell me that will help to prove that you were in a field of cows at 17:00 on 22nd February?
"No."
"Then I have to inform you that you will be remanded in custody until the hearing. Have you any further comment to make?"
"No."

Two days later Herr Meissner came to see George in his cell.
He said. "Mr. McFigg, the situation looks very serious. Fraulein Asbach's lawyer is happy to attend the court tomorrow with her client. Your Spacers League must have pulled a few strings to get your case heard this quickly. Is there anything that you can tell me that will help in your defence?"
"There is very little that I can offer but I suggest that you arrange to have a copy of my Spacer medical record available. It contains a total description of my physical features. If Miss Asbach claims that she saw what I look like nude, she may not describe me correctly. Spacers generally try to look like non-Spacers when on Earth to avoid undesired attention from non-Spacers. If Miss Asbach describes me as being like an ordinary man, you will be able to prove that it was not me that committed offences against her."
Herr Meissner looked troubled. Mr. McFigg, that is not a very reliable defence. Suppose that she describes you correctly."
"Please study my medical record. It is complete in every little detail. It includes many things that you will not find in a non-Spacer medical record. I am sure that it will surprise you."
"Mr. McFigg, I beg of you to think of something else that will help your case. I don't think that you have read what is in the papers or that you have seen what was on the vidcom last night."
"You are right. I do not know what is in the newspapers or what the vidcom newscasters have reported but I can guess. There are probably a lot of demonstrations against Spacers all round the world. It has happened before. Mostly the demonstrations are organised by the so-called 'Purity League'. They claim that all Spacers are sexual perverts. Most of their protests are against male Spacers. They seem to forget that there are at least two female Spacers to every male Spacer so that no male Spacer ever has any wish to consort with non-Spacer females. For us the term Spacer usually means a female Spacer because women are very much in the majority in the Spacers League."
"I know that this is a very personal question but how do you manage your personal lives in Space?"
"It is very simple Herr Meissner. Before the Spacers League was established there were a lot of unexplained deaths in space. In legal terms these were nearly all unsolved crimes. It was found that women were much more suited to working in space than most men. As a result men were often outnumbered in ship's crews. Fights broke out between the women who wanted to have their own male partners. Something had to be done to resolve the problem. Eventually the partner and share system was developed.
If a male and female Spacer combination was particularly harmonious, the male Spacer would invite the female Spacer to become his partner. Then the female Spacer would choose one of her friends to share her partner from time to time - usually under supervision. You must remember that there is virtually no privacy in a spaceship anyway. If an unattached Spacer wishes to consort with a male Spacer, she must always ask his partner for a share of his company. Male Spacers are trained to be able to cope with this arrangement. Unaccountable deaths in space are now very rare. However, the Purity League spreads the propaganda that all male Spacers are superhuman sexual athletes who will rape any non-Spacer woman at the drop of a hat."
Mr. McFigg, you are not in space now and you live alone in your apartment. If you are so used to having female companionship as you call it, what arrangements do you make?"
"Herr Meissner, around twenty Spacers are currently staying in here in Köln. Usually I get one or two Spacer visitors every night. The word gets around very quickly when an unattached male Spacer comes into town. The girls usually get together to arrange that no male Spacer is left alone or overloaded. The girls will have a record of who visited me on the 21st and 22nd of February and what we did. It is standard procedure."
"May I ask how many times you have intercourse?"
"If there is one girl, usually twice or three times during a night and morning. If there are two girls it would probaby be once each in the evening and the same again in the morning."
"Do you ever have intercourse more often than that?"
Sometimes. If there are three together, and they are gentle with me and take active roles I can manage three at night and three in the morning. I must admit that trying to satisfy three girls in a short space of time is rather tiring."
"You must have a tremendous sexual drive."
"No, not particularly. I can only manage what I do with a great deal of help from the girls. They have a lot of expertise in maintaining a man's staying power. I would probably be thought of as virtually impotent by a non-Spacer woman."
"Thank you for being so frank with me Mr. McFigg. Would it be possible to call any of the female Spacers who have visited your apartment as witnesses?"
"Certainly. I am sure that they will all be in court tomorrow and they will bring their records with them."
"Thank you Mr. McFigg. I will study your medical records this evening."

The following day George left the prison disguised as a policeman to avoid the crowd of protesters. The peaked cap, glasses and a stage beard made him unrecognisable to anyone who did not know him well. He changed to his usual civilian dress in the courthouse and took his place in the dock out of the view of many of the protesters. He was greeted quietly by Herr Meissner who looked at him with the air of someone in the presence of a famous celebrity.
He said. "Mr. McFigg, I now understand why you were so confident that Fraulein Asbach will not be able to describe you correctly. I was unaware that male Spacers had to undergo such treatment. You said that the records were very detailed but I never guessed that such details about a person would be included."
A tall, smartly-dressed fair-haired woman came and sat next to Herr Meissner. She said "Mr. McFigg, I am Waltrald Bressel. I am here to act as your translator. Herr Meissner will tell you what to do. I will just translate whatever is addressed to you or directly concerns you. Herr Meissner has told me that I may have to translate medical details for the magistrate. I hope that I have an adequate vocabulary for the terms needed."
"Frau Bressel, I will ask Herr Meissner to let you have a look at his copy of my medical records. I will direct you to the relevant parts. Then you will have a chance to think of the terms that you will need."
Thank you Mr. McFigg."
As George showed her the relevant sections she blushed at the images and the details. After a minute or two she asked. "What is meant by relative turgidity?"
George answered. "It is the firmness in relation to the maximum attained in a series of trials."
"How it it tested?"
"It is usually done by a medically qualified Spacer who has a turgometer fitted."
"How many trials did you have?"
"I can't remember precisely. It must have been around 50."
"Was it with the same Spacer every time?"
"Oh no, of course not. The first ten trials were with different Spacers to see who could produce the best results. Then the best five took it in turns to try to improve their results. Most of them did."
"What do the tattoos mean?"
"Those are the Spacer codes of the Spacers who did the trials. The tattoos certify that the results were OK."
Frau Bressel said "I have seen enough Mr. McFigg." as she gave George the folder.
Herr Meissner said. "The examining magistrate will come in soon. We all stand until she sits down."
The magistrate entered. She was grey-haired and looked rather frail but walked in a spritely manner. Immediately after taking her seat she stood up and addressed the court. Frau Bressel translated
'I am Berta Lorenz, the examining magistrate in the case of the state versus McFigg.'
This is an emergency session to decide if this case needs to be tried in a higher court. As the defendant is not a German speaker I will sometimes address him in English. If either of the lawyers for the prosecution or defence require it, I will repeat my remarks to the defendant in German. Before I proceed with this case I wish it to be recorded that some of the usual procedures will be minimised or omitted. The defendant was originally a European citizen but is now a citizen of the diplomatic entity known as the Spacers League. He has not claimed diplomatic immunity in this case and wishes to be treated by this court as if he were a German citizen. However, this court recognises the fact that citizens of the Spacers League do not swear on oath or affirm that they will tell the truth in a court of law if they do not claim diplomatic immunity. In the interest of fairness, the witness for the prosecution will not be required to swear on oath or affirm. However, any statements by witnesses or the defendant made in this court will be treated as if they were made on oath or affirmed. The German law concerning perjury will appply. Frau Rechtsanwaltin Schmidt, please make your opening statement.'
The proscuting lawyer stood up and began to speak..
'My client accuses the defendant of rape and gross sexual misconduct between 17:00 and 19:00 on the 22nd February.'
The magistrate said in English. "Mr McFigg, you are charged with rape and committing acts of gross sexual misconduct with the person of Fraulein Heidi Asbach between five and seven pm in the evening of 22nd February. Do you understand the charges?"
"Yes madam."
"Do you plead guilty or not guilty to these charges?"
"Not guilty to both of them madam."
The magistrate repeated what she had said in German for the benefit of the rest of the court.
Herr Meissner said. "Fraulein Asbach will appear behind the screen so that you will not be able to see her directly. She will be able to see a side view of you if she wishes on a monitor screen. You will shortly be able to see her face on the screen in front of you. Her lawyer will soon ask her to describe what happened."
Frau Bressel began to speak quietly in George's ear.
'I met Mr McFigg in a bar that was fairly close to my apartment. because he was such a good looking man I invited him to have a meal with me. He seemed lost as a stranger in the city and he looked as if he didn't know anyone. It was after the meal that he began to take liberties. He wrapped a piece of clothing around my neck and threatened to strangle me unless I perfomed fellatio on him. Then he tied me up and raped me using a condom."
'Frau Schmidt sat down and Herr Meissner stood up and went to where he could see Fraulein Asbach directly.
'Fraulein Asbach, were there any traces of semen that could be used for DNA tests?'
'No. He forced me to swallow his semen when I performed fellatio on him. As I said. He used a condom when he raped me and took it away with him when he left.'
'Were the lights on when these alleged offences took place?'
'Yes.'
'Would you recognise Mr. McFigg's sexual organs if you saw them again?'
'I don't know. Most men are much the same in that department.'
'Can you tell me what you can remember?'
'His pubic hair was black and bushy'
Someone in the public area giggled quietly
Her Meissner continued. 'Can you remember anything else. For example, was he circumcised or not?'
"He looked as if he was circumcised to me.'
'Is there anything else that you can remember like birth marks or the colour of his skin?'
'His skin was white.'
'Were there any birthmarks or other distinguishing features?'
'None that I can remember. I was so terrified that I cannot say that I noticed anything else.'
"Did he have any hair on his chest?'
'I cannot remember. Most of the time he was wearing a vest or a similar garment.'
'What colour was his hair?'
'Black or nearly black.'
'Are you sure that the man shown in the pictures you have is the man who raped you?'
'Yes.'
'Can you remind me of your description of his pubic hair?'
'As I said, it was black and very bushy.'
'Please try to remember if you saw any distinguishing marks on his body.'
'None that I can remember.'
'Are you absolutely certain that the man who raped you is the man shown in the images in front of you?
'Yes. I would recognise his face anywhere.'
'Fraulein Asbach, can you be sure that you have not confused the defendant with someone who looks like him?'
'Yes. I saw his tattoo on his forehead. It included the number 207.'
'Please look at your monitor screen. Can you see a tattoo now?'
'No. It may be covered in makeup. I know that Spacers use makeup to cover their tattoos so that they can pretend not to be the dirty Spacers that they are.'
'Fraulein Asbach, it is not a secret that Spacers have tattoos on their foreheads or what their code numbers are. Are you sure that you saw the defendant's tattoo when he came into your apartment at 5pm in the evening of 22nd February?'
'Yes.'
'Fraulein Asbach, what would you say if I said that I can prove that you are lying?'
'I would say that you are lying.'
Dr. Meissner turned to the magistrate.
'Madam, I have no further questions of this witness but I have here some confidential personal medical records that pertain to my client. I am sure that they show that the statements given by the witness for the prosecution do not provide an accurate description of the defendant. I request that you call an adjournment to study them.'
Herr Meissner handed the folder to the magistrate.
The magistrate looked shocked as she opened it.
Herr Meissner returned to sit near to George.
"It was too easy," he whispered.
The clerk called Frau Bressel and Frau Schmidt to talk to the magistrate.
The magistrate, Frau Bressel and Frau Schmidt discussed what they were looking at in German for a few minutes. George saw that the magistrate was having difficulty in maintaining her composure.
Herr Meissner told George to stand while the magistrate and Frau Bressel left the courtroom.
He said. "Mr. McFigg, I am sure that this must have been a staged job. I think that she is a stooge trying to get publicity for her cause. The question is, will the magistrate accept the medical evidence that the Spacers League has provided?"
Frau Bressel returned and said to George. The records that you provided relate to procedures that took place some years ago. Is there any way to prove that your appearance has not changed since then?"
"I will happily show myself to anyone who cares to look at me. However, I would prefer that another spacer accompanied me to act as a chaperone."
Is there anyone in the court who can act as a chaperone for you?
"Yes, Spacer Kathy Hilditch. She is the tall one wearing the long blonde wig. She visited me the night before I was arrested."
Frau Bressel departed through the door at the rear of the court.
She returned shortly afterwards and spoke to the clerk.
The clerk went over to where Kathy was sitting and beckoned her to follow him.
Frau Bressel returned to George and said. "It is all arranged. If you are willing, you are requested to go to the magistrates' room to show that your appearance has not changed. Miss Hilditch will be present with the magistrate, Frau Schmidt and myself. Herr Meissner may come too if he so wishes."
Herr Meissner declined the invitation.
In the magistrate's room Frau Bressel translated the magistrate's words.
'This procedure is highly irregular. It would normally be carried out by a male doctor employed by the court. However, because of the seriousness of the charges and the evidence provided by Herr Meissner that appears to prove that this is a case of mistaken identity, I have agreed to witness the evidence personally.'
'Mr. McFigg, please show us the relevant parts of your anatomy.'
George did as he was asked.
Kathy Hilditch spoke. "I have had intercourse with Mr McFigg on many occasions. I can testify that his appearance has not changed since January this year. You should see Mr. McFigg as he is shown in the images so that you can have no doubt that Fraulein Asbach was lying." As she said this she stepped forward and began to massage George.
Frau Schmidt (translated) said. 'This is most improper. I protest.'
Kathy said. "This is necessary. With Mr. McFigg in this state you can see that it would be impossible to miss the tattoos from the position claimed by Fraulein Asbach. You can also see the total absence of hair of any colour. All Spacers are hairless all over. We usually disguise the fact when we circulate among non-Spacers. I could further demonstrate that condoms are unnecessary for Spacers. Mr. McFigg is totally sterile." The magistrate and Frau Bessel looked on in amazement.
Frau Schmidt said. "I have seen too much already. She went red in the face and made a quick exit.
Frau Bessel and the magistrate were evidently aroused by what they were witnessing. They were clearly hypnotised by Kathy and George.
Kathy then said. "I am getting to be an old lady now and I will have to retire soon. I am now 73. I think that I am older than both of you." The ladies acknowledged the truth of her statement. "What you see now has been developed and moulded by women just to please women like us. Only the men that can stand the treatment can become Spacers. That is one reason why women in space outnumber men two to one. You can see that Mr. McFigg could not have raped Fraulein Asbach without causing her a lot of pain. She made no complaint about any pain. Mr. McFigg has the capacity to give me a great deal of pleasure. Have you seen enough evidence?"
The magistrate looked embarrassed then whispered something in Kathy's ear. Kathy smiled then winked at Frau Bessel.
The magistrate struggled to regain her composure and said. "I must return to the court now. Mr. McFigg, please adjust your clothing and return to the court with Miss Hilditch and Frau Bessel."

There was a buzz of conversation that quietened when the magistrate re-entered the courtroom. She announced in German. 'I find the case against George McFigg to be entirely without foundation. It should never have been brought. Mr McFigg, I formally find you not guilty of any of the offences that you were charged with. You are free to leave when this session closes.
Fraulein Asbach, as the examining magistrate I charge you with perjury and attempting to pervert the course of justice. You will be detained until your case is heard in another court. You do not need to say anything at this time.'
Fraulein Asbach burst into tears. Her lawyer tried to comfort her.
The magistrate then said. 'This session is now closed.' Then she went out of the back door of the court.
Herr Meissner said. "Mr. McFigg, I do not know what went on in the magistrate's room and I do not want to know. You certainly impressed the magistrate. I could see that you had won by her expression as she came back into the court. Your case has been very instructive to me. Do you wish to press charges for defamation of character?"
"No, Herr Meissner. The news reports will be enough to clear my name. However, I will have to leave here soon because of the publicity. Please tell the news people that I do not wish to make a personal statement. You can tell them that the court has found that Fraulein Asbach's description of me was inaccurate. They know that she has been charged with perjury and attempting to pervert the course of justice."

As George made his way to the exit he was joined by Kathy and the other Spacers. Dinella Rossi as the senior Spacer commanded. "Code 4, WEDGE!"
George felt himself being picked up and carried horizontally by the girls who formed a tight wall on either side of him. George was carried well clear of the court before the reporters or any of the other onlookers realised that he was gone. A Spacer floater opened its door for George and some of the Spacers. Kathy was among them.
Captain Dinelli said. "Lieutenant McFigg, please report."
George said. "With respect ma'am, I think that Commander Hilditch is in a better position to give a report than me."
Captain Dinelli said. "Lieutenant McFigg, I withdraw that command. Commander Hilditch, please report."
Kathy said. "I used 1 and 6 to impress the natives. I told them how old I was and what they were seeing had been fashioned to suit us. I told them that we are all hairless and that you cannot fit a carrot in a pinhole. I was dying for a 12 but I had to leave it. I am sure that the translator, the prosecution lawyer and the magistrate would love an invitation to George's apartment ma'am."
"Well done Commander. I will arrange that the invitations are sent if Lieutenant McFigg agrees. Do you Lieutenant?"
"Of course ma'am if you and the others are invited too." 
Everyone laughed.

PAUSE
The next section deals with George's arrival in London. Viewers familiar with this subject may pass on to the following section. Please select PASS or CONTINUE.

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