chapter 13
Let me Let you know.
Im not one to brag. But ladies and gentleman, yes, i can spell gentleman, i know everything. Everything. However chapter 14 is about something else, something bigger....
Have you ever been sitting alone at night, looking blankly towards a fish bowl, and wondered 'why dont have fish have legs?'. God plagues our world with unanswerable questions such as this. A cruel deed indeed...deed. Unanswerable until now, that is. For in the following words you will find the answer to the burning questions each and every one of you has about fish legs. Some of our eyes are not ready to read on, we cant handle the truth behind the fish legs. For these people i pray that you make a decision. Either read on and be forever enlightened, or stop here, and forever understand the sacrifice you have made...or something.
POINT OF NO RETURN!
Long ago, while god was creating the world, he decided to make fish and other creatures to put in the vast oceans covering the world. So far everything that had been created had been given legs to walk or run or jump with. God paused and pondered giving fish legs. 'why be so damn repetitive?' god said. God understood the handicaps fish would face because of him not giving them legs but he didnt care. So, God, with all of his grace and almighty power said, 'let there be some fish up in dis bitch, and yall aint get no legs neither!'. And with this command fish with no legs were created. Whatever you might believe, there were actual reasons God did not give fish legs. Some of these reasons are even today not understood by any man on earth...but they are however known. Known and not understood, thats how we felt about the fish...So anyway heres fish fish dont have legs.
If fish were given legs then it would be really fucking scary swimming in the ocean or in lakes. Picture yourself swimming at the beach. Your minding your own business or maybe playing a nice game of water polo. You decide to stick your head under the water to cool off a little. Then , when you stick your head under water, a big ass fish is running at you full speed with a pissed off look on his face. What the hell are you gonna do? probably get your ass kicked because running underwater takes strength and if you did it all day every day of your life like those fish with legs do then you'd have some strong ass legs too.
Lets say you buy a goldfish with legs. At first it's great. You've got yourself a nice little pet goldfish. He likes you, you like him, everything is right with the world. But soon enough he starts to get on your nerves. Hes always bugging you for food and telling you to clean the fish crap out of his bowl. Then when you get your girlfriend over and your about to get it on, he decides to jump out of his bowl, walk over to the couch, and slide down your girlfriends pants. Well now shes grossed out and she leaves. THat damn fish just ruined your whole night. So now your pissed. You grab that little asshole fish and swear to god your going to kill him. you take him to the bathroom and FLUSH! So your go sit down and your feeling good because you killed that goldfish thats been getting on your nerves so much. Then out of nowehere the goldfish jumps over your chair, grabs a pen, and stabs you in the eye and kills you. how did this happen? Well in case you forgot, your fish has legs. When you flushed he just ran against the tide in the toilet. Then when it was done flushing he jumped out of the toilet, walked over to you, and killed you. Yep thats right, no flushing fish with legs down the toilet.
Also, lets face it, fish smell really horrible. Especially live ones. So god didn't give them legs just as a 'screw you for smelling'. Also their lack of legs makes them easier to kill and eat.
While these are not the only reasons, i feel it is best that i stop now. For more information of why fish dont have legs one most get in touch with his innerself, and realize you suck.
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