Conversation with the Beast
Me: Hello, Beast. You there?
Beast: No, you idiot, I'm on vacation. Where the hell do you think I would be?
Me: You've got something of mine, and I want it back!
Beast: Damn straight I got something. And you don't deserve it.
Me: I deserve better than you think, but you've got my anger, and I want it back!
Beast: "And I want it ba-ack!" What a pussy! The anger is all mine. What the hell does a wimp like you want anger for, anyway?
Me: I want to own my rage instead of turning it inward. I want to be pissed at those who've done me wrong. I want to be unsatisfied with a crappy job. I want the desire to change.
Beast: And you think this anger will give you that? You are pathetic. You wouldn't know what to do with it if you had it. You gave up on anger a long time ago, and it's all mine now. You are a spineless waste of space with no more drive than a '72 nova up on blocks.
Me: Because you stole it from me! You let me be the victim! You took my rage and turned it against me! You made me into what you hate!
Beast: For a useless pushover, you almost had a roll going there.
Me: I'm sick of being frightened by success. I'm sick of sabotaging myself. I'm sick of not letting myself excell. Give me my anger and let me use it!
Beast: Not bad, but you have a lot to learn before you will be anything but a slave to it. It's going to take some work. And when you fail, I'll be waiting.
Me: But we're already an expert. It's not the rage that needs to change, but it's target. You know how to turn it into action. Think of how far we could go!
Beast: For a washed up loser, you have some big ideas.
Me: Don't you see? I don't have to be washed up. If we work together, we can be free of the downward spiral. We can make good things happen! We can change the world!
Beast: Woah there, punk-boy. Let's start small. You live like a pig, how about you change one corner of the world and clean up that smelly bathroom?
Me: I think that's a good start.
------------------------------------
Another Conversation with the Beast
Me: Hello, Beast!
Beast: Don't "Hello" me, you pathetic worm! Leave me alone!
Me: I would, but my therapist thinks that underneath all of this hostility, you have something useful to tell me.
Beast: He thinks I can give voice to your higher self. But I don't care about good or bad, I'm just angry!
Me: So how about some angry advice and we can call it good or bad later?
Beast: Advice? I'll give you some advice! Why don't you tell that rat-faced skater punk boss of yours to fuck off and get a real job? And while you are at it, you should go nail that one hot chick in the call center.
Me: See? That wasn't so bad!
Beast: You are such a pussy. You have no intention of doing either of these things. The fun part is watching you squirm, knowing how much you would like to. But for these things, you just have no balls. I'll talk to you later, I have better things to do.
------------------------------
Try Again
Me: Hello, Beast.
Beast: Hello, pathetic little wretch.
Me: What do you have for me today?
Beast: You think you're so smart, but it still took you a month to figure out what scares you. You try to repress her as hard as you try to repress me, but what does your inward anger and hatred have to offer next to that sexy bitch, Oblivion?
Me: Yeah, she is a lot more pleasant to listen to, that's for sure, but where she wants to takee me scares the crap out of me.
Beast: You are lucky she defeats herself. That's the only thing that's kept your worthless life intact.
Me: Still, she doesn't abuse me like you do.
Beast: She doesn't abuse you? You stupid idiot! It's -because- of her you have no good job, no girlfriend, you never see your friends, you've been ignoring your online friends, you never call your family... You could at least have the balls to recognise that the pathetic waste of breath you've made of your life is all due to her. And the more I try to kick your lazy ass into gear, the more you turn to her to get away from me! Her power lines are all over you and you just go with it because it's easier to be a spineless pussy than to face me and make something of yourself!
Oblivion: You don't neeed to listen to that nasty Beast. He doesn't care how you feel. Besides, if you don't stop writing this you will be late for the group.
Me: Ok, thanks for the reality check, guys. Talk to you again soon.
-----------------------------------
Yes, there's more, read on about A Conversation in my Head
Page: Home 1 2 3 4