CHAPTER FIFTEEN

MASTURBATION FANTASIES AND LUST

We conclude with answers to three questions unmarried teens and adults often think about but only occasionally ask. What about masturbation? What about fantasies? What about lust?

My answers to these questions are again based on the all-important principle of value--value that builds self-worth for ourselves and for others.

ABOUT MASTURBATION

"What about masturbation?" is by far the most common question asked by singles--when they are allowed to write down questions anonymously. In seminars I have conducted, this question is asked four times as often as any other. Of course, this only happens if the anonymity is authentic. If anonymity is not respected and/or the question and answer time is oral, the question may not be asked at all. This is because it takes an exceptionally gutsy single adult to ask publicly about masturbation.

In polite society, masturbation is one of the unmentionables that has no place in social conversation. And yet many studies show that sexual self stimulation is a common practice among single adults. (Masturbation is not just an adolescent issue, as Smedes seems to imply in his discussion of "self-petting" in Sex for Christians, pp. 160-64.) McCary argued in his book Human Sexuality that 95 percent of men and between 50 and 90 percent of women masturbate. If the figures are accurate, almost all men and most women masturbate at some time in their single lives.

Harold Ivan Smith, in a gutsy and informative address to the National Association of Single Adult Leaders in 1992 in San Francisco, said that although the famous but dated Kinsey Report found that 92 percent of males and 58 percent of females masturbated at some point in their lives, more recent studies have reported the figures at 97 percent and 83 percent, respectively.

Smith also noted that one recent study showed that among senior citizens over age eighty, 72 percent of males and 40 percent of females masturbate. Smith's numbers represent the percentages of all adults that masturbate, so it would naturally follow that the percentages for single adults would be higher.

Smith refers as well to a recent study of 312 single adults, 98 percent of whom identified themselves as Christians active in a large single adult ministry in a metropolitan area. Of these adults, consisting of a 40/60 split between men and women and almost half college graduates, 75 percent admitted to having masturbated within the last month and 52 percent in the last week. Of these church-going Christians, only 6 percent believed masturbation to be morally wrong. Though the study does not indicate how many singles masturbate on a regular basis, these findings suggest masturbation is more common in the Christian community than many evangelical leaders admit.

The widespread practice represents a major change in attitudes regarding masturbation, and so a brief history is in order. For most of Western history, society and the church have warned against the practice. This was probably expressed most strongly by the medieval theologian Thomas Aquinas, who said that since every ejaculation that could not lead to procreation was sinful, masturbation was a sin "worse than intercourse with one's own mother." Of course, not everyone felt as strongly negative about masturbation as Aquinas. There have always been advocates on both sides of the issue, just as there are today.

However, in England during the Enlightenment, the negative view of masturbation became even stronger. In 1640, Richard Capel, the preacher of Magdalen College in Oxford, which was the center of Puritan teaching, claimed that "self-pollution" was the greatest sin against nature and led to bodily weaknesses, impotence, and shortening of the life span because of suicide. A Puritan physician named Bekker believed that the vice of masturbation was widespread among both men and women, and he felt obliged as a doctor to be frank about its consequences. Those consequences, he wrote, ranged from vomiting and weakening of the organs to backaches, attacks of rage, and epilepsy4

Bekker's book unleashed a torrent of publicity. The book was translated into many languages and published in many editions. Almost fifty years later the crusade against masturbation reached its pinnacle when a Swiss physician, Simon-Andre Tissot, published his book Onan, A Treatise on the Diseases Produced by Onanism. "Onanism" was the label Bekker had used to describe masturbation, claiming that Onan of Judah (in Genesis 38) practiced masturbation. (In truth, Onan simply refused to culminate a sexual union with his brother's widow, as required by Jewish law. Onan spilled his seed on the ground in an act of coitus interruptus.) Tissot claimed masturbation, or Onanism, had such after-effects as deteriorating brain size.

Fortunately, today these myths and their corresponding remedies have been medically debunked. On a popular level, although masturbation is still generally considered to be unacceptable, it has become more acceptable in the past twenty years. As one single woman told me, "I was really surprised about all the questions about masturbation. I was told it was OK by my parents and grew up thinking that everyone did it. I can't believe that so many single Christians are so hung up about it."

For this woman, the issue is simple. But for many single adults who were raised before the sexual revolution, or for those--regardless of age--who were taught the sinfulness of masturbation, the whole subject is quite confusing and frustrating. Christian singles at different seminars have asked me the "M" question in many ways: "Is masturbation a permitted or scriptural activity for sexual release?" "Is masturbation a sin in God's eyes?" "What is the truth in "use it or lose it?"' "A good friend once said to me, 'If you don't have sugar, use a substitute.' What do you think?"

Before we answer these questions, consider the stories of two individuals, Penny and Patrick. Penny, twenty-six, says she has "never been sexually active," but she qualifies that statement by adding, "I have never experienced nor participated in intravaginal sex, anal sex, or oral sex."

Penny wrote in her sexual history that she considers herself "very strict and very strong with [her sexual] boundaries." But as a seventh grader, she remembers the influence of her sister, one year older than she: "My sister was very promiscuous and physical with her boy-friends, especially one in particular. They would sneak over to our house when Mom was gone and would 'make out' heavily. There are a couple of things I saw that really upset me, but out of a 'pact' with my sister about being a good sister and keeping secrets, I never really told my mom the whole picture of what was going on, but I did give her some hints. This excessive physicalness led to my sister's pregnancy. She gave the child up for adoption."

As a result of her sister's actions, Penny felt both curiosity about boys and fear that sexual feelings were dangerous. Out of her curiosity, one night in her bedroom about a year later, "I experimented 'touching' myself in the genital area and discovered that it really felt good. That began what I consider an 'on and off' habit of masturbating.

"Over the period of years to the present time, my desire and urge to masturbate was inconsistent. However, when I became 'born again' as a sophomore in high school, this became a source of great anxiety for me and still is. I was taught in church that masturbation is a 'sin.' Each time I indulged in that behavior, I felt terribly ashamed and guilty. But then, after being taught and reading that masturbation is normal and healthy and isn't something dirty, I could 'rationalize' my behavior and not feel bad about doing it.

"The problem is I'm not sure if the behavior is sinful. Am I feeling guilty because the Holy Spirit is convicting me? Or do I feel guilty because that is what I have been taught? It's a tough call. I am trying not to indulge that behavior, but I find that the older I get and the more stimulated and curious I get about sex, the more I feel better about releasing my sexual tension and exploring my sexuality through masturbation--because it is 'safe' for me and my boundaries can remain intact. Yet I feel guilty... I have not resolved this issue."

Since then, Penny has allowed boyfriends to have little physical contact with her--only a little kissing and hand-holding. Once she allowed a boyfriend of five years to touch her breasts. "I figured, why not? It might be fun, and I knew I wasn't in danger of getting too excited with him," she explained. "It was the only time I ever allowed anyone to get physical with me."

But as a result she concluded, "I feel like in the future such physicalness will only be appropriate in my marriage. I only want my husband to have the privilege of caressing me. I want to give my intimate parts only to my husband."

Then Penny added, "Your 'value' approach to sex is very appropriate and right on target. This approach to celibacy is not a new concept to me. It is one I have operated from. I do consider myself valuable and consider 'celibacy' to be valuable and something that should be treasured, honored, respected, and desired. I feel that our own virginity is a gift that God enables us to have and is one of the most important gifts that we can give our spouses."

This single woman has been able to develop a healthy view of both sexuality and celibacy, and she is able to appreciate how it affects her sense of personal value. But in spite of all this, masturbation is still a troublesome issue for her. She feels both good and guilty about it, and she has heard confusing messages from friends and spiritual leaders.

Penny still has a way to go on her journey toward sexual wholeness and integration, but I think she is far ahead of most of her peers, as is illustrated by Patrick. A single adult, Patrick discovered masturbation at age sixteen while looking at pictures from a swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated.

His response to his action? "I was quite shocked. I was raised in a very strict and fundamentalistic religious environment, and I lacked any real support. I tried to tell my step-father, but he only sought to punish me. I didn't realize what effect masturbation could have on me, and it wasn't too long before I did it again. I somehow felt strange about myself and guilty too. My stepfather sought to make me quit by letting others in authority in our church know about my problem."

Patrick bemoaned the fact that he received little support or help from those around him. "And certainly not any accurate information. Somehow, I lived in a world of guilt for much of my adolescence. I really didn't date in high school and only began to date when I went to a nearby junior college. To this day, I have maintained my virginity in the technical sense and have had little sexual contact with girls. But when I was growing up, I knew my friends were sexually active. Somehow I avoided that, and while I am glad to this day, it still has left me with other problems.

"I still masturbate--not so much for some faceless person focusing on a single body part but out of imagining someone warm and loving. I feel pretty lonely and isolated. Nowadays, I don't beat myself up with a lot of guilt over it like I used to. I do my best to steer clear from masturbation and any stimulation that would lead me to masturbate. However, I still slip up and do it. I do my best to claim God's forgiveness and to repent of it, and not to dwell on it or let it make me depressed. That would be an endless cycle....

"Once people know that I am still a virgin, they applaud my staying power' and congratulate me. However, I grew up in an environment where even the young Christian kids around me were sexually active. This had the effect of making me feel very inadequate, and it is a feeling I still need to fight to this day... My big concern is that I will not be sexually adequate for women. I am not a stud nor do I have this great physique. It is hard to imagine a woman wanting me sexually... actually I don't worry about this much... I for one will press on. I would really hate to think I could be single all my life, and I certainly don't want this gift from God."

IS MASTURBATION OK?

So is masturbation OK for single Christians, or is it a sin? Many different answers are given to this question, just as there are different approaches to the whole issue of sexuality. Let me list just a few of the statements that have been made by prominent Christian teachers and theologians. I am indebted to Harold Ivan Smith for the following references, but I will list these statements without mentioning names or references. I do this for a reason: I have known many Christian singles who are unduly swayed by certain personalities that are popular today. They will agree with what an authority figure says, rather than closely investigating what he or she said. Most of the statements oppose the practice; a few see the action as neutral, neither right nor wrong.

"Masturbation is sin. The alternatives are clear--self control or marriage. There is no third option. It constitutes a perversion of the sex act."
"Masturbation is an unnatural way of dealing with the sex drive; it's second-rate sex."
"It's my opinion that masturbation is not much of an issue with God. It is a normal part of adolescence which involves no one else. I'm not telling you to masturbate, and I hope you won't feel the need for it. But if you do, it is my opinion that you should not struggle with guilt. The best I can do is suggest that you talk to God personally about it."
"Masturbation brings inevitable, though typically mild, guilt. I suspect it's because every adolescent brain is able to reflect, 'I know I was made for something better than this."'
"Masturbation is a practice best avoided by Christian young people. There is no biological need to masturbate."
"We do not feel it is an acceptable practice for Christians. It violates I Corinthians 7:9, 'It is better to marry than to burn."
"It is a phase en route to a better way of sexual fulfillment. It is not morally wrong, but neither is it personally sufficient. It is not on the same casual level as other activities, but neither is it a terribly secret sin."
"The act of masturbation in and of itself is neither good nor evil, but it can be, for a Christian, a peg upon which one hangs his anxieties. It is time we stopped making such a big deal out of masturbation."
"It's satanic, carnal, opposed to the best interests of people committed to the Lord. It wouldn't damn your soul, but it would limit your health. It's a rejection, not a release, of self discipline."

A few commentators see masturbation as positive, a release valve for sexual pressure. It is even "a gift from God," according to one commentator:

"When masturbation is used solely as an occasional, limited means of sexual self control until marriage, it is within the Christian understanding of God's plan for the purpose of young men's lives."
"For those without partners, masturbation can be that occasional gift through which we are graced to break through the sexual dualisms that beset and alienate us."

"Masturbation is generally wrong. It's sin when the only motive is sheer pleasure. It's sin when it becomes a compulsive habit. It's sin when the habit results from inferior feelings. But it can be right when used as a limited temporary program of self-control to avoid lust. Masturbation used in moderation without lust for the purpose of retaining one's purity is not immoral."
"Masturbation can be a positive factor in your total development. It is a gift from God."

If you feel confused by all the opinions, then you can better understand the quandary singles face on this issue. Basically, there are three common views: two extremes and one middle of the road. One extreme says masturbation is abomination in God's eyes and always wrong. On the other extreme is the notion that is gaining more and more popularity--that masturbation is a positive expression for both singles and marrieds. One author says it's God's gift to single adults, another says that it is one of the keys to successful singlehood. The "middle of the road" school says that it is sometimes bad and sometimes OK, depending on such factors as frequency and purpose.

Is masturbation something that should be avoided by Christian single adults, or is it the key to loving oneself in a healthy way? I think a helpful answer will be structured in terms of the whole paradigm of value and self worth. The question has to be, "Does masturbation enhance or inhibit the purpose of our single sexuality, which is to protect and assert a sense of personal and physical value?" To put it simply, is a person devalued by the practice of masturbation? If masturbation diminishes a person's sense of self-worth, it will inhibit his or her ability to develop relationships that are founded on a mutual sense of value.

Controlled masturbation might be like a small withdrawal from one's savings account. If too many withdrawals are made, or if nothing is ever deposited to the account (as when masturbation becomes an uncontrollable and obsessive desire), the sense of personal worth and value will diminish. A person who feels devalued in this way will tend to isolate himself/herself from others and withdraw from relationships. I think masturbation in this sense would be harmful.

The bottom line is singles must be honest with themselves about what part masturbation has in their lives. Does it build or destroy their sense of personal value? Is there a great deal of withdrawing from the moral bank account, or is it making self control possible so that the person is saving himself/herself morally. I don't claim that considering how masturbation affects the sense of personal worth is easy. But I do think singles understand this economics analogy better than they understand the measurements of frequency and purpose, so they are more apt to apply the concept better.

If masturbation is occasionally OK to control one's sexual urges, we must also ask, "Just how often may a single masturbate? Once a year? Once a month? Once a week? Once a day?" Any attempt to draw a line will be arbitrary, so this factor is limited in its helpfulness. Some would say that the purpose is most important: "Is your purpose to be able to control one's sexual urges or to give yourself pleasure?" Some authors argue that the first purpose is acceptable, whereas the second is not. But how can someone differentiate between the two? We seem to be thrown back on the problem that confronted Johann Von Wesel: masturbation is acceptable if we don't enjoy it too much.

What about masturbation in marriage? Just as genital intimacy is considered appropriate in marriage, so masturbation for intimacy and upholding value is permissible in marriage. However, even in marriage masturbation can be helpful or detrimental. Mutual masturbation can be a beneficial asset as an alternative to intercourse in marriage, or it can be detrimental if it becomes an isolated activity that causes a distancing between the partners or causes one or both to feel devalued.

IS MASTURBATION SIN?

The Bible says nothing about masturbation. The passage in the Old Testament about Onan who spilled his seed on the ground has nothing to do with masturbation. But Onan's action says much about how we are to treat others and that we are valuable in God's sight. Furthermore, it instructs us to live in such a way as to protect and cherish that value, rather than destroying it. Masturbation that makes us feel out of control--or seeking control--does not preserve our value as sexual beings.

But how can singles build up a sense of value and self-worth? Let's recall our lesson in chapter 3 about King David: building up a reservoir of value will involve sacrifice. It has to cost us something. As Donald Goergen wrote in The Sexual Celibate,

Celibate love forgoes genital sexuality in order to be single for Christ. If one is going to be interpersonally free as a single person, genital abstinence contributes to this goal. The celibate struggles to forgo genital love in his interpersonal life and thus to transcend experiencing genitality as a need. Masturbation, however, is genital activity. For this reason, it is something that a celibate person wants to grow beyond. As genital activity... [masturbation] represents the fact that a celibate has not fully outgrown his need for genital expression, which he or she is choosing to outgrow. Masturbation, for the celibate... falls short of the ideal.'

ARE FANTASIES SIN?

I chose to deal with the issue of fantasies following the question about masturbation because the issues and solution are much the same. Again, there are two extremes--the view that fantasies are actually a gift from God for single adults, and the view that to fantasize is to commit a terrible sin that must be conquered at all costs. There also is a middle view that admits the dangers and allows some positive benefits.

Both ancients and moderns agree, there is a way to fantasize and not sin, just as there is a way to masturbate and not sin. The basic issue now is: is your fantasy taking advantage of or objectifying some specific person? Jesus said, "Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). I think He was careful in His choice of words and was meaning a specific woman. To fantasize about a romantic sunset or a candlelight dinner with a faceless stranger may not be sin. To think of a nondescript person in sexual terms, such as imagining what it would feel like to be kissed, to imagine what it feels like to be held (even wrap your own arms around yourself to feel the sensation) may not be sinful. This is not to imply that all kissing or holding is positive. Even kissing or embracing can be a devaluing experience.

The dividing line between an appropriate and an inappropriate fantasy is whether or not the fantasy motivates a person to relate to others or causes the person to withdraw from others. If a person would rather sit and fantasize than relate to real people, such fantasizing is harmful. If the activity becomes obsessive and isolates a person, there is an even greater danger. In both cases, the image of God in us, the drive to love and be loved, is hindered.

However, if a person uses fantasy as a way of controlling impulses, such activity is positive and can enhance relationships. This is especially true for a person who has a difficult time with physical control when dating.

In addition, a person who chooses to fantasize frequently may develop a private fantasy life that is easier than dealing with real people in relationships. That's why some people get hooked on pornography. The women and men models in the pictures never refuse the reader. They are readily available, they don't argue or reject anyone, they don't have personality problems that need to be dealt with. Excessive fantasies and/or pornography (like homosexuality) are an easy way out, a cop-out, an escape from doing real work in real relationships with real people. He or she can escape reality intentionally, short-circuiting intended relationships or believing he's in a make-believe world.

Why would singles choose to avoid relationships and sink into the world of obsession? Perhaps because of pain from their past, they feel that the risk of relating is just too much. Or others might do it because they have failed in relationships so many times and cannot stand the thought of failing again. Another person might choose to retreat into that world because of deep feelings of inferiority. But this fantasy world is more destructive than helpful. Obsessive fantasies cause people to retreat and be isolated, instead of motivating people to do the work of relationships and learn to love and forgive real people. Rather than allowing the image of God to be developed fully within, such fantasies prevent the image of God from being actualized.

The obsessions also can lead a person in a downward spiral toward increased isolation. They can become sexual black holes that suck everything out of a person and lead to feelings of devaluation. Because God has designed us to be with people, isolation or withdrawal is destructive to the personhood and potential God created in each human. The end result, not surprisingly, is a devalued sense of self and sexuality.

HOW CAN I CONTROL LUST?

That lust is sin is clear from Jesus' declaration during His Sermon on the Mount. Lust is a form of adultery (Matthew 5:28). It is always destructive, always devaluing. And it is a powerful force, once we choose to pay it attention. In Godric, Frederick Buechner's novel about a twelfth-century holy man, the main character happens to see his sister Burcwen bathe. Rather than calling out to her and announcing his presence, he watched from a distance:

Within my mind she stands there yet. Her naked limbs are shapely. Her virgin breasts are pale and soft as doves. Her hair is bright with sun. She stoops to cup some water in her hand. Susanna never bathed more chaste and fair than she, all unaware that not far off the hidden elders looked on her with lust.

Lust is the ape that gibbers in our loins. Tame him as we will by day, he rages all the wilder in our dreams by night. Just when we think we're safe from him, he raises up his ugly head and smirks, and there's no river in the world flows cold and strong enough to strike him down.

Lust indeed is a powerful animal. But it is not a free, independent animal. It is a parasite that can live only off the lives of others. Like a leech that sucks dry the blood of its host, lust will destroy the very life it attaches itself to. It is a dangerous foe, worthy of the greatest fear and respect. Singles should be careful in the presence of this monster, lest they too become victims in its long path of destruction. Though lust is terrible and voracious, it is not automatic. It can be fought. It can even be conquered. One can be tempted and not give in to the temptation. Lust is not all-powerful. Neither is to lust the same action as to fantasize. One can lust without fantasizing, and vice versa.

Both Jesus in Matthew 6 and James in James 1 seem to suggest that there is a moral space, or period of time, between the temptation of sin and the act of sin. Being tempted to sin doesn't mean a person has sinned. A man can look upon a woman and be sexually tempted and not lust. A woman can look on a man and be sexually tempted and yet not sin. In that moral space we can make a choice to act out that temptation or not act it out.

In Chapter 6, I made the suggestion that every sexually tempting situation is a call to prayer. That is just one option; there are others. The point is that when we are tempted, we are at a crossroads. We can choose to follow the temptation, or we can choose an alternative route--one that respects and enhances our sense of personal worth and value. Therefore, a person can be sexually tempted and yet refrain from lusting. Smedes helpfully points out this difference:

It is foolish to identify every erotic feeling with lust. There is a sexual desire that feels like a lonely vacuum yearning to be filled, a longing for intimacy that broods unsettled in one's system. To identify this as lust is to brand every normal sexual need as adultery. Eros, the longing for personal fulfillment, must not be confused with lust, the untamed desire for another's body. Nor is every feeling of attraction toward an exciting person the spark of lust. It would be odd indeed if the Creator put attractive people in the world and forbade us to notice them. But there is a difference between the awareness of someone's sexual attractions and being dominated by a desire for that person's body.

WHAT ABOUT SEXUAL ADDICTIONS?

We have warned earlier about the devaluing consequences of fantasies that become obsessive. Thus single and married people alike ask how they can control their fantasies. "What about sexual addictions caused by obsessive fantasies? Would twelve-step programs or support groups for addictions be helpful?"

For some people, support groups might be very helpful. Many people have been greatly helped by such groups as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. But such groups should be viewed as temporary helps, to be abandoned once the necessary sense of personal value and strength has been acquired. If a support group becomes a permanent fixture, the individual has just replaced one addiction with another. The group may be a more socially acceptable addiction than a chemical one, but it is still an addiction. In the same way, a self-help group for sexual addiction can provide a temporary help in conquering this problem.

In other cases, though, such groups can actually become harmful. Sexual addicts may become aroused by the discussion. In that case, the group would present an opportunity for the addiction to flourish rather than find healing. It would be like going to an AA meeting and having alcohol for refreshments. Second, these groups, if not completely and confidentially led, may actually give sexual addicts the opportunity to connect with others who have the same problem. It would be like putting gasoline on a fire.

There is a way to find release from this quagmire, which also works for those who are obsessive about masturbation. It is the same plan that was offered earlier in chapter 11 to help couples back off from sexual involvement. The same practical steps discussed there also apply here:

1. acknowledge the problem,
2. make a plan,
3. work the plan,
4. have an accountability partner,
5. undergird all with prayer.

An especially helpful resource in this area is a short article in the fall 1982 Leadership journal called "The War Within: An Anatomy of Lust," The article generated the most mail to the editors of any article printed in the magazine, and it continues to be rated in reader surveys as one of the most helpful articles ever. It is the amazingly honest and shocking story of a minister's struggle with lust, pornography, and sexual deviance, and also chronicles his road back to balance and sexual healing. I recommend it enthusiastically.

The anonymous author describes how after ten years of struggle with lust and sexual addictions, and after almost a thousand prayers for forgiveness and deliverance, his prayers were finally answered and the monster was conquered. Central to the healing process was insight gained from reading What I Believe, by Francois Mauriac. Mauriac denies that the common reasons offered for sexual purity are sufficient. He too decries the reasons as all negative and, as such, lacking the power to propel us to victory in this crucial arena. "Most of our arguments for purity are negative arguments: be pure, or you will feel guilty, or your marriage will fail, or you will be punished."

Instead, Mauriac concludes that there is only one positive way to combat lust. The author describes it this way:

Mauriac concludes that there is only one reason to seek purity. It is the reason Christ proposed in the Beatitudes: "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." Purity, says Mauriac, is the condition for a higher love--for a possession superior to all possessions, God Himself.

The thought hit me like a bell rung in a dark, silent hall. So far, none of the scary, negative arguments against lust had succeeded in keeping me from it. Fear and guilt simply did not give me resolve; they added self-hatred to my problems. But here was a description of what I was missing by continuing to harbor lust: I was losing my own intimacy with God. The love He offers is so transcendent and possessing that it requires our faculties to be purified and cleansed before we can possibly contain it.'

I wholeheartedly agree with this author. Negative reasons for purity are simply not powerful enough to protect and motivate sexual single adults in today's world. Nor are they adequate to usher singles into an experience of the joy that Jesus claimed to be able to give. Negative reasons only protect from punishment. They are empty and have no actual content with which singles can fill their lives. Singles who try to maintain purity based on negative reasons alone may maintain purity, but that purity will be vacuous.

Positive reasons for single celibacy, however, do much more than just guard against impurity and destruction. They have solid, genuine content. They fill up a single person and provide a deep sense of satisfaction such as one feels after an exceptionally healthy and hearty meal.

The positive side of single sexuality allows us both to obey God and to experience the pleasure of purity. In addition, it enables us as single adults to develop a solid foundation for lives of self-worth and value, which in turn brings in a deep sense of joy and contentment. We experience what can be called pure joy!

THANKS FOR VISITING! GOD BLESS YOU!

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